FR Field Report

[Lucky8ball]

Field Report [HB9]
So yesterday I was at my University gym, and saw an incredible gorgeous brunette who I recognized [never met] from middle school. So I strutted up aside her and tapped her shoulder, it startled her a little at first, and then she took out her earbuds.
Me: Hi, did you happen to go to [Middle school name]?
Her: uh… [Middle school name]? oh yeah!
Me: You looked familiar and I had to come see
Her: What’s your name?
Me: Lucky8ball, and what was yours?
She was a little startled by my approach and in the beginning, I felt she was kind of nervous from the approach but we settle into it and started having a good conversation. We're both freshman at university
It’s hard for me remember all of the details exactly in this dialogue,
A little while later we were talking and walking out of the gym together, we happened to both finish working out same time, she asked where I lived, and I told her, turned out we were going opposite directions walking out of the gym, but kept walking with her
Her: Aren’t you back that way?
Me: Yeah, but I’m obligated to walk with you, you know, just in case guys try hitting on you, or you get mugged
Her: [laughs] oh?
Me: Yeah, I mean you’re very beautiful, who wouldn’t?
Her: oh, Thank you!
Then we talked about how we went to rival high schools and the last football game between our sides, eventually we got into sports, me playing football and her playing softball
Me: Did you play any sports?
Her: Yeah! I played softball
Me: Oh, that explains it!
Her: [laughs] what?
Me: Softball players are hot (or some corny compliment, I don’t remember what I said exactly)
Her: [laughed] (I can’t remember what she said, but it was something that rhymed with my next line, sorry)
Me: Well, you’re very very pretty
Her: Well, thank you very very much
We come to a crosswalk, and I decide to ask for her number, because we were coming up on her dorm, and while it definitely felt like we were vibing, I didn’t feel confident enough trying to make any moves. This crosswalk is usually a high traffic area of students, however it was late at night on Sunday and there wasn’t really anybody around, so I wasn’t feeling any social pressure. (It was at university however)
Me: (I say something) *Pull out phone*
Her: (She starts going on about me getting her number now at this point in the interaction in a sarcastic tone)
As she was talking I started laughing at what she was saying, and I looked at her and gave her a sexy smile, then leaned in to try and kiss her while she was talking, she leaned back
Her: I don’t kiss guys I just met!
Me: There was something on your lip! ... I swear
Her: Mhmm
I don’t know, here it felt like a faux pas, but felt like I salvaged a lot of it, I wasn’t trying to qualify myself or anything after, and I just continued like nothing real big happened, but maybe this was a big mistake in a social setting like a campus??
So I give her my phone, and she puts in her number, and we part ways
Me: Bye, it was great meeting you , I’ll text you later
Her: Alright, bye!
Then I texted her about an hour later around 10,
“Hey [Brunette], It was fantastic meeting you,
- [Lucky8ball], ”
She didn’t replied to it, but I was planning on asking her out, I’ll let you guys know what happens
Appreciate any feedback guys, and I will be trying to make more field reports
Also, anything I can do to make this field report better? So you guys have more to work with, thanks again!

 

[ray_zorse]

Re: Field Report

Might have overdone the comments on her beauty just slightly, it's good to show intent, but just telling her you find her attractive once or twice is enough, 3+ times it gets a little chasey. Your number grab could have been a lot smoother, how about this

You: hey so you're doing undergraduate architecture, 4 subjects?
Her: yeah!
You: so you've got about 20hrs per week, are you at the campus everyday?
Her: yeah except Friday
You: awesome I have an early finish on Tuesday, what about grab a smoothie at the union in the afternoon?
Her: ohh I can't I have lots of tutorials on Tuesday
You: oh right, what's the tutorial? is it architecture, design or what? its like a lab class?
Her: yeah we have about 2hrs in the design studio blah blah blah
You: oh that sounds awesome, must be very difficult, u are working on a design at the moment?
Her: blah blah blah
You: (rinse, repeat) yeah i would be keen to hear more about it, so if Tuesday's busy is there another day we could meet after class?
Her: yeah I'll let you know once I get my assignments for the week
You: awesome, here put your number in here *pulls out phone*
(she puts her number in, you call her so she has your number, she checks she got the missed call)
You: sweet so you were saying the current design is for an outdoor space (continues the conversation)
Her: yeah its like a pavilion blah blah blah
You: that sounds amazing, anyway I was heading this way so we'll have to chat during the week, come here
Her: (complies)
You: (kisses her on the cheek) see you

Then for your text, I wouldn't say "it was fantastic meeting you" or anything of that nature because it looks a bit like supplicating... referring to the conversation is better "hey (her name) cool to meet the next famous architect Lucky8ball". I'd say this one is dead since if they don't respond to the icebreaker they're usually not that excited about you, it feels like it was the number grab and the awkwardness over the kiss that deflated the initial attraction but hey it happens a lot

Ray

 

[Sophisticated Gent]

Re: Field Report

Lucky,

I agree with Ray on the compliments. I usually only give one on a short time frame approach. It is enough to set the initial intent. The third time was to much.

On the kiss, I have pulled off the unexpected kiss but it wasn't on the first meeting. I think it was a bit pushy. If I would do it on a first meeting it would be after I have set up a sexual frame and probably after moving her at least once in order to set up some compliance.

There were several things you did well here. My favorite is that you just walked with her back to her dorm without asking. Once she asked why you were walking with her you came up with a good explanation.

Using the middle school tie in was a good opener.


Ray,

Her: (complies)
You: (kisses her on the cheek) see you

i always considered a kiss on the cheek as something your grandmother does to you. What tone do you think it sets? Maybe it is my American influence.

BDSC

 

[ray_zorse]

Re: Field Report

Yeah, I have read something by Chase which suggested that the kiss on the cheek can be a bit too chaste and (IIRC) he suggested as an alternative, that when you greet your date, hold her hands in yours while looking deeply into her eyes for a moment, which is perhaps more intimate. However, around here a kiss on the cheek is a normal greeting between friends, in a business setting you'd go for a handshake, as the kiss could be seen as too intimate and/or highlighting that your business partner is a woman... but in most other settings the kiss is okay. For instance I kissed one of the mums on the cheek as she was leaving my son's birthday party last weekend, and I think I had only met her that day, but we had a good conversation so it felt okay. I wouldn't do this in the schoolyard though, because in a context that occurs every day it's not necessary to make a big deal of it (a handshake is not necessary with the other dads either). As a general rule man/man greeting here is a handshake or occasionally a hug, whereas man/woman and woman/woman is a kiss or occasionally a handshake. Doing the kiss on a first meeting is quite dominant and sets a good frame, I would only recommend after a good conversation, though sometimes in nightgame I exuberantly kiss her on the cheek hello after the introductions. Also, Japanese and Chinese and Vietnamese women really love it, since they are quite starved of interpersonal contact in their culture, and it enhances the effect that you're a dominant guy who does what he wants. Haha.
Ray

 

[Lucky8ball]

Re: Field Report

Hey thanks for the feedback guys,
So I texted her to ask her out earlier today no reply haha, I definitely think it was the kiss thing, I should’ve held off,

Might have overdone the comments on her beauty just slightly, it's good to show intent, but just telling her you find her attractive once or twice is enough, 3+ times it gets a little chasey. Your number grab could have been a lot smoother...

Thanks Ray, Definitely agree here, She was a gorgeous gal, facepalmed while reading this, she's definitely been called beautiful before. I am going to try and implement compliments more based on what they relay to me during conversation. She talked about playing softball, so I definitely should have pointed out how she seemed athletic, (and was very fit ).

Lucky,

I agree with Ray on the compliments. I usually only give one on a short time frame approach. It is enough to set the initial intent. The third time was to much.

On the kiss, I have pulled off the unexpected kiss but it wasn't on the first meeting. I think it was a bit pushy. If I would do it on a first meeting it would be after I have set up a sexual frame and probably after moving her at least once in order to set up some compliance.

There were several things you did well here. My favorite is that you just walked with her back to her dorm without asking. Once she asked why you were walking with her you came up with a good explanation.

Using the middle school tie in was a good opener.

Thanks BigDaddy, yeah man like I said, we were in social setting, kiss attempt on a hotter gal that early probably wasn't brightest move, but did feel great about the overall interaction.

So, I wont text her again, but maybe after some time passes and I catch her at the gym, I could re-approach, and maybe apologize about the social taint of the kiss attempt, and try to set up another date in person, or like instant date at a coffee shop?
Good move?

Also I was wondering if you guys could give some advice on how to I create more value out of my introduction, to kind of showcase value to get her chasing me, before I start asking questions to engage in a conversation to get to know her?

Greatly Appreciated dudes

 

[ray_zorse]

Re: Field Report

Thanks BigDaddy, yeah man like I said, we were in social setting, kiss attempt on a hotter gal that early probably wasn't brightest move, but did feel great about the overall interaction.

Did you try to kiss her on the lips? What was the social setting, I thought you were walking on the campus or in the street near the gym? Anyway, kissing in public is a big no-no, it's a mistake we all have to make once or twice (to a guy it just feels romantic and right, but to a girl it feels socially risky and she feels quite exposed). Don't worry, that's why we have GC, to correct us on these kinds of matters.

So, I wont text her again, but maybe after some time passes and I catch her at the gym, I could re-approach, and maybe apologize about the social taint of the kiss attempt, and try to set up another date in person, or like instant date at a coffee shop?
Good move?

Definitely no apologizing, you were a dominant mofo and you did what felt right to you at the time, and there's no reason you should apologize for that. You probably gained some value just by TRYING even though she wasn't up for it, whereas apologizing will remove that value if any and make it an overall negative. My feeling with girls where the date or approach or a subsequent conversation didn't go well is basically you don't contact, but if you meet again in a social setting, just game as normal. This sets the right overall vibe (you're interested but you won't chase) and sometimes leads to them contacting me later. One example was a few months back I bumped into a girl whom I'd had a failed escalation with, chatted with her for a while (she was very guarded) and got a text later that night "Hi ray. It was nice seeing you again. would you like to hang out some time?" Another example is my current girlfriend, I NEXTed her after she brought a girlfriend to a coffee date (3rd date or so) and later on didn't reply to a "how are you" text (so I thought girlfriend had torpedoed me, even though the conversation on the date had seemed to go well)... but bumped into her in a shopping centre after a month or so and she held my hand for a little longer than necessary, so I KNEW she missed me a lot and it was on again. In both cases, had I double-texted or contacted, it would have been chasey and set completely the wrong tone. Be strong.

Also I was wondering if you guys could give some advice on how to I create more value out of my introduction, to kind of showcase value to get her chasing me, before I start asking questions to engage in a conversation to get to know her?

You mean generally? You can't really, except through fundamentals, that is, having a very tight body, good eye contact and posture, a confident and relaxed yet commanding manner, a strong confident sexy walk, a deep resonant voice, et cetera. The best way to create value in an approach is to get her sharing excitedly about herself, while you are qualifying her and relating on things she says. The stuff like "DHV" (display of high value) talked about in PUA circles is not good in my opinion. An exception might be "display of sexual value" a term which Drexel used in a recent post (can't remember which one), this might include things like having lots of preselection before you talk to her at a party, or maybe just clever and subtle use of sexual and chase frames to get her thinking along sexual lines, but this is quite advanced.

Ray

 

[Lucky8ball]

Re: Field Report

Did you try to kiss her on the lips? What was the social setting, I thought you were walking on the campus or in the street near the gym? Anyway, kissing in public is a big no-no, it's a mistake we all have to make once or twice (to a guy it just feels romantic and right, but to a girl it feels socially risky and she feels quite exposed). Don't worry, that's why we have GC, to correct us on these kinds of matters.

Yeah, I tried to kiss her on the lips. The social setting was we were walking over to her dorm on a pedestrian path, after the gym at our university. It was not very busy, however there were a few students walking around. I tried to kiss her at the crosswalk, and there wasn't anyone on our side of the street, but on the other was a group of a few people, if that helps describe it a little better, that's what I meant by the social setting.

And got it on the no apologizing thing .

Thanks Ray for all the feedback dude, definitely appreciated.