Hi Boys
Just completed my first field mission.
Despite it's disadvantages I thought nightclub game best for a beginner as approaching there is less frightening than doing so in the street, so went to my local club night.
Fundamentals: Nothing too flashy, just put on a load of designer gear I have acquired over the years so looked pretty sharp but yeah pretty conservative too. Plus had a somewhat bad haircut (just shorn all over then grown for a couple of weeks). Also I had three days' worth of facial hair growth, which is probably a day too much (was originally gonna go last night). One thing I think I should do for next time is get on the sun beds to tan up before I go out.
The Mission: I set myself a goal of 10 approaches and then I could leave if I wanted to. In the event I managed 8 before the place closed. Was quite a small place, most people were coupled up, in large mixed groups or dancing. That said there were 2 or 3 more that I genuinely tried to approach but they co-incidentally moved away as I came up or a guy friend of theirs joined them. Also I have been quite strict in my definition of approach, eg if I talked to more than one girl in the set I count that as one.
The first couple of approaches failed on the fact that I was too quiet and diffident (also, the first approach was actually, on reflection, to a middle aged lesbian couple) but after that I was happy with the way I conducted them at this stage in my development- calm, confident, direct with good eye contact. The openers I used were:
Having a good night?
How's your night going?
You look like your having a good night!
Hi, (holding out hand) I'm Nuncle.
Hi, I've been admiring your dancing (this was to the coolest girl I approached all night)
All these girls were 6s and 7s, with one 8. I wanted to approach the 9s and 10s but they were all heavily in demand on the dance floor.
Universally, the response I got was:
tight smile
very minimal verbal response
then they moved away as soon as possible
A couple were dismissive, as if I didn't really exist
The rest acted as if they were mildly insulted that I would dare speak to them.
The most interaction I had was when one of the girls in the group made a point of coming in and cutting me off with her back as I approached (although my approach was very calm and non-threatening). This led to some banter and a minor vibe of "what's she playing at?" between me and the girl I had originally tried to approach. However, this vibe very quickly died and they all moved off.
I flatter myself that I caught a couple of the girls I approached giving me a wondering look later on in the night (including the girl mentioned in the para above).
On the whole I enjoyed it and very soon lost any approach anxiety and feel I learned some stuff about state. The tweak that immediately occurs to me is on my appproaches I always came tentatively in from the side. I would have liked to have had the confidence to plonk myself squarely in front of then, wait for them to notice me then start talking.
Man, there were some sexy women there. Hope I get good.
Any comments?
Just completed my first field mission.
Despite it's disadvantages I thought nightclub game best for a beginner as approaching there is less frightening than doing so in the street, so went to my local club night.
Fundamentals: Nothing too flashy, just put on a load of designer gear I have acquired over the years so looked pretty sharp but yeah pretty conservative too. Plus had a somewhat bad haircut (just shorn all over then grown for a couple of weeks). Also I had three days' worth of facial hair growth, which is probably a day too much (was originally gonna go last night). One thing I think I should do for next time is get on the sun beds to tan up before I go out.
The Mission: I set myself a goal of 10 approaches and then I could leave if I wanted to. In the event I managed 8 before the place closed. Was quite a small place, most people were coupled up, in large mixed groups or dancing. That said there were 2 or 3 more that I genuinely tried to approach but they co-incidentally moved away as I came up or a guy friend of theirs joined them. Also I have been quite strict in my definition of approach, eg if I talked to more than one girl in the set I count that as one.
The first couple of approaches failed on the fact that I was too quiet and diffident (also, the first approach was actually, on reflection, to a middle aged lesbian couple) but after that I was happy with the way I conducted them at this stage in my development- calm, confident, direct with good eye contact. The openers I used were:
Having a good night?
How's your night going?
You look like your having a good night!
Hi, (holding out hand) I'm Nuncle.
Hi, I've been admiring your dancing (this was to the coolest girl I approached all night)
All these girls were 6s and 7s, with one 8. I wanted to approach the 9s and 10s but they were all heavily in demand on the dance floor.
Universally, the response I got was:
tight smile
very minimal verbal response
then they moved away as soon as possible
A couple were dismissive, as if I didn't really exist
The rest acted as if they were mildly insulted that I would dare speak to them.
The most interaction I had was when one of the girls in the group made a point of coming in and cutting me off with her back as I approached (although my approach was very calm and non-threatening). This led to some banter and a minor vibe of "what's she playing at?" between me and the girl I had originally tried to approach. However, this vibe very quickly died and they all moved off.
I flatter myself that I caught a couple of the girls I approached giving me a wondering look later on in the night (including the girl mentioned in the para above).
On the whole I enjoyed it and very soon lost any approach anxiety and feel I learned some stuff about state. The tweak that immediately occurs to me is on my appproaches I always came tentatively in from the side. I would have liked to have had the confidence to plonk myself squarely in front of then, wait for them to notice me then start talking.
Man, there were some sexy women there. Hope I get good.
Any comments?