So, you're out and about with some friends messing around and doing god knows what, but this one girl met this other awesome girl and they are hanging out. She decides to bring that girl (which happens to be attractive) and you all hang out. What do you do if you want to get this girl into a relationship, especially a sexual one?
A technique that I have been using for some time now is a technique in eye contact. You're set up in this group situation, and lets say y'all are just messing around in someone's room. You want to make something personal and 1 on 1 with a girl, so anything vocal is out of the question, as your friends can hear it. So my solution? Eye contact and touch.
I'd prefer to use examples to explain this, so I'm going to give you a few situations I've been set up in before. This situation is set where we are all in a room just talking about god knows what and having a good time. There's this attractive girl that I just met but I haven't established anything personal yet (I just gave her a neutral hi, I'm Ross and sexy smile, which I basically do with every girl I meet.), and I know I need to. I didn't establish anything personal yet because I had just met her, and it completely slipped my mind to do any sorts of opening. She's across the room, and any demands of compliance at this point like getting her to walk over to you has a low percentage chance of working. So what did I do?
The "interested look"
I really love this look, and girls really seem to be intrigued by it. This is where everyone seems to be engulfed in laughter or conversation, but you don't laugh or contribute long stories - instead, you look off in the distance and look like your thinking (to be fair, I usually am thinking when I do this). More often than not, she'll look at you, especially if she isn't intent on looking at someone else. This is, of course, when you return the gaze with a sexy smile
(add a wink if you're feeling courageous, like I was in this moment).
So, I did what I wanted to do; I isolated her and me into our own separate "conversation" with our eyes. She started out with a chase (showing that she was constantly looking at me and seeing what I was doing) I communicated interest, and she gave me a big smile, returning interest. What happened next?
I'd love to move fast with her, but my logistics were horrible (no where to go to where we'd be alone & it would be seen as sabotaging the night and I would surely be cockblocked), so I chose to extend the escalation window by not skipping a ton of steps. We were going to be around each other for the entire night as it had been planned, so I didn't follow it up. This also can help me in other ways, as I'm:
- Mysterious. She has no clue if I'm just playing around or seriously interested. It's basically indirect direct; she doesn't know for sure, but knows there's something up with me, and she just can't put her finger on it. Immediately opening conversation up and lifting the veil doesn't help me out here.
All that from simple eye contact? Sort of. Think of eye contact as the catalyst; my fundamentals were obviously in effect. But even if she didn't notice you before, she definitely did now, and realizes that you're attractive.
Now we move onto the second part; touch. We had been flirting throughout the night, I established chase framing, a playful dynamic, and didn't lose my seduction frame of mind that often during 3 hours of hanging out and having a good time (we didn't actually do anything.. but it was pretty damn fun). I don't care how smooth you are, it's pretty damn difficult to make zero mistakes during 3 hours of talking, plus it sort of helped me because I noticed at times I was being a bit too high value, so this helped to lower it down a tad.
Maybe you're thinking, "Woah.. 3 hours of hanging out? Dude, you're definitely friend zoned, especially if you had a good time and all you were doing was being playful." That's where touch comes in. Sure, I can eye contact flirt my brains out (not advised to over use this), but touch is much more potent. Physical excitement = touch.
After that eye contact encounter, we (well.. I kind of had a play in this, as I was hungry) decided to go get something to eat. So we all piled into a car, and of course me and this girl sat next to each other.
What did I do? Remember that I wanted to avoid anything that was over the top and extremely noticeable. Anything that slices the sexual tension out is going out the window too.
So great.. Can't move fast, I don't want to cut the sexual tension out, but I want to establish a touch factor so that the sexual tension can ramp up past that level of eye contact which has already been established and cut. Think of sexual tension as increasing layers:
1st level: Sexual tension is nearly nonexistant. You don't know each other at all.
2nd level: Sexual tension makes an appearance. I looked her in the eyes and introduced a sexual dynamic. She wants more of it..
3rd level: Sexual tension is playing a big role. She is craving my touch, and just wishes she could get alone with me. Tension isn't too dangerous here.
4th level: Sexual tension gets dangerous and unstable here. Think of it like a girl alluding that something will happen, but it never does. You get mad at her (or yourself). Auto-rejection is on that thin line where she is going to leave if I don't do something, and fast. This is the turning point where you'll go back to level 1, but if you can realize that the tension is about to burst the passion here is going to be pretty damn unreal. It usually hits this point when you are finally alone together, touch is rampant, and you're just about to do the deed.
So, right now I'm on that 2nd level; things are still safe, but she's interested. I want to go to that 3rd level where she wishes we could get alone.. The touch and talk combo is what I'm going to use here. Conversation seems platonic, but my touch makes things totally different.
Her: (looks at me, and comments) "This is a small car"
Me: "Yeah." (push legs out)
Her: (playful smile at me)
Me: (Looking in her eyes deeply while placing hand on her thigh and sort of leaning in)
At this point, she is looking like a 14 year old boy dumbfounded at the aspect that his favorite model looks like she is about to kiss him. It's sort of like deep diving; I need to come up for air, otherwise the extreme pressure is going to outweigh the positive effect.
Me: (removing hand from thigh) "You're fun, we should definitely hang out sometime."
Her: "We're hanging out right now silly!"
Me: (short chuckle)
Phew.. I was feeling pretty damn smooth at this point, not going to lie. I pretty much took her as far as I could have without anything being way too obvious. In retrospect, using this later on in the interaction and ending it like a crescendo would have been the better option. You'll also notice that I said next to nothing that was suggestive, except for that last bit. Any friends hearing the conversation would just think, wow, they sound like they'll be good friends. But her and I know the truth; even though is sounds platonic and friendly, my eye contact and touch just brings it to a whole new level that makes her excited about me.
I played with warmth and sexual tension with her for the rest of the interaction, and nearly none of it was as powerful as this moment was. She was very open to me probably because of that playful dynamic that I had been using to negate some tension so that I could pile it on again later. No auto-rejection, still a challenge, and life is good.
P.S. If you were curious on how the situation is now:
Using some texting to communicate, the plan is she's going to pick me up and we're going to go get some brunch at a restaurant that's literally right next to her apartment. Any fears of her thinking that I made her open up so easily and I was just some player who was going to pump'n'dump her were lost when I suggested a platonic venue such as a small restaurant so we can talk. Focus is going to be on deep diving and keeping around sexual frames for the duration of however long it takes us to drink some coffee (or OJ for me), and pretty much moving her to her place extremely fast and capitalizing. Hopefully I'm able to get her relaxed enough to enjoy me as her first lover.
A technique that I have been using for some time now is a technique in eye contact. You're set up in this group situation, and lets say y'all are just messing around in someone's room. You want to make something personal and 1 on 1 with a girl, so anything vocal is out of the question, as your friends can hear it. So my solution? Eye contact and touch.
I'd prefer to use examples to explain this, so I'm going to give you a few situations I've been set up in before. This situation is set where we are all in a room just talking about god knows what and having a good time. There's this attractive girl that I just met but I haven't established anything personal yet (I just gave her a neutral hi, I'm Ross and sexy smile, which I basically do with every girl I meet.), and I know I need to. I didn't establish anything personal yet because I had just met her, and it completely slipped my mind to do any sorts of opening. She's across the room, and any demands of compliance at this point like getting her to walk over to you has a low percentage chance of working. So what did I do?
The "interested look"
I really love this look, and girls really seem to be intrigued by it. This is where everyone seems to be engulfed in laughter or conversation, but you don't laugh or contribute long stories - instead, you look off in the distance and look like your thinking (to be fair, I usually am thinking when I do this). More often than not, she'll look at you, especially if she isn't intent on looking at someone else. This is, of course, when you return the gaze with a sexy smile
(add a wink if you're feeling courageous, like I was in this moment). So, I did what I wanted to do; I isolated her and me into our own separate "conversation" with our eyes. She started out with a chase (showing that she was constantly looking at me and seeing what I was doing) I communicated interest, and she gave me a big smile, returning interest. What happened next?
I'd love to move fast with her, but my logistics were horrible (no where to go to where we'd be alone & it would be seen as sabotaging the night and I would surely be cockblocked), so I chose to extend the escalation window by not skipping a ton of steps. We were going to be around each other for the entire night as it had been planned, so I didn't follow it up. This also can help me in other ways, as I'm:
- Mysterious. She has no clue if I'm just playing around or seriously interested. It's basically indirect direct; she doesn't know for sure, but knows there's something up with me, and she just can't put her finger on it. Immediately opening conversation up and lifting the veil doesn't help me out here.
All that from simple eye contact? Sort of. Think of eye contact as the catalyst; my fundamentals were obviously in effect. But even if she didn't notice you before, she definitely did now, and realizes that you're attractive.
Now we move onto the second part; touch. We had been flirting throughout the night, I established chase framing, a playful dynamic, and didn't lose my seduction frame of mind that often during 3 hours of hanging out and having a good time (we didn't actually do anything.. but it was pretty damn fun). I don't care how smooth you are, it's pretty damn difficult to make zero mistakes during 3 hours of talking, plus it sort of helped me because I noticed at times I was being a bit too high value, so this helped to lower it down a tad.
Maybe you're thinking, "Woah.. 3 hours of hanging out? Dude, you're definitely friend zoned, especially if you had a good time and all you were doing was being playful." That's where touch comes in. Sure, I can eye contact flirt my brains out (not advised to over use this), but touch is much more potent. Physical excitement = touch.
After that eye contact encounter, we (well.. I kind of had a play in this, as I was hungry) decided to go get something to eat. So we all piled into a car, and of course me and this girl sat next to each other.
What did I do? Remember that I wanted to avoid anything that was over the top and extremely noticeable. Anything that slices the sexual tension out is going out the window too.
So great.. Can't move fast, I don't want to cut the sexual tension out, but I want to establish a touch factor so that the sexual tension can ramp up past that level of eye contact which has already been established and cut. Think of sexual tension as increasing layers:
1st level: Sexual tension is nearly nonexistant. You don't know each other at all.
2nd level: Sexual tension makes an appearance. I looked her in the eyes and introduced a sexual dynamic. She wants more of it..
3rd level: Sexual tension is playing a big role. She is craving my touch, and just wishes she could get alone with me. Tension isn't too dangerous here.
4th level: Sexual tension gets dangerous and unstable here. Think of it like a girl alluding that something will happen, but it never does. You get mad at her (or yourself). Auto-rejection is on that thin line where she is going to leave if I don't do something, and fast. This is the turning point where you'll go back to level 1, but if you can realize that the tension is about to burst the passion here is going to be pretty damn unreal. It usually hits this point when you are finally alone together, touch is rampant, and you're just about to do the deed.
So, right now I'm on that 2nd level; things are still safe, but she's interested. I want to go to that 3rd level where she wishes we could get alone.. The touch and talk combo is what I'm going to use here. Conversation seems platonic, but my touch makes things totally different.
Her: (looks at me, and comments) "This is a small car"
Me: "Yeah." (push legs out)
Her: (playful smile at me)
Me: (Looking in her eyes deeply while placing hand on her thigh and sort of leaning in)
At this point, she is looking like a 14 year old boy dumbfounded at the aspect that his favorite model looks like she is about to kiss him. It's sort of like deep diving; I need to come up for air, otherwise the extreme pressure is going to outweigh the positive effect.
Me: (removing hand from thigh) "You're fun, we should definitely hang out sometime."
Her: "We're hanging out right now silly!"
Me: (short chuckle)
Phew.. I was feeling pretty damn smooth at this point, not going to lie. I pretty much took her as far as I could have without anything being way too obvious. In retrospect, using this later on in the interaction and ending it like a crescendo would have been the better option. You'll also notice that I said next to nothing that was suggestive, except for that last bit. Any friends hearing the conversation would just think, wow, they sound like they'll be good friends. But her and I know the truth; even though is sounds platonic and friendly, my eye contact and touch just brings it to a whole new level that makes her excited about me.
I played with warmth and sexual tension with her for the rest of the interaction, and nearly none of it was as powerful as this moment was. She was very open to me probably because of that playful dynamic that I had been using to negate some tension so that I could pile it on again later. No auto-rejection, still a challenge, and life is good.
P.S. If you were curious on how the situation is now:
Using some texting to communicate, the plan is she's going to pick me up and we're going to go get some brunch at a restaurant that's literally right next to her apartment. Any fears of her thinking that I made her open up so easily and I was just some player who was going to pump'n'dump her were lost when I suggested a platonic venue such as a small restaurant so we can talk. Focus is going to be on deep diving and keeping around sexual frames for the duration of however long it takes us to drink some coffee (or OJ for me), and pretty much moving her to her place extremely fast and capitalizing. Hopefully I'm able to get her relaxed enough to enjoy me as her first lover.
