First post: my biggest obstacles are being MAN-TO-WOMAN and EGO

GottaChange

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Jan 1, 2017
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I recently turned 30 and I feel very dissatisfied when it comes to women and dating and, to a lesser extent, to interactions with people in general.

It's not really the fact that I have slept only with 7 women in my life (I know, some people at my age had it even worse) as much as the fact that I feel I lack the structural knowledge and skills needed to approach, and lead the interaction with a woman AS A MAN. Probably because of family influences, all my interactions with women have always been person-to-person rather than man-to-woman.

From what I've seen around the only men who manage to consistently bed women using a normal "person-to-person" frame are men who are particularly good-looking according to society's modern criteria. It is as if their looks takes care of the attraction for them and they can just worry about having a normal interaction and move things towards sex.

All the other guys (the average-looking ones) being successful with women are, from what I have seen, those who are able to arouse women by projecting masculinity and sexuality and be consistent with it during the whole interaction. They aren't faking it, they ARE like that.

I know for some of you this is easy if not natural, but for me this is very very hard. I can open girls using a friendly/warm/playful vibe but this doesn't lead me anywhere. We keep bantering until she either sees me as a new friend or she loses interest and goes away.

Yeah, rarely I have had women becoming sexually interested in me even if I was just being normal and friendly, but it's not something I can rely on regularly like I see good-looking guys do. I need to structurally change something about myself, and that's why I chose this nickname.

Another problem I have is ego: I find it difficult not being affected by rejections. Even if I move on and approach another woman, some part of me is still "hurt" or "angry" or "sad" for the woman who rejected me before, especially if later she's being receptive to some other guy.

I'd love to hear some suggestions, especially from guys who have been there and have overcome that.

Thanks!
 

readjusting

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 25, 2016
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At first I felt hurt when I was rejected. Until I read about it in Chase's site.

Basically if a girl see you're hurt, your chance to be with her will be even lower. From evolutionary perspective, you're a guy with strings of rejection, which is negative selection.
It sounds tough. But when I knew this, I was scared to show that I was hurt. So I never showed that I was hurt when I was rejected. I pretended that I was unfazed.
After a while, I didn't need to pretend anymore.

Also, I recommend you hitting the gym, and blast the crap out of your muscles every session. Believe me, the pain being rejected hurts a lot less than the pain you feeling in the gym.
 

Chase

Chieftan
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tribal-elder
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Oct 9, 2012
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GottaChange-

Curiosity has you covered pretty well on rejection.

New post up here on what you can do when you're not so good at triggering arousal yet:

Tactics Tuesdays: What to Do If You're Not That Sexy (Yet)

Not sure if you'll see this (looks like you haven't been here in a while), but if you do - here's hoping it helps.

Chase
 
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