- Joined
- Nov 14, 2017
- Messages
- 346
Ok, so as we know, the person who has said "I will let you know" holds the power. So when a girl says that, it's best to just retract the proposal. But what happens when both parties I guess seem to know that they need to be the one who has the ball in their court? In the extreme worst case, it would become a cycle:
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I met a new girl in a big box store on Saturday evening. A bit below my usual standards. Beautiful natural 4B afro hair and dark skin, but her facial features are unremarkable - not one of those faces that instantly attracts me, - and she wears glasses, which is a big turn-off to me. But I'd been in the mall several hours and hadn't done one approach, so fuck it, I didn't want to go home with zip, so I went in, and she was fairly compliant. Might post a full FR later.
Anyway, I text her the usual memory ping about an hour later and her response seems invested enough that I, unusually, felt I had to reply:
Really, she doesn't seem testy. If anything she comes across as super friendly, but I'm also aware that "I'll keep you posted" is a trap. So I try to get out of it at 8:30pm and take the power by being the one who will let her know. (Maybe I should've just left it at "let's leave it for now", but I didn't want to be totally negative when she was being so outwardly friendly.) But then she takes it back with her 8:32pm reply.
I didn't know how to reply to that because it looked like a classic chess stalemate, where the game ends with no winner because the same evasive moves just keep being repeated back and forth on both sides. So I just left it.
Could this have been avoided? Can it be fixed?
I could just stay silent - although she has the ball because I didn't snatch it back the second time, - see if she writes back in the meantime, and re-engage in a week or so if not.
Or, noting that she said nothing about classes Wednesday, I could try to jump on that Tuesday night. On one hand I don't like that because it seems over-eager, but on the other hand, I've often had bad outcomes letting things drag on a long time without a meet.
And was Sunday's exchange actually a power struggle? Or her not being fully sold? Or was this just genuine schedule uncertainty?
It seems silly, but I seem to have just had something like that happen!her: I will let you know.
him: No, I will let you know.
her: No, I will let you know.
him: No, I will let you know.
her: No, I will let you know.
...
______________________________
I met a new girl in a big box store on Saturday evening. A bit below my usual standards. Beautiful natural 4B afro hair and dark skin, but her facial features are unremarkable - not one of those faces that instantly attracts me, - and she wears glasses, which is a big turn-off to me. But I'd been in the mall several hours and hadn't done one approach, so fuck it, I didn't want to go home with zip, so I went in, and she was fairly compliant. Might post a full FR later.
Anyway, I text her the usual memory ping about an hour later and her response seems invested enough that I, unusually, felt I had to reply:
I leave it at that, and then the next evening (Sunday) decide to try to set something up fast:10:21pm me: Hey hey Shanice, it's Phoenix.. save my #
10:32pm her: Hey Phoenix , okays will do. How are yu ?
10:41pm me: I'm good! About to grab a bite
10:45pm her: Okays good good![]()
7:34pm me: Hey Shanice. Let's grab that coffee soon! What's your schedule like? I should have some time Tuesday or possibly tomorrow.
8:11pm her: Hey Phoenix. Okays sure , sounds good. Hmm mondays class until 220 & tuesdays until 5 & thursdays until 1135 . Hmm alot of assignments so im not sure if ill hv time tmrw or tuesday but ill keep yu posted for sure .
8:11pm her: I believe i work all weekend n friday but ill let yu know for sure. How are yu ?
8:30pm me: Am good, relaxing a bit. It's ok, if ur not too sure if u can make it, let's leave it for now & I'll let you know when I have other days
8:32pm her: Awes okays . Ill let yu know for sure if im free tho.
8:32pm her: Thts good glad yur good.
Really, she doesn't seem testy. If anything she comes across as super friendly, but I'm also aware that "I'll keep you posted" is a trap. So I try to get out of it at 8:30pm and take the power by being the one who will let her know. (Maybe I should've just left it at "let's leave it for now", but I didn't want to be totally negative when she was being so outwardly friendly.) But then she takes it back with her 8:32pm reply.
I didn't know how to reply to that because it looked like a classic chess stalemate, where the game ends with no winner because the same evasive moves just keep being repeated back and forth on both sides. So I just left it.
Could this have been avoided? Can it be fixed?
I could just stay silent - although she has the ball because I didn't snatch it back the second time, - see if she writes back in the meantime, and re-engage in a week or so if not.
Or, noting that she said nothing about classes Wednesday, I could try to jump on that Tuesday night. On one hand I don't like that because it seems over-eager, but on the other hand, I've often had bad outcomes letting things drag on a long time without a meet.
And was Sunday's exchange actually a power struggle? Or her not being fully sold? Or was this just genuine schedule uncertainty?

