Facebook and "sharing love songs" during tough times, when you lost a girl?

[Kallin]

I want to know is it a good idea to share love and passionate songs on my facebook wall, till I'm at moment of struggling to get one girl back, and I read all stuff here, including: "How to Get a girl back"

Story in short:

She has ultimate attraction for me at the begining, I make her feel unwanted, she get cold for one month, regardless of that in our second date we have sex very fast, but she continue to feel unsure in me. I was confused, she try a few times to connect with me, but I was thinking that she just testing me, and this mess-up things even more. We saw eachother a few times after that at some partys, but she resist on my escalations, smiles but push me back, dont wanted to be kissed by me, etc... It's aways the same - at first she is on "auto-rejection" than I try to help her a little to relate to me, than I go for her, and she smiles, but resist and she don't want to giving to me, etc.
I'm persistent but I dont want to rape her too, and why to be so persistent, as we both know that we was intimate and had sex before, and everything was good...
When I mentioned to her about the way we kissed before, she get tears in her eyes immediately...
I can see in her eyes and body language that she still want me.. or she is the best actress in the world, becаuse she told to me that She cannot return my feelings!

For her I think I'm something like this:
"the guy who's too much of a bad boy is going to find that women are distrustful of him and may at times not go to bed with him as quickly as he'd like, or not want to engage in a relationship with him because he feels unsafe"

She is sensitive and romantic type girl, not more than 3-4 partners before me - easy get upset(crying) e.tc.

During all the time she shares a love songs on her wall that describe very well the story between us. Yes I know she may share this songs about some other guy, and I stay away form this "songs-games-on-facebook". Is this wrong?
I think it's not the best idea and I share very rarely, but when I share, she share right away...

After she told me that she cannot return my feelings, I leave her again for a week, and in our facebook walls was silence.
Than I go crazy and upload 3 love songs in a row on my wall, and because she told me this "about feelings" I expected that the silence from her will continue, or may be she will put some "rejecting songs", or nothing at all, as an answer to me.
The next day she share 12 positive meaning songs, about love and sex, describing very well this between us...

What do you think is it OK for me at this situation, to share a love songs on my wall describing my feelings and by doing this to help her to be more shure in me, and after 1-2 weeks to go to see her in real again... OR to wait and rely only what happen when we meet, but becouse she is not warm to me now, this is dificult to see her every time I want!

 

[Oskar]

Hey Kallin, I've never heard of people using Facebook in this way, but I can't imagine it being anything but counterproductive to a seduction. You want to inspire intrigue, and intrigue comes from her not being able to predict what you're thinking or going to do. This facebook sharing game seems like a way for her to get you to emotionally invest more in her -- boosting her ego while not risking her reputation by being around a rakish young man like I assume you to be (remember, a girl's value is more intimately tied to the quality of mate she chooses than a boys is and society encourages girls to repress their glorious sexuality much more than it does men's).The mystery is reduced when she knows how you are feeling, and it also indicates that you don't have other options. What capacity do you want this girl in? Are you trying to make her your girlfriend, or perhaps a fuck buddy? Each one requires different approaches to expectation setting. The fact that you're asking if you should share love songs indicates that you already intuit what the answer is: you should not. From what you say it sounds like it would be prudent to disengage -- at the very least keep online communication to a bare minimum -- that is, unless you are looking to join her fan club. If I were to guess why she is spurning your advances even after you've slept together it would be a combination of A) the sex wasn't good enough (only 50% of men can be above average), B) She sees you as threatening to her reputation as you aren't socially calibrated enough so is keeping you at a distance, even though she may "like" you C) she doesn't see you as a sexual enough man, D) she isn't looking for anything long term with you for some reason largely outside of your control, E) You failed to lead her well so her attraction has dropped off, F) She's moved onto another guy, presently feeling that she "has" you, so pushing you to the wings, as you have communicated to her that you're not going anywhere.

The solution to all of these problems is simple: go seduce other girls and focus on getting better with giving them what they want, which, since you're on this site, I'd imagine you're already doing It sounds like you are young, and the power of knowing what you want (specifically) is something few young people have. And it can be an intoxicating power... One that draws people to you. So make sure you know what kind of relationship you want and then communicate that to her. And if she doesn't want the same thing as you and you are clear with your intent, congratulations, you've just saved yourself a whole lot of time and emotional anguish, time better spent seducing new, more promising prospects

Oh, and don't play games on facebook (or anywhere else for that matter), as that's almost always reaction seeking. And as Chase so wisely puts it: reactions don't equal results.

Cheers,
Oskar

 

[Kallin]

A) the sex wasn't good enough (only 50% of men can be above average), C) she doesn't see you as a sexual enough man, D) she isn't looking for anything long term with you for some reason,

About A, Yes the first time wasn't good enough, but after 10 days of "up and downs" in our communication (I was out of the city), we argue one night through sms, and she told me that I write to her very rarely. And I was writen rarely because when I write she doesn't respond right away, and thats OK for her. But in the same time if I don't respond to her SMS imadietely - she go crazy! And blowing my phone!
So we saw after 10 days, she was in "Auto-rejection" mode at the begining, then calm down... after that get upset, after that told me she like me very much, but I wasn't giving her enough attention from the begining(first date), than start crying a little, and I couldn't resist to see her that way, grab her, and we start kissing so passionately that I've never feel a girl to kiss me that way... neither I was kissing a girl that way too (I was kissing so many girls in the past years, and has 3 LTRs, and has sex with many girls when I was free) So I can see the difference between her and the other girls I had before, no one act like this one...
That night we had no sex, she was in menstrual, we go to bed after 2 haurs of kissing and talking, and we were horny... and I give her a little rub with my fingers, and she has a few orgasam, which I can describe it like this - her body was shaking as it was an earthquake in the bed (I've never seen this before too), and I don't doing nothing diferent from what I was doing to so many girls before with my fingers...

So after you know this it's hard to belive in C) she doesn't see me as a sexual enough man,

But at the morning after that night I left her, without waking her up, and I go to my house to get some sleep, turn of my phone, she was searching me many times, writing me why I left her so early... what's happen... where I'm... If I wasn't blocked her on my phone... She was calling me from other phone number to be shure that I'm not bloking her phone... e.t.c.
A girls that doesn't see you as sexual enough don't doing this, rather, she was scared that I could left her As I did few times from the very beginning (our first seeing)

And I think that D) she isn't looking for anything long term with you for some reason
I dont Know may be some other reason? I dont Know why I lose her, exactly

And I think she doesn't believe in my feelings for her, and she is not shure, and may be scared that if she giving to me I will left her!
She is very jealous, vulnerable, crying a lot...
in the same time I'm good looking and sexy, (as women says) and I know that with this one I overreacted with bad boy atitude from the very begining, I understand it form reading articles here, and not giving her the attention she needs(from the start)

And if you go to her facebook wall now, you can see songs, and pictures with messages on them, that she is -- upset, broken, hurted, desperate etc.
And if I call her right now guess waht - she doesnt pick up the phone

 

[Franco]

Kallin,

I didn't read your entire post, but I get the feeling I probably don't have to in order to give you the advice I'm about to give you: by no means should you ever use Facebook to attempt to leverage a relationship with a girl by any means.

Anything you do on Facebook will be seen as weak and pre-meditated. This will only further send you into the abyss when you are trying to gain or re-gain the attraction of a girl. Girls post songs on their Facebook knowing that specific guys might see it, but that is exactly what makes it a deadly trap. If she knows you are checking it, then she knows she has you chasing her already and you can kiss your opportunities goodbye.

In general, songs and lyrics about love and relationships are meant for women. They are emotional creatures, and songs and lyrics can sometimes make them feel like their emotional states are validated because they can share it with the music -- but if you're a man, and especially a man who understands women well, then you also know that songs are only a way to dictate the emotions of emotional women or weak men. Remember, strong men don't use songs to validate their love of women; they simply express it exactly the way women really want them to express it: by giving it to them in person.

So if at any point you ever feel you need to use Facebook to leverage a situation with a woman, police your thoughts right then and there and remember that Facebook will gain you nothing and possibly lose you everything with one or more girls.

- Franco

 

[Kallin]

Thank for the advice, I think the same way... But at this moment Facebook seem to be my only instrument to communicate with her... So, as you know a little of my story, and if you want to - give me some advise what the fuck to post on my wall, Before I falling for her I posted rarely some cool songs that I've listened through the day, or I've posted from YouTube videos about my passions (motorsport, motocross), or something funny...
But i know that she checking my profile, and react of what I'm doing... So, right now I even dont Log-in there.

I will tell you what I think, right now... If I start posting some motocross videos, or something funny, she will go to conclusion that maybe I don't want her anymore... I'm shure about that If I put some song that I hear on radio, and I like it, I know she will analyse every single word in this song... and the songs, in generaly most of them are about "the love", one way or another.

In the same time it's not good when she check my profile, to see that I dont't even exist in facebook

 

[Franco]

Kallin,

I will tell you what I think, right now... If I start posting some motocross videos, or something funny, she will go to conclusion that maybe I don't want her anymore...

I think you're jumping to a conclusion here. You can post whatever you want to on your Facebook wall -- just because you post something completely unrelated to your relationship with her doesn't mean that she'll think that you don't want her anymore. But at the same time, you don't want to be communicating that you "want" her when she's not letting you "have" her, which is what you would be doing if you posted song lyrics about your relationship with her. That is chasing.

In reality, what you actually need to do is to get her alone with you, whether that be on a "date" type location (such as for coffee) or over at your place (which is preferred). Your best from here is to attempt to sleep with her again while carefully listening to her and taking care of her emotions. If you ask her directly to spend time with you, then she knows what you want, and it's her decision from there as to whether or not she wants to do it. If she doesn't, then your best bet is to actually ignore her and begin to see other women. She needs to feel like she had a legitimate chance to be with you again but then overstepped her boundaries by not accepting your offer.

My advice would be to make an attempt (or two) to get her to spend time with you. If she refuses, then you need to stop contacting her until she contacts you to hang out. Avoid using Facebook for anything related to the situation.

- Franco

 

[Kallin]

Avoid using Facebook for anything related to the situation.

- Franco

I will follow your advice, Franco
Thank you!
All I wanted to know is how to use facebook in situation like this, thanks again

About meeting her in person...
I know(after reading articles here), what to do when I'm in person with her, the problem is that this is the biggest problem to get her in person
And I'm shure no one can help here, except myself... This is something that i have to do on my own