Failure

[Salamence]

I was wondering how you guys handle failure?
I think one of my problems is that I get extremely fustrated when I fail at something whether is playing a video game or any skill ( f course picking up women) I try hard not get mad but its very hard to control. Maybe you guys can share how you handle failure maybe give me new insights because I know getting mad when I fail is not a good option

 

[Verisimilitude]

You just don't dwell on it. So you strike out with a girl...so what? This gives you the opportunity to go for a new girl and to figure out what you did wrong. While I still can take failure pretty hard, I find that I'm most upset in the times when I'm bored or sitting around. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, go out and DO something. You'll be happier for it, and you'll be one step closer to your next success.

 

[Salamence]

That's a good way to look at it. It is more upsetting when im bored and thinking on what i could have done. Come to think of it, i think holding back is actually more painful then going for it.

 

[Knight]

That's a good way to look at it. It is more upsetting when im bored and thinking on what i could have done. Come to think of it, i think holding back is actually more painful then going for it.

Hey dude,
I know everyone has had that feeling more than once, and it does suck. Something I'm doing more and is highly recommended by most successful people, including Chase is to get extremely busy. There is always a chance to expand your knowledge. When you're so busy, those feelings are shoved away so fast you won't notice.

- Knight

 

[Franco]

Hey Salamence,

I was wondering how you guys handle failure?

This can be a tough one when you're first starting out, and, if you're a perfectionist (like myself), then sometimes it just feels like failure is not an option. However, this can also cause you to just not take action at all, which in itself, is of course a failure.

There was actually one funny trick I used for two weekends of going out in a row that actually really helped me. I still was not consistently able to do a cold approach at the time, and I decided that it was due to my fear of failure. So do you know what I did? I decided that I was going to approach as many girls as I could that weekend with the INTENTION of failing.

That's right. I made it my goal to fail in as many different ways as possible when approaching so that a "success" for me was actually a "failure." In some situations, I got blown out instantly, and this actually made me smile. In other instances, I would get as far as deep-diving and then purposely say something stupid and out of the blue just to make her walk away. I think I decided each weekend that I would need to fail at least 10-15 times to be satisfied.

Once you fail (or in my case, succeed) enough times, you realize that failure is just a learning tool. I noticed that each time I was failing, I was able to get further into the seduction. So while at the beginning of this cycle I was failing right on the openers, most of my later "fails" were occurring after movement and deep-diving. Approaching started to become a non-issue after experiencing the worst of it enough times -- and you realize that the worst of it isn't even all that bad!

So I guess the point of this message is to put yourself in a position to expose yourself to failure. Women are the one area in your life that you will not be able to just read up everything on or watch videos on and then go out into the field and succeed instantaneously. You will need to fail in order to succeed. Expose yourself to it early, and you will benefit.

I hope this helps!

- Franco

 

[Knight]

Hey Salamence,

I was wondering how you guys handle failure?

This can be a tough one when you're first starting out, and, if you're a perfectionist (like myself), then sometimes it just feels like failure is not an option. However, this can also cause you to just not take action at all, which in itself, is of course a failure.

There was actually one funny trick I used for two weekends of going out in a row that actually really helped me. I still was not consistently able to do a cold approach at the time, and I decided that it was due to my fear of failure. So do you know what I did? I decided that I was going to approach as many girls as I could that weekend with the INTENTION of failing.

That's right. I made it my goal to fail in as many different ways as possible when approaching so that a "success" for me was actually a "failure." In some situations, I got blown out instantly, and this actually made me smile. In other instances, I would get as far as deep-diving and then purposely say something stupid and out of the blue just to make her walk away. I think I decided each weekend that I would need to fail at least 10-15 times to be satisfied.

Once you fail (or in my case, succeed) enough times, you realize that failure is just a learning tool. I noticed that each time I was failing, I was able to get further into the seduction. So while at the beginning of this cycle I was failing right on the openers, most of my later "fails" were occurring after movement and deep-diving. Approaching started to become a non-issue after experiencing the worst of it enough times -- and you realize that the worst of it isn't even all that bad!

So I guess the point of this message is to put yourself in a position to expose yourself to failure. Women are the one area in your life that you will not be able to just read up everything on or watch videos on and then go out into the field and succeed instantaneously. You will need to fail in order to succeed. Expose yourself to it early, and you will benefit.

I hope this helps!

- Franco

To add to Franco's discussion I would like to say that once you've experienced a few big failures you won't find it such a big deal when you make smaller mistakes down the track - as you're comparing them to the larger blunders.

 

[Nuncle]

I suppose its like if you decided you wanted to become a Karate champion.

If, after your first lesson, you entered a tournament containing a load of black belts (the equivalent of really hot women) you would learn a lot but you would get your ass handed to you several times. In fact you would if you entered a brown belt tournament as well.

Hopefully in that situation you wouldn't say to yourself "I hate this! I'm not going through that again". If you were serious you would say "Wow, I learned a lot there. I'll do a bit better next time".

 

[Salamence]

Ah yeah thanks for the advice guys. I kinda have this push and pull thing where i wanna give up but my mind bugs the shit out of me telling me i gotta do it, but i never take action on doing, so they contradict each other. I think that's why it took to me three years to successfullly lose weight ( by the way thanks for the article on girlchase blog) i mananged to lose 40 pounds in 1 in a half months and still trying to lose weight. You guys are right though im not gonna give up!

 

[Gamecrasher]

Hey Salamence,

I was wondering how you guys handle failure?

This can be a tough one when you're first starting out, and, if you're a perfectionist (like myself), then sometimes it just feels like failure is not an option. However, this can also cause you to just not take action at all, which in itself, is of course a failure.

There was actually one funny trick I used for two weekends of going out in a row that actually really helped me. I still was not consistently able to do a cold approach at the time, and I decided that it was due to my fear of failure. So do you know what I did? I decided that I was going to approach as many girls as I could that weekend with the INTENTION of failing.

That's right. I made it my goal to fail in as many different ways as possible when approaching so that a "success" for me was actually a "failure." In some situations, I got blown out instantly, and this actually made me smile. In other instances, I would get as far as deep-diving and then purposely say something stupid and out of the blue just to make her walk away. I think I decided each weekend that I would need to fail at least 10-15 times to be satisfied.

Once you fail (or in my case, succeed) enough times, you realize that failure is just a learning tool. I noticed that each time I was failing, I was able to get further into the seduction. So while at the beginning of this cycle I was failing right on the openers, most of my later "fails" were occurring after movement and deep-diving. Approaching started to become a non-issue after experiencing the worst of it enough times -- and you realize that the worst of it isn't even all that bad!

So I guess the point of this message is to put yourself in a position to expose yourself to failure. Women are the one area in your life that you will not be able to just read up everything on or watch videos on and then go out into the field and succeed instantaneously. You will need to fail in order to succeed. Expose yourself to it early, and you will benefit.

I hope this helps!

- Franco

hahahaha Franco, this is awesome. I never thought about failure in a positive light like this. I'm also having trouble with approaching, so I'll definitely do this

 

[trashKENNUT]

Salamence,

I was wondering how you guys handle failure?
I think one of my problems is that I get extremely fustrated when I fail at something whether is playing a video game or any skill ( f course picking up women) I try hard not get mad but its very hard to control. Maybe you guys can share how you handle failure maybe give me new insights because I know getting mad when I fail is not a good option

when i first start out, i did a lot of mistakes, major ones! it sure sucks but eventually you get back up on your feet. It's all in your hands.

Zac