Feedback for a date

[Lawliet]

This is sort of a field report but it's only a snippet so I'll put it here.

Main theme: women's past and how we show them "we get it" so they lower their guards and show us that sexual beast of theirs.
WOMEN'S PAST / SHOW YOU "GET IT"

On a date of mine, I directed the conversation (clumsily but I'll keep chiselling!) to hooking up and nightstands. She was uncomfortable (inexperience?).

Anyway, I dropped the "Everyone had a nightstand before" from "Women's Forgotten Past" article.
She maintained her neutral expression, and didn't blink an eye. I guess she found it completely irrelevant to her. Then, I thought, "maybe there's more, I better show her I get it."
I searched through my mind about that article how to show her I get it, but forgot it myself.
So I went explicit. I directed the conversation to sex and women.

Me: I just see women as human. They (pause) like everyone else, have their own needs.
Her: nods
Me: I'm sure you'll come across it eventually. Every women does.
Change topic.

Then after awhile,
Me: You know that look of yours gives off this very sexy vibe...

Feel like a dad explaining to his son about puberty...terrible I presume? It gets worse.
She still didn't open up, so I went more blatant.
As we walked to the bus,
Me: The reason why you're so prude isn't because you're religious right?
Her: Oh no, nope.

I personally thought that was terrible, but am super thankful for experiencing that early on.
And your website helping me with my learning curve.
I probably wouldn't be going on dates without you and your team.
What are your thoughts?

Re: Informational date template
One more thing, that was an informational date. She never came out again.

Do we still go for first date sex for all types of dates and not certain ones, such as informational ones? I went to downtown with her, but the washroom was busy as ever or else I could pull her into a stall. I imagine locking it too but it doesn't feel right. I also doubted to pull because her emotional aren't cresting. Side note was she also told me she had to buy groceries an hour later.

If I could get some logistics advice (my pad were not available or her pad) too, would be great!

Thanks for reading all that!

Ciao,
Lawliet

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

I've started doing this too on first dates, I didn't know I was using "Sexual framing" when I talk about how women love sex too/slut shaming is stupid etc. but it seemed to work really well when I went on my date with the hot blonde on Tuesday.

I think it depends on how you bring it up though, you can't just bring it up in a way that doesn't apply to her, I don't have enough experience on this yet but will report more on dates from tonight/tomorrow night and next week.

 

[Lawliet]

Thanks! Do you think my sexual framing was done correctly?

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

I think you brought it up to soon without enough rapport built already, I did that too for a bit (or used too much kino), so I really backed off a lot and try to work it in to my conversation in a more calibrated way.

Liiiike with hot blonde, it was after we'd already discussed some needy guy that had pretty much stalked her, then we talked about how she grew up in a religious household but got rebellious and started going for bad boys, then I just slipped it in that "everyone has a naughty side "

 

[windsofchange]

I think trackrunner has it right. You may have been pushing for too much too quick. It's something I can definitely relate to as well, believe me. You read all this cool information online that sounds practical, that sounds like it'd be good to try out. But you try to do too much too quickly. As hard as it is to believe these days, there are still some girls who just don't want to open up / are inexperienced, and trying to force it too quickly by bringing it up before they're ready will cause them to close up and label you as the 'creepy guy'. It happens.

Sometimes you've got to upgrade the conversation as a natural progression. How was the date going before you attempted the sexual framing? Was she into you, touching you? Were you already having a push-pull / playful vibe? Had started a bit of deep dive? Or were you stuck on casual small talk with a platonic frame?

And how were your nonverbals when you tried it? Were you laid back, or were you giving her too much attention (full body turned towards her, etc)?

Sometimes you may want to try something a bit more indirect. Like say, you end up talking about having fun, drinking and hanging out. People enjoying themselves when they're young. Use that type of phrasing just to gauge how she reacts. If she's complying and vibing with it, then you can gently bring in the one night stand, etc. If she doesn't though, you can drop it and move onto some other conversation and possibly try again later if you feel its worth it.

Cheers and keep approaching.