- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
- Messages
- 773
Hey guys, if you've been reading my journal you probably know that I have been dabbling in cold approach over the last few months. But I really haven't been pushing myself and only probably did like 10 or so in the months from June to October (started for a bit and then stopped). But after getting a coach two months ago , I started pushing myself some more. Still not meeting up to 20 per week like I should be doing to get faster results, but I have actually started to get results (no closes from daygame yet, but working towards it) and my mindset has definitely started to shift since I'm seeing first hand the power of cold approach. Before this, I had gotten one date from cold approach, but the date was platonic and didn't go anywhere (read my journal entry from a month ago to find out what happened) but now I've started to kiss close so I'd consider these my first real successes.
First success:
After getting pushed by my coach, I approached a brunette having a smoke on her own near the biggest train station in my city. There is a massive christmas tree and display right near it, so I used this as an excuse and asked her what it was all about. She immediately engaged and joked about not being able to fit it in her house. We then started joking about stealing it and I saw an opportunity to insta date - I told her we should go scout out the area and plan our heist - so we did and walked over to the tree and surrounding displays for 15 minutes while she asked me a whole bunch of questions. But let me know that she had to get a train soon.
This is something I need to work on. I've found that once I've done the opener in a cold approach, a lot of girls get really curious and start asking me a lot of questions, and then when there's silence I clam up and don't ask her anything. I need to constantly turn the conversation around and make it about her or about the situation we're in.
After 15 minutes, we were back at the station - I invited her out for a drink but she apologized and said she had to go. But then! She said she was having a bbq out at her place the next day (Saturday, 20 minutes out of the city) with some friends, and that I should come. After she had gone, I went back to my coach who was still around, and he instructed me on how to text her (including telling her that I was going to bring the tree with me)
The next day, I drove to the BBQ around 5, and picked up a tiny christmas tree as a joke, which I gave her when I got there. My coach told me to work the room and don't spend as much time with her - so I did and by the end I think I made quite and impression. However, I hadn't gotten closer to her. Later in the night another guy started cosying up to her, and she'd had a bit to drink (but I was sober since I was driving) so I left.
Next morning, she sent a long text thanking me for coming, saying that I fit in so well and everyone thought I was great. She also apologized saying she should have talked to me more and said she'd like to catch up.
So we set a date for the following Tuesday at a rooftop bar near mine. I met her, we had some drinks, I deep dived and did my standard "start somewhat far away from her but go to the toilet/for a drink and then come back and sit right next to her". After being next to her physical escalation was easy, and we ended up making out for a bit and holding each other.
After a while she said she had to get going, but since she lived so far away I invited her back to mine, but said "I have no expectations at all by the way". One of my coaches told me to say this when inviting them over to ease the pressure on them, but I think I'm taking it too far and saying it in an "of course we're not going to sleep together if we go back to mine" way. Need to find a way to make this smoother.
We left and she ordered an uber, then we embraced, made out some more and she left. This was last Tuesday and she also went away on a holiday for 5 days (like the girl from my other LR) so meeting up with her again has been a challenge. I'm still texting her (last one was last night and she seems keen to meet again but I sent a super long text in response to her long text which she hasn't responded to yet). I've got to make sure to keep my texts shorter than hers which I still struggle with. I have started breaking my longer ones into separate texts though which is better than the wall of texts I used to send.
Second success
This is a really funny one and happened a few days ago. I was at the chemist when this super sexy pale redhead walks past me in the isle. I freeze and almost chicken out. But I grow some balls and approach her with a direct opener "Hey, this is a bit random but I had to tell you that you look totally gorgeous. I'm STM". She didn't seem phased at all and didn't thank me but we started chatting while she searched for her item - but this wasn't in a dismissive way - she was almost inviting me to come and look for it with her. I asked her what she was looking for and she told me "vegan supplements". Another vegan!! We talked and joked around for a little bit longer until I told her I had to go (which I did since I needed to be up early that morning). I put her number in my phone and left.
Now things got interesting. After walking to the supermarket and getting some groceries I started walking back home when I ran into her again at the traffic light! She pulled me back and told me her wallet was missing and if I'd seen it. Oh shit! I told her I didn't but something was off. I offered to walk her back to the chemist to find it. She agreed and we walked back - again, like with the previous one, she was asking me questions but I wasn't talking much. To be honest it felt weird trying to deep dive while she was thinking about her wallet. It wasn't in the chemist so I pulled up google maps to find the nearest police station which was a 10 minute walk away. I really had to go so I pointed her in the right direction and wished her luck.
Half way back I thought "I really should have walked with her to the station" so as soon as I got home I texted her asking if she had any luck.
And THAT'S when she told me it was at the police station and that she owed me an apology because the whole time she was super suss on me and thought I was the pickpocket! Which was fair enough! How often does a random person come up to you to talk and then your wallet goes missing. So I told her that I hadn't forgiven her yet and that she owed me a drink and she agreed. We set a date for Wednesday (yesterday).
The date was similar to my other ones in that we sat across from eachother at the start, then after getting another round I sat next to her and physically escalated. We kissed a couple of times. However, I didn't move her around when she hinted at it - at one point she asked if we should crash at an event that was happening at the bar we were at. I said we should, but then she said she couldn't because she had to get up early tomorrow and if she went she would probably get drunk and she needed to be fresh for her work christmas party the next day.
Later on, I asked her what she had going on for the rest of the night, and when she said nothing, asked her if she wanted to come over to mine to watch Netflix, again with the "I have no expectations".
She laughed and seemed genuinely conflicted, saying that she couldn't, again because of the christmas party and that she needed to be up early. I decided not to push and complimented her on her dedication to her schedule, but I definitely should have tried harder.
After this, we left (two hours into the date) and walked to the tram stop. We embraced and kissed some more, but I think I might have come across as too eager and kissed her too much, because at the end she said "ok" and stopped. Definitely not what I should have done. I should have pulled away first but kissed her for too long. I was just excited because she is honestly one of the most attractive girls I have dated ever.
Anyway, I left and went home. I shot her a text this morning saying I enjoyed last night, and also mentioned that there's a vegan christmas market happening in the city this sunday which would be cool to check out. I still haven't received a response and I think that's because I came across as too eager. Well, at least I've learnt my lesson - don't be too eager with the kissing and always pull away before she does.
First success:
After getting pushed by my coach, I approached a brunette having a smoke on her own near the biggest train station in my city. There is a massive christmas tree and display right near it, so I used this as an excuse and asked her what it was all about. She immediately engaged and joked about not being able to fit it in her house. We then started joking about stealing it and I saw an opportunity to insta date - I told her we should go scout out the area and plan our heist - so we did and walked over to the tree and surrounding displays for 15 minutes while she asked me a whole bunch of questions. But let me know that she had to get a train soon.
This is something I need to work on. I've found that once I've done the opener in a cold approach, a lot of girls get really curious and start asking me a lot of questions, and then when there's silence I clam up and don't ask her anything. I need to constantly turn the conversation around and make it about her or about the situation we're in.
After 15 minutes, we were back at the station - I invited her out for a drink but she apologized and said she had to go. But then! She said she was having a bbq out at her place the next day (Saturday, 20 minutes out of the city) with some friends, and that I should come. After she had gone, I went back to my coach who was still around, and he instructed me on how to text her (including telling her that I was going to bring the tree with me)
The next day, I drove to the BBQ around 5, and picked up a tiny christmas tree as a joke, which I gave her when I got there. My coach told me to work the room and don't spend as much time with her - so I did and by the end I think I made quite and impression. However, I hadn't gotten closer to her. Later in the night another guy started cosying up to her, and she'd had a bit to drink (but I was sober since I was driving) so I left.
Next morning, she sent a long text thanking me for coming, saying that I fit in so well and everyone thought I was great. She also apologized saying she should have talked to me more and said she'd like to catch up.
So we set a date for the following Tuesday at a rooftop bar near mine. I met her, we had some drinks, I deep dived and did my standard "start somewhat far away from her but go to the toilet/for a drink and then come back and sit right next to her". After being next to her physical escalation was easy, and we ended up making out for a bit and holding each other.
After a while she said she had to get going, but since she lived so far away I invited her back to mine, but said "I have no expectations at all by the way". One of my coaches told me to say this when inviting them over to ease the pressure on them, but I think I'm taking it too far and saying it in an "of course we're not going to sleep together if we go back to mine" way. Need to find a way to make this smoother.
We left and she ordered an uber, then we embraced, made out some more and she left. This was last Tuesday and she also went away on a holiday for 5 days (like the girl from my other LR) so meeting up with her again has been a challenge. I'm still texting her (last one was last night and she seems keen to meet again but I sent a super long text in response to her long text which she hasn't responded to yet). I've got to make sure to keep my texts shorter than hers which I still struggle with. I have started breaking my longer ones into separate texts though which is better than the wall of texts I used to send.
Second success
This is a really funny one and happened a few days ago. I was at the chemist when this super sexy pale redhead walks past me in the isle. I freeze and almost chicken out. But I grow some balls and approach her with a direct opener "Hey, this is a bit random but I had to tell you that you look totally gorgeous. I'm STM". She didn't seem phased at all and didn't thank me but we started chatting while she searched for her item - but this wasn't in a dismissive way - she was almost inviting me to come and look for it with her. I asked her what she was looking for and she told me "vegan supplements". Another vegan!! We talked and joked around for a little bit longer until I told her I had to go (which I did since I needed to be up early that morning). I put her number in my phone and left.
Now things got interesting. After walking to the supermarket and getting some groceries I started walking back home when I ran into her again at the traffic light! She pulled me back and told me her wallet was missing and if I'd seen it. Oh shit! I told her I didn't but something was off. I offered to walk her back to the chemist to find it. She agreed and we walked back - again, like with the previous one, she was asking me questions but I wasn't talking much. To be honest it felt weird trying to deep dive while she was thinking about her wallet. It wasn't in the chemist so I pulled up google maps to find the nearest police station which was a 10 minute walk away. I really had to go so I pointed her in the right direction and wished her luck.
Half way back I thought "I really should have walked with her to the station" so as soon as I got home I texted her asking if she had any luck.
And THAT'S when she told me it was at the police station and that she owed me an apology because the whole time she was super suss on me and thought I was the pickpocket! Which was fair enough! How often does a random person come up to you to talk and then your wallet goes missing. So I told her that I hadn't forgiven her yet and that she owed me a drink and she agreed. We set a date for Wednesday (yesterday).
The date was similar to my other ones in that we sat across from eachother at the start, then after getting another round I sat next to her and physically escalated. We kissed a couple of times. However, I didn't move her around when she hinted at it - at one point she asked if we should crash at an event that was happening at the bar we were at. I said we should, but then she said she couldn't because she had to get up early tomorrow and if she went she would probably get drunk and she needed to be fresh for her work christmas party the next day.
Later on, I asked her what she had going on for the rest of the night, and when she said nothing, asked her if she wanted to come over to mine to watch Netflix, again with the "I have no expectations".
She laughed and seemed genuinely conflicted, saying that she couldn't, again because of the christmas party and that she needed to be up early. I decided not to push and complimented her on her dedication to her schedule, but I definitely should have tried harder.
After this, we left (two hours into the date) and walked to the tram stop. We embraced and kissed some more, but I think I might have come across as too eager and kissed her too much, because at the end she said "ok" and stopped. Definitely not what I should have done. I should have pulled away first but kissed her for too long. I was just excited because she is honestly one of the most attractive girls I have dated ever.
Anyway, I left and went home. I shot her a text this morning saying I enjoyed last night, and also mentioned that there's a vegan christmas market happening in the city this sunday which would be cool to check out. I still haven't received a response and I think that's because I came across as too eager. Well, at least I've learnt my lesson - don't be too eager with the kissing and always pull away before she does.
