What's new

Calls & Texts  Flaked on girl, how to reengage

Rakehell

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
774
Semi Flaked on a girl this past week. I alluded to meeting up with her but never got down to it. Meet wasn’t actually set but she was expecting to hear from me and I never texted or called to set the Meet. Last few texts go like so:

Her:
Hey if you’re still down to link I’m free Monday and Thursday next week! Wbu?

Me:
bet I normally work on mondays but more than likely we can link thursday
She hearted the text and that was that.

That week came but I was busy with other stuff and never hit her back. How should I go about reengaging?

I was thinking about giving it a few weeks because Im still gonna be swamped this next week and won’t be able to make anything happen again more than likely.
 

Fluxcapacitor

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
785
@SunKing dude! Have you bedded this girl before? Have you known her a while? Typically I find if you don't meet up with them within a week from first meeting them the chances of getting them out drop a lot. Waiting weeks to get in touch wouldn't be advised for someone you've met once who seems very interested. If you've bedded her and locked her in already not a big issue.

For someone really busy I'd check out @Skills guide for what to text when you're busy. This is usually a conversation I have with girls in person and not in text but text works.

To reengage a standard message would work just fine here, a more tailored message would show consideration and cover the lack of follow up:

"Hi NAME, hope you've had a great weekend. I've been swamped at work this last week but should have some free time this week to grab those drinks" you could ask for her availability here but I'd stick to the soft close before going for the hard close.

This might be to fast for some girls and you're better off sending a couple of messages before going for the soft close, though higher buying temperature can bypass this. Just a ping would work if she's interested enough

If she's a girl that needs a "connection" message first, don't ask her straight away and either bait her or ask her something else

"Hi NAME, hope you've had a great weekend. I've been swamped at work, what fun stuff did you get up to? / I bet you had a wild weekend / ask about anything you know/tease about anything you know.. (what fun stuff does an accountant/ teacher/nurse do on a weekend?)
 

Rakehell

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
774
@Fluxcapacitor sweet, think i’m gonna go with this.

We haven’t fucked yet, I met her 2 weeks back through the day, she offered her contact info before I could ask.

Despite this I still can’t meet her this week even tho it’ll lower the probability of seeing her again. Should I engage this week but try to push for a meet the week after?
 

Fluxcapacitor

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
785
@SunKing dude! I'd engage this week, go the conversation/banter route (don't fall into the witty conversation dude or pen pal trap) set out that you're busy this week and get her availability for next week. Don't stall the conversation to drag it out you can get this done quickly and drop off the radar a bit. In past experience even after getting a date arranged if I drop off the radar too much, the chances off them cancelling or flaking go up.

I'm not sure what this girls texting habits are like but that would determine your maintenance. Some girls require daily messages, for this keep the conversation open. You'll notice if they're like this if they keep forcing the conversation when you're purposely trying to drop off :') this is a sign of high interest and the maintenance is required to keep you attainable. I'd advise not purposely dropping off if they're giving you a lot to use but don't kill the mystery. This is something else entirely.

I find the conversationalist style works with these situations but if it's not congruent for you you'll have to adapt a bit
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
5,248
@Fluxcapacitor sweet, think i’m gonna go with this.

We haven’t fucked yet, I met her 2 weeks back through the day, she offered her contact info before I could ask.

Despite this I still can’t meet her this week even tho it’ll lower the probability of seeing her again. Should I engage this week but try to push for a meet the week after?


The longer the times passes the lower the probability and momentum goes down till it get stale, but is not too late, i lost contact with my now main for about a month.... when she came back i had 3 other girls on rotation.... Ideally you want to set the meet 3 days pre meet a week may increase flakiness.... I would ping her, explain to her how bummed out you are cause you had such a busy week due to a deadline project at your work,, but that you and her had this great vibe and chemistry on such a short meet, and you are looking forward to see her again...." gauge her reaction and then if positive set up logistics.... just manage better the expectation, so she does not feel you are playing games or is going to be like that if she were to date you....
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake
Top