- Joined
- Nov 22, 2012
- Messages
- 70
Field report 22/30 - Going above and beyond social constructions
I can feel writing these field reports are putting a toll on me besides working out, work and game. Been sleeping later than usual but we stick to the plan and try our best.
Met 4 sets
Also got opened 2 times by girls not my type. It happens regularly and almost always in the same club.
Quiet night. Went to 2 bar/clubs. Around 30 and 50 people.
3 of the 4 sets hooked fast.
There was no eyecontact with each other before going over to the girls so I was a little surprised they responded so open. Because I was not feeling very purposeful. I relied on believing in myself that it’s ok to open while not feeling very purposeful.
2 set, brunettes 7, sitting with beers, visiting country for 2 days
First set of the night. I open and they are very friendly. Instant hook.
We talk a bit. I ask to sit, assuming I can with ftc. Both girls are eager and move in a bit. I choose to sit beside the girl I like the most.
We talk some more, just shooting the shit and the girl I like offers to buy me a beer.
While she’s up getting us beer I ask the other girl if it’s normal where they are from - thinking in my mind if it’s not, that means she must like me a lot.
“yeah it’s very normal. It’s not normal here?”
“With friends yeah but not with someone you just met.” First mistake.
When the girl came back she told her that I was very surprised about girls buying beer for strangers. I intervened and told her, not very, a little. I don’t remember if I validated here. Should have for her gesture after it was brought up as something not normal.
We talk some more. I go into guys from her country, girls have told me X about them. She denies it. I say “in your experience”, kind of correcting + validating her. Second mistake.
Suddenly girl besides me ask what am I doing here. I thought, am I not showing enough intent? when looking in her eyes.
“Got off from work late and wanted to see what’s up” Third mistake. Should have just have some more fun and address it in a fun, flirty way like:
“What are you doing here?
“Drinking beer with a party girl”
Then she asked me
“Are you by yourself?”
“Yeah”
The interaction ended here with her.
Soon after the girls got opened by table to the right and the table behind brunette in front of us.
The brunette told her friend to come over and join her. She happily agreed.
The table was 3 guys and 1 girl.
I was sitting there now on the other side of the table, facing them with the beer the girl bought while seeing them talk.
The girls were so hooked and kept complimenting the guy closest to them who was sitting beside the girl of the table.
As fvcked up as it sounds.. I felt I couldn’t leave after accepting that beer. I felt I owed something to that girl. So while I was partly witnessing this scene, I had enough self-love to not be too affected by it.
Sitting as the outsider, left out like that can fvck you up if you value others opinions over you more than your own opinion of yourself.
It is more common when you are younger because you don’t know who you are yet. Learning about yourself is to me challenging yourself, doing things because you want to do them and talking to yourself like you are your own best friend.
Anyway.. After some inner battling, I finally left the table after 8 mins. went to the toilet which was just beside the table. In the toilet I opened a 1 set and she was also very open. We came up from the toilet, I was right after her. Would have been great to make out or do smt sexual with her while the table could see it as a way to say fvck you. I’m not that petty, yet the thought did appear as a devilish fun little thing.
Three things I did well:
We got to the field and got some sets in anyway. I think of it sort of like the gym. Missing workouts sucks. Especially when you have committed to a workout plan.
I opened anyway. Gotta do them sets and get some gains
Three things that I will do better next time:
A clear crystallisation of social constructions appeared in my mind after witnessing those 2 brunettes going from very hooked to bye
And also a 1 set on floor, I opened and hooked fast to bye
How I APPEAR has EVERYTHING to do with WHO I AM to the STRANGERS.
The social constructions are temporary, in the environment kind of thing. If you don’t allow them to categorise you, you’ll be golden.
Focus next time do not let others categorise you. You categorise yourself. How? Don’t talk serious about anything. If they really want to know, they’ll ask again and I can give a short answer maybe. Self amuse, self amuse, self amuse…
Focus next time keep using the 3 second rule and do not fall into the comfort trap of feeling good while not being productive. The sets should make you feel good afterwards because of your actions.. not the music.
Focus next time be more chill knowing the set is hooked and be more physical like it was the most normal thing and because I like it
Leeeeeeeet’s gooooooo!
I can feel writing these field reports are putting a toll on me besides working out, work and game. Been sleeping later than usual but we stick to the plan and try our best.
Met 4 sets
Also got opened 2 times by girls not my type. It happens regularly and almost always in the same club.
Quiet night. Went to 2 bar/clubs. Around 30 and 50 people.
3 of the 4 sets hooked fast.
There was no eyecontact with each other before going over to the girls so I was a little surprised they responded so open. Because I was not feeling very purposeful. I relied on believing in myself that it’s ok to open while not feeling very purposeful.
2 set, brunettes 7, sitting with beers, visiting country for 2 days
First set of the night. I open and they are very friendly. Instant hook.
We talk a bit. I ask to sit, assuming I can with ftc. Both girls are eager and move in a bit. I choose to sit beside the girl I like the most.
We talk some more, just shooting the shit and the girl I like offers to buy me a beer.
While she’s up getting us beer I ask the other girl if it’s normal where they are from - thinking in my mind if it’s not, that means she must like me a lot.
“yeah it’s very normal. It’s not normal here?”
“With friends yeah but not with someone you just met.” First mistake.
When the girl came back she told her that I was very surprised about girls buying beer for strangers. I intervened and told her, not very, a little. I don’t remember if I validated here. Should have for her gesture after it was brought up as something not normal.
We talk some more. I go into guys from her country, girls have told me X about them. She denies it. I say “in your experience”, kind of correcting + validating her. Second mistake.
Suddenly girl besides me ask what am I doing here. I thought, am I not showing enough intent? when looking in her eyes.
“Got off from work late and wanted to see what’s up” Third mistake. Should have just have some more fun and address it in a fun, flirty way like:
“What are you doing here?
“Drinking beer with a party girl”
Then she asked me
“Are you by yourself?”
“Yeah”
The interaction ended here with her.
Soon after the girls got opened by table to the right and the table behind brunette in front of us.
The brunette told her friend to come over and join her. She happily agreed.
The table was 3 guys and 1 girl.
I was sitting there now on the other side of the table, facing them with the beer the girl bought while seeing them talk.
The girls were so hooked and kept complimenting the guy closest to them who was sitting beside the girl of the table.
As fvcked up as it sounds.. I felt I couldn’t leave after accepting that beer. I felt I owed something to that girl. So while I was partly witnessing this scene, I had enough self-love to not be too affected by it.
Sitting as the outsider, left out like that can fvck you up if you value others opinions over you more than your own opinion of yourself.
It is more common when you are younger because you don’t know who you are yet. Learning about yourself is to me challenging yourself, doing things because you want to do them and talking to yourself like you are your own best friend.
Anyway.. After some inner battling, I finally left the table after 8 mins. went to the toilet which was just beside the table. In the toilet I opened a 1 set and she was also very open. We came up from the toilet, I was right after her. Would have been great to make out or do smt sexual with her while the table could see it as a way to say fvck you. I’m not that petty, yet the thought did appear as a devilish fun little thing.
Three things I did well:
- The time was midnight when I entered the first bar. Came out late tonight due to extra work and of course the thoughts about going home, stop trying so hard, it’s too late etc. ran through my mind.
We got to the field and got some sets in anyway. I think of it sort of like the gym. Missing workouts sucks. Especially when you have committed to a workout plan.
- The sets were a little harder tonight in the sense that they appeared harder because there was not many people so you are more seen and the music wasn’t as loud
I opened anyway. Gotta do them sets and get some gains
- Although not as purposeful, I opened with self-love believing what I did was ok even though I didn’t feel very purposeful
Three things that I will do better next time:
- Social constructions are made in the moments and temporary.
A clear crystallisation of social constructions appeared in my mind after witnessing those 2 brunettes going from very hooked to bye
And also a 1 set on floor, I opened and hooked fast to bye
How I APPEAR has EVERYTHING to do with WHO I AM to the STRANGERS.
The social constructions are temporary, in the environment kind of thing. If you don’t allow them to categorise you, you’ll be golden.
Focus next time do not let others categorise you. You categorise yourself. How? Don’t talk serious about anything. If they really want to know, they’ll ask again and I can give a short answer maybe. Self amuse, self amuse, self amuse…
- There was some sets I didn’t open in the end because I felt good moving to the music
Focus next time keep using the 3 second rule and do not fall into the comfort trap of feeling good while not being productive. The sets should make you feel good afterwards because of your actions.. not the music.
- Part of the reason the sets were hooked and bye, was because I was doing too much also..
Focus next time be more chill knowing the set is hooked and be more physical like it was the most normal thing and because I like it
Leeeeeeeet’s gooooooo!
