FU Fingered her then she left

[Darius]

Hey everyone,

So, I'm slowly getting my mojo back. Having gotten a few numbers this week, I managed to get a girl over to my place and managed to at least fuck up with my fingers wet this time, lol. She just left.

Met her on tinder, got her number and switched to Whatsapp. She seemed high interest so I invite her directly to my place for a coffee.

She shows up at my place, she's really hot. We talk for some time (maybe 20 mins?) and she shows me her favourite paintings, we geek out on those. We both have a good time.

I start talking about women and how different artists view them. She shows me this really erotic sculpture - Iris by Auguste Rodin - and I just say that I appreciate the eroticness that art is capable of. We talk about women's bodies and how erotic they are.

After that topic there's a sudden pause, neither of us had anything else to say, and there was no conversation thread left to latch on to. I look in her eyes and tell her she's beautiful. She smiles. I go in for the kiss. She turns her head around and laughs. She yells "aaah! it's too soon!". She asks me "how come you don't have a girlfriend? cute guy like you, nice apartment". I just laugh. I ask her if she has a boyfriend, she says 'no'. I say "good, it's complicated otherwise" and laugh. She says "oh you're open minded". We start a discussion on guys and her experiences with tinder.

At some point I just pull her in my arms and she comes with no resistance. I give her a kiss on the cheek.

She says she likes cooking. I ask her what dishes she has where she's from, she googles a few dishes while she's in my arms. She shows me. She asks me what I have in my country. I tell her I'll show her and ask her to put her legs on me so we're more comfortable. She laughs and places them over me, with her ass on my cock. We talk like that for a good 10 minutes.

She kept asking me how many girlfriends I have, I said it doesn't matter, I'm with her now. She tells me again it's weird that I don't have a girlfriend. This time I laugh and say "how do you know that?" (fuck me, i just painted myself as a playboy when she already had rampant asd going). She laughs and she says it's ok but she wants to know "if she's number 1, number 3, number 5 or...". Again I tell her she's the only one on my mind right now, and I enjoy spending time with her. I ask her if she does too and she says yes.

We talk more and she asks me about French girls (we're in France). I tell her I'd tell her that if she sits on me. She says ok, and she straddles me cowgirl style on the couch. I feel my cock waking up and pushing against her pants, and I slowly put my hands on her ass and push her down so she feels it too. We talk like that about French girls. I keep telling her she's pretty, she strokes my chest. I try to kiss her but yet again it's a dead end, she just pulls her head away.

We talk for a bit more then I stroke her boobs over her shirt. She asks me if 'i want to look'. I say 'yes'. She pulls up her blouse and then undoes her bra. I play with her boobs and start sucking on them. She moans in pleasure and squeezes her legs around me.

Here's where it gets weird. After a bit I look her in the eye and tell her she's very pretty, while joking around that her boobs are perfect. She laughs, but then she goes 'aaah but it's too soon! we're not having sex tonight!' and she legit closes her bra and pushes her blouse back.

Man this chick has hella self control...

We talk some more, she shows me other stuff on my laptop. Then I say 'hey' we should go to the bedroom, it's more comfortable laying down than on the couch. She deliberates for a bit and then agrees. We go to my bedroom, she sits on my bed and I turn on the red lights. She comments that the lights are 'comforting'.

I lay next to her, and start caressing her. I ask her to turn around and she does while protesting "noo i'm gonna fall asleep". I caress her all over and put my hand between her legs. She opens them for me, and I start touching her clit through her pants.

I move my arm past the pants (she had short pants) and put my fingers into her pussy. At this point I forgot about the clit entirely (think that was another big fault) and was just fingering her. She was moaning.

Suddenly -- she moans an annoyed moan, turns around and says 'ok I think I should leave, I'm so tired'. I tell her to stay just 2 more mins, she can leave after. But, she turns around and gets off the bed. She looks and me and says 'I really have to leave, it's late and I drove 20 mins to get here'.

I ask her if she's hungry and say we can order food if she wants, she goes 'nooo'. I tell her if she wants to stay and just chill out she's free, we don't have to do anything sexual, she again goes 'noo'. She says 'maybe we can go for a walk, you go to get food and I go to my car'. I tell her I'll get food delivery but I can walk with her. I again ask her if she's sure she doesn't want to stay and relax for a while. Big fat 'nooo'. I walk her to her car.

I tell her on the way to text me when she gets home, and say we can do this again sometime. She says we should do some 'activities outside the house somewhere'. We both say good night to each other and she leaves.

Sooo... yeah... I done fucked up somehow, but I'm not sure where. My suspicion is in multiple spots. She had a big fat case of ASD I think, and I failed to address those objections and just laughed. That's not good if she keeps putting them up.

Also I REALLY moved fast, even for me. I met her for a total of 1 hour and 20 mins from the moment I saw her until I had my fingers in her and she left. I really could've chilled out a bit, but -- and here's another issue I personally have -- I was REALLY turned on by her. All I could think was how good my hard dick would feel inside her tender love bits. I feel like I need to hit the breaks a bit, and learn to address ASD. That really killed it for me I think.

My final thoughts - I had her emotional side hooked, but her logical side overcame her and won in the end. Had I addressed the logical side even a bit, I feel like her ASD would have been in check and she would've been ok to fuck tonight.

Thoughts and opinions gladly taken.

 

[Rakehell]

and I just say that I appreciate the eroticness that art is capable of. We talk about women's bodies and how erotic they are.

Too brainy, should have just said something like “oh that ones cool”

kind of seems gamey bringing up sexual topics when you’re already alone with a girl, possibly over gaming

After that topic there's a sudden pause, neither of us had anything else to say, and there was no conversation thread left to latch on to. I look in her eyes and tell her she's beautiful. She smiles. I go in for the kiss. She turns her head around and laughs. She yells "aaah! it's too soon!".

When you guys paused you should have just stared into her eyes with very piercing eye contact

at that point she’d either break and mention the eye contact or return it

at that point id tell her to come and give me a “hug” in which you’d help her onto your lap

the first strike was you breaking the silence, the second strike was going straight for the kiss instead of escalating to it

she felt like the kiss was out of place when in reality she wasn't expecting it because it wasn’t escalated to

I personally don’t always kiss on the first silence, I use it as an opportunity to make her even more horny by saying nothing with my mouth and saying it all with my mannerisms

At some point I just pull her in my arms and she comes with no resistance. I give her a kiss on the cheek.

Your third strike was going in for the kiss again, the fourth was doing it on the cheek. I don’t kiss girls on the cheek because it’s a gesture done by most close family members and not lovers

Ill be honest the only reason you didn’t sleep with this girl is because you didn’t handle the tension you created very well

When there’s silence let her break it, when you guys are deep in eye contact let her break it, when she’s in kissing distance keep her guessing on whether you’ll kiss her or not

When she says things like we aren’t having sex tonight you say things like “of course not we’re two civilized adults”

These all build tension thus making her horny in the moment

Of course these are not set in stone rules when you’re aware of how much tension you’re creating but you need to atleast let a small amount build so that when you escalate she won’t feel like it’s too soon

Next you need to escalate in smaller steps, this isn’t set in stone either because if there’s hella tension you can go straight for a makeout, but its better when you don’t.

Foreplay is really important and before I even think about kissing a girl we’d already been in kissing distance for a while.

The key to doing this correctly is making sure you’re nonverbally saying that you do want her, with your eye contact, facial expressions, voice, lingering touches, etc. Without acting on it the first time the opportunity presents itself.

Hope this helps Darius, if you get this girl over again just let the tension rise man. When it’s at a boiling point you’ll be able to tell trust me.

She’ll either mention it, make her self closer to you, or even make the first move. She may also “pout” by turning away because you aren’t giving her what she wants when she wants it.

 

[Rakehell]

Caveat: if there’s a time constraint such as her being on 30 min break at her job for example you expedite the tension building process by keeping talk to a minimum

stare into her eyes, don’t always respond to her, tell her to move closer, just look at her face and lips

she’s more than likely there for sex too if you set the right expectations before meeting alone

 

[Fuck This]

Sounds like your physical escalation is point on.

Wouldn't hurt to have a date elsewhere. She's sensing you are looking for a pump & dump. Might need to reassure her that while you care for her, "Physical intimacy is the cornerstone of a relationship." And then maybe let her think she could lose you.

 

[Skills]

darius it seems you are making this mistakes that on face level seems like nothing... But in womenese subcommunication they are amplified, the whole mistake was here:

I move my arm past the pants (she had short pants) and ut my fingers into her pussy. At this point I forgot about the clit entirely (think that was another big fault) and was just fingering her. She was moaning.p

Suddenly -- she moans an annoyed moan, turns around and says 'ok I think I should leave, I'm so tired'

^ your escalation was off, something you did to turn her off during the escalation, it seems you even "hurt her" accidentally "annoyed moan....


^ A seducer main sell point, is doing things in bed and be sexually capable in the way no other guy is... This failed the test...

 

[Will_V]

Sounds like you did some really great things there and used the chemistry between you two to ramp things up, like the way you used art to turn her on and commanded her to do things like sit on your lap.

But you did not pace her reality very well when it came to asd. The big problem was asd, because of you acting like a playboy. The main telltale (besides the other ones) is:

She says we should do some 'activities outside the house somewhere'.

This is her telling you "maybe after some dates, playboy".

When she asked you why you didn't have a girlfriend, you should have told her you broke up recently. Which is not only true, but a turn on for girls because it gives them the security of knowing you're someone who gets girlfriends in the first place, makes them get all competitive, and also gives an emotional basis for a 'whirlwind romance' i.e. fast sex.

'Laughing things off' is never a good idea when it comes to women.

..

I would also say, you could probably have gotten a bit more aggressive with her. A woman will fuck a playboy if she's in the mood AND he's the 'real deal'. That is to say he's used to getting his way, he doesn't give a fuck about being 'nice', in short he's got his character and he's completely in touch with it.

I'm guessing that your compliments (which I think were too much, even though they weren't the main thing) betrayed the fact that you weren't used to doing what you were doing, and you felt like you needed to 'give something back'. This is nice guy territory. If you had simply 'gone for it', manhandle kissed her, put her against the wall etc she would probably have submitted. But this is a very fine line, you have to be aware of how this could make her feel, and follow it up with a lot of compliments and attention afterward etc.

 

[Xandin]

One thing that might help is avoiding the cheek kiss until you guys are lovers. That can come across as friendly where as if you hit the lips from the beginning it will show a bit more sexiness and build a better connection too. Doesn't hurt when you aim for the lips and they act all hungry, then you know right away