Feels I did the work for someone else

[Gsi2810]

Literally reporting from the club bathroom. The night started out like this- I opened two girls. Judged their interest, chose one. Tried to involve the other girl a bit here and there. We eventually went to the smoke room another guy hit up the second girl (she really liked him). I worked on my girl, deep dive, sex gambits that having sex doesn’t make her a slut (usuals). Was touching her well too. Kissed her on the cheek a few times. She kept on talking about morals and shit that she has certain limits (of course this is all garbage and I knew it and time would prove it too). At a time she was resisting too much so I cooled off and became social again. The girls went to the bathroom (social reset of girls). 30-45 minutes or so go by.

I keep hitting on other girls no luck oh well. Then I see a new guy, has taken my place. They were on a couch and making out. Of course felt like shit. It feels I warmed her up for someone else who just swooped in. Some things to note, the other guy with the other girl had a group and I think was actively trying to get his mate in.
anyways pain is temporary, skills are forever. What to do to get better?

 

[TomInHo]

Nah you didn't warm her up, she just wasn't that into you and was into him. I wouldn't even worry about that at all because you're not going to be every girls ideal

Keep it pushing and you'll find more girls receptive to your approach

 

[Gsi2810]

True, she was investing a lot in me and I was building compliance. These mechanics do work great but just felt flat this time.

 

[TomInHo]

True, she was investing a lot in me and I was building compliance. These mechanics do work great but just felt flat this time.

You had social but not sexual compliance. She kept rejecting your sexual moves but was happy to keep things at a social level. The reasons why are endless and hard to tell from this short report

It could be...
- You're not her physical type at all
- You built zero sexual tension
- You didn't brush your teeth and had bad breath
- Your fundamentals need work
- You didn't reframe her objection
- You didn't sexually prize
- You're physical escalation was awkward and clumsy
- You look just like her cousin

We really don't know what it is but the more success you get the better you also get at diagnosing what stopped you from getting that particular girl

Regardless it doesn't really matter because even MPuas don't have 100% success rates with every girl they talk to. So look at the technical things that you can improve and use those improvements on the next girl and learn when it's time to cut your losses and look for more promising prospects

I would only worry about this hard if it's a recurring problem in all your interactions

 

[Gladiator]

You had social but not sexual compliance. She kept rejecting your sexual moves but was happy to keep things at a social level. The reasons why are endless and hard to tell from this short report

It could be...
- You're not her physical type at all
- You built zero sexual tension
- You didn't brush your teeth and had breath
- Your fundamentals need work
- You didn't reframe her objection
- You didn't sexually prize
- You're physical escalation was awkward and clumsy
- You look just like her cousin

We really don't know what it is but the more success you get the better you also get at diagnosing what stopped you from getting that particular girl

Regardless it doesn't really matter because even MPuas don't have 100% success rates with every girl they talk to. So look at the technical things that you can improve and use those improvements on the next girl and learn when it's time to cut your losses and look for more promising prospects

I would only worry about this hard if it's a recurring problem in all your interactions

Don't you think it was the wrong frame he set to begin with alongside other reasons you mentioned which are indeed possible as well? There was no chase frame. There is something off about kissing on the cheek..

 

[ulrich]

Sloppy makeouts in the club usually lead nowhere.
You’re not sure that other guy sealed the deal.

He might have shot himself in the foot for doing that.

Chill out. Maybe you made the right call.

 

[Gsi2810]

Hmm food for thought. Btw my game style is a bit like Todd Valentine where I talk smack and am cocky (so socials are pretty good) but I mix those with second generation verbals (as on skills website). But yeah I often get I’m a good girl frame even after I empty the entire clip of society judging women wrongly etc. she says it’s not about society but her own belief system (BS lol).
Could use some tips and pointers on things which I can control- sexual compliance, I got a great story for sexual prizing about a stunning ex (which I admittedly often forget to use). How to smoothen the physical escalation?

 

[TomInHo]

Sloppy makeouts in the club usually lead nowhere.
You’re not sure that other guy sealed the deal.

He might have shot himself in the foot for doing that.

Chill out. Maybe you made the right call.

True, but she kissed the other guy and not him... lets not forget that

Sloppy make-outs may not be technically correct but I've banged plenty girls from doing that too

 

[Gsi2810]

Btw thanks for your input @TomInHo. Much appreciated.

 

[Gsi2810]

I kinda would have settled for sloppy make out too haha

 

[HoofHearted]

Literally reporting from the club bathroom. The night started out like this- I opened two girls. Judged their interest, chose one. Tried to involve the other girl a bit here and there. We eventually went to the smoke room another guy hit up the second girl (she really liked him). I worked on my girl, deep dive, sex gambits that having sex doesn’t make her a slut (usuals). Was touching her well too. Kissed her on the cheek a few times. She kept on talking about morals and shit that she has certain limits (of course this is all garbage and I knew it and time would prove it too). At a time she was resisting too much so I cooled off and became social again. The girls went to the bathroom (social reset of girls). 30-45 minutes or so go by.

I keep hitting on other girls no luck oh well. Then I see a new guy, has taken my place. They were on a couch and making out. Of course felt like shit. It feels I warmed her up for someone else who just swooped in. Some things to note, the other guy with the other girl had a group and I think was actively trying to get his mate in.
anyways pain is temporary, skills are forever. What to do to get better?

Yes, it does hurt. That's the pain of missed opportunity, and maybe something else, but I'd venture a guess-- loneliness. You're in the club bathroom sad, hurt and alone. A lot of people have that story.

And the girl? She won't be the thing tonight that alleviates you. She was clearly open for business, and a combination of circumstance (outside of your control) and your skillset (completely in control) didn't deliver the outcome you wanted. Another man had the skillset and tongued her down on the couch. Oh the pain of 2nd place.

Logically, I arrive at two conclusions for any men in this place.

1. Why did you walk into the club so vulnerable to loneliness? What in your life can you do for yourself to ameliorate this? A girl you didn't know picked a guy who wasn't you, which sucks, but how do we turn this into a 'shrug of the shoulders, next girl' rather than 'sad time in the bathroom?' This is the important question.

2. Running analysis of what was within your control, what could you have done differently? What skills could you work on or acquire for next time? This is the second most important question. I feel the answer to the first will also lead into it a bit.

But for tonight, I suggest you tend to yourself and the emotional experience you're having. The above are questions that unfold over time, not immediately after a tough night out.

 

[Gsi2810]

@HoofHearted thank you for your concern. Much appreciated. I’m ok now been slightly less than an hour before I posted this and my discovery of failure. It’s just a temporary wound, it heals fast but yeah when the girls went to the toilet I was pretty normal hitting on other girls. Seeing the process and my investments fail that shit hurts but the number one rule of game is abundance. I just reach that mindset a lot slower than you guys, but surely lot faster than I used to couple of years back.

 

[HoofHearted]

@HoofHearted thank you for your concern. Much appreciated. I’m ok now been slightly less than an hour before I posted this and my discovery of failure. It’s just a temporary wound, it heals fast but yeah when the girls went to the toilet I was pretty normal hitting on other girls. Seeing the process and my investments fail that shit hurts but the number one rule of game is abundance. I just reach that mindset a lot slower than you guys, but surely lot faster than I used to couple of years back.

Women hurt me all the time.

I sure jog a lot.

 

[Gsi2810]

Hmm food for thought. Btw my game style is a bit like Todd Valentine where I talk smack and am cocky (so socials are pretty good) but I mix those with second generation verbals (as on skills website). But yeah I often get I’m a good girl frame even after I empty the entire clip of society judging women wrongly etc. she says it’s not about society but her own belief system (BS lol).
Could use some tips and pointers on things which I can control- sexual compliance, I got a great story for sexual prizing about a stunning ex (which I admittedly often forget to use). How to smoothen the physical escalation?

That’s why I’m already focusing on this. Things I can control. Btw I still think I was being actively screwed by the other dude who wanted to get his wing in. But that’ this maybe just classic defence mechanism at play.

 

[HoofHearted]

You show me something like that, my only feedback to you is: relax.

It doesn't even seem like a human being wrote whatever that says.

 

[Chase]

You kissed her on the cheek as a reward for anything? Did she reciprocate?

Your response to her talk about “morals and limits” likely sealed it. She set the frame that she is “moral about this sex stuff and has limits” and you backed off and dropped the sexuality. Game, set, match. If you’re going to do sex talk you need to be able to deal with girls’ frames around sex.

For all we know the next guy came in, she tried the same morals stuff on him, and he shrugged that frame aside and ramped the sexual tension up.

(the other thing worth considering is what in the sex talk triggered her to start talking about “morals and limits” in the first place — e.g., whether there was a calibration issue with the sex talk)

Check out @Teevster’s stuff on anti-slut defense and female state control; it may help:

Anti-Slut Defense: Why Women Want Sex but Act Like They Don’t

For a woman, being promiscuous can be socially devastating, so she employs “anti-slut defense” to maintain a perception of purity, even if she wants to have sex with you. Contents 1. What Is Anti-Slut Defense (ASD)? External ASD Internal ASD Anti-Slut Defense Caused by You 2. Anti-Slut Defense...

www.girlschase.com

Female State Control (FSC): Theoretical Causes and Effects

Women have a built-in defense mechanism against losing control and screwing the wrong guy. Let’s investigate the groundbreaking theory of Female State Control (FSC). Contents 1. The Need for a New Theory 2. Female State Control (FSC) Risk-Aversion Creating Social Bonds 3. Conclusion Hey...

www.girlschase.com

Chase

 

[Gsi2810]

I kissed her on the cheek because we were vibing well, she was investing, not backing away from my social touching and then my man to woman touching (lower back). There was enough compliance and investment in her part to make feel like I should make a bigger move. We continued to vibe after the kiss on the cheek. I qualified her on being open minded and then kissed her on the cheek a couple of more times. She wasn’t backing away, was still in the set, I was continuing to vibe with her socially.
I have read those articles but yeah will go through them again. Sometimes I think I got all the tools but really lack the smoothness of putting it all together.

 

[Chase]

@Gsi2810,

One kiss is fine as a reward after she does something significant.

After the one though, you really need to get her reciprocating and make it mutual before you do any other ones.

Point to your cheek, make her kiss you, etc.

Sometimes I think I got all the tools but really lack the smoothness of putting it all together.

That's totally normal.

It's not hard to get most of the basic seduction tools down. You could probably study hard for a month and have most of the most important stuff memorized, at least at the big picture level.

The real learning curve is in the application. That's what takes time + plenty of field experience to get down.

Only thing to do is just keep getting out there, racking up field experience, & calibrating your maneuvers as you go.

Chase

 

[Will_V]

Hmm food for thought. Btw my game style is a bit like Todd Valentine where I talk smack and am cocky (so socials are pretty good) but I mix those with second generation verbals (as on skills website). But yeah I often get I’m a good girl frame even after I empty the entire clip of society judging women wrongly etc. she says it’s not about society but her own belief system (BS lol).
Could use some tips and pointers on things which I can control- sexual compliance, I got a great story for sexual prizing about a stunning ex (which I admittedly often forget to use). How to smoothen the physical escalation?

Sounds like you might have an issue of congruence, where you know what to say but you don't exactly come across authentically as the guy who lives that life. And that can make her push back and 'shit test' to see what's up.

Her verbalizing things contrary to the seduction frame is basically the same as her saying 'I'm not feeling this'.

How is your physical and nonverbal game? Cheek kissing is not something I would do at all - at least go for the neck or something, or just put your lips near her hair/ear and breathe on her. A lot more seductive than cheek kissing which is probably what her mom and brothers do.

Sounds like maybe you could work on being more seductive with your physicals in general.

 

[Gsi2810]

Ok one day later and I’m seeing things a lot more clearly. Social compliance was there and she was even complementing me held hands etc but when I tried to move her to the sofa she declined (social compliances accepted sexual declined). I tried to make her escalate on me that is grab my waist etc. she didn’t comply so yeah you guys are right on point. Tbf I have eventually “worn down” a lot of girls by cheek kissing, grinding then moving my way to neck and head turn and kiss. Thank you @Chase and everyone for contributing. @Will_V absolutely the weakest part of my game, needs work. Verbals have always been a lockdown but tbh more I go out non verbal stop everything. Also I speak a little too fast (very unsexy but it’s really hard to break a childhood habit).