Y's journal revamped

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
200
After 5 months of trying to learn seduction, it hasn't been working out well...

Very little results. When I do get results, they're super inconsistent.

So I am going to just follow the method in Chase's HTMGC ebook as much as possible. That is the only goal of this journal. To document my progress in becoming the man that Chase teaches me to be in HTMGC. What I will do is follow exactly what he says and try as far as possible to become 100% of who the man in the book is.

Who I am and what I have achieved so far:

As of now, I'm 22 and I'm still a virgin. I believe that I started and still am at quite a difficult place to start learning this. I've had some pretty bad experiences with girls throughout my life and this leads to anxiety when I cold approach, and bitterness, and lots of other bad things.

Over the past 5 months, I've got out to approach at least 3 times a week (on average 4-5 times a week) with each outing on average being about 3 hours (all day game). I have failed to get much practise despite these outings not because I don't approach, but because I keep getting blown off.

Over the past 5 months, I started to do TRE, building a social life (I had zero social life), and built quite a fair bit of resilience.

Discipline

If u ask me, I am currently just as confused, if not more confused than when I first started going out to meet girls.

This is why I am now just going to focus on seriously implementing the set of skills in Chase's ebook. One-by-one if I have to. But I will make sure I implement them.

I will take advice from other people, and I will definitely perhaps look briefly at some other content. But for the next 3 months, if not 6 months, I will focus solely on acquiring the skills from Chase's ebook. If there is any advice that I run into that is contrary or slightly different from what Chase writes in his book, I will ignore it.

It will be a long and tough road ahead. I won't worry about how many dates I go on, or whether I have any shots to lose my virginity, or whatever other short-term things that there are.


Hope some of you can learn from my experiences or help to keep me accountable to what I have said here
Y
 
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Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
200
Have you read this article before? https://www.girlschase.com/content/what-do-when-your-approach-just-isnt-working

What is your assessment after reading it?
Hey EP, yea I just read it recently actually.

My assessment is that out of the list of 8 things that are mentioned in the article, I don't even perform well at any of them. But I believe the main problem is that:
I try to learn from everywhere and have not been diligently and successfully executing the steps/requirements of any established skillset/product at all
Essentially... Mixing and matching methods

This leads to:
1. My vibe being wrong (because it's all over the place, not one clear strong vibe)
2. Not closing (because I have no results at all, even for number closing I can't get to the point in conversation because it gets too awkward/they try to leave etc)

For now, I don't really have problems with:
1. Not approaching
2. Spam approaching
3. Going too extreme (I have no opportunities to practice techniques anyway)

Not too sure about these:
1. Having a clear woman goal
2. Not tailoring myself to the women I want
I suppose I will have to follow up on these when I have the time.
At this current point in time, my thought process is to approach all sorts of women first without getting blown off so that I can get proper practice training a basic foundation of fundamentals/attraction building first. Because so I HAVE NOT been getting the practice because I have been getting blown off so much.
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
200
I'm going to go out today for another 3 hour outing of day game alone. What I have decided is that I'm going to write a field report after today's outing and I'll post the field report on the field reports board and post the link here as well.
The goal for today will be 8 approaches.
The purpose of the field report will be to debug my getting blown off problem.


Advice (directly from HTMGC) that I am going to take into the field:
1. Advice on social momentum:
The simple concept of building social momentum and then maintaining social momentum.

Today, when I am building/maintaining social momentum, I am not going to specifically talk to women unless circumstances are easy to do so.
Before I do my first approach, I will talk to 5 different people.
If I for some reason get particularly negative, I will stop approaching, and go and talk to 2 new people. That's it. Not that hard to fk it up.
After rebuilding social momentum and positivity, I will start approaching again.

Chase does not specifically state but it seems quite evident that in building social momentum he recommends that u build social momentum with new women. I will get to this stage soon enough. For today, it's just going to be talk to sufficient numbers of whoever (guys or girls).


2. Advice on the fundamental of using the law of least effort in conversation:
In general, putting in as little effort as possible.
Ignoring insults and never getting defensive
Expressing ideas concisely and to the point not only with words
Deflecting requests for compliance, using ambiguity and statements like "maybe later"
Learning to make the other person try to get your attention

In general, appearing independent and secure.
At the core, not needing the other person's approval, acceptance, or interest.


All the way until the end of next Sunday, I will go out to work on these skills during Day game. I will see how well I have improved at these and whether the getting blown-off problem still persists.

If I think I have managed to grasp some of these well, I will progress on to a different skill from HTMGC.


Link to field report:

Goal for next outing. To implement social momentum building and maintenance again. Learning to build social momentum more quickly.

Monitor results
 
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terminator92

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Sep 9, 2020
Messages
30
Hey Merchant's Kin,

I have not read Chase's E-book that you talk about, but I had the same problem in the beginning of my journey. I used to devour material from different coaches with different mindsets and philosophies and try to incorporate all of them or try one out for one day and the other the next. It was one of the biggest stumbling blocks in my journey. But I was able to slowly overcome it.

You are taking action consistently, which is great. Maybe you need to stop treating yourself too harshly and take a little bit more of a laid back approach to this, not in terms of the amount of action you are taking but in terms of your mindset which might help you calm down and enjoy the process a bit more. As far as I know, this goal of not getting blown off by women counter-intuitively leads to getting blown out more because we clamp up and come across as if we are tense and in approval seeking mode. Letting go of that need and approaching with a "let's see what happens" mindset might help with this. Just until you overcome this debilitating fear of getting blown out.

I am doing daygame alone too and Chase's 30 day challenge. Check out my journal as well in case that might in anyway help you. I am no expert and I am working on my Game as well. Also PM me if you would want to connect and discuss more. That would be great :)
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 11, 2018
Messages
349
I think you're definitely overthinking it. Simplicity is our friend, especially as beginners. Let me ask you this: in your original post, you talk about your effort in terms of time. 'X days a week approaching for Y hours.' Forget about time - how many approaches are you doing in each outing, on average?

Also, it's going to be a problem if your current goal is simply "not to get blown out." Blowing out will happen to the best of them. Are you aware that in one of Hector's videos, he says that he - as an expert - has to approach about 20 girls in order to get 1 lay? That means he's getting blow outs. You could be the sexiest man on the planet, but if you approach a girl that's in a happy relationship and not looking elsewhere at all, well, you're going to get blown out.

In addition, approaching girls with the mindset of 'gee I hope this one doesn't blow me out,' is neediness and seeking validation. You're shooting yourself in the foot by deciding to roll with a weak mindset. Fuck that shit. You're approaching her because you think she's cute and you want to meet her. That's it. Keep it simple. Who fucking cares how she reacts. Many won't be interested. Some will. Doesn't change why you approached, and a man with a real pair of balls doesn't need to hide it.
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
200
Hey Merchant's Kin,

I have not read Chase's E-book that you talk about, but I had the same problem in the beginning of my journey. I used to devour material from different coaches with different mindsets and philosophies and try to incorporate all of them or try one out for one day and the other the next. It was one of the biggest stumbling blocks in my journey. But I was able to slowly overcome it.

You are taking action consistently, which is great. Maybe you need to stop treating yourself too harshly and take a little bit more of a laid back approach to this, not in terms of the amount of action you are taking but in terms of your mindset which might help you calm down and enjoy the process a bit more. As far as I know, this goal of not getting blown off by women counter-intuitively leads to getting blown out more because we clamp up and come across as if we are tense and in approval seeking mode. Letting go of that need and approaching with a "let's see what happens" mindset might help with this. Just until you overcome this debilitating fear of getting blown out.

I am doing daygame alone too and Chase's 30 day challenge. Check out my journal as well in case that might in anyway help you. I am no expert and I am working on my Game as well. Also PM me if you would want to connect and discuss more. That would be great :)
Hi Terminator92. Thanks for the encouragement. Hope to see documentation of activity from you. Will look at your journal.



Hey @ElderPrice !

If I keep getting blown out, I generally go up to 12-15 times per outing. When I went out yesterday I only approached 6 times but I enjoyed the process a lot more because I spoke to 13 other people to keep the momentum going.

That means he's getting blow outs. You could be the sexiest man on the planet, but if you approach a girl that's in a happy relationship and not looking elsewhere at all, well, you're going to get blown out.
I sort of worry a lot because each interaction with a girl lasts on average 30 seconds or less. This means that I'm not getting any practice whatsoever. The thing I'm concerned about right now is not so much getting dates (of course I want to go on more if I can...) as much as it is about getting practice while while talking to women with intent. Cos if each interaction is 30 seconds or less. I'm really not getting any practice at all I feel.


As far as I know, this goal of not getting blown off by women counter-intuitively leads to getting blown out more because we clamp up and come across as if we are tense and in approval seeking mode. Letting go of that need and approaching with a "let's see what happens" mindset might help with this. Just until you overcome this debilitating fear of getting blown out.
In addition, approaching girls with the mindset of 'gee I hope this one doesn't blow me out,' is neediness and seeking validation. You're shooting yourself in the foot by deciding to roll with a weak mindset. Fuck that shit. You're approaching her because you think she's cute and you want to meet her. That's it. Keep it simple. Who fucking cares how she reacts. Many won't be interested. Some will. Doesn't change why you approached, and a man with a real pair of balls doesn't need to hide it.
This makes sense. It's hard to break out of it if I keep getting blown off though. So my solution to that right now is to keep myself warmed up and positive by talking to people throughout the daygame outing. I'm not sure how helpful it's going to be but will see how it goes next few outings.
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
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Messages
349
If you can't find a conversation that lasts more than 30 seconds, then you're probably coming across as a weirdo. Stop thinking about it as an exact, literal process, where every step must be followed to a t.

How are you opening all these people? What are your most common examples?
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
200
you're probably coming across as a weirdo.
Hmm, that's quite fair I suppose.

How are you opening all these people? What are your most common examples?
Even right now, there aren't many common examples, I used to start with very terrible openers that make me sound dumb and show I only care about looks.

But there are common themes for my openers (at least when I feel that I have opened well). Right now, commonly they are:
1. Some very interesting/unique article of clothing and what impression it gives me about her
2. Something about her posture that makes her look confident. Then, I'll in some way say "that is attractive"
3. Something along the lines of "you look good" BUT said with extremely genuine body language/tone of voice/pace of speech (when I really like the girl but can't describe it) (I've seen that they respond well to this)

I've also started to ground the compliments much more and that has made things go better. By this I mean saying something like "Hi, I'm hanging around a bit before my dance class/ I'm trying to find a shop where they've got bracelets/ etc , ... then ... (compliment)"
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
349
Hmm those don't sound unusual. How many times have you opened direct? "Hey I saw you and think you're cute and had to meet you."
 

Merchant's-Kin

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Dec 30, 2019
Messages
200
Hmm those don't sound unusual. How many times have you opened direct? "Hey I saw you and think you're cute and had to meet you."
By direct do u mean in some way specifically telling the girl I think she's attractive?

What I understand 'direct' to mean is... something something related to:

1. Some very interesting/unique article of clothing and what impression it gives me about her
2. Something about her posture that makes her look confident. Then, I'll in some way say "that is attractive"
3. Something along the lines of "you look good" BUT said with extremely genuine body language/tone of voice/pace of speech (when I really like the girl but can't describe it) (I've seen that they respond well to this)
Where only on occasion am I specifically telling the girl that I find her attractive (even when the girl is attractive sometimes I open with something else that I am quite interested in)

In terms of how often I specifically say something along the lines of "Hey I saw you and think you're cute/attractive/wow/jazz/whatever and had to meet you.", I would say it's 20% of the time or less


I think the problem is not with the openers. Before this 2 weeks of me going out, I believe the problem that I've faced when daygaming in the field has been that I get blown off/the interaction goes badly for the first 3-4 approaches and this leads to my mind being filled with negativity and me losing motivation/interest in the women I'm in proximity with.

Another problem was that I completely did not warm-up by building social momentum before doing approaches. Since I'm locked in my workplace more or less the whole day, I was approaching with a lot of anxiety from lack of social interaction

After starting to take social momentum seriously, this has helped with the negativity and fear of gettin blown off and I've been noticing women respond better even when they blow me off.


Status update:
After my most recent field report, went out another 3-4 times. Will be posting another field report on Saturday/Sunday after which I will add another skill into my focus from HTMGC.

Things to take note of:
1. When building/maintaining social momentum, sometimes the conversation can get boring and dull, and that adds no fuel to the momentum that I'm trying to build (whether it's talking to girls or guys). I'll try to create more banter/jokes while remembering the law of least effort.
2. Sometimes my mind is very clouded by anxiety of whether the interaction will go well. And this can make me completely forget about the social fundamentals I'm working on during interactions. Solution 1: Try meditating before going out. Solution 2: Telling myself to chill out when in the field
3. When I'm interested I tend run the conversation way too fast, and this can make me come off as wierd, so conversation speed is something I have to bring down to a normal speed so that I don't make girls eject.
 

ElderPrice

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
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Direct is "Hey I saw you and think you're cute/attractive/wow/jazz/whatever and had to meet you." Direct openers don't beat around the bush, nor do they hide your intentions.

The 3 openers you quoted are more indirect. The girl will hear your compliment about her clothing, and while she can probably guess what's really on her mind, she doesn't know for sure until there's more conversation.

In any case, yeah based on what you wrote, it doesn't sound like opener issues. Was just curious how you're opening.

Have you read this article before? https://www.girlschase.com/content/think-numbers-talking-lots-girls
 
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