Hey, I'd love to hear opinions on some recent Facebook-related "drama"...
PAST HISTORY:
There's this girl in my social circle that I'm seeing like once a week. I flirted with her quite a bit like 2 months back when she was new. She had a boyfriend, but one night after a few drinks we stayed late just the two of us after everyone left, talked a lot, touched, kissed a bit. Couple days later when I saw her and tried to kiss her again, she admitted that she liked me but was really serious about her boyfriend, living with him etc. I think she is quite innocent in this regard and I noticed how she was being a bit more careful around me, not drinking that day etc., so I figured I better leave it be.
RECENT DEVELOPMENT:
Well, recently she tried to add me on Facebook, but somehow I didn't accept it right away and then I was gone for a couple days not really being online. When I came back, she messaged me about something, which I'm pretty sure was just about getting my attention because when I responded she totally dismissed the conversation and instead messaged me back with:
HER: pffff, I'm cancelling the friend request, I hope you know that!
ME: *angel face*
HER: One day when you want to add me, you're going to have to ask me pretty please ... And I'll leave it unanswered for 3 days anyway
ME: *her name*, I was gone the whole weekend and I wasn't on Facebook. But alright, maybe I will ask you pretty please one day... but we'll see about that
HER: I'm not falling for excuses like that!
ME: Haha, ok
She used a lot of smilie faces, but knowing her, I think she was just trying to act aloof and it actually really got to her. She's quite sensitive and maybe a bit insecure about some things and this isn't her first time overreacting about something.
When I briefly saw her a few days later, I told her to come to me and asked her what was all that about. She got all red and tried to say she was just making fun of me with those messages. I said:
"Really? I imagine it this way: You weren't sure if you should add me, but in the end you did. Then the next day you saw I still haven't accepted your request, so you began stressing out. You kept checking, but I still haven't accepted your request, not even the next day, so you began stressing out even more. Then you decided to make up some question to message me with to see if I'm actually there. Then I responded to you, so you figured I must be some huge asshole and decided that the only solution is to cancel everything right away."
To which she laughed and admitted to pretty much all of that. I said:
"Hey, if I knew it'd mess up your whole weekend, I'd add you ASAP!". After that I told her that I don't really care too much about FB but if it's important to her and she wants to add me, then I don't really mind. At that point another mutual girl friend came by, probably overhearing something and she tried to turn it around on me, saying that now I'm the one who wants to add her and started explaining to the other girl what happened. Well, I let her go after that and went to get lunch with the other girl.
I'm really, really not trying to pursue anything with this girl at the moment (I don't think it'd be such a great idea) and I AM seeing other girls. Also I couldn't care less about actually having her on Facebook. But I do admit that I kinda like her and I know she was attracted to me too (at least until recently). So I'd really prefer not to shoot myself in the foot here to keep my options with her open for the future.
What I'm not so sure about:
1) Did she auto-reject on me? Or is this somehow even good for me (her thinking about it so much etc.)? Or just not a big deal either way (more so that I don't see myself really doing anything with her for at least some months and probably longer)? Thoughts on what I should do now?
2) In general, is asking her about it (or about similar things that happen) like I did chasing/bad? Or is it ok as long as I don't look like I care about it myself and more like I'm trying to understand her?
PAST HISTORY:
There's this girl in my social circle that I'm seeing like once a week. I flirted with her quite a bit like 2 months back when she was new. She had a boyfriend, but one night after a few drinks we stayed late just the two of us after everyone left, talked a lot, touched, kissed a bit. Couple days later when I saw her and tried to kiss her again, she admitted that she liked me but was really serious about her boyfriend, living with him etc. I think she is quite innocent in this regard and I noticed how she was being a bit more careful around me, not drinking that day etc., so I figured I better leave it be.
RECENT DEVELOPMENT:
Well, recently she tried to add me on Facebook, but somehow I didn't accept it right away and then I was gone for a couple days not really being online. When I came back, she messaged me about something, which I'm pretty sure was just about getting my attention because when I responded she totally dismissed the conversation and instead messaged me back with:
HER: pffff, I'm cancelling the friend request, I hope you know that!
ME: *angel face*
HER: One day when you want to add me, you're going to have to ask me pretty please
... And I'll leave it unanswered for 3 days anyway ME: *her name*, I was gone the whole weekend and I wasn't on Facebook.
But alright, maybe I will ask you pretty please one day... but we'll see about that HER: I'm not falling for excuses like that!
ME: Haha, ok
She used a lot of smilie faces, but knowing her, I think she was just trying to act aloof and it actually really got to her. She's quite sensitive and maybe a bit insecure about some things and this isn't her first time overreacting about something.
When I briefly saw her a few days later, I told her to come to me and asked her what was all that about. She got all red and tried to say she was just making fun of me with those messages. I said:
"Really? I imagine it this way: You weren't sure if you should add me, but in the end you did. Then the next day you saw I still haven't accepted your request, so you began stressing out. You kept checking, but I still haven't accepted your request, not even the next day, so you began stressing out even more. Then you decided to make up some question to message me with to see if I'm actually there. Then I responded to you, so you figured I must be some huge asshole and decided that the only solution is to cancel everything right away."
To which she laughed and admitted to pretty much all of that. I said:
"Hey, if I knew it'd mess up your whole weekend, I'd add you ASAP!". After that I told her that I don't really care too much about FB but if it's important to her and she wants to add me, then I don't really mind. At that point another mutual girl friend came by, probably overhearing something and she tried to turn it around on me, saying that now I'm the one who wants to add her and started explaining to the other girl what happened. Well, I let her go after that and went to get lunch with the other girl.
I'm really, really not trying to pursue anything with this girl at the moment (I don't think it'd be such a great idea) and I AM seeing other girls. Also I couldn't care less about actually having her on Facebook. But I do admit that I kinda like her and I know she was attracted to me too (at least until recently). So I'd really prefer not to shoot myself in the foot here to keep my options with her open for the future.
What I'm not so sure about:
1) Did she auto-reject on me? Or is this somehow even good for me (her thinking about it so much etc.)? Or just not a big deal either way (more so that I don't see myself really doing anything with her for at least some months and probably longer)? Thoughts on what I should do now?
2) In general, is asking her about it (or about similar things that happen) like I did chasing/bad? Or is it ok as long as I don't look like I care about it myself and more like I'm trying to understand her?
