- Joined
- Dec 30, 2019
- Messages
- 233
Cold approach (Sat 311020)
On this Saturday afternoon outing, I did 15 approaches. This was probably the 7th-8th approach of this outing. So once again it's my same beginner friendly daygame circuit where there are plenty of stationary girls and I was also approaching here just the day before.
So I get to the a very wide underground air conditioned area where there are many pillars and many people leaning on these pillars while waiting for their friends to meet them.
I see J standing and waiting while leaning on one of these pillars that has a sign stuck high up on the pillar that says "do not wait here"
I do a direct walk-up approach and as I am walking towards her and begin to wave at her she's concurrently looking up at the sign above her head and she makes eye contact with me and before I can say a word she just starts walking off to the opposite end of this wide waiting area completely ignoring me. I thought to myself ok that was not good but keep my thinking positive and try to laugh it off
I stand around and chill out and then 10 mins later:
I see J standing and leaning on a different pillar in the other end of this wide waiting area and I decide to be persistent and I walk up to her prepared to do some direct opener and just explain what I'm doing to her.
This time she actually takes her earphones out and we start to have a conversation and we talk about some boring stuff and she told me that she initially thought I was some covid safe-distancing officer trying to enforce rules and that's why she walked away from me.
I can't quite remember how I got her number but we sort of had some kind of a 5-10 minute long conversation and I suggested we meet up again some other time and she said ok.
Texting
The girl
I'm not sure exactly how old this girl is but she told me she is about 15 years older than 25 years old (what I told her my age is) so she's somewhere around 40 years old.
She's quite cute though I would say that she's somewhere around a 6-7 out of 10. She's from a city that is about an hour's flight away from my city, though her whole family moved over to my city and she came along with them ever since 4 years ago.
She's worked in the construction industry doing sales and she's been doing this for a long time.
Her English is not the best but it is decent enough for both of us to have a conversation. Her 1st language is my 2nd langauge so anything that she can't express in English I could always use her 1st language to comm with her
So apparently she believes in ghosts, dislikes going shopping, dislikes dressing up and putting makeup. She said she'd rather sit down and eat food than go out shopping and dress up. She came on out date in a Jeans and some form a causual jumper which I personally really like.
She sort of does drink alcohol and sometimes she does get quite busy over the phone as her boss texts her like 15 hours a day.
Apparently, from what I heard, she has one other brother in her family, though I never asked her and she didn't talk about her relationship status. It was interesting that the lock screen of her phone had a picture of a man and 2 kids with no woman in the picture. I decided not to ask her about this observation and continue the seduction as though she's single.
Logistics
Location (It's always the same): A cluster of three vertical air-conditioned malls that are connected to each other on the ground floor, wide and busy underground pathways, and link bridges on the upper floors. There are rooftops, quiet coffee shops, garages located across these 3 malls Seduction location: One of these 3 malls is quieter than the rest. I park my car in a very secluded parking lot in the carpark that is located at the top of this quieter mall
My date-and-pull process is: Move her around as much as possible throughout the date and try to build compliance but don't wait too long to pull. Usually there aren't many interesting places to take my dates on in the mall above which I've parked my car so the pull usually involves bringing her from a different mall into the one above which I've parked my car.
The rest of this paragraph still describes a public space: Then we'll walk to a lift lobby that can be accessed from any floor of that mall. Take the lift up to the carpark. Make quite a quiet walk to my car. I.e. past many empty parking lots because I've picked the one right at the corner of the building's architecture. I'll turn on my engine. And get her to sit in the back with me
The car itself: I've got sunshades and ways of preventing people from seeing into my car more or less 90% so the only giveaway would be some form of springing up and down of the car on its wheels which is not a problem given the parking lot is very secluded.
I may come up with some kind of backup logistic where I can lead a girl to a private hallway or stairwell. But for now, that does not exist. It's the car or nothing.
About me
I am a 21/22 year old virgin.
At the time of my posting of this field report, it has been almost 7 months since I started going out regularly to do cold approach. I've never gone out to do night game thus far since that 7 month start mark.
Mainly because nightclubs and bars are still closed/safe-distancing. So far it has purely been daygame for me
U can check out my current journal at: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/ys-journal-revamped.23563/
... where I document more of my learning process and commitment
This is the 12th girl I've gone on a date with from cold approach (all first dates and so far I haven't even bothered asking for 2nd dates) and the 5th time I've gotten a girl into the backseat of my car (counting from the 1st time when I had the above logistics). I managed to get FR++s to the backseat of my car on my 2nd, 7th, 8th, and 11th dates in addition to this time.
What I tell my dates my identity is (100% false):
I use my real name but say I'm a small-time 25 year old actor who teaches acting at a small time studio. I was initially in college studying science but then dropped out of college cos I'm too dumb for it.
I actually live with my parents but what I tell my dates is that I share a flat with 2 other roommates (where I have my own room), whom I also share my car with.
The date (Mon 021120) (Duration: 4hrs 20 mins. Before seduction location: 2hrs 40 mins. At seduction location: 1hrs 40 mins.)
Everything pre-seduction location (Duration from meet-up time to back seat of my car was 2hrs 40mins. )
Here I'm just going to give a short summary of what kind of conversation we had because I don't think I learnt very much that's worth documenting.
We met on the first floor of one of the malls, crossed the street to get noodles (she actually pays for my food), sat down and chatted and actually had quite a fun conversation, no deep diving though cos I'm not really good at that (something I'll work on in the future). It felt like she wanted to stay at the eating place to talk to me more there because she was having fun.
I ask her whether she drinks alcohol and she said yes so I bounced her to a bar on the rooftop of one of the malls and had my 2nd experience on a bar date. Once again, no deep diving, but we have a fun conversation where we are actually sharing cool experiences and relating. We wrap up at the bar before even finishing the first drink and she goes to the bathroom while I settle the bill since she settled the earlier one.
She agreed to let me drive her home and I just told her that I needed to buy breakfast for the next day so I just got her to accompany me to the supermarket, I bought what I needed to buy, and I used the bathroom (don't want to have to leave the car to take a piss), then she just went with me up to my car.
We walk through the secluded car park, it's a Monday so there are very few shoppers driving to the mall, and we walk to the part of the carpark where my car is.
I open the driver's seat and turn the key in the ignition without getting into the car and say:
She sort of just follows what I say. I just get in the back from my side.
At the seduction location (Duration spent here: 1hr 40mins)
First 10-20 mins
We talk briefly for a while about regarding driving in her city. I sort of slide over to her in the back seat and put my arm around her. This is me preparing to manhandle kiss her.
So we sort of get into some conversational back and forth which ends in her guessing my age and me actually telling her my age (the fake 25).
I do the manhandle kiss abruptly halfway while we're having this conversation and it succeeds, I just plant my lips on hers and peck.
The conversation carries on and I try to kiss her again but she gives resistance. She tries to get me to guess her age again.
We drift back into normal conversation and she keeps asking me to let her sit in the front so that she can drive me home.
This is probably another test:
I just delay and don't eventually answer this question. I carry on trying to make her more comfortable.
Fast forward to the next successful man handle kiss where I kiss her for longer and she does kiss back but only a little bit. No full-blown make out.
After this happens, her tone of voice actually becomes quite fearful, it becomes like "What are you going to do to me?". She later actually says out loud that she's scared.
Her main 2 objectionsAt this point, a few objections come out:
1. What am I trying to do to her right now?
2. What is the relationship between the 2 of us?
I initiate the kiss with force another 2 times but once again she gives resistance and doesn't melt. Occasionally she kisses back but only by a little.
So right now what I'm doing is just actually having a normal fun conversation with her, but then flipping in an out of attempts to physically escalate on her.
I try to nibble her ear but she backs away from me and tells me not to do it in a girly way. I man handle kiss her again.
The "What do you want our relationship to be like?" objection comes out again.
Another objection comes out:
She says she's not actually particular about age but "maybe I'm too traditional"
Then she also says:
She tells me that she's more than 15 years older than me. Then talks about how guys my age will go for younger girls. I read about the way to deal with this on GC before so I say that older girls are more experienced and have more things to talk about whereas younger girls are just not sure what they're doing with their lives. She laughs and she says that I'm a pro and that she agrees with me.
So throughout this conversation with her I've actually been placing my hand on her inner thigh and gradually moving it up closer to her crotch. Now I think that I may have been performing the escalation too quickly without actually adequately dealing with her main two objections. Which is what NewbieWinner advised me on the last time. I'll try not to make this same mistake again. If anyone's reading this and knows what's going on, please correct me if I'm wrong.
So here she actually voices another concern which is that it's getting late (1025pm) and she wants to get home.
I ask her further on why she's scared. She just says that "it's quite a different thing" for her.
She brings up the it's getting late concern again. I sort of give her some space and tell her that if there's anything she needs to say then she can say it (now I'm realising that this is a mistake because she actually already made her objections clear to me). Then she starts to continually bring up the it's getting late and she wants to go home concern again.
There's quite a long period of silence and I attempt to slide my hand up her thigh again to which she gives resistance.
Then she says:
I sort of deal with this by saying that when something good is happening with someone that she likes she it's not something that she has to prepare for and she should just go with the flow. She says that she agrees with what I'm saying.
For the next 10 mins, she's just grumbling and complaining to me about needing to go home because she has work the next day and I just stay quiet because I'm quite unsure about what to do with this. I do another manhandle kiss to which once again she doesn't really kiss back.
We reach the start mark of the last 30 mins at this seduction location, she sort of opens the door and it really feels like she intends to get out of the car and just go home on her own. So I command her to stay and this delays her for the next 30 minutes.
What I do now is I somehow follow the advice that Mooser gave me in my previous FR++ regarding telling the girl about how it's the guy's responsibility to not take the girl for granted when she opens up to you and make the girl feel good during and after the experience of sex.
I suddenly say:
Her response was:
My response to what she said is that casual sex is emotionless whereas when you actually feel connection with someone it becomes more fulfilling.
She then tells me that she doesn't have sex with guys. She only "makes love" to guys. She says that sex is very common thing among humans. And then everyone needs sex. She says that the difference is that you make love with someone that you can love.
She says that if you have sex with someone that you love, it will feel better than normal sex. She can't make love to me at this point in time because she just met me.
I suppose that this is where I got outframed by her because I didn't know how to respond in order to beat her frame.
Following this, she also said that she came out to meet me to see what I am looking for from her, and she didn't expect that I would try to escalate.
I say that I try to take things further on the first meet because if we don't get together, we don't end up seeing each other again. This actually sounds defensive, as though I expect/need sex from her. So I'll try to come up with some other kind of response in the future. I say that there's no pressure, so if she needs to leave she should leave.
At this point of the conversation, it does seem as though she is listening intently and quite hard to what I'm saying so perhaps some stronger leadership from me would have made things work out. I tell her that I don't really like casual sex either because it is void of her feelings, but perhaps this does not adequately address her objection since she seems to be very concerned about the relationship.
In general, I tried to frame this as the best opportunity for us to get together, though it seems that my skills here are not up to mark and I will have to get better at this part of the seduction process.
Following this, she sort of brings up the fact that it's getting late again (11+pm) and needs to go back, this is unsurprising because there was adequate opportunity to address her objections just that I'm not good at doing that yet.
The end of the date
I didn't want to drop the lover frame so I didn't send her home and naturally because sex couldn't happen, she just had to leave and go off on her own. Didn't do too well here. I suppose that this really is going to be the next sticking point for me.
Lessons learnt/Remarks for readers
1. Not going to overreact from what happened on this date. It just simply shows that I really need to start focusing on dealing with objections properly if I want to get sex.
2. There's definitely some kind of a numbers game over here, so I suppose eventually I may run into girls who have less objections towards sex.
3. Thanks for reading my field report if you did!
On this Saturday afternoon outing, I did 15 approaches. This was probably the 7th-8th approach of this outing. So once again it's my same beginner friendly daygame circuit where there are plenty of stationary girls and I was also approaching here just the day before.
So I get to the a very wide underground air conditioned area where there are many pillars and many people leaning on these pillars while waiting for their friends to meet them.
I see J standing and waiting while leaning on one of these pillars that has a sign stuck high up on the pillar that says "do not wait here"
I do a direct walk-up approach and as I am walking towards her and begin to wave at her she's concurrently looking up at the sign above her head and she makes eye contact with me and before I can say a word she just starts walking off to the opposite end of this wide waiting area completely ignoring me. I thought to myself ok that was not good but keep my thinking positive and try to laugh it off
I stand around and chill out and then 10 mins later:
I see J standing and leaning on a different pillar in the other end of this wide waiting area and I decide to be persistent and I walk up to her prepared to do some direct opener and just explain what I'm doing to her.
This time she actually takes her earphones out and we start to have a conversation and we talk about some boring stuff and she told me that she initially thought I was some covid safe-distancing officer trying to enforce rules and that's why she walked away from me.
I can't quite remember how I got her number but we sort of had some kind of a 5-10 minute long conversation and I suggested we meet up again some other time and she said ok.
Texting
The girl
I'm not sure exactly how old this girl is but she told me she is about 15 years older than 25 years old (what I told her my age is) so she's somewhere around 40 years old.
She's quite cute though I would say that she's somewhere around a 6-7 out of 10. She's from a city that is about an hour's flight away from my city, though her whole family moved over to my city and she came along with them ever since 4 years ago.
She's worked in the construction industry doing sales and she's been doing this for a long time.
Her English is not the best but it is decent enough for both of us to have a conversation. Her 1st language is my 2nd langauge so anything that she can't express in English I could always use her 1st language to comm with her
So apparently she believes in ghosts, dislikes going shopping, dislikes dressing up and putting makeup. She said she'd rather sit down and eat food than go out shopping and dress up. She came on out date in a Jeans and some form a causual jumper which I personally really like.
She sort of does drink alcohol and sometimes she does get quite busy over the phone as her boss texts her like 15 hours a day.
Apparently, from what I heard, she has one other brother in her family, though I never asked her and she didn't talk about her relationship status. It was interesting that the lock screen of her phone had a picture of a man and 2 kids with no woman in the picture. I decided not to ask her about this observation and continue the seduction as though she's single.
Logistics
Location (It's always the same): A cluster of three vertical air-conditioned malls that are connected to each other on the ground floor, wide and busy underground pathways, and link bridges on the upper floors. There are rooftops, quiet coffee shops, garages located across these 3 malls Seduction location: One of these 3 malls is quieter than the rest. I park my car in a very secluded parking lot in the carpark that is located at the top of this quieter mall
My date-and-pull process is: Move her around as much as possible throughout the date and try to build compliance but don't wait too long to pull. Usually there aren't many interesting places to take my dates on in the mall above which I've parked my car so the pull usually involves bringing her from a different mall into the one above which I've parked my car.
The rest of this paragraph still describes a public space: Then we'll walk to a lift lobby that can be accessed from any floor of that mall. Take the lift up to the carpark. Make quite a quiet walk to my car. I.e. past many empty parking lots because I've picked the one right at the corner of the building's architecture. I'll turn on my engine. And get her to sit in the back with me
The car itself: I've got sunshades and ways of preventing people from seeing into my car more or less 90% so the only giveaway would be some form of springing up and down of the car on its wheels which is not a problem given the parking lot is very secluded.
I may come up with some kind of backup logistic where I can lead a girl to a private hallway or stairwell. But for now, that does not exist. It's the car or nothing.
About me
I am a 21/22 year old virgin.
At the time of my posting of this field report, it has been almost 7 months since I started going out regularly to do cold approach. I've never gone out to do night game thus far since that 7 month start mark.
Mainly because nightclubs and bars are still closed/safe-distancing. So far it has purely been daygame for me
U can check out my current journal at: https://www.skilledseducer.com/threads/ys-journal-revamped.23563/
... where I document more of my learning process and commitment
This is the 12th girl I've gone on a date with from cold approach (all first dates and so far I haven't even bothered asking for 2nd dates) and the 5th time I've gotten a girl into the backseat of my car (counting from the 1st time when I had the above logistics). I managed to get FR++s to the backseat of my car on my 2nd, 7th, 8th, and 11th dates in addition to this time.
What I tell my dates my identity is (100% false):
I use my real name but say I'm a small-time 25 year old actor who teaches acting at a small time studio. I was initially in college studying science but then dropped out of college cos I'm too dumb for it.
I actually live with my parents but what I tell my dates is that I share a flat with 2 other roommates (where I have my own room), whom I also share my car with.
The date (Mon 021120) (Duration: 4hrs 20 mins. Before seduction location: 2hrs 40 mins. At seduction location: 1hrs 40 mins.)
Everything pre-seduction location (Duration from meet-up time to back seat of my car was 2hrs 40mins. )
Here I'm just going to give a short summary of what kind of conversation we had because I don't think I learnt very much that's worth documenting.
We met on the first floor of one of the malls, crossed the street to get noodles (she actually pays for my food), sat down and chatted and actually had quite a fun conversation, no deep diving though cos I'm not really good at that (something I'll work on in the future). It felt like she wanted to stay at the eating place to talk to me more there because she was having fun.
I ask her whether she drinks alcohol and she said yes so I bounced her to a bar on the rooftop of one of the malls and had my 2nd experience on a bar date. Once again, no deep diving, but we have a fun conversation where we are actually sharing cool experiences and relating. We wrap up at the bar before even finishing the first drink and she goes to the bathroom while I settle the bill since she settled the earlier one.
She agreed to let me drive her home and I just told her that I needed to buy breakfast for the next day so I just got her to accompany me to the supermarket, I bought what I needed to buy, and I used the bathroom (don't want to have to leave the car to take a piss), then she just went with me up to my car.
We walk through the secluded car park, it's a Monday so there are very few shoppers driving to the mall, and we walk to the part of the carpark where my car is.
I open the driver's seat and turn the key in the ignition without getting into the car and say:
She sort of just follows what I say. I just get in the back from my side.
She gets in and shuts the door
At the seduction location (Duration spent here: 1hr 40mins)
First 10-20 mins
We talk briefly for a while about regarding driving in her city. I sort of slide over to her in the back seat and put my arm around her. This is me preparing to manhandle kiss her.
So we sort of get into some conversational back and forth which ends in her guessing my age and me actually telling her my age (the fake 25).
I do the manhandle kiss abruptly halfway while we're having this conversation and it succeeds, I just plant my lips on hers and peck.
The conversation carries on and I try to kiss her again but she gives resistance. She tries to get me to guess her age again.
We drift back into normal conversation and she keeps asking me to let her sit in the front so that she can drive me home.
This is probably another test:
I just delay and don't eventually answer this question. I carry on trying to make her more comfortable.
Fast forward to the next successful man handle kiss where I kiss her for longer and she does kiss back but only a little bit. No full-blown make out.
After this happens, her tone of voice actually becomes quite fearful, it becomes like "What are you going to do to me?". She later actually says out loud that she's scared.
Her main 2 objectionsAt this point, a few objections come out:
1. What am I trying to do to her right now?
2. What is the relationship between the 2 of us?
I initiate the kiss with force another 2 times but once again she gives resistance and doesn't melt. Occasionally she kisses back but only by a little.
So right now what I'm doing is just actually having a normal fun conversation with her, but then flipping in an out of attempts to physically escalate on her.
I try to nibble her ear but she backs away from me and tells me not to do it in a girly way. I man handle kiss her again.
The "What do you want our relationship to be like?" objection comes out again.
Another objection comes out:
She says she's not actually particular about age but "maybe I'm too traditional"
Then she also says:
She tells me that she's more than 15 years older than me. Then talks about how guys my age will go for younger girls. I read about the way to deal with this on GC before so I say that older girls are more experienced and have more things to talk about whereas younger girls are just not sure what they're doing with their lives. She laughs and she says that I'm a pro and that she agrees with me.
So throughout this conversation with her I've actually been placing my hand on her inner thigh and gradually moving it up closer to her crotch. Now I think that I may have been performing the escalation too quickly without actually adequately dealing with her main two objections. Which is what NewbieWinner advised me on the last time. I'll try not to make this same mistake again. If anyone's reading this and knows what's going on, please correct me if I'm wrong.
So here she actually voices another concern which is that it's getting late (1025pm) and she wants to get home.
I ask her further on why she's scared. She just says that "it's quite a different thing" for her.
She brings up the it's getting late concern again. I sort of give her some space and tell her that if there's anything she needs to say then she can say it (now I'm realising that this is a mistake because she actually already made her objections clear to me). Then she starts to continually bring up the it's getting late and she wants to go home concern again.
There's quite a long period of silence and I attempt to slide my hand up her thigh again to which she gives resistance.
Then she says:
I sort of deal with this by saying that when something good is happening with someone that she likes she it's not something that she has to prepare for and she should just go with the flow. She says that she agrees with what I'm saying.
For the next 10 mins, she's just grumbling and complaining to me about needing to go home because she has work the next day and I just stay quiet because I'm quite unsure about what to do with this. I do another manhandle kiss to which once again she doesn't really kiss back.
We reach the start mark of the last 30 mins at this seduction location, she sort of opens the door and it really feels like she intends to get out of the car and just go home on her own. So I command her to stay and this delays her for the next 30 minutes.
What I do now is I somehow follow the advice that Mooser gave me in my previous FR++ regarding telling the girl about how it's the guy's responsibility to not take the girl for granted when she opens up to you and make the girl feel good during and after the experience of sex.
I suddenly say:
Her response was:
My response to what she said is that casual sex is emotionless whereas when you actually feel connection with someone it becomes more fulfilling.
She then tells me that she doesn't have sex with guys. She only "makes love" to guys. She says that sex is very common thing among humans. And then everyone needs sex. She says that the difference is that you make love with someone that you can love.
She says that if you have sex with someone that you love, it will feel better than normal sex. She can't make love to me at this point in time because she just met me.
I suppose that this is where I got outframed by her because I didn't know how to respond in order to beat her frame.
Following this, she also said that she came out to meet me to see what I am looking for from her, and she didn't expect that I would try to escalate.
I say that I try to take things further on the first meet because if we don't get together, we don't end up seeing each other again. This actually sounds defensive, as though I expect/need sex from her. So I'll try to come up with some other kind of response in the future. I say that there's no pressure, so if she needs to leave she should leave.
At this point of the conversation, it does seem as though she is listening intently and quite hard to what I'm saying so perhaps some stronger leadership from me would have made things work out. I tell her that I don't really like casual sex either because it is void of her feelings, but perhaps this does not adequately address her objection since she seems to be very concerned about the relationship.
In general, I tried to frame this as the best opportunity for us to get together, though it seems that my skills here are not up to mark and I will have to get better at this part of the seduction process.
Following this, she sort of brings up the fact that it's getting late again (11+pm) and needs to go back, this is unsurprising because there was adequate opportunity to address her objections just that I'm not good at doing that yet.
The end of the date
I didn't want to drop the lover frame so I didn't send her home and naturally because sex couldn't happen, she just had to leave and go off on her own. Didn't do too well here. I suppose that this really is going to be the next sticking point for me.
Lessons learnt/Remarks for readers
1. Not going to overreact from what happened on this date. It just simply shows that I really need to start focusing on dealing with objections properly if I want to get sex.
2. There's definitely some kind of a numbers game over here, so I suppose eventually I may run into girls who have less objections towards sex.
3. Thanks for reading my field report if you did!
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