Facts on age-gap relationships

[DonGately]

2022 Ipsos Survey of Americans:
"A sizeable portion of American adults have engaged in age-gap dating:
Nearly four in ten (39%) have previously dated someone with an age difference of 10+ years.
Men are more likely to have dated someone 10+ years younger than them compared to women (25% vs. 14%). Meanwhile, women are more likely to have dated someone 10+ years older than them compared to men (28% vs. 21%).

Many single Americans are open to age-gap dating, with 57% saying they would be open to dating someone 10+ years older than them and 49% saying they would be open to dating someone 10+ years younger than them. Six in ten (60%) Americans believe it is acceptable for a woman to date someone 10+ years younger than her, while 71% believe it is acceptable for a man to date someone 10+ years younger than him."

So, the 28% above fits with what I said previously about having dated older men. And a majority willing to date older men.

2013 American Community Survey: 20% of re-marriages the wife is 10+ years younger than the man. 13% of women's re-marriages are to a husband 10+ years older. 40% of all hetero marriages are re-marriages.

2017 US Current Population Survey: 7.6% of marriages the husband is 10+ years older. That's about ~5mm hetero marriages.
[~8% is consistent across Western countries.]

With those marriage rates it's not hard to add those facts to the top survey and find my estimate that 20-30% of younger women prefer dating older men, even if they don't want to marry them, was correct. And also that a majority of women are open to it.



All sources cited in the above text.

 

[ulrich]

I’ve dated women 10+ years younger than me.

One of the surprising things I noticed is how women went out of their way to dispel the dissimilarity of the situation.
I would do jokes like “I could be your father” or “how does it feel to date a guy double your age?” and they would responde with “it’s not my first time” or “it’s actually not important once you’re past 18”.

Yeah, those women were probably a small subset… but not harder at all from your regular girl.
(Actually 30+ women are harder, they always want guys to be “serious”)

 

[DonGately]

I’ve dated women 10+ years younger than me.
... “it’s actually not important once you’re past 18”.

(Actually 30+ women are harder, they always want guys to be “serious”

If they're willing to meet for a drink, they honestly don't give a crap, even if there's no 'preference' btw older and same age. I've only met them in bigger cities, but many of them are from smaller towns as the above was.

If they cared they wouldn't meet up in the first place.

 

[ulrich]

If they're willing to meet for a drink, they honestly don't give a crap, even if there's no 'preference' btw older and same age. I've only met them in bigger cities, but many of them are from smaller towns as the above was.

If they cared they wouldn't meet up in the first place.

Yeah, that’s true.

I mean, I was expecting to do some kind of relatability control for the age difference… but nope, none, zip is needed.

 

[Chase]

I’ve dated women 10+ years younger than me.

One of the surprising things I noticed is how women went out of their way to dispel the dissimilarity of the situation.
I would do jokes like “I could be your father” or “how does it feel to date a guy double your age?” and they would responde with “it’s not my first time” or “it’s actually not important once you’re past 18”.

Yeah, those women were probably a small subset… but not harder at all from your regular girl.

Yes, on this, one of the keys is to be the first one to bring up age. The person who brings it up is the one controlling the frame.

Then you have conversations like this:

HER: blah blah blah​

YOU: How old are you?​

HER: I'm 19.​

YOU: OMG... you're a baby!​

HER: [laughs] I am not! Everyone says I'm very mature for my age!​

Now she's qualifying herself to you, trying to prove "how mature" she is.

It's all in the frame. Guys who get it wrong try to qualify themselves as still hip and younger. Guys who own the age frame get the girl to qualify herself as actually more mature, not a baby, experienced in life, etc.

(Actually 30+ women are harder, they always want guys to be “serious”)

There are definitely some chill 30+ chicks who are down to flirt, laugh, and have a good time.

The abundance of overly-serious over-30 chicks though has always struck me as a bit of a mystery as well.

I halfway think most of the cool chicks got married earlier and it's just a bunch of lame humorless women left on the market post-30... the other half of me just thinks the biological clock is ticking so loud in their ears it makes it impossible for them to hear your jokes properly.

Chase

 

[DoWhatWorks]

the biological clock is ticking so loud in their ears it makes it impossible for them to hear your jokes properly.

LOL this might be the rudest yet funniest thing I've read on this forum all year

 

[Warped Mindless]

Is forum is weirdly obsessed with age.

How soon before people start asking how to seduce their AI companion on their phone?

No but really… if you are reading this forum, age is not a problem for you. Go work on your fundamentals.

 

[Rain]

Yes, on this, one of the keys is to be the first one to bring up age. The person who brings it up is the one controlling the frame.

Then you have conversations like this:

HER: blah blah blahYOU: How old are you?HER: I'm 19.YOU: OMG... you're a baby!HER: [laughs] I am not! Everyone says I'm very mature for my age!
Now she's qualifying herself to you, trying to prove "how mature" she is.

It's all in the frame. Guys who get it wrong try to qualify themselves as still hip and younger. Guys who own the age frame get the girl to qualify herself as actually more mature, not a baby, experienced in life, etc.

Is this best done fairly early on in the conversation, before the hook point or after the hook point?

But also, not the first thing you transition to after the opener?