Feeling shitty if current gf not good enough

[Rain]

If I'm with a 7 lets say, turn on tv/walk into shops, and there is someone even hotter and its like what am I doing with a 7, I am wasting time I should be with a 9 despite there being a good connection with the 7 women. Then I feel shitty because I feel like me and/or woman I'm with not good enough. Is this me judging or worrying about judgement from others?

Maybe I always want what I can't/don't have, or view it as way more desireable? eg I have had some oneitis, but when I was with these women, I'd want other women more. So is that because they are actually more beautiful[eg a 9 at the shops vs a 7 with me], or is it simply because I don't have them and I only feel the most attraciton for someone I dont have? Or is it both? I may also feel a bit uneasy if I imagine a relationship with a 9, so I could be afraid of relationships themselves as well.

I asked a guy I went to school with years ago, he liked same women as me but married a fat chick. I asked why you with her and not a hot one? He says "its not about that". I met a few fat chicks, most I didn't like, but one actually wasn't too bad, and maybe there was a connection there, but I didn't hookup with her. I know 3other guys with fat chicks, and they have no general anxiety that I know of and don't seem unhappy.

 

[Sandman]

If you're not satisfied with your current girlfriend why not drop her and look for a better one?

About having a fat chick as a gf: If you don't think you'll find a better option and are heavily interested in a girl you'll find that you "love" her despite her heavy (pun intended) flaws.

My ex had a friend like that. I despised her. She was fat but flirty. Her bf loved her and followed her like a puppy. The guy was not ugly or or fat or anything. The guy did everything for her yet she treated him like shit. He could not add girls on her social media yet she added men all the time (me included). I knew she flirted texted with other guys. One time four of us were sitting at a cafe and there were cute waitresses. She started to humilate her bf like she was saying "oh are you checking them out?", "how can you look at other girls?", "would you like it if I checked out other men, like the muscular guy over there?". I was like GROW A PAIR DUDE! Meanwhile I was joking well they're hot cut him slack and my ex intervened yeah mrre can look at other girls, even I think they are beautiful. Actually the guy was not doing anything at all lol. The guy actually seemed happy with the girl most of the time though, she could be sweet if she wanted to (probs to her for her game btw).

Maybe it's not the same situation but just an example of what being heavily invested in a girl and thinking you can't do better can turn men into.

 

[Richard]

Keep in mind, women are really good at getting men to fall for them; even chicks who are on the heavier side, etc. still know how to play the game in a way that entices the average guy and gets them to commit.

I can guarantee that if you take the Average Joe off the street and set him up on a date with a fat chick who has HIV, 5 kids with all different fathers, and is wanted by the police for identify theft then she'd still be able to find a way to get that Joe to sleep with her and eventually commit to her. Women are much more socially attuned than the average guy and it's not to be underestimated.

To your case - it's natural to want to keep improving in your life, quality and type of women is no different in that regard. I'd throw away using 1-10 as a scale though, measuring women numerically creates a cognitive problem and can fuck up your view a little bit. In any case, if you feel like your girlfriend isn't good enough, in whatever regard, then I'd say look for the girl who rocks your boat. Doesn't seem like you've reached your goal in regards to seduction so don't settle for less than you feel you deserve and if's an ego-problem then eventually that'll erode away as you start to date higher quality chicks.

 

[Rain]

Just to clarify, I'm curently single, but I do imagine settling down and try and see how I feel, along with how I felt when I was seeing 7s briefly in the past. Certainly yes, being invested can certainly possibly cloud judgement if they pull away vs when in the moment.

How to solve the cognitive problem of using the 1-10 scale? Would that be solved by saying they are more attractive or less attractive, or do we just say they are or are not attractive, period? The problem is, eg woman I was seeing a few years ago had nice tits, but I maybe wanted a woman with tits and ass, which would get a higher "number" on the number scale... or in other words, more attractive. But if you want both tits and ass, would only that then would be classified as 'attractive' and a woman with just tits or just ass is unattractive, if we scrapped the number scale?

 

[Inbocca]

I feel like you're thinking about it too much. I never used to use the 1-10 scale even before GC, what I've always done is "do I wanna pork her?", if yes, "how much?" If a lot, she's a 3 (the top tier), if sorta she's a 2 (lower tier). I let my primal brain break down her attributes for me.

 

[Seppuku]

Hey Rain,

I second what Richard says. Girls game is to get men to commit. Men's game should be to be able to dodge commitment requests. They can still commit *if* they desire so, and with whom *they* choose.

But I'm going to give you more food for thought.

What is a "hot girl"? Most likely you mean a girl that dresses super sexy, that every other guys would love to steal away from you, and walking with her by your side would make you feel proud. That's essentially an ego thing: make you feel good. Now the thing to keep in mind is, the "hot girl" look can be very artificial. You can have an average looking girl (i.e. when she is naked), but able to dress up and look smoking hot. Girls are very good at that - especially the fat ones. Conversely, you can have girls with a very good looking body, that dress "average". So the external appearance is not necessarily an indicator of how beautiful she will be once you take the clothes and makeup off.

I would differentiate "social appearance" (how she looks wen she's dressed up and out in the world) from her actual beauty (how she looks when she's naked). The first is good for the ego boost in front of friends and family. The second is good for keeping your dick super hard at bed time. These are sometimes the same girl, and sometimes not. I can't tell you the number of times where the inside of the package was not as promising as it initially looked, once I removed the nice wrapping. And also the times when the inside was actually much better than anticipated because of average clothes.

Now, her actual or external beauty is not all. She can be an average beauty but give you an awesome experience in bed. Or you can have a beautiful doll who doesn't have a clear idea of what to do with a dick.

Another factor is, how cool is she to be with? Is she going to start making requests and boss you around once she is sure she gets you? Is she coming with you because it's good to show everyone that *she* has such a great boyfriend (another ego thing)? Or is she with you because she just love to be in your company and can't wait to see you? Does she gives you a peaceful and loving relationship? Or is it drama time each time you two meet?

So there are much more factors at play than her external look. In the end, it's about what really matters to you.

Seppuku
PS. The girl I kept the longest (and still going on), is average social appearance, beautiful body naked, good sex experience, and extremely relaxed relationship. How hot she looks dressed up in the world is my least concern. What other people are going to think with her walking by my side I don't care. I keep our meetings intimate anyway, in my place, and I get to see her beautiful naked body. But well, that's my own preference. Other people will have other preferences, and that's fine.