- Joined
- Jan 7, 2015
- Messages
- 786
So I'm not sure how to explain this. But I feel like I'm building a wall that is growing bigger and bigger every day to shield myself rather than express or tell what I truly want to say. Or sometimes it even gets so bad that I say nothing when all I want to do is saying something. I'm not sure what I'm shielding myself from though. Examples:
1: It could be I want to approach a girl, but I say nothing. We just pass each other even though we have eye contact, and I miss an opportunity. (I have a long way to go regarding cold approaching, no denying that)
2: Yesterday, in a group of people from work, I wanted to say one thing to contribute to the conversation, but I ended up joking too much instead, only looking at things from the fun angle. I noticed as we were separating that I had taken things too far and been too unserious. It would probably have been better if I had shut up completely or told one joke only.
3: Even when I visit my family these days, I rarely say anything when all I want is to have some conversation with them.
Number 2 is something I would have done a lot before my self improvement journey because I felt the insecure kind of tension around people. I rarely feel that same tension anymore.
I can't help but wonder and worry about what is up with me though. Am I becoming socially anxious? Am I afraid to express what is really going on inside my head? Or am I just insecure without realizing it?
And even if something is off with me - WHY is it happening?
In my head, I feel like "well, just say what you want to say" would be the best solution. But if it were that simple, wouldn't I already be doing that? I thought I only had this problem with cold approaching, but now I see a pattern extended to more than that. Maybe 80-90 % of my days is me communicating the opposite of what I want to communicate.
Can you guys give some insight on this and perhaps offer me some tips to try out?
1: It could be I want to approach a girl, but I say nothing. We just pass each other even though we have eye contact, and I miss an opportunity. (I have a long way to go regarding cold approaching, no denying that)
2: Yesterday, in a group of people from work, I wanted to say one thing to contribute to the conversation, but I ended up joking too much instead, only looking at things from the fun angle. I noticed as we were separating that I had taken things too far and been too unserious. It would probably have been better if I had shut up completely or told one joke only.
3: Even when I visit my family these days, I rarely say anything when all I want is to have some conversation with them.
Number 2 is something I would have done a lot before my self improvement journey because I felt the insecure kind of tension around people. I rarely feel that same tension anymore.
I can't help but wonder and worry about what is up with me though. Am I becoming socially anxious? Am I afraid to express what is really going on inside my head? Or am I just insecure without realizing it?
And even if something is off with me - WHY is it happening?
In my head, I feel like "well, just say what you want to say" would be the best solution. But if it were that simple, wouldn't I already be doing that? I thought I only had this problem with cold approaching, but now I see a pattern extended to more than that. Maybe 80-90 % of my days is me communicating the opposite of what I want to communicate.
Can you guys give some insight on this and perhaps offer me some tips to try out?
