- Joined
- Nov 14, 2017
- Messages
- 315
For those following my plight, no I didn't move to Kenya yet; this was a sheer coincidence, albeit one that may affect the decision!
In Person, All Goes OK
I was participating in a Caribbean cultural event on Saturday, which had me in attire that never fails to make strangers want pictures with me. The main event was done but people were still around partying. It was just before 7pm.
I was walking through one of the large paved lots where people were gathered. My path took me behind one of the semi trucks playing music. Most people were on the other side, but there was this lone black girl standing there with one of those large shaded strollers carrying a toddler. The girl was fairly dark-skinned. Not short but alas not tall. Fairly cute. Decent booty. Hair relatively long, in what looked to be artificial curls.
Should have opened her as I passed by, but the usual shyness kicked in and I just walked by at a safe distance. She either had been or started doing a rather lively impromptu dance in which she involved the stroller, pulling it back and forth exuberantly.
I stopped about 1.5m/5' or so ahead of her, where I pretended to chill out. I wanted to do something about the girl. On some subbliminal level I felt like she had been trying to get my attention. Well, nobody else was around on this side of the truck, other than the child who could not see her.
After her dance, the girl walked around to the front of the stroller to check on the child, who was asleep. After that, she just got back behind the stroller and stood there for a few moments before I finally pushed myself to go back and talk to her.
I had to get myself pretty close to her in order to talk, due to the loud music. This was probably a good thing. Her non-verbals were immediately friendly.
"I don't think I've ever seen a revelling...", I trailed off as I had, in the shock of talking to a girl (even her being my second for the day), momentarily forgotten the words "stroller" and "carriage", and gestured to the thing while awkwardly finishing, "cart".
She proceeded to apologize a little bashfully, at which I said, "It's ok, it's cute."
In the absence of Bond's titillating unspoken sexual vibe, I was supposed to give a compliment in order to show intent. I usually do, but as always, if the girl's not wearing natural hair, it's hard. I pass up approaches left and right due to girls wearing weave etc. "I love your dark skin tone", or "you have nice facial features", just doesn't seem, uh, normal... I can go with "I love the twist-out / afro puff / ...", but then she actually has to be wearing natural hair, which alas most black girls don't. "You're cute", I find usually comes across as blasé. I'm unmoved by clothing, and have never gotten much of a positive response from complimenting it anyway. So, no idea what compliment to give. Often this would stop me from even opening, but since I had already opened without considering this step, I think I just skipped it.
"Tell me your name."
"Guyana", it sounded like she had said. Really! Ok. Well, I hit on enough black girls to not be too surprised by any name. I may have repeated her name, but doing so over the music wasn't worth much.
I probably told her mine, though she may not have heard, and by now I can't remember if she had asked. I also don't recall whether we did the usual hand clasp, but I'm guessing so.
Connecting
Between her look and Bantu accent, I was nearly certain the girl was from Africa. Though it's not strictly speaking their culture (nor mine, lol), I do run into the odd African African girl at these events (and tend to make a beeline for them). I asked the obvious, and she answered, "yes".
I like to try guessing more specifically, so I looked at her a sec. It's a bit hard because there's a lot of overlap. Before long, she added what sounded like "Ghana." I looked at her quizzically, because she didn't look Ghanian.
Unsurprisingly, I had misheard her. The environment was loud as fuck. Each semi truck's sound gear is powered by a generator the size of a compact car, if that tells you just how loud. I think the child had passed out from the sound pressure, LOL.
"Ghana?", I asked her with a tinge of skepticism.
"Kenya, like Obama", she said.
"Oh, Kenya!" I lit up a little, this being one of two places (Uganda's the other) I'm thinking of moving to. Also, though I've met people from a number of other African countries, including neighbouring Tanzania, I'd never knowingly met a Kenyan before.
"Nairobi?"
"Yes!" She kind of lit up here. (I find that to be a common response to my knowing things about a girl's country or culture that she wouldn't expect me to know.) "Have you been there?"
"Not yet, but I'll probably go."
Afterwards I was kind of curious and wish I'd thought to find out if she was Kikuyu, Kalenjin, Luo, or what. If I had to guess, she kind of looked Luo to me. Not sure how mad she might get if I get it wrong!
I at some point asked her if she lives here. She lives in a city about a 40 min. drive from where I live.
I asked my old standby, "Are you a student?"
"Yes. Well, actually, I just graduated."
"What were you studying?"
"Civil engineering."
It was way too loud to get into any real conversation.
In fact, at one point when I was not understanding what the girl was saying, she almost took out the ear plug she was trying to shout into. I kind of shooed her off doing so, being that it was stupid loud here right behind the truck, and doing so wouldn't help anyway because she'd still be drowned out by the music. These were also special plugs designed to cut 25dB but preserve the sound quality.
Going for a Time Bridge
I had cased out the grounds the day before and knew of a spot about a 480'/145m walk from here where there was a picnic table nicely secluded from the crowds and noise, where we could've sat and chatted, and where there was even a fairly well-hidden nook behind nearby stairs in case things got frisky. However, her having the stroller made me discard that idea. I almost wonder if I should've tried that anyway, but at the time the only option I felt was workable was to number close.
"We should grab a coffee."
She seemed agreeable, although I'm not 100% sure she even heard me, and I don't specifically recall a verbal response.
Even just going for coffee right away may have been smarter, but alas I hadn't had time to adequately case out the neighbourhood around the grounds. It didn't occur to me in the moment, anyway.
I took out my phone and started a contact sheet. I put the name as "Gyana", and passed it to her. She changed the name to "Clara Kenya", and put her number in. (I'm not using her real name here, but it was a European name, which always disappoints me a little!)
When I saw her change the name, I was like, "Ahh! Sorry!", but she may not have heard over the music, anyway.
She then did something I don't think I've ever had happen before: she immediately called herself from my phone! She checked her modern phone and related that the call didn't go through. She grabbed another phone from the stroller, a very old model smartphone, and asked that I call her again, which I did. She indicated that didn't go through either.
I responded with, "Here, I'll text you something dirty." I started setting that up, but not being certain that she'd even heard me, I decided to follow this with "something very dirty!" One problem with earplugs is that they can trick you into not speaking loudly enough, so I'm not certain what she did or didn't hear, beyond what she obviously responded to.
I sent this:
For better or worse, I wasn't going for an immediate pull, so I opted to bring our meeting to a close instead of letting it drag on beyond its use. So, I told her I had to look for my friend who'se dealing with the food, and that it was nice meeting her. I think I took her hand briefly. She gave favourable non-verbals, I left her, and that was that.
I made a point of not running into her again. In fact, I was extremely hesitant to do any more approaches in the same venue, even though it was teeming with beautiful black women, for fear - probably unfounded - of her seeing and getting mad. (I did still approach one more and then got approached by one - just for NealIRC, lol, - more FR's to come.)
African Women
Clara, at least in person, was quite friendly and open, going as far as to actively seek a reciprocal number close - something I only have happen very rarely, - and even saying she likes something dirty!
This only served to make me feel even more tempted to move to Kenya. If I could go to a mall full of her on any given day, I'd be a lot happier and more successful than I am right now.
So far, with the exception of Nigerians and some Somalians and Ethiopians, I have never yet met an African-born black girl who was anything but very friendly, and indeed they have tended to respond to my advances more favourably, sometimes with unabashed interest. By contrast, black girls from the Caribbean and "The West", while they can be quite nice too under the right conditions, have a much more standoffish default posture on average. (I actually like cocky/standoffish girls, but at my present skill, they're probably not ideal practice.) And the latter is mostly what I get to deal with here, plus a sea of nontargets.
Now What?!
The next day, Sunday, at 4pm, I texted this:
But something happened that I really wasn't expecting given how open she had seemed in person: she didn't answer! This after 36h+.
As it became likely she wasn't going to answer this, I started to regret having been so wishy-washy, pedestrian and harmless. To be honest, I had kind of thought that, apart from logistic issues from her living pretty far and having a kid, that I had at least a date in the bag.
One thing that occurred to me is that, in giving a basically asexual message, I had back-pedalled from "something very dirty", perhaps disappointing her.
Tuesday afternoon, I played with some ideas, and, in an attempt to correct this, almost sent:
Before long, I realized I'm in over my head here and decided not to send anything without first seeking ideas from the more skilled guys here!
Or did I already fuck it up before the Sunday text?
In Person, All Goes OK
I was participating in a Caribbean cultural event on Saturday, which had me in attire that never fails to make strangers want pictures with me. The main event was done but people were still around partying. It was just before 7pm.
I was walking through one of the large paved lots where people were gathered. My path took me behind one of the semi trucks playing music. Most people were on the other side, but there was this lone black girl standing there with one of those large shaded strollers carrying a toddler. The girl was fairly dark-skinned. Not short but alas not tall. Fairly cute. Decent booty. Hair relatively long, in what looked to be artificial curls.
Should have opened her as I passed by, but the usual shyness kicked in and I just walked by at a safe distance. She either had been or started doing a rather lively impromptu dance in which she involved the stroller, pulling it back and forth exuberantly.
I stopped about 1.5m/5' or so ahead of her, where I pretended to chill out. I wanted to do something about the girl. On some subbliminal level I felt like she had been trying to get my attention. Well, nobody else was around on this side of the truck, other than the child who could not see her.
After her dance, the girl walked around to the front of the stroller to check on the child, who was asleep. After that, she just got back behind the stroller and stood there for a few moments before I finally pushed myself to go back and talk to her.
I had to get myself pretty close to her in order to talk, due to the loud music. This was probably a good thing. Her non-verbals were immediately friendly.
"I don't think I've ever seen a revelling...", I trailed off as I had, in the shock of talking to a girl (even her being my second for the day), momentarily forgotten the words "stroller" and "carriage", and gestured to the thing while awkwardly finishing, "cart".
She proceeded to apologize a little bashfully, at which I said, "It's ok, it's cute."
In the absence of Bond's titillating unspoken sexual vibe, I was supposed to give a compliment in order to show intent. I usually do, but as always, if the girl's not wearing natural hair, it's hard. I pass up approaches left and right due to girls wearing weave etc. "I love your dark skin tone", or "you have nice facial features", just doesn't seem, uh, normal... I can go with "I love the twist-out / afro puff / ...", but then she actually has to be wearing natural hair, which alas most black girls don't. "You're cute", I find usually comes across as blasé. I'm unmoved by clothing, and have never gotten much of a positive response from complimenting it anyway. So, no idea what compliment to give. Often this would stop me from even opening, but since I had already opened without considering this step, I think I just skipped it.
"Tell me your name."
"Guyana", it sounded like she had said. Really! Ok. Well, I hit on enough black girls to not be too surprised by any name. I may have repeated her name, but doing so over the music wasn't worth much.
I probably told her mine, though she may not have heard, and by now I can't remember if she had asked. I also don't recall whether we did the usual hand clasp, but I'm guessing so.
Connecting
Between her look and Bantu accent, I was nearly certain the girl was from Africa. Though it's not strictly speaking their culture (nor mine, lol), I do run into the odd African African girl at these events (and tend to make a beeline for them). I asked the obvious, and she answered, "yes".
I like to try guessing more specifically, so I looked at her a sec. It's a bit hard because there's a lot of overlap. Before long, she added what sounded like "Ghana." I looked at her quizzically, because she didn't look Ghanian.
Unsurprisingly, I had misheard her. The environment was loud as fuck. Each semi truck's sound gear is powered by a generator the size of a compact car, if that tells you just how loud. I think the child had passed out from the sound pressure, LOL.
"Ghana?", I asked her with a tinge of skepticism.
"Kenya, like Obama", she said.
"Oh, Kenya!" I lit up a little, this being one of two places (Uganda's the other) I'm thinking of moving to. Also, though I've met people from a number of other African countries, including neighbouring Tanzania, I'd never knowingly met a Kenyan before.
"Nairobi?"
"Yes!" She kind of lit up here. (I find that to be a common response to my knowing things about a girl's country or culture that she wouldn't expect me to know.) "Have you been there?"
"Not yet, but I'll probably go."
Afterwards I was kind of curious and wish I'd thought to find out if she was Kikuyu, Kalenjin, Luo, or what. If I had to guess, she kind of looked Luo to me. Not sure how mad she might get if I get it wrong!
I at some point asked her if she lives here. She lives in a city about a 40 min. drive from where I live.
I asked my old standby, "Are you a student?"
"Yes. Well, actually, I just graduated."
"What were you studying?"
"Civil engineering."
It was way too loud to get into any real conversation.
In fact, at one point when I was not understanding what the girl was saying, she almost took out the ear plug she was trying to shout into. I kind of shooed her off doing so, being that it was stupid loud here right behind the truck, and doing so wouldn't help anyway because she'd still be drowned out by the music. These were also special plugs designed to cut 25dB but preserve the sound quality.
Going for a Time Bridge
I had cased out the grounds the day before and knew of a spot about a 480'/145m walk from here where there was a picnic table nicely secluded from the crowds and noise, where we could've sat and chatted, and where there was even a fairly well-hidden nook behind nearby stairs in case things got frisky. However, her having the stroller made me discard that idea. I almost wonder if I should've tried that anyway, but at the time the only option I felt was workable was to number close.
"We should grab a coffee."
She seemed agreeable, although I'm not 100% sure she even heard me, and I don't specifically recall a verbal response.
Even just going for coffee right away may have been smarter, but alas I hadn't had time to adequately case out the neighbourhood around the grounds. It didn't occur to me in the moment, anyway.
I took out my phone and started a contact sheet. I put the name as "Gyana", and passed it to her. She changed the name to "Clara Kenya", and put her number in. (I'm not using her real name here, but it was a European name, which always disappoints me a little!)
When I saw her change the name, I was like, "Ahh! Sorry!", but she may not have heard over the music, anyway.
She then did something I don't think I've ever had happen before: she immediately called herself from my phone! She checked her modern phone and related that the call didn't go through. She grabbed another phone from the stroller, a very old model smartphone, and asked that I call her again, which I did. She indicated that didn't go through either.
I responded with, "Here, I'll text you something dirty." I started setting that up, but not being certain that she'd even heard me, I decided to follow this with "something very dirty!" One problem with earplugs is that they can trick you into not speaking loudly enough, so I'm not certain what she did or didn't hear, beyond what she obviously responded to.
I sent this:
The odd time I've used similar, the girl's usually gotten a kick out of it, but this one surprised me. She told me she'd answered, and here is what she'd sent:
In retrospect, I probably should've done something bold right then, though I'm not even sure exactly what. I almost wish I'd have looked at her text, smiled at her mischievously, and grabbed her ass... just to see what she'd do! But I don't do stuff like that, unfortunately.
For better or worse, I wasn't going for an immediate pull, so I opted to bring our meeting to a close instead of letting it drag on beyond its use. So, I told her I had to look for my friend who'se dealing with the food, and that it was nice meeting her. I think I took her hand briefly. She gave favourable non-verbals, I left her, and that was that.
I made a point of not running into her again. In fact, I was extremely hesitant to do any more approaches in the same venue, even though it was teeming with beautiful black women, for fear - probably unfounded - of her seeing and getting mad. (I did still approach one more and then got approached by one - just for NealIRC, lol, - more FR's to come.)
African Women
Clara, at least in person, was quite friendly and open, going as far as to actively seek a reciprocal number close - something I only have happen very rarely, - and even saying she likes something dirty!
This only served to make me feel even more tempted to move to Kenya. If I could go to a mall full of her on any given day, I'd be a lot happier and more successful than I am right now.
So far, with the exception of Nigerians and some Somalians and Ethiopians, I have never yet met an African-born black girl who was anything but very friendly, and indeed they have tended to respond to my advances more favourably, sometimes with unabashed interest. By contrast, black girls from the Caribbean and "The West", while they can be quite nice too under the right conditions, have a much more standoffish default posture on average. (I actually like cocky/standoffish girls, but at my present skill, they're probably not ideal practice.) And the latter is mostly what I get to deal with here, plus a sea of nontargets.
Now What?!
The next day, Sunday, at 4pm, I texted this:
My thinking was this. I wanted to get a meet as soon as possible, and Monday was a local holiday, so, depending on unknowns re. her work etc., there was potentially a better chance of her being free then as opposed to some random day. But on the other hand, people often have plans for holidays, and I don't like proposing when it's liable to just stack negative compliance. Thus I decided to just feel out her availability for the next day, without committing a proposal until I got some positive sign from her about it.
But something happened that I really wasn't expecting given how open she had seemed in person: she didn't answer! This after 36h+.
As it became likely she wasn't going to answer this, I started to regret having been so wishy-washy, pedestrian and harmless. To be honest, I had kind of thought that, apart from logistic issues from her living pretty far and having a kid, that I had at least a date in the bag.
One thing that occurred to me is that, in giving a basically asexual message, I had back-pedalled from "something very dirty", perhaps disappointing her.
Tuesday afternoon, I played with some ideas, and, in an attempt to correct this, almost sent:
But even that was a bit dilute, so I was inclined to put the emphasis on bold, with just:
Before long, I realized I'm in over my head here and decided not to send anything without first seeking ideas from the more skilled guys here!
Or did I already fuck it up before the Sunday text?
