Facebook add from girls

[RDawg]

Hey guys, hope all is well! This situation came across me 2 weeks ago and it happened again today, so I thought it would be worth mentioning. 2 girls recently added me on facebook (one today and the other 2 weeks ago)(Also, happened to me a few months ago with a few other girls but I never messaged, nor did they message me; nothing happened basically). Both are decent looking girls. We have many mutual friends in common but never formally met these girls. I might of seen them out on the odd occasion at a bar or club. The thing, is it worth messaging these girls to set a date up over facebook. I accepted both of there friend requests but the question should I message or does that turn into chasing on my part. If I do message them should i act like I know them for a long time or should i wait to see them out, which who knows when that will be. Anyways, just wondering what you guys would do in this situation. I think id be able to grab these girls numbers and set a date up but i'd think they would maybe flake because there is no prior interaction.

I think best case scenario would be they message me, but the first never girl never did(she probably wanted but got nervous or something).

 

[Chase]

RDawg-

I would message them before accepting the friend request: "Hey! Thanks for the ad. Do we know each other yet and I've just forgotten, or do we have yet to get to know each other and that's why you've added me? "

And then when they come back and say they've yet to get to know you, you simply reply with "Oh! Okay. Well, I insist on at least meeting all my Facebook friends in person before we can be Facebook friends - shall we grab a bite or a drink sometime in the next week or so?"

So long as that Facebook friend request is still pending, they are in a chasing position, and that's let you say "here are my requirements for us being friends on Facebook - for us to meet!" which gives them an easy excuse to meet up with you.

If you ask them after you've already accepted them, it's more on neutral territory, and it's also a little strange that if that's what you wanted, you asked them after already interacting with them first (accepting their friend request).

As you've already accepted the friend requests, it will be chasing a bit for you to message them first. If you wait and they message you, that's okay. But they're not likely to do that since they've already made their moves. You can send them something, but whatever it is is going to come across a bit weaker.

A better bet might be organizing a party and throwing a link up on Facebook and inviting these girls to come now that you have their info. That'll start the dialogue from a high value angle, and even if the party gets canceled you can still ask them if they want to meet up one-on-one anyway.

Chase

 

[RDawg]

- Chase

Thanks for the advice! Much appreciated! This is great! I never thought of messaging them before accepting there friend request. I always thought messaging them after accepting there friend request was a bit weird and odd.

Interesting idea with the party and I think it's a great idea but the only question I have about the party is that "Would the girl/girls think it's to random to come?". Since, we don't personally know each other. I know some of my friends are friends with her, which might convince her that it's less random and put her in a position that is more comfortable to come (that's if her friends decide to come). Lastly, in terms of inviting these girls, if the party did get canceled, are you suggesting messaging them "personally"?

Hope you can clarify!

Thanks

-Rdawg

 

[BarryS1]

This post came at a good time! I re-activated my facebook and got a random add from a girl with mutual friends.

Great post Chase!

 

[Chase]

RDawg-

Interesting idea with the party and I think it's a great idea but the only question I have about the party is that "Would the girl/girls think it's to random to come?". Since, we don't personally know each other. I know some of my friends are friends with her, which might convince her that it's less random and put her in a position that is more comfortable to come (that's if her friends decide to come). Lastly, in terms of inviting these girls, if the party did get canceled, are you suggesting messaging them "personally"?

Just frame it as reciprocation: "Hey, since you added me on Facebook, time for me to return the favor. Some of my buddies are throwing an AWESOME party at XYZ; I don't know if you know Jason and Steve, but they throw the BEST parties at ABC, and they're always really hard to get into. Anyway, since I don't think we've actually met in person yet (have we?) but we're already Facebook friends, we have to do it. Down to come? It's this Saturday at 10 PM - send me your number or shoot me a text and I'll let you know as soon as they have the location settled on. 555-555-5555 -RDawg"

Half the time when you do this, women won't even want to go to the party, they'll just say, "I can't make it, but here's my number." The other half, if it's canceled, just text them and tell them it didn't go through, but you'd still be down to grab a bite or a drink with them, or you can always meet up later when there's another party. At that point they'll let you know whether their interest in you is platonic or otherwise - if they say, "Yeah, let's do a party!" they just want to party; if it's, "Okay, we can get a bite some time!" then they're at least curious to find out if they might like you or not.

Chase

 

[RDawg]

- Chase

Perfect! Thanks for clarifying Chase!

- Rdawg

 

[RDawg]

Hey Chase

Kind of in an odd situation with a girl from a couple weeks ago. I followed your steps here when a cute girl added me, got a rather different response though. Wasn't initially going to post this because, well I'm talking to many more girls and this seems like a low probability of anything happening with this girl. I'd rather be out meeting girls. Anyways, just hoping if you have any time that you could analyze what happened here. Note: the friend request is still currently pending and it's been like 3 weeks.

Me:Hey! Thanks for the add. Do we know each other yet and I've just forgotten, or do we have yet to get to know each other and that's why you've added me?
Tuesday 12:57am
Her:I don't even remember adding you oh my
Tuesday 7:25pm
Me:Oh! Okay. Well, I insist on at least meeting all my Facebook friends in person before we can be Facebook friends - shall we grab a bite or a drink sometime in the next week or so?
Her:Well that was bold .
Her:In a good way
Me:You're the bold one for adding me
Tuesday 10:22pm
Her: Hahah
Tuesday 11:28pm
Me:Well, since you are very bold You can send me your # or shoot me a text with your schedule and we can set something up. *** *** **** - Rdawg

- Rdawg