- Joined
- Jan 24, 2016
- Messages
- 43
I met this girl, K, yesterday at a club meeting I attend weekly. Her friend brought her, and throughout the meeting I keep catching her glancing at me, and at one one point we lock eyes and she smiles, which I return. After the meeting people stay and chat a bit, another girl who I know likes me, asks me to hang out this weekend, I give an evasive answer of Saturday, this takes place right in front of K. I'm asked to have dinner with those remaining, her friend is going, but she says she's going home.
We don't leave immediately however. And in the interim, I sit and start talking to K, and she just opens up, with extremely little effort, she's looking directly at me as she's talking and asking me questions relating to her story, which was a little ranty to be honest. At some point I decide I don't want to have dinner with the group, so I cut in at a break point and ask her to coffee, she agrees and we set a tentative plan for today.
Thoughts after that: The story was about a guy she had been seeing who just started ignoring her in this semester, I figure she just wants sex with me to get back at him, which i'm fine with. She also said that she doesn't really do long term planning and that if I were to ask her to coffee that night, I should have asked an hour beforehand. I think that this should be a relatively easy pull.
Coffee: She arrives 10 minutes early, which is a good sign. I walk in and she's on her phone, I walk over, give her a hug and then take a seat. This is at about 6pm. She does check her phone a few times at the beginning, but apologizes, and I don't know how to punish it without coming off like an asshole. She says that its her friends at a club event, I say I completely forgot about it, she says that I still have time to go, I say no thats fine, I wasn't planning on it. We started talking about flavors, and I listed off a few and asked which she would be as I headed to grab a water.
I head back and she says that she would be sour. Around this time, my phone is buzzing, and I check it to see that it's my friend, and I tell her that he's probably asking me to go see the campus movie (Spectre), and if she would like to join us. She says that she has a bunch of homework, but that I should still go. I say I was planning on going to go see it tomorrow, but she said that I should go with my friend(This is a girl who values her friends highly). I say it's not until 8 in any case, and then make a joke about her wanting to get rid of me, she laughs but then says she would just walk out on me if she wanted that, which I respect, that we could always do this again later and it doesnt have to be today, but then proceeds to say that these next 2 weekends aren't good for her, but after that would be.
I didn't ask about any of that. And by this time she has essentially told me she's impulsive and that if she something she wants, she goes and gets it. So i'm thinking that I should try to pull now, I ask her if she wants to go party, she looks a bit confused, and I say that I know a place with good music and free drinks, she gives me the homework thing again, but she's SAYS that it's not actually an excuse and that she's very busy. I clarify that I meant tonight right now, and she's like yea I know. At this point i'm thinking, "Then why the hell are you here with me now?" and am very confused.
Back to talking, I see a stray hair and brush it back on her, she's showing me funny pictures on her phone, I'm waiting for another oppurtunity to ask her back to my place, as I think she thought that when I said we should go party that I actually meant out on the town. As we're talking about pets I see my chance, and ask if she's ever seen a certain pair of youtube videos, she says no and I reach for her hand and say let's go watch them, but she pulls back her hand. (I have touched her hand or arm on occasions during the conversation). I'm standing up and she's still sitting, and I ask her if she's having a good time right now and reach to lay my hand on top of hers again and she again withdraws, and she says that she is very busy.
Had she not withdrawn her hand I would have persisted, but at that point I essentially ended it because it wasn't going anywhere and wished her good night. I think she was up to SOMETHING, I just couldn't for the life of me figure it out. I also feel really pushy at the end, and that maybe I was sending out Rapey vibes, and I wished I didn't push so far.
What mistakes are there here that I can correct? I can tell my frame control was pretty weak, but other than that, I don't know.
We don't leave immediately however. And in the interim, I sit and start talking to K, and she just opens up, with extremely little effort, she's looking directly at me as she's talking and asking me questions relating to her story, which was a little ranty to be honest. At some point I decide I don't want to have dinner with the group, so I cut in at a break point and ask her to coffee, she agrees and we set a tentative plan for today.
Thoughts after that: The story was about a guy she had been seeing who just started ignoring her in this semester, I figure she just wants sex with me to get back at him, which i'm fine with. She also said that she doesn't really do long term planning and that if I were to ask her to coffee that night, I should have asked an hour beforehand. I think that this should be a relatively easy pull.
Coffee: She arrives 10 minutes early, which is a good sign. I walk in and she's on her phone, I walk over, give her a hug and then take a seat. This is at about 6pm. She does check her phone a few times at the beginning, but apologizes, and I don't know how to punish it without coming off like an asshole. She says that its her friends at a club event, I say I completely forgot about it, she says that I still have time to go, I say no thats fine, I wasn't planning on it. We started talking about flavors, and I listed off a few and asked which she would be as I headed to grab a water.
I head back and she says that she would be sour. Around this time, my phone is buzzing, and I check it to see that it's my friend, and I tell her that he's probably asking me to go see the campus movie (Spectre), and if she would like to join us. She says that she has a bunch of homework, but that I should still go. I say I was planning on going to go see it tomorrow, but she said that I should go with my friend(This is a girl who values her friends highly). I say it's not until 8 in any case, and then make a joke about her wanting to get rid of me, she laughs but then says she would just walk out on me if she wanted that, which I respect, that we could always do this again later and it doesnt have to be today, but then proceeds to say that these next 2 weekends aren't good for her, but after that would be.
I didn't ask about any of that. And by this time she has essentially told me she's impulsive and that if she something she wants, she goes and gets it. So i'm thinking that I should try to pull now, I ask her if she wants to go party, she looks a bit confused, and I say that I know a place with good music and free drinks, she gives me the homework thing again, but she's SAYS that it's not actually an excuse and that she's very busy. I clarify that I meant tonight right now, and she's like yea I know. At this point i'm thinking, "Then why the hell are you here with me now?" and am very confused.
Back to talking, I see a stray hair and brush it back on her, she's showing me funny pictures on her phone, I'm waiting for another oppurtunity to ask her back to my place, as I think she thought that when I said we should go party that I actually meant out on the town. As we're talking about pets I see my chance, and ask if she's ever seen a certain pair of youtube videos, she says no and I reach for her hand and say let's go watch them, but she pulls back her hand. (I have touched her hand or arm on occasions during the conversation). I'm standing up and she's still sitting, and I ask her if she's having a good time right now and reach to lay my hand on top of hers again and she again withdraws, and she says that she is very busy.
Had she not withdrawn her hand I would have persisted, but at that point I essentially ended it because it wasn't going anywhere and wished her good night. I think she was up to SOMETHING, I just couldn't for the life of me figure it out. I also feel really pushy at the end, and that maybe I was sending out Rapey vibes, and I wished I didn't push so far.
What mistakes are there here that I can correct? I can tell my frame control was pretty weak, but other than that, I don't know.
