- Joined
- Feb 19, 2014
- Messages
- 41
So me and this girl are in the same program and finally started talking to each other on a field trip. We connected so fast and would hang around each other so fast. Due to my emotional immaturity and the fact that I have been dating another girl for 2 years, I didnt realized we were both heavily attracted to each other. 3 months after we first met she invites back to her place and where flirting heavily. When we got to her room it finally sank into my head what was going on. I panicked cause i didn't want our relationship that way and two, I have never been so emotionally connected to a girl before having sex with her. Therefore the rush of intamacy + my strong bond with her made me panic. So she attempted to undo my pants but i kinda backed off, and i attempted half-assly to get something going but failed misrebly because i was so out of it. I left next morning with nothing to show for it.
Next couple of days she hints that she wants us to hook-up by being very suggestive, but i ignore it. Then 5 days later we got to a pub and she makes out with my housemate. and honestly that was probably one of the most painful moments of my life. I was soo pissed and angry and ran home to my girlfriends who i tried to fuck but couldnt get it up. Next day i was very passive aggressive to her. she finally asked me if I was jealous. i said no you can makeout with whomever you want. and then she said its ok to be jealous. In that instant I got soooo mad because i finally realized she used my housemate to get to me emotionally. Later i told her that we can never be together because I really like my gf and i asked her if she used my housemate to get to me. She said no. Which pissed me off even more. So we go our seperate ways.
The next couple of months i ignored and she kept trying to get my attention again. finally i realized that i missed the vibe that we had so i try to hang out with her but it was never really the same. i got really distant with my gf so we broke up since we had completely different schedules. i tried to hook up with the other girl but everytime i found ourselves getting close, i would make an excuse and run away. Now i have hooked up with other girls, but deep down i still want the other girl.
I know this girl still wants me because she has yet to cease enticing me visually with yoga pants and getting us to work in labs together so she could show off her assets. Now all this time I thought I was being a pussy for not following through with her, but then i realized that I can hook up with other girls and not with her.
I am beginning to realize because of the emotional trauma i have been with this girl, I may have a fear of intimacy or getting close to her. How do I get rid of it because we both want each other, i just get scared everytime we get close. Also i do have a history of people hurting me get what they want out of me. My high school gf handcuffed me and r**** me when i wanted to break up with me for example.
Next couple of days she hints that she wants us to hook-up by being very suggestive, but i ignore it. Then 5 days later we got to a pub and she makes out with my housemate. and honestly that was probably one of the most painful moments of my life. I was soo pissed and angry and ran home to my girlfriends who i tried to fuck but couldnt get it up. Next day i was very passive aggressive to her. she finally asked me if I was jealous. i said no you can makeout with whomever you want. and then she said its ok to be jealous. In that instant I got soooo mad because i finally realized she used my housemate to get to me emotionally. Later i told her that we can never be together because I really like my gf and i asked her if she used my housemate to get to me. She said no. Which pissed me off even more. So we go our seperate ways.
The next couple of months i ignored and she kept trying to get my attention again. finally i realized that i missed the vibe that we had so i try to hang out with her but it was never really the same. i got really distant with my gf so we broke up since we had completely different schedules. i tried to hook up with the other girl but everytime i found ourselves getting close, i would make an excuse and run away. Now i have hooked up with other girls, but deep down i still want the other girl.
I know this girl still wants me because she has yet to cease enticing me visually with yoga pants and getting us to work in labs together so she could show off her assets. Now all this time I thought I was being a pussy for not following through with her, but then i realized that I can hook up with other girls and not with her.
I am beginning to realize because of the emotional trauma i have been with this girl, I may have a fear of intimacy or getting close to her. How do I get rid of it because we both want each other, i just get scared everytime we get close. Also i do have a history of people hurting me get what they want out of me. My high school gf handcuffed me and r**** me when i wanted to break up with me for example.
