Fear of approaching younger girls

[average_daygamer]

Since the incident at the nightclub and in general really, I have a big fear of approaching younger girls.

I thought I was getting over it until that happened.

But if I have a fear of it, that means I have to smash it HEAD ON, as I am never going to be as young as I am now.

Firstly, it is PRIMAL. We see an 18 year old girl (or any girl 25 or under, really) and we know, on a PRIMAL level, that she is ripe for reproduction.

But on top of that, we fear that she is going to say "How old are you" in an accusatory tone and use that as a method to take offense.

Additionally, if there are any other guys around, there is a fear they may take a moral objection and intervene.

However, if you want to get laid with 18 year old girls, you have to approach them. And it is worth it just as training because they are the hottest girls and it will desentize you to their youth and beauty.

I can't constantly approach anyone under 25 during the day because I am too scared of them being under 18.

I am now also not able to go back to the only club I can go to without renting an airbnb since I challenged the security guard for talking smack to his friend about me when I saw him in the gym, which has now cemented my face in his memory and made him probably think I'm a trouble seeker.

It just overall put a bad vibe, but I thought it was disrespectful of him to talk about me in the locker room, when we were both in a different environment.

Not to mention, I have been in the club and not seen anyone who looks over 25. So who am I to approach in that scenario? Just not talk to any of them because they are under 25!?

 

[empath]

Since the incident at the nightclub and in general really, I have a big fear of approaching younger girls.

I thought I was getting over it until that happened.

But if I have a fear of it, that means I have to smash it HEAD ON, as I am never going to be as young as I am now.

Firstly, it is PRIMAL. We see an 18 year old girl (or any girl 25 or under, really) and we know, on a PRIMAL level, that she is ripe for reproduction.

But on top of that, we fear that she is going to say "How old are you" in an accusatory tone and use that as a method to take offense.

Additionally, if there are any other guys around, there is a fear they may take a moral objection and intervene.

However, if you want to get laid with 18 year old girls, you have to approach them. And it is worth it just as training because they are the hottest girls and it will desentize you to their youth and beauty.

I can't constantly approach anyone under 25 during the day because I am too scared of them being under 18.

I am now also not able to go back to the only club I can go to without renting an airbnb since I challenged the security guard for talking smack to his friend about me when I saw him in the gym, which has now cemented my face in his memory and made him probably think I'm a trouble seeker.

It just overall put a bad vibe, but I thought it was disrespectful of him to talk about me in the locker room, when we were both in a different environment.

Not to mention, I have been in the club and not seen anyone who looks over 25. So who am I to approach in that scenario? Just not talk to any of them because they are under 25!?

Dude just lie or don't say anything about your age.

Simple

Take a guess

Her XYZ

You Yeah good.

Girls lie about their age all the time.

And no one can guess your exact age anyways.

How old are you btw?

I usually keep myself clean shave.

I'm 26 and people guess my age as 22.

I have been with 19 yo girl and she didn't cared.

Yeah and no one is accusing you, they are curious.

Its just you are hearing it in your mind.

 

[Aussiedude]

Really easy fix, approach on school days. When the kids are in school lol. And if they're out well they'll be in uniform since you're in the uk.

 

[average_daygamer]

Really easy fix, approach on school days. When the kids are in school lol. And if they're out well they'll be in uniform since you're in the uk.

You are a special kind of moron.

 

[average_daygamer]

Dude just lie or don't say anything about your age.

Simple

Take a guess

Her XYZ

You Yeah good.

Girls lie about their age all the time.

And no one can guess your exact age anyways.

How old are you btw?

I usually keep myself clean shave.

I'm 26 and people guess my age as 22.

I have been with 19 yo girl and she didn't cared.

Yeah and no one is accusing you, they are curious.

Its just you are hearing it in your mind.

I never get to the point of being asked my age. Go and read my field report "nightclub bouncer intervenes in pickup".

As for the girls, I am sure they are not lying at all. They look too young and pretty to be old.

I guarantee they are accusing me, you are very young and haven't experienced it yet

 

[empath]

I never get to the point of being asked my age. Go and read my field report "nightclub bouncer intervenes in pickup".

As for the girls, I am sure they are not lying at all. They look too young and pretty to be old.

I guarantee they are accusing me, you are very young and haven't experienced it yet

How old are you? Approx. Range

 

[Zac]

@average_daygamer,

I don't feel very qualified to reply, so hopefully if I'm wrong I'm corrected.

That said, there are a couple running theme here with this 'bouncer scenario' that the pros have picked up on. You had an uncalibrated approach, you got off on the wrong foot with the bouncer and when you had an opportunity to possibly briefly make amends at the gym, you blew it into the water (I get you thought he was talking about you, but you had the chance to step up, apologize for and maybe turn the tables regarding his respect; usually it's the right thing to do to call out when people are disrespecting you, but you don't even know if he was talking about you and if in theory he were, he wasn't identifying you and he probably had a right to be disgruntled).

I know you probably don't want this response, but I think it is the best thing if you want to be constructive about things:

Just engage people around our own age.

"From little things, big things grow."

It seems you're throwing yourself into environments in which you can't make a calibrated approach, that's okay; find an environment with a lower barrier of entry and as you gain experience you can get to where you want to be!

It seems you have the energy to do lots of approaching, alright cool; use that energy in situations where you can grow in rather than crash and burn!

- Work on fundamentals; we've all got to play with the cards we've been dealt, but it is silly not to optimize! Plus building yourself up will help foster a positive and constructive attitude towards learning game and just generally in life; that is one thing I can say from experience.

- Start out at lower barrier-of-entry environments; since you are a daygamer guessing from your username, you have a myriad of options (mall, foot traffic, etc.) You'll probably want to read this beforehand; courtesy of Chase. I'm not exactly sure how far you get with the whole process of game and I haven't the experience to guide you into specifics, but if you still feel novice perhaps entertain the idea of even just engaging girls (even guys) your age in fun, interesting conversations! If I'm wrong hopefully I'm corrected, however maybe this could be used to calibrate you!

- Be courteous; if the girl looks awkward (no eye contact, physically distant, bleak face etc.), then excuse yourself and politely eject. I feel like this solves at least 3 of your posts on here, and by doing this you can avoid the past couple of conundrums you've had. Even with my fellow Aussie @Aussiedude, it wasn't nice to call him a moron (and pretty uncalled for), and I've seen you do similar things previously. I understand that maybe you're frustrated, but once you've betrayed that emotion through anger you've already lost; in front of a set it will lower your apparent value, and in front of fellow men it will lower patience and respect.

I'd love nothing better than to see you win dude, but I think you need to master the basics and there's no shame in that; I'm a novice myself! The only reason I felt I had any authority to reply to you is because I believe your dilemma doesn't required technical game theory to solve, but rather the right attitude to attack your game education from.

Zac

 

[Will_V]

Since the incident at the nightclub and in general really, I have a big fear of approaching younger girls.

I thought I was getting over it until that happened.

But if I have a fear of it, that means I have to smash it HEAD ON, as I am never going to be as young as I am now.

Firstly, it is PRIMAL. We see an 18 year old girl (or any girl 25 or under, really) and we know, on a PRIMAL level, that she is ripe for reproduction.

But on top of that, we fear that she is going to say "How old are you" in an accusatory tone and use that as a method to take offense.

Additionally, if there are any other guys around, there is a fear they may take a moral objection and intervene.

However, if you want to get laid with 18 year old girls, you have to approach them. And it is worth it just as training because they are the hottest girls and it will desentize you to their youth and beauty.

I can't constantly approach anyone under 25 during the day because I am too scared of them being under 18.

I am now also not able to go back to the only club I can go to without renting an airbnb since I challenged the security guard for talking smack to his friend about me when I saw him in the gym, which has now cemented my face in his memory and made him probably think I'm a trouble seeker.

It just overall put a bad vibe, but I thought it was disrespectful of him to talk about me in the locker room, when we were both in a different environment.

Not to mention, I have been in the club and not seen anyone who looks over 25. So who am I to approach in that scenario? Just not talk to any of them because they are under 25!?

Is there a question here?

Either approach these girls or don't, either take the 'risk' or don't. It's up to you. If you can't handle some random stranger judging your approach you'll never get anywhere as a seducer.

From everything you've posted about your approaches it's clear that you're not doing them in a smooth and socially savvy way. Until you fix that you're likely to get a bunch of negative reactions. You already got tons of advice on what to improve in your other threads, but instead of taking it onboard you post some brand new pointless thread about how you're too scared to approach girls under 25 now.

No one else is having this problem. I run into 18-25 year olds regularly and there's no issue, because I do it in a smooth and skillful way. Even if they think I'm too old (as a mid thirties guy) there's no problem, we pleasantly part ways and that's that.

As a man you have to stand up for what you want, and face the outcome of your actions with an attitude of positivity and courage and aiming to improve each time. Everything in life, especially the good things, come with some level of risk. Girls love guys who are willing to take risks, who dominate their own reality and don't let fear and the judgement of others get in their way.

Seduction isn't just some cheat code you can activate from the comfort and safety of your bedroom to make hot girls materialize into your bed. You have to get out there and face the world, deal with what comes your way, and find a way to get her. Nothing comes for free.

You are a special kind of moron.

Consider this a warning, if you don't correct your attitude you'll be getting a ban shortly.

 

[Aussiedude]

We

You are a special kind of moron.

Well maybe I am a moron, but at least I'm getting laid.

 

[average_daygamer]

@average_daygamer,

I don't feel very qualified to reply, so hopefully if I'm wrong I'm corrected.

That said, there are a couple running theme here with this 'bouncer scenario' that the pros have picked up on. You had an uncalibrated approach, you got off on the wrong foot with the bouncer and when you had an opportunity to possibly briefly make amends at the gym, you blew it into the water (I get you thought he was talking about you, but you had the chance to step up, apologize for and maybe turn the tables regarding his respect; usually it's the right thing to do to call out when people are disrespecting you, but you don't even know if he was talking about you and if in theory he were, he wasn't identifying you and he probably had a right to be disgruntled).

I know you probably don't want this response, but I think it is the best thing if you want to be constructive about things:

Just engage people around our own age.

"From little things, big things grow."

It seems you're throwing yourself into environments in which you can't make a calibrated approach, that's okay; find an environment with a lower barrier of entry and as you gain experience you can get to where you want to be!

It seems you have the energy to do lots of approaching, alright cool; use that energy in situations where you can grow in rather than crash and burn!

- Work on fundamentals; we've all got to play with the cards we've been dealt, but it is silly not to optimize! Plus building yourself up will help foster a positive and constructive attitude towards learning game and just generally in life; that is one thing I can say from experience.

- Start out at lower barrier-of-entry environments; since you are a daygamer guessing from your username, you have a myriad of options (mall, foot traffic, etc.) You'll probably want to read this beforehand; courtesy of Chase. I'm not exactly sure how far you get with the whole process of game and I haven't the experience to guide you into specifics, but if you still feel novice perhaps entertain the idea of even just engaging girls (even guys) your age in fun, interesting conversations! If I'm wrong hopefully I'm corrected, however maybe this could be used to calibrate you!

- Be courteous; if the girl looks awkward (no eye contact, physically distant, bleak face etc.), then excuse yourself and politely eject. I feel like this solves at least 3 of your posts on here, and by doing this you can avoid the past couple of conundrums you've had. Even with my fellow Aussie @Aussiedude, it wasn't nice to call him a moron (and pretty uncalled for), and I've seen you do similar things previously. I understand that maybe you're frustrated, but once you've betrayed that emotion through anger you've already lost; in front of a set it will lower your apparent value, and in front of fellow men it will lower patience and respect.

I'd love nothing better than to see you win dude, but I think you need to master the basics and there's no shame in that; I'm a novice myself! The only reason I felt I had any authority to reply to you is because I believe your dilemma doesn't required technical game theory to solve, but rather the right attitude to attack your game education from.

Zac

It looks like you've queried chatgpt to write this.

Your suggestion about talking to old ladies is all wrong.

If I wanted to talk to 35 year olds I would just go on an app. I can't talk to younger girls on apps without lying about my age, which I don't want to do.

The whole reason I got into cold approach, especially night time approach, is the promise of these young, pretty, fun loving things that like to have sex a lot. But it seems that talking to them is like walking on egg shells. They are so delicate and on top of that, have a lot of males guarding them.

I'm not into older ladies. I am just trying to get laid with younger girls before it's too late and I have to settle for older ladies, which will be the case at some point.

This is all so wrong, cold approach used to be promoted as the way to get hotter, younger girls but now it's not even that.

 

[bkw]

This is my biggest sticking point, always has been. There is truth in "desensitization" to approaching younger, this I have experienced. Sometimes I really have to ask myself if they are legit too young for my taste, or if that's just an excuse. It can be a blurry line for me to distinguish, especially how desensitization works in that it becomes more "OK" in my mind the more I do it.

I think there is a point where I look at a girl and I legit think she's too young for my taste. This changes, but right now it's probably 18-20 year old range. However, if she's a more mature-looking 18-20 year old, I'll likely go for it.

But putting all that stuff aside, if you're legit interested in girls that age then they are legal, and so it's legal, and technically there isn't really anything "wrong" with it. You really have to know for yourself what your age-range is you prefer, then just say fuck everyone else if that's what you want.

What is holding you back, beyond the judgment of others? Are you embarrassed to date a girl that age? Is it something in you saying "it's too weird"? Or is it the judgment of what others think? Because, the judgment of others is easy for me to overcome because I say fuck what they think IF I WANT IT. However, for me, the hardest part is trying to feel OK with it myself--that's where I have to really think about it and dig deeper.

 

[bkw]

Is there a question here?

Either approach these girls or don't, either take the 'risk' or don't. It's up to you. If you can't handle some random stranger judging your approach you'll never get anywhere as a seducer.

From everything you've posted about your approaches it's clear that you're not doing them in a smooth and socially savvy way. Until you fix that you're likely to get a bunch of negative reactions. You already got tons of advice on what to improve in your other threads, but instead of taking it onboard you post some brand new pointless thread about how you're too scared to approach girls under 25 now.

I'm not positive, but I think somewhere I read the OP might be on the autism spectrum? The OP can correct me if I'm wrong, but that could explain why he's having difficulty. But yeah, I agree with you in the sense that if someone asks for advice, receives lots of advice, then tests out none of them, then complains about things not changing, is kind of nonsensical.

 

[DarkKnight]

I once listened to Matt Cross channel about this, and he said something which cut to the core of this problem. This is about entitlement. Because you dont feel entitled , you dont dare to talk to these girls.

Also in general young girls tend to like me a lot, hell I find them more unfiltered and more natural in their behavior unless they are heavily socially conditioned . You can just talk to them without throwing your heart out there you know, just see how they react.

Im just kind of looking at the screen now and trying to figure out why this is a problem. Perhaps this is just approach anxiety in disguise?

 

[gameboy]

I was going to give some simple advice but then I saw this

You are a special kind of moron.

and this

Your suggestion about talking to old ladies is all wrong.

so why bother.

 

[average_daygamer]

This is my biggest sticking point, always has been. There is truth in "desensitization" to approaching younger, this I have experienced. Sometimes I really have to ask myself if they are legit too young for my taste, or if that's just an excuse. It can be a blurry line for me to distinguish, especially how desensitization works in that it becomes more "OK" in my mind the more I do it.

I think there is a point where I look at a girl and I legit think she's too young for my taste. This changes, but right now it's probably 18-20 year old range. However, if she's a more mature-looking 18-20 year old, I'll likely go for it.

But putting all that stuff aside, if you're legit interested in girls that age then they are legal, and so it's legal, and technically there isn't really anything "wrong" with it. You really have to know for yourself what your age-range is you prefer, then just say fuck everyone else if that's what you want.

What is holding you back, beyond the judgment of others? Are you embarrassed to date a girl that age? Is it something in you saying "it's too weird"? Or is it the judgment of what others think? Because, the judgment of others is easy for me to overcome because I say fuck what they think IF I WANT IT. However, for me, the hardest part is trying to feel OK with it myself--that's where I have to really think about it and dig deeper.

That's a good post, more in the vein of something I can relate to. We are not just in pickup to get laid, but it is also a form of pushing ourselves mentally.

A weird situation actually occured Irl for me to make this thread.

I saw the security guard from the club in one town (where I used to hit the club for nightgame), show up in the gym in another town (where I go for daygame). I was on a workout session before going out to daygame and realised, once I had changed, that I was wearing the same shorts and t shirt from that night in the club. Then I hear him ranting about paedophiles talking to 20 year olds etc and assume he was talking about me

So he goes into the shower, I think "fuck, how did he recognise me in a completely different context". So I get wound up about it and decide to confront him after his shower and tell him not to talk about me to his friend when I am in the changing rooms and can overhear.

I want to emphasize, this was a completely chance encounter, that isn't even my regular gym.

The weird thing is, before I even knew the security guard was in that gym, I see this chick training, standing at the cable machines, who looks in her early 20s, but then I start getting doubts. I almost approach her and say something, but pretend to sit down at the machine next to it instead and try it out.

The encounter from the club got to me and I thought the girls I approached were around that age. Which then put me in doubt of approaching a similarly aged girl in the gym.

So by confronting the security guard, I felt like I was taking back control of the situation. But now I don't see the point in going to that club anymore and that's the only one where I can go without having to book an Airbnb which I can't afford right now.

On the club and age subject, there are also girls in the club which I can't approach as well. Like I just can't, there are quite a few that look well underaged in there. I definitely agree with you, at what point is it an excuse? I have seen girls in the club who look like they are in their early to mid teens, but do you really want to get comfortable with approaching girls that look that young. There is just a point where I can't approach.

But for the majority of late teens or early 20s, we should feel suitably entitled to approach them. The ones I approached in the club where the bouncer intervened looked early 20s to me.

There are other people their age in the club (a majority) and a few older guys lurking around.

That was the reasoning the bouncer was using when talking to his friend about the incident a few weeks ago. He has to keep the peace and if an older guy is seen talking to 20 year old girls, that can disrupt the peace when males of their age get jealous.

As for what is holding me back? In the club instance, it's interference from the security team, they keep a close eye on things and if they think you are unworthy, they will definitely use the age gap as a justification.

Also in daygame, I just can't risk it. A daytime approach is such a big commitment, I don't want to accidentally approach underaged.

Which is why I was trying nightgame but the security guards are such an obstacle if you are serious about getting reps in.

 

[average_daygamer]

I once listened to Matt Cross channel about this, and he said something which cut to the core of this problem. This is about entitlement. Because you dont feel entitled , you dont dare to talk to these girls.

Also in general young girls tend to like me a lot, hell I find them more unfiltered and more natural in their behavior unless they are heavily socially conditioned . You can just talk to them without throwing your heart out there you know, just see how they react.

Im just kind of looking at the screen now and trying to figure out why this is a problem. Perhaps this is just approach anxiety in disguise?

Exactly, I don't feel entitled.

I have tried approaching to feel more entitled, but the bouncer intervened and used the age gap as an excuse.

That's why I can't do it.

Well, if younger girls like you a lot, that gives you a huge advantage.

For those of us that they generally don't like, it's the filtering game we have to play that attracts blowouts and causes these problems where we then don't feel like we can go back to a venue and get on with our approaches without being stopped.

I would say it is approach anxiety, yes, but the younger the girl and the more complex the situation, the higher the approach anxiety.

So being in a nightclub solo full of an 18-24 year old age group and trying to make approaches without the bouncer intervening is very tricky and nerve wracking.

It also bleeds through into my daygame, because when I was in the gym I saw a girl I wanted to speak to, but I didn't because I started having doubts as a result of the incident a few weeks ago.

 

[average_daygamer]

I was going to give some simple advice but then I saw this

and this

so why bother.

Come on man, he was coming on this thread making silly jokes.

It's annoying when you see the red notification icon and think someone has posted content of value, then it turns out to be a shit post.

I haven't insulted anyone who has posted a worthwhile reply here.

 

[DarkKnight]

Exactly, I don't feel entitled.

I have tried approaching to feel more entitled, but the bouncer intervened and used the age gap as an excuse.

That's why I can't do it.

Well, if younger girls like you a lot, that gives you a huge advantage.

For those of us that they generally don't like, it's the filtering game we have to play that attracts blowouts and causes these problems where we then don't feel like we can go back to a venue and get on with our approaches without being stopped.

I would say it is approach anxiety, yes, but the younger the girl and the more complex the situation, the higher the approach anxiety.

So being in a nightclub solo full of an 18-24 year old age group and trying to make approaches without the bouncer intervening is very tricky and nerve wracking.

It also bleeds through into my daygame, because when I was in the gym I saw a girl I wanted to speak to, but I didn't because I started having doubts as a result of the incident a few weeks ago.

Make it a pride thing. So you are not going to engage and bang young hot babes anymore due to one douchey bouncer?

 

[Zac]

It looks like you've queried chatgpt to write this.

Your suggestion about talking to old ladies is all wrong.

If I wanted to talk to 35 year olds I would just go on an app. I can't talk to younger girls on apps without lying about my age, which I don't want to do.

The whole reason I got into cold approach, especially night time approach, is the promise of these young, pretty, fun loving things that like to have sex a lot. But it seems that talking to them is like walking on egg shells. They are so delicate and on top of that, have a lot of males guarding them.

I'm not into older ladies. I am just trying to get laid with younger girls before it's too late and I have to settle for older ladies, which will be the case at some point.

This is all so wrong, cold approach used to be promoted as the way to get hotter, younger girls but now it's not even that.

It seems you've possibly misinterpreted my point (I may have worded it misleadingly; my apologies); even if you're not interested in women your age, the idea is to start your game in easier situations and grow towards younger girls.

If I'm starting off with game, generally I would initially practice with people that aren't going to be an overwhelming challenge, develop my skill set, and then advance towards the category of girl that you like (in your case, younger girls).

If you spend time learning basic calibration with people that you are less anxious with and thay have more life experience, you could return to younger girls with less fear!

The essence of my rhetoric is this; If you can't run game in an easier scenario, say a woman your age that is amicable with you , how can one expect success with a high-demand subset?

I could be wrong (we have many experts here that humble me); but I do want you to understand that my point is by no means to pidgeon hole you with women your own age, but to suggest that you invest efforts in learning game in an environment that encourages growth of skills rather than attempting to build Rome in a day.

Then perhaps your luck with younger girls will turn around.

I have read some of the pros here mention things about my generation like "this used to be a good idea, but it won't work with gen Z"; I can't say how much this factor comes in to play...

PS
I don't use AI; though I think that the way I naturally write gives a slightly formal, robotic impression (use of lists, optimistic tone that sounds like Siri, etc.), perhaps that's why I have that 'ChatGPT semblance'. Hopefully I can improve!

 

[DarkKnight]

It seems you've possibly misinterpreted my point (I may have worded it misleadingly; my apologies); even if you're not interested in women your age, the idea is to start your game in easier situations and grow towards younger girls.

double edged sword. he can condition himself to get used to old women plus given he is not that experienced. Older women are going to automatically going to shame him for going for younger women. EVEN me who is obviously devil may cry get that nonsense over me. But our friend here is not exactly prepared. He just needs to dab in both, and get his fundamentals handled.