fear responder types

[archimedes]

I hate the chase frame - being applied to me. it is universal across domains, not just dating. it is demeaning. i won't say humilitating but it is demeaning and beneath a man of dignity and respect. So...

One can use tricks, techniques, core value improvement, presentation etc, chase frames, but often it just seems and feels like things cometo a standoff.

Now here's the twist.

I am growing in rental units- up to 20 and i acquired two lower income properties and too many people are being assholes and trying to make me chase them down for their rent. I have never had this happen this much in all my years- and i've been doing it about 8 years as in the last 3/4 months- and it loads my mental bandwidth.


So I am going to send out notices more regularily, that start the eviction countdown. They are all nice in person and most do eventually end up paying but it is the emotional bandwidth. I need respect.

It's the same with women. A man needs power to compell for what he's due. I'm not talking about being Nebuchadnezzar II or Ashurbanipal or Senerachib or anything like that but this got me thinking.

There may be people who only respond to fear.

There is that old question, is it better to be loved or feared? I don't think in those terms. that's too much thought for me. That's too binary and too categorical in general but I will say this- it seems like there are people who don't wake up and give your just due until they experience fear and pain or such specific forms of pressure- it is the only signal they recognize..

..and it seems sick and it forces one to be careful how one proceeds- to stay mechanical, within the bounds of law and order.

Still, one needs to often make certain people a bit afraid in order to bring harmony and order to the world. that is all i want- truth, harmony and order.

So it just seems that among renters and women there is just this (inherently sick and toxic) fear responder type, that only fear gets them moving and talking.

In movies and shows, the bad guys are always shown with guns- and shown being bad-- and there is that, but do they ever make a movie out of passive flakes and let downs and the other side of things? That is minnesota too btw. I am planning my mid-term escape from this sink hole of a culture.

 

[MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla]

I hate the chase frame - being applied to me. it is universal across domains, not just dating. it is demeaning. i won't say humilitating but it is demeaning and beneath a man of dignity and respect. So...

One can use tricks, techniques, core value improvement, presentation etc, chase frames, but often it just seems and feels like things cometo a standoff.

Now here's the twist.

I am growing in rental units- up to 20 and i acquired two lower income properties and too many people are being assholes and trying to make me chase them down for their rent. I have never had this happen this much in all my years- and i've been doing it about 8 years as in the last 3/4 months- and it loads my mental bandwidth.


So I am going to send out notices more regularily, that start the eviction countdown. They are all nice in person and most do eventually end up paying but it is the emotional bandwidth. I need respect.

It's the same with women. A man needs power to compell for what he's due. I'm not talking about being Nebuchadnezzar II or Ashurbanipal or Senerachib or anything like that but this got me thinking.

There may be people who only respond to fear.

There is that old question, is it better to be loved or feared? I don't think in those terms. that's too much thought for me. That's too binary and too categorical in general but I will say this- it seems like there are people who don't wake up and give your just due until they experience fear and pain or such specific forms of pressure- it is the only signal they recognize..

..and it seems sick and it forces one to be careful how one proceeds- to stay mechanical, within the bounds of law and order.

Still, one needs to often make certain people a bit afraid in order to bring harmony and order to the world. that is all i want- truth, harmony and order.

So it just seems that among renters and women there is just this (inherently sick and toxic) fear responder type, that only fear gets them moving and talking.

In movies and shows, the bad guys are always shown with guns- and shown being bad-- and there is that, but do they ever make a movie out of passive flakes and let downs and the other side of things? That is minnesota too btw. I am planning my mid-term escape from this sink hole of a culture.

Weirdly dealt with this to a lesser extent recently. Two examples;

For many of the concerts I originally was going too I’d get two tickets. One for me and one for date or if not a date friend.

I stopped the habit of getting two tickets in the new year because a lot of the women I was planning out on dates were cancelling last minute. But yesterday was one of those tickets which I had gotten last year which the person *[This one was a friend] last minute cancelled. I was pretty pissed off, *[Though still was a great concert and they still paid for the ticket] but from a respect frame or even just a trying to go through with a basic plan the situation was and is super annoying.

Which brings me further back to the party I recently did. Here there is a thing called the city flake where pretty much there is a culture of cancelling things last minute. For the party I invited about forty people, twenty showed up which was fine but I’ve not talked to the other twenty people in weeks. They know I’m pissed at them. So I’ve sort of done a soft next with that crowd.

Anyways I’ve found it strange how unreliable people have become in my social circle. I do sometimes think it comes from the lack of fear *[Lack of consequences] but then I’m also well off so a good empathetic hand is sometimes required to be used. These people are required to go to work every day and I’m not so I can understand where the flaking comes from. However In saying that I’m still pissed at those twenty people and I can definitely hold a grudge.

My recommendation from a business standpoint is always to try to automate processes. So it’s not my problem as much as it is somebody else’s. I’m not sure what management firms for properties charge in Minnesota but here it’s a modest fee and it works quite well.

 

[KnownUniverse]

are you regularly cold approaching? How many approaches are you doing per week?

 

[archimedes]

Weirdly dealt with this to a lesser extent recently. Two examples;

For many of the concerts I originally was going too I’d get two tickets. One for me and one for date or if not a date friend.

I stopped the habit of getting two tickets in the new year because a lot of the women I was planning out on dates were cancelling last minute. But yesterday was one of those tickets which I had gotten last year which the person *[This one was a friend] last minute cancelled. I was pretty pissed off, *[Though still was a great concert and they still paid for the ticket] but from a respect frame or even just a trying to go through with a basic plan the situation was and is super annoying.

Which brings me further back to the party I recently did. Here there is a thing called the city flake where pretty much there is a culture of cancelling things last minute. For the party I invited about forty people, twenty showed up which was fine but I’ve not talked to the other twenty people in weeks. They know I’m pissed at them. So I’ve sort of done a soft next with that crowd.

Anyways I’ve found it strange how unreliable people have become in my social circle. I do sometimes think it comes from the lack of fear *[Lack of consequences] but then I’m also well off so a good empathetic hand is sometimes required to be used. These people are required to go to work every day and I’m not so I can understand where the flaking comes from. However In saying that I’m still pissed at those twenty people and I can definitely hold a grudge.

My recommendation from a business standpoint is always to try to automate processes. So it’s not my problem as much as it is somebody else’s. I’m not sure what management firms for properties charge in Minnesota but here it’s a modest fee and it works quite well.

Thank you i can totally relate. It is fair and good to be angry even --- at least to a point. The world wants us nice and complacent and limp. The world tries to categorize and analyze us. Fuck the world.. we are multi-dimensional. Overused word but the world is toxic

It is a different thing to produce consequences.. do we even sting? I want to be able to sting, produce regret and reform in people, but that's only a wish. People have options.. or people are broken. It's just stuff to think about. As for tenants, yeah i am automating and developing systems as i scale up and also rent down. I didn't start out this way. I am definitely made not born. My sympathy goes only so far as respect is shown, but then the cities and states make rules for how you run your own business so you have to work within that but it is doable. it is still a nice supplementary income. It's just you see games and for this i don't it taking mental bandwidth.

For relationships or dating--- it is a numbers game but that's not good enough, not for me- not when there are good enough numbers to work with. it seems there are already too few good people.

 

[archimedes]

are you regularly cold approaching? How many approaches are you doing per week?

kind of a non sequitur but no not really but i would love to. I don't know where to go, where there are people, good people, approachable people where i can enjoy myself. Everything seems dead.

I want to go to clubs at some point and get erotic, Dionysian but only when i feel powerful and integrated.

I strike up conversations whenever i can- coffee shops, waiting rooms, wherever. I'm smart, spontaneous but people have things up their asses in this town. I go ballroom dancing and it's only oldies- i swear average age probably over 60, maybe upper 60s. What the hell happened to life?

I want to know where to go to meet people- especially where i get a high value for my time or i actually enjoy being there. Rock climbing been there done that.

I want to live in montreal or california or even nyc or settle down in montana. really anywhere i get traction. i want to figure out how to become place independent as i think this place sucks and gaslights a man.