A
Anonymous
Guest
Hey all,
I’m new to the girlschase forum, and this is my first post.
Short background: I’m a 20 year old college student. I’ve been lurking on the site and forums every once in a while here for a few months, and finally decided that I should join, given the level on insightfulness and community I’ve seen here. I was an extremely insecure, anxious, socially inept guy up until a couple years ago. I never really did “pickup”, but had my first successes with girls after reading Double Your Dating, although I still tried too hard to impress girls. When I discovered girlschase, some of Chase’s posts just really hit home with me, and gave me a lot of social insight that’s really improved my interactions with girls and others. Anyway, I hope to start posting more field reports and questions, and become part of the cool community I see here.
Onto my actual question: I’m not particularly looking for anyone to straight-up tell me what to do, but I figure many of you guys may have been in similar situations before, and could give me some advice. I’m gonna try to keep this post from getting to long.
I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 14 months, but recently, it just seems there is no passion or fire in it. And it’s been like this for a few months now. This girl is head-over-heels for me, and has been the whole time we’ve been together. She was a virgin before me, and this is the longest relationship either of us has had by far. We still have great sex, and a lot of fun sometimes, and we almost never fight, because she’s completely submissive to me. And the girl is a catch too. She’s not a supermodel, but she’s pretty hot, she’s in a sorority, and best of all she’s SMART. She loves reading, and I can talk about books, government, philosophy, and stuff with her, and she knows what she’s talking about. She’s also super loyal to me and does sweet things like bake for me, drives me places, and buys me things. And she’s very socially aware, level-headed, and down-to-earth.
Sounds like I’ve got it made, right? The thing is she can also be very shy, self-conscious, and afraid to lead or do anything too wild or dangerous. I think her submissiveness is part of what dampens my attraction. And she can tell that I’m not 100% into the relationship anymore. She worries that I’m going to get bored with her and leave. Our relationship feels more like a deep, comfortable friendship, rather than an exciting romance now. I just miss the novelty of new girls, and like to fantasize myself as becoming a skilled player with many girls one day, but it's been awhile since I've been single and hitting on girls.
But I’m scared that that if I break up with her, I’ll be throwing away something great. She just seems like perfect LTR material for me, and I’ve already put so much work into it. But I don’t see myself being with her years from now either, and I don’t want to be missing out on new girls, experiences that I could be having, and pickup skills that I could be honing. I know that if I just wait around, nothing’s gonna happen, and I’m still going to be questioning the relationship. But I’m also worried that if I break up with her, I’ll struggle to find the energy and determination to really put myself out there and get new girls. She’s my only super-close friend that I have, and my entire main social circle is graduating this spring. With my classes and activities, I usually have to actively seek out new people in order to meet new girls, and I’m having trouble connecting myself with the party/social scene. And I’m worried that I won’t find new girls as great as her, or that the novelty won’t be as fun as I think it is, and it’s just a grass is greener on the other side thing. I don’t want to be lonely and regret my decision if I break up with her, but I also don’t want to regret missing out if I stay.
I also don’t want the breakup to seem like it’s suddenly coming from nowhere. I know she knows that I’m not as interested in her that I was, but I want it to be as painless for her as I can, and I’d really like to still have her as a close friend afterward. Any tips for achieving this?
Didn’t mean to make the post this long. Do any of you guys have any advice? Anybody been here before? What decision did you make and was it a good one? Thanks for the help, I know it was a lot to read.
I’m new to the girlschase forum, and this is my first post.
Short background: I’m a 20 year old college student. I’ve been lurking on the site and forums every once in a while here for a few months, and finally decided that I should join, given the level on insightfulness and community I’ve seen here. I was an extremely insecure, anxious, socially inept guy up until a couple years ago. I never really did “pickup”, but had my first successes with girls after reading Double Your Dating, although I still tried too hard to impress girls. When I discovered girlschase, some of Chase’s posts just really hit home with me, and gave me a lot of social insight that’s really improved my interactions with girls and others. Anyway, I hope to start posting more field reports and questions, and become part of the cool community I see here.
Onto my actual question: I’m not particularly looking for anyone to straight-up tell me what to do, but I figure many of you guys may have been in similar situations before, and could give me some advice. I’m gonna try to keep this post from getting to long.
I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 14 months, but recently, it just seems there is no passion or fire in it. And it’s been like this for a few months now. This girl is head-over-heels for me, and has been the whole time we’ve been together. She was a virgin before me, and this is the longest relationship either of us has had by far. We still have great sex, and a lot of fun sometimes, and we almost never fight, because she’s completely submissive to me. And the girl is a catch too. She’s not a supermodel, but she’s pretty hot, she’s in a sorority, and best of all she’s SMART. She loves reading, and I can talk about books, government, philosophy, and stuff with her, and she knows what she’s talking about. She’s also super loyal to me and does sweet things like bake for me, drives me places, and buys me things. And she’s very socially aware, level-headed, and down-to-earth.
Sounds like I’ve got it made, right? The thing is she can also be very shy, self-conscious, and afraid to lead or do anything too wild or dangerous. I think her submissiveness is part of what dampens my attraction. And she can tell that I’m not 100% into the relationship anymore. She worries that I’m going to get bored with her and leave. Our relationship feels more like a deep, comfortable friendship, rather than an exciting romance now. I just miss the novelty of new girls, and like to fantasize myself as becoming a skilled player with many girls one day, but it's been awhile since I've been single and hitting on girls.
But I’m scared that that if I break up with her, I’ll be throwing away something great. She just seems like perfect LTR material for me, and I’ve already put so much work into it. But I don’t see myself being with her years from now either, and I don’t want to be missing out on new girls, experiences that I could be having, and pickup skills that I could be honing. I know that if I just wait around, nothing’s gonna happen, and I’m still going to be questioning the relationship. But I’m also worried that if I break up with her, I’ll struggle to find the energy and determination to really put myself out there and get new girls. She’s my only super-close friend that I have, and my entire main social circle is graduating this spring. With my classes and activities, I usually have to actively seek out new people in order to meet new girls, and I’m having trouble connecting myself with the party/social scene. And I’m worried that I won’t find new girls as great as her, or that the novelty won’t be as fun as I think it is, and it’s just a grass is greener on the other side thing. I don’t want to be lonely and regret my decision if I break up with her, but I also don’t want to regret missing out if I stay.
I also don’t want the breakup to seem like it’s suddenly coming from nowhere. I know she knows that I’m not as interested in her that I was, but I want it to be as painless for her as I can, and I’d really like to still have her as a close friend afterward. Any tips for achieving this?
Didn’t mean to make the post this long. Do any of you guys have any advice? Anybody been here before? What decision did you make and was it a good one? Thanks for the help, I know it was a lot to read.
