Hi everyone:
Long time reader on this site, first time poster. I really could use some advice because I'm in a really low place right now. I'll start off with a bit of background info.
I'm 33 and single have been dating actively for 5 years. I have a successful career, good income, good athletic body, and great family and friends. I feel like on the surface I have a lot going for me.
Now the dark side. I lost my virginity when I was 28. I had opportunities before that to have sex, but religious beliefs (which I have since realized were inhibiting me) prevented me from doing so. I've dated 70-80 women in my lifetime (1 or more dates), and have slept with 25 of them. 90% of these 70-80 women were when I was after the age of 28. I've only ever had one girlfriend. And herein lies my problem.
See, ever since I was a young boy, I've chased after girls I liked. And I was never truly into very many girls. I made a list recently of all the women I was ever attracted to on a deeper level. You know how many girls are on that list from age 10 to age 33. 10! Yes, I could only think of 10 girls that I've been truly into. And this is the issue. There's a major scarcity issue in that number. That means that on average I have really only met one girl I'd consider girlfriend level material every 2 years or so. And my only girlfriend was NOT one of these girls, which is why I dumped her.
What do all these girls have in common? I made a list. They are all: outgoing, flirtatious, warm and caring, love helping others, dramatic, smart, confident (at least on the surface), great conversationalists, and most have some emotional baggage (sexual abuse, absent parents, anorexia, mental issues). They are super exciting and fun to be around. I wouldn't even say they are drop dead gorgeous 10s. Most of them are just average looking girls with average bodies. You know how some girls are attracted to complete assholes? I feel like for some fucked up reason, I'm attracted to girls that are crazy and like playing games.
So what happens when I meet one of these girls? I turn into a puppy. I lose my shit, I fall "in love", I chase, I lose control. I'm normally a confident, charismatic guy, and I turn into a totally crying wimp. And they pull away. Every time!! Now this most recent girl, we had good sex 5-6 times. I took care of her in bed. But she's pulling away. Not returning texts, being flaky and evasive. I now know better to not chase, but I still feel totally out of control. She's gone. Even if she came running back, I'd be a puppy again.
The issue is not moving fast. Since reading this site, I feel like finding sex is getting easy. I have abundance mentality there. I can make first or second date sex happen, even though my overall lays is still low (it's ok considering I started at age 28). But when it comes to converting a girl that I like into a girlfriend, I am batting 0/10 and my confidence is at an all time low. I am utterly dejected right now. I've read just about every article on this site about these issues, but my emotions always get the better of me.
What about the one girlfriend I did have for a year? Well, I was into the sex, but I wasn't really into her. I never chased her. She was infatuated with me. I could have walked at any time, and I eventually did when I felt like it was time.
Why can I find sex easily but then very few of these girls are willing to convert (even the ones I'm not chasing)?
Why am I physically attracted to many girls but only feel a deeper connection to so few?
How do I find more of these "girlfriend" type girls so that I can develop abundance in this area?
Where can I meet girls that I get excited about instantly so that I can convince myself of abundance?
One thought is that I need to use street game, which I've never done. None of these girls I've been into would have been into online dating. I met them all socially. I find it tough getting excited about some pictures on an online dating profile.
By the way, I just moved from a city of 800,000 to a city of 7 million and I'm starting my Masters on a university campus of 100,000 students. So the women will be virtually limitless. I think I'm in an ideal situation to get this part of my life solved. And believe me I want to!!!
Long time reader on this site, first time poster. I really could use some advice because I'm in a really low place right now. I'll start off with a bit of background info.
I'm 33 and single have been dating actively for 5 years. I have a successful career, good income, good athletic body, and great family and friends. I feel like on the surface I have a lot going for me.
Now the dark side. I lost my virginity when I was 28. I had opportunities before that to have sex, but religious beliefs (which I have since realized were inhibiting me) prevented me from doing so. I've dated 70-80 women in my lifetime (1 or more dates), and have slept with 25 of them. 90% of these 70-80 women were when I was after the age of 28. I've only ever had one girlfriend. And herein lies my problem.
See, ever since I was a young boy, I've chased after girls I liked. And I was never truly into very many girls. I made a list recently of all the women I was ever attracted to on a deeper level. You know how many girls are on that list from age 10 to age 33. 10! Yes, I could only think of 10 girls that I've been truly into. And this is the issue. There's a major scarcity issue in that number. That means that on average I have really only met one girl I'd consider girlfriend level material every 2 years or so. And my only girlfriend was NOT one of these girls, which is why I dumped her.
What do all these girls have in common? I made a list. They are all: outgoing, flirtatious, warm and caring, love helping others, dramatic, smart, confident (at least on the surface), great conversationalists, and most have some emotional baggage (sexual abuse, absent parents, anorexia, mental issues). They are super exciting and fun to be around. I wouldn't even say they are drop dead gorgeous 10s. Most of them are just average looking girls with average bodies. You know how some girls are attracted to complete assholes? I feel like for some fucked up reason, I'm attracted to girls that are crazy and like playing games.
So what happens when I meet one of these girls? I turn into a puppy. I lose my shit, I fall "in love", I chase, I lose control. I'm normally a confident, charismatic guy, and I turn into a totally crying wimp. And they pull away. Every time!! Now this most recent girl, we had good sex 5-6 times. I took care of her in bed. But she's pulling away. Not returning texts, being flaky and evasive. I now know better to not chase, but I still feel totally out of control. She's gone. Even if she came running back, I'd be a puppy again.
The issue is not moving fast. Since reading this site, I feel like finding sex is getting easy. I have abundance mentality there. I can make first or second date sex happen, even though my overall lays is still low (it's ok considering I started at age 28). But when it comes to converting a girl that I like into a girlfriend, I am batting 0/10 and my confidence is at an all time low. I am utterly dejected right now. I've read just about every article on this site about these issues, but my emotions always get the better of me.
What about the one girlfriend I did have for a year? Well, I was into the sex, but I wasn't really into her. I never chased her. She was infatuated with me. I could have walked at any time, and I eventually did when I felt like it was time.
Why can I find sex easily but then very few of these girls are willing to convert (even the ones I'm not chasing)?
Why am I physically attracted to many girls but only feel a deeper connection to so few?
How do I find more of these "girlfriend" type girls so that I can develop abundance in this area?
Where can I meet girls that I get excited about instantly so that I can convince myself of abundance?
One thought is that I need to use street game, which I've never done. None of these girls I've been into would have been into online dating. I met them all socially. I find it tough getting excited about some pictures on an online dating profile.
By the way, I just moved from a city of 800,000 to a city of 7 million and I'm starting my Masters on a university campus of 100,000 students. So the women will be virtually limitless. I think I'm in an ideal situation to get this part of my life solved. And believe me I want to!!!
