Experience of losing virginity + should I contact her?

[NiceGuy110]

So I saw this girl in the bar I was in, and she gave a subtle indication of interest, enough for me to know that I could at least get a little making out with her. But the thing is, I was border-line attracted to her. Years ago, I would've said "no, I will only approach the best". But then again, you know what happens to you when you find yourself lying in bed alone and horny, and end up thinking back to all the border-line girls you've turned down. Besides, I'm 28 years old and it was time enough.

Anyway, when we got back to my place things were going fine, but at the point when I was taking off her pants, I was so disappointed to see so much hair down there. In porn, whenever there's hair, it's above the pussy, and when you see close ups of the pussy itself, there's no hair. I could see that she'd shaven some of it a while ago, but what annoyed me was that there was hair on the actual pussy lips. I hope this isn't common with women... to have sort of have hair everywhere but in the pussy itself. Since I'd been dreaming of licking pussy for so long I just went down on her anyway, but not for very long. I guess I was also naively under the impression that all young women don't grow hair around there assholes. I don't care how hot a girl is, if she's got a hairy a-hole, I will struggle to get hard for doggy.

When we were having sex, upon closer inspection, I noticed a slight mustache problem. By now I was not in the mood and I even considered thinking of something else to try get hard. I guess, any facial hair on women might suggest extra hair down there anyway?? And the other thing, is she'd barely any tits.

In the end I was struggling to stay hard, so I tried desperately to finger her, and then went back to intercourse for a while with me taking off the condom in the hope of feeling more. Then I was getting soft, so we'd to give up. I think maybe if her vagina wasn't so tight, I could have gotten away with being flaccid. I don't know if me not staying hard, was as a result of not being attracted to her, or from all the years of watching porn. It's impossible to know if it was one or the other, or both. Maybe I'll think twice about going for girls that are border-line attractive again.

After giving up, we then talked in the bed afterwards, for a whole hour, about all sorts of stuff. I could've felt like her gay friend or something, and I didn't care. She then fell asleep, but I only slept properly for about 30 minutes in the whole night. I was lying awake thinking "if I get some sleep I might be horny enough in the morning"! And I wasn't.

In the morning I suggested we add each other on facebook. I guess I was thinking "just in case". When we kissed goodbye at the door, I recall she said "I'll talk to you again right". Should I just not contact her again? I don't think I want to meet her, or where it'd even go! As regards the porn, I have a word file of many porn links saved in it that I look forward to watching. It will be hard to just delete them all.

 

[Michal]

Dont delete the porn links for now, be disciplined and simply dont look at them. Force yourself to overcome any urge to look at those and handle the temptation, it is a good way to train your endurance, it is a good ability to have. If you cannot handle that, then you should delete them. Sooner or later the temptation should subside and then you will just delete them because you dont see the need to having those.

 

[NiceGuy110]

Thanks Michael

Dont delete the porn links for now, be disciplined and simply dont look at them. Force yourself to overcome any urge to look at those and handle the temptation, it is a good way to train your endurance, it is a good ability to have. If you cannot handle that, then you should delete them. Sooner or later the temptation should subside and then you will just delete them because you dont see the need to having those.

Cheers for the advice of the porn links. You'd have to wonder, if you can get so much pleasure so easily, that nature must ensue a consequence.

I masturbate about 3 to 4 times per week. Sometimes just to thoughts, sometimes images, and sometimes to porn. Of those three, I'll try cut out the porn (which seems easy as I type now), but fapping to images shouldn't do any harm. Even if watching too much porn wasn't the issue for me that night, there are other reasons to quite watching it.

The way I've been masturbating for the last 6 years, is by lying on my side on my bed. I'm afraid at this stage, that it might be the case, that I might find it easier to get off, by lying on my side and dry humping a woman's legs, than actual intercourse. Whenever I thought about having sex with a woman, I always imagined myself taking my time, and doing all sorts of things before actual sticking it in. Women prefer this anyway. Next time I might just stick it straight in for fear of losing excitement.

BTW, I sent her a msg on fb and she hasn't replied yet. I'm kind of hoping she doesn't.

 

[NiceGuy110]

Dont delete the porn links for now, be disciplined and simply dont look at them. Force yourself to overcome any urge to look at those and handle the temptation, it is a good way to train your endurance, it is a good ability to have. If you cannot handle that, then you should delete them. Sooner or later the temptation should subside and then you will just delete them because you dont see the need to having those.

I deleted the links.

Fingers crossed that eventually I won't need such extreme or kinky thoughts when I masturbate.

 

[Seppuku]

NiceGuy,

So I understand that this was your first time? Congrats! Now I think you just were a little unlucky with her body hair. It is far from common issue for a girl to be that hairy while at the same time not doing anything about it. Many girls are just not hairy, and those who are will just shave (although I never met any who was *that* hairy* as you describe).

Now the partial loss of erection, it happens sometimes. We're not machines - to make it work, we must be into it, physically and mentally. Here, you were quite disappointed by her appearance, so not mentally into it. I have had a few experiences like this LOL. When you get my girls mostly from online like me, sometimes you have a few surprises when you discover what she actually looks like in real. I got at least two "fatty surprises" (where she's larger than the pictures implied), and a couple of border line experiences where she didn't look great once you remove the clothes - mostly older women - and still decided to go all the way for the sport, like it would be so impolite not to fuck her. Fortunately this is more than compensated by all the good cases, ending in great sex, so it is definitely worth the effort.

Don't know if your porn addiction is a partial cause of the problem you experienced. But one thing is sure, you *do* need more experiences like this one (real sex), and less lonely masturbation. I would advise you to continue to lower down a little bit your standards. If you dismiss all the HB6-7 girls, it could be a while until your next girl. There just aren't enough available HB8+ around. On the other hand, if you open up to the 6s and 7s, you will get more girls, which in turn will (1) boost your confidence, (2) make it easier for you to get better looking girls, and (3) take you away from porn. When you can consistently pull some girls home, then you can worry (or not) about higher standards.

Should you contact her?

My impression is that you're not into her, so you just shouldn't. What happens very often is, the guy who is not having regular sex finally gets a girl in bed. Then, rather than going back to lonely jerk offs, he prefers to start fucking the girl regularly. And before he knows it, he's locked in a relationship with her. That's exactly how decent guys end up locked to substandard looking girls. And when the relationship finally ends (one way or another), the guy is completely out of the dating market with no clue about where to begin. Back to square one.

So if you're not into her, you want to avoid that. You would better go back to that bar, and work your magic on another girl. If you have to get locked into a relationship, you want this to be with a girl you actually like. Hopefully your next experience will be better than this one.

Seppuku

 

[NiceGuy110]

NiceGuy,

So I understand that this was your first time? Congrats! Now I think you just were a little unlucky with her body hair. It is far from common issue for a girl to be that hairy while at the same time not doing anything about it. Many girls are just not hairy, and those who are will just shave (although I never met any who was *that* hairy* as you describe).

Now the partial loss of erection, it happens sometimes. We're not machines - to make it work, we must be into it, physically and mentally. Here, you were quite disappointed by her appearance, so not mentally into it. I have had a few experiences like this LOL. When you get my girls mostly from online like me, sometimes you have a few surprises when you discover what she actually looks like in real. I got at least two "fatty surprises" (where she's larger than the pictures implied), and a couple of border line experiences where she didn't look great once you remove the clothes - mostly older women - and still decided to go all the way for the sport, like it would be so impolite not to fuck her. Fortunately this is more than compensated by all the good cases, ending in great sex, so it is definitely worth the effort.

Don't know if your porn addiction is a partial cause of the problem you experienced. But one thing is sure, you *do* need more experiences like this one (real sex), and less lonely masturbation. I would advise you to continue to lower down a little bit your standards. If you dismiss all the HB6-7 girls, it could be a while until your next girl. There just aren't enough available HB8+ around. On the other hand, if you open up to the 6s and 7s, you will get more girls, which in turn will (1) boost your confidence, (2) make it easier for you to get better looking girls, and (3) take you away from porn. When you can consistently pull some girls home, then you can worry (or not) about higher standards.

Should you contact her?

My impression is that you're not into her, so you just shouldn't. What happens very often is, the guy who is not having regular sex finally gets a girl in bed. Then, rather than going back to lonely jerk offs, he prefers to start fucking the girl regularly. And before he knows it, he's locked in a relationship with her. That's exactly how decent guys end up locked to substandard looking girls. And when the relationship finally ends (one way or another), the guy is completely out of the dating market with no clue about where to begin. Back to square one.

So if you're not into her, you want to avoid that. You would better go back to that bar, and work your magic on another girl. If you have to get locked into a relationship, you want this to be with a girl you actually like. Hopefully your next experience will be better than this one.

Seppuku

Thanks Seppuku,

The other issue is that I mightn't be able to cum with a condom on. With the way I currently masturbate, it involves me lying on my side with my cock rubbing against my leg! When I am completely erect, I usually wait for it to go a bit soft before I jerk it to completion. I might try changing the way I masturbate so that when I ejaculate, it's with a full erection. I couldn't never cum the regular way (using the hand)!

 

[Seppuku]

The other issue is that I mightn't be able to cum with a condom on. With the way I currently masturbate, it involves me lying on my side with my cock rubbing against my leg! When I am completely erect, I usually wait for it to go a bit soft before I jerk it to completion. I might try changing the way I masturbate so that when I ejaculate, it's with a full erection. I couldn't never cum the regular way (using the hand)!

Can't help with this, but it shows again that you should get more girls and learn about fucking in real life asap.

About condoms, it becomes easier with more practice. Buy some very thin ones. You may want to try several brands.

If you skip condoms however, you may soon discover that there are diseases other than AIDS, less serious, but much more common, and yet very annoying. Gonorrhea and chlamydia among them. These are often showing no symptoms, so your girl may not even know she has them. When you get the symptoms however, it is very unpleasant - like a burning sensation when you pee. To diagnose it, your doctor may ask to "take a sample" for lab analysis. Some of these "taking samples" consist in having a very thin brush inserted into your urethra, and trust me you won't like it. Once diagnosed, the cure for these is to have an antibiotics. In a few days, the symptoms are gone and you're clean. The worrying news, however, is that there are now some strains of these diseases which have become resistant from the known antibiotics. What happens when the cure doesn't work anymore?

So the morality is, you should learn how to live with these little plastic bags...

Seppuku

 

[NiceGuy110]

Thanks again

The other issue is that I mightn't be able to cum with a condom on. With the way I currently masturbate, it involves me lying on my side with my cock rubbing against my leg! When I am completely erect, I usually wait for it to go a bit soft before I jerk it to completion. I might try changing the way I masturbate so that when I ejaculate, it's with a full erection. I couldn't never cum the regular way (using the hand)!

Can't help with this, but it shows again that you should get more girls and learn about fucking in real life asap.

About condoms, it becomes easier with more practice. Buy some very thin ones. You may want to try several brands.

If you skip condoms however, you may soon discover that there are diseases other than AIDS, less serious, but much more common, and yet very annoying. Gonorrhea and chlamydia among them. These are often showing no symptoms, so your girl may not even know she has them. When you get the symptoms however, it is very unpleasant - like a burning sensation when you pee. To diagnose it, your doctor may ask to "take a sample" for lab analysis. Some of these "taking samples" consist in having a very thin brush inserted into your urethra, and trust me you won't like it. Once diagnosed, the cure for these is to have an antibiotics. In a few days, the symptoms are gone and you're clean. The worrying news, however, is that there are now some strains of these diseases which have become resistant from the known antibiotics. What happens when the cure doesn't work anymore?

So the morality is, you should learn how to live with these little plastic bags...

Seppuku

Well I haven't noticed any burning sensation when I peed, so I hope I'm not asymptomatic. And I haven't taken antibiotics since I was about 6, so it'd be a shame to ruin the very good gut microbiota that I've acquired by this stage.

 

[ResentMasculinity]

sounds like you didn't have any difficulty getting or maintaining your erection during sex, which is common for a lot of guys who are newbies.