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first SMS

Prehistoric

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 17, 2013
Messages
172
I met this girl on Wednesday evening and got her number. There's was a good vibe and we talked a lot about her, her trips and her experiences. I was thinking of writing her tomorrow after lunch (so around 3 days later)
Let's say her name is Claudia and mine's Peter, how does this sound as first SMS to ask her out?

Hey, Claudia! There's a new bar close to street X I am curious about.. wanna go for a drink there with me on Monday? Peter

corrections are welcome
 

ray_zorse

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Aug 12, 2014
Messages
1,982
The problem is if she's not free Monday and doesn't suggest an alternative the ball is back in your court and you'll look chasey... how about "hiya Claudia its Peter, hope u are having a good day...lets catch up for a drink, when ru free?" or maybe "... how does your schedule look?" Also review texting articles on the main site, I had to read them quite a few times while making various avoidable texting FUs.
cheers, Ray
PS Next time remember to send an icebreaker, if u didn't then better make contact sooner rather than later
 

mystery2014

Rookie
Rookie
Joined
Jul 17, 2014
Messages
9
You dont want to leave it too long, 3 days is too long in my opinion, max 24 hours later.

Have a search for the what to text articles there are a few of them and offer great advice.
 

Prehistoric

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 17, 2013
Messages
172
mystery2014 said:
You dont want to leave it too long, 3 days is too long in my opinion, max 24 hours later.

Have a search for the what to text articles there are a few of them and offer great advice.


As a matter of fact, 8 hours later she hasn't answered yet. And probably won't (something I always take into account).

It might have also been the absence of sufficient attraction and/or comfort on the day we met or my misreading signals of interests, something which already happened two weeks ago with a girl who rejected my attempts to kiss her.

So with the next girl I'll try either to move things forward on the same day I meet her or to text her for going out on the day after or to send her an ice-breaking SMS on the day we met, so that she might be more receptive if I ask her to go out a couple of days later.

If they won't work, it'll mean there's still a lot of work to do on attraction and/or comfort, which is ok considering I am a beginner :)
 

Franco

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 14, 2012
Messages
3,637
PM,

Girls are very well aware of the (absolutely stupid) "3-day rule." And they don't like guys who play by it.

Don't make her think you are socially inept by following dumb dating advice, and, instead, ask her out within 24 hours of meeting her. ;)

- Franco
 

Prehistoric

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 17, 2013
Messages
172
Franco said:
PM,

Girls are very well aware of the (absolutely stupid) "3-day rule." And they don't like guys who play by it.

Don't make her think you are socially inept by following dumb dating advice, and, instead, ask her out within 24 hours of meeting her. ;)

- Franco


I surely will with the next one :) Or even set the date on the day I meet her. Or even try to move things forward immediately.

With the last two I have been moving faster than usual, but still not fast enough I guess. Well at least it helped me get out of my comfort zone.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Eternity

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Nov 20, 2012
Messages
606
I would've txted:

"Hey, its xxx drinks mon at xxx?
 

Prehistoric

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 17, 2013
Messages
172
So she eventually replied (at around 23:40 - while I wrote at around 12).

What happened is that on the day we met she told me she had just started to learn my language (while I am perfecting hers) and I told her that we could chat a bit in both languages in the future.

Now, when I texted her I didn't mention the language exchange, I just said mentioned drinking.

She replied to the text "It's the weekend so everything's good :) Frankly I would like to improve my language a little bit before we start an exchange or you would be the only one talking :)"

Now I have three ways of interpreting this:

1) she doesn't wanna go out with me and she mentioned the language inability as an excuse. This might also be proved by the fact that she answered 8 hours later and at 24 o'clock (as to communicate that she's not in bed yet and maybe with other some other guy or out partying)

2) she actually thinks I want to do a language exchange with her and that I am that not interested in her. This might also be due to the fact that on the day we met there were other two beautiful girls I spoke with, both of them kinda flirted with me a bit. One of these two especially - typical snobby beauty queen - was kinda pissed I wasn't giving her enough attention and tried a couple of times to sabotage the interaction between me and the girl I am texting.

3) she wants to make sure we go on a date and not on a language exchange so she's testing me to see if I want to see her regardless.


As a rule to prevent false expectations I always go for the pessimistic hypothesis (in this case 1) even if I make another move.

I am thinking about answering later today with a small comment about the language thing (like "I see, maybe we should postpone the language thing" - which I shouldn't have mentioned in the first place the day we met!!) and then asking her for drinks again, when she's in the mood.

I am kinda sure she'll turn this one down too, but I don't care, it'll help me build confidence and persistence anyway.

What do u guys think?
 
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