- Joined
- Jul 17, 2013
- Messages
- 1,539
So, this is a bit of a tricky subject. I'm 40 and am lucky enough to have been in LTRs with wonderful, beautiful women practically all my adult life (which I am counting from when I turned 20). That's 20 years of serious relationships with breaks in-between that have been generally short and never more than 2 years.
That means firstly that I am very fortunate and should count my blessings, and secondly that I am clearly "wired" for relationships and feel naturally happier when I am in a stable situation with a suitable woman. (Not all of the women have been "suitable" by any means—which is why I ended up here—but that's a different story!)
The odd thing is, I sometimes get feelings of inferiority. I've done a bit of self-analysis over the past year or so and realize that although these sentiments are quite varied, they all fall into two broad categories:
Now here's the odd thing. I had a serious girlfriend in college who was super-intelligent (PhD) and sporty in a wide variety of ways (skiing, water-skiing, boating, you name it—typical California girl) and yet this feeling never arose. And I was married for 12 years to a very socially outgoing, physically fit woman and again the feeling never arose. I actually felt "superior" to both these women in my own mind despite their many talents and beauty.
Yet when I think back to my baby years, at age 20, and the first girl I seriously dated, I had this feeling in spades. And the strangest thing is that I have it again in my current relationship.
I am emotionally aware enough to realize that it is probably not healthy and that I need to get rid of it somehow as it could be damaging to the relationship and/or myself, but it is a mystery to me why it occurs with some women and not others.
Has anyone had a similar experience? Or can you throw light on why this happens and whether anything needs to be done about it?
Thank you,
Marty
That means firstly that I am very fortunate and should count my blessings, and secondly that I am clearly "wired" for relationships and feel naturally happier when I am in a stable situation with a suitable woman. (Not all of the women have been "suitable" by any means—which is why I ended up here—but that's a different story!)
The odd thing is, I sometimes get feelings of inferiority. I've done a bit of self-analysis over the past year or so and realize that although these sentiments are quite varied, they all fall into two broad categories:
- I am unable to follow the plot of a movie, play, musical, book etc. without having a synopsis explained to me (and often not even then) yet the woman seems to "get it" straight away
- The woman is flexible, coordinated, graceful, accurate etc. at some particular physical activity/activities and I am not
Now here's the odd thing. I had a serious girlfriend in college who was super-intelligent (PhD) and sporty in a wide variety of ways (skiing, water-skiing, boating, you name it—typical California girl) and yet this feeling never arose. And I was married for 12 years to a very socially outgoing, physically fit woman and again the feeling never arose. I actually felt "superior" to both these women in my own mind despite their many talents and beauty.
Yet when I think back to my baby years, at age 20, and the first girl I seriously dated, I had this feeling in spades. And the strangest thing is that I have it again in my current relationship.
I am emotionally aware enough to realize that it is probably not healthy and that I need to get rid of it somehow as it could be damaging to the relationship and/or myself, but it is a mystery to me why it occurs with some women and not others.
Has anyone had a similar experience? Or can you throw light on why this happens and whether anything needs to be done about it?
Thank you,
Marty
