LR Flight Attendant at Samba Party

[Bloom]

It's a Monday night in Rio, and my friend and I decide to go to a big, outdoor Samba party. The cool thing about Brazilian nightlife is that people dress super casual... so I'm at this place dressed in a pair of shorts, t-shirt, and nice sneakers.

When we get there, around 9pm, there's already a big crowd. My friend and I find our way to where the samba musicians are playing and take in the vibe. I make small talk with a few people next to us to get some social momentum. Eventually my friend starts talking to a two set (turns out, from France) who are standing closeby. I join in for a while, but it doesn't go anywhere.

I start to walk away from the samba musicians, back towards the street where there's a bunch of stands selling caipirinhas and other drinks. As I'm walking, I see a short brunette in short little jean shorts walking my direction. She's super cute... and looks kinda like Eva Longoria from Desperate Housewives. I stop her... "You know who you look like?"

"Who??"

To my surprise, she speaks perfect English. Turns out that she's actually from the U.S., and is just starting off as a flight attendant. Twenty years old, and is here in Brazil for just two days.

The vibe's a little shaky at first... she doesn't know who Eva Longoria is or what Desperate Housewives is (lol, a bit before her time), and seems a bit skeptical. She pulls out her phone and googles a picture of her. "Nooo, I don't look like her."

But she's also sat herself down on a little concrete slab, so at least we've got a conversation going. The body positioning at this point isn't ideal. There's just this single concrete thing to sit down on -- no other places to sit nearby -- and there's no room on it. So, I'm having to stand up and sorta lean in/down to hear what she's saying and to speak to her because of the volume. But it's the only option, at this point, while I try to get the hook a bit stronger.

We talk like this for a few minutes. I try to get her more invested in the convo by having her guess where I'm from, while slowly giving her hints. I'm from NYC, and one interesting thing about Rio is that a lot of people here wear NY Yankees hats (the NYT even wrote an article recently about how NY caps are viral in Brazil). So, I've been using this as a hint ("A lot of people in Brazil wear my city on their hats") to keep the guessing game going. Now that I think about it, it might be good to throw in a quick qualifier here when I use this in the future... something like "Hmm, I'll give you a hint... but, first, are you an observant person?" (let her respond) "Because the hint I'll give is only gonna help if in your daily life you really pay attention to the people around you."

After talking like this for a few minutes, I tell her we should grab some caipirinhas. Partly as a compliance test, partly to change the body positioning. The vibe still seems just neutral, but she's down.

I can't find anywhere for us to sit down, so I end up taking her to this little caipirinha stand, where, at least, we're both standing up. As we keep talking, I'm feeling out her vibe and backstory more and more. Eventually I begin to reel off some cold reads, riffing on a theme with a slight smirk: "Ya know... I bet you're the type of girl... who's super close with her parents... like I bet you talk with your mom everyday, and they're really protective over you, they've got these strong values and they're worried about their little girl traveling the world on her own... but at the same time they trust your judgement. And I dunno why... I just get the feeling you're the type who keeps her room all neat and wakes up with a little gratitude practice... (on and on)."

It's crazy how much the vibe of the interaction changes at this point!

Now she's fully facing me, smiling, saying "How do you know all of that stuff?!?!?"

From here, it's much smoother sailing. The hook's in. As we keep talking, I recognize the micro-expressions... she's immersed.

We keep talking more, and eventually her phone battery dies. She asks if I can help her find her friends so that she can let them know where she's at. I take her hand and we walk through the crowd, and we find her friends pretty soon. As we're talking to them, she keeps holding on to my hand... a very good sign.

After she chats with her friends a bit, they tell me to "take care of her" and they take my number.

I still don't feel like it's time to pull yet because the party is still really early, and we've both just gotten here. We've been talking like 45 minutes at this point. So I lead her back to the caipirinha stand and we go back to talking.

I try to keep the convo stimulating but light. We play two truths and a lie (great for excusing deep eye contact), and at one point I get the idea to try to make a playful cold read of her by describing her room. "I bet you have a TON of pillows on your bed, you just seem like the type. Like you love to be surrounded by pillows and snuggle with them as you sleep. And I bet you've got a bunch of pink accents in your room as well, and you've got a little journal that you keep with super neat, girly handwriting." She sorta lights up with all of this -- it's fun, and it's about her. I want to develop this style of cold read more. It's a fun way to do a cold read, by describing a girl's bedroom to her. I feel like it might also set a light sexual frame, because we're basically exploring her bedroom together, and she's ultimately having to describe it to me. I wonder if I can even throw in an ambiguous read as well (e.g., "And in your closet, you've got this locked box hidden away where you keep all of your toys") that could hint more at the sexual frame. If she calls me out on it, I can just throw it back at her, "No, not those kind of toys, get your mind out of the gutter girl!"

After a while, I feel like it's time to go for the pull. So I tell her that I'm getting ready to bounce, but that she should join me for drinks and music back at my place. She says she's down, as long as I text her friends where she's going.

We get in a cab. The vibe's still good, but she starts giving me shit about safety concerns. "How do I know you're not gonna murder me, like Jeffrey Dahmer or something?" Turns out this girl likes to watch a bunch of true crime series, so her head is full of this stuff To try to ease her mind a bit, I give her my phone and tell her to share our location with her friend, letting her choose how long to share it for. She keeps giving me some shit about safety concerns, but she doesn't seem too serious about it.

Finally, after about 30 mins, we get back to my apartment. We sit down on the couch, and I take things slow, given some of the safety stuff she had brought up. Just try to make her feel comfortable. After maybe 15-20 minutes of us talking... I motion to my lap and tell her to come sit on it. I love this move (credit @Gunwitch ). She sits down on me, and we start to make out pretty soon after. Start to kiss her neck, her body, back up to her neck... just taking things slow.

Eventually I start to take off her little jean shorts... and she says "You can kiss me wherever, but please don't eat me out." She says something about having been at the party and not feeling super clean, so I say that she can use my shower if she wants. At which point she says "And also, by the way, we can do everything, but I'm not having sex tonight."

"Cool cool, whatever you're comfortable with."

So I take off her shorts and just keep kissing her, slowly kissing around her panties, and then her panties directly. Just trying to get her turned on more and more, while still respecting the verbal limits she's giving me. After a few minutes of this teasing... she finally says "Okay, you can eat me out."

So, start to do that. After a few minutes of this, I start to kiss her body again, and press my body against hers... again just trying to get her more and more turned on. Finally, she asks the magic question: "Do you have a condom?"



Takeaways:

+ The thing that stands out to me most is just how much the dynamic of the interaction changed once I hit those cold reads. The good thing about them, too, is that they were very much about her, but they were still sorta playful. My cold reads during nightlife have sometimes come off too deep, so it's good to be delivering them in this lighter way. After I hit the reads, the girl was convinced that I studied psychology or something. She also clearly enjoyed the analysis throughout... she'd sometimes ask "Why do you keep giving me that judgy face?!"

+ Good changing of the positioning (from the concrete slab to somewhere where we were both standing up, and where she was more facing me).

+ For the safety concerns... the sharing the location move was good. I think I might also make an album in my phone of pics of me with just family and friends, like Gun suggests in SMMA, and then swapping these pics with the ones that she has.

+ Good taking things slow once I pulled. Respecting her verbal objections and trying to bypass them by getting her horny.

+ Curious to experiment with a couple ideas -- the qualifier before I give her a hint about where I'm from ("Are you an observant person?"), as well as the bedroom cold read.

+ I want to get better at knowing WHEN exactly to pull. Sometimes, I feel like the girl is ready for it before I make the move. But I'm not sure how to develop this awareness better (other than maybe going for pulls more quickly and then gradually calibrating from there?).

 

[Derek da man]

The thing that stands out to me most is just how much the dynamic of the interaction changed once I hit those cold reads. The good thing about them, too, is that they were very much about her, but they were still sorta playful. My cold reads during nightlife have sometimes come off too deep, so it's good to be delivering them in this lighter way. After I hit the reads, the girl was convinced that I studied psychology or something. She also clearly enjoyed the analysis throughout... she'd sometimes ask "Why do you keep giving me that judgy face?!"

Maybe you should start a separate thread just for these and see what kind of cold read stacks others have used successfully.

Good taking things slow once I pulled. Respecting her verbal objections and trying to bypass them by getting her horny.

Good response, I do the same and let her decide when to move forward by getting her really horny.

As we keep talking, I recognize the micro-expressions... she's immersed

This is usually the point I know she's ready but like you did it mustn't be rushed or you look desperate and that changes the vibe back. You did what I would have done and just let her enjoy the ride as you naturally make the pull.

Good report and commentary.

 

[Bloom]

Maybe you should start a separate thread just for these and see what kind of cold read stacks others have used successfully.

Yeah, great idea. It'd be good to start compiling these as well as other peoples' cold read stacks.

 

[Michael]

Awesome LR man! Very well written and easy to follow. I like your way of dealing with LMR here, should definitely give that a try next time.

I'm curious about those cold reads that you made, it sounds like you did quite a few of them, how did you know e.g. that she kept a journal or that she was close with her family? Were any of them wrong?

 

[Bloom]

Awesome LR man! Very well written and easy to follow. I like your way of dealing with LMR here, should definitely give that a try next time.

I'm curious about those cold reads that you made, it sounds like you did quite a few of them, how did you know e.g. that she kept a journal or that she was close with her family? Were any of them wrong?

Thanks man. Yeah, that's usually what I do when I get LMR... just roll with the objection, take things slow, and try to get the girl really horny. "Slower is faster" approach. It works for me most of the time, but there's still a percentage of girls where that's not enough. I wanna get better at sex-talk (things like setting non-judgmental and positive frames about sex) to get less LMR in the first place. At this point it's not part of my game, but I think it'll help a lot.

With the cold reads, I just got a feeling about her the more she kept talking and telling me about herself. A mixture of what she was saying and not saying, combined with the way she held herself. That gave me a backstory to begin making more informed cold reads.

E.g., just the way that she talked about her parents at a certain point (and the fact that she even talked about them in the first place), I figured she came from a close family with more conservative values. And then the fact that she had decided to drop out of college to become a flight attendant and travel the world... hinted at someone who actively seeks personal growth and self-exploration. Plus a lotta chicks are into that stuff -- yoga, meditation, journaling, "good energy" and positive vibes lol, and cultivating it. I probably did get some of the cold reads wrong, but she didn't point any out. I think she understood the general theme of what I was getting at, which apparently was right -- that she came up in a close family with traditional values and that she's into self-exploration.

 

[Kvothe]

This was a great LR, I loved the use of assumptions to get the hook, and how smoothly you handled all the tests and built comfort while remaining stimulating.

I definitely learned from reading this one

 

[Beck Bass]

The cool thing about Brazilian nightlife is that people dress super casual...

Hell yeah, you can go in overdressed as well, but your attainability obviously gets lowered... I think dressing casual while still being a hot, fashionable guy does you lots of favors on going for ONS and fast pulls.

Very well done! I'll probably go to Rio soon, sounds like a beautiful place (other than the ocasional violence lmao)

 

[Chase]

@Bloom,

Excellent report.

You did great sticking with it here despite the girl not showing obvious initial interest. What the ol' traffic light guys would've called "yellow light"

But she's also sat herself down on a little concrete slab, so at least we've got a conversation going. The body positioning at this point isn't ideal. There's just this single concrete thing to sit down on -- no other places to sit nearby -- and there's no room on it. So, I'm having to stand up and sorta lean in/down to hear what she's saying and to speak to her because of the volume. But it's the only option, at this point, while I try to get the hook a bit stronger.

We talk like this for a few minutes. I try to get her more invested in the convo by having her guess where I'm from, while slowly giving her hints. I'm from NYC, and one interesting thing about Rio is that a lot of people here wear NY Yankees hats (the NYT even wrote an article recently about how NY caps are viral in Brazil). So, I've been using this as a hint ("A lot of people in Brazil wear my city on their hats") to keep the guessing game going. Now that I think about it, it might be good to throw in a quick qualifier here when I use this in the future... something like "Hmm, I'll give you a hint... but, first, are you an observant person?" (let her respond) "Because the hint I'll give is only gonna help if in your daily life you really pay attention to the people around you."

After talking like this for a few minutes, I tell her we should grab some caipirinhas. Partly as a compliance test, partly to change the body positioning. The vibe still seems just neutral, but she's down.

I can't find anywhere for us to sit down, so I end up taking her to this little caipirinha stand, where, at least, we're both standing up.

This sequence was good. She was locked in, you weren't; not great for seduction, and you can't stay like that too long.

You knew that, but also knew you had to build a little rapport before you could move her.

So, you did that, then moved her, and got her out of the less-than-ideal positioning to one where you're at least on equal footing.

Solid maneuvering.

As we keep talking, I'm feeling out her vibe and backstory more and more. Eventually I begin to reel off some cold reads, riffing on a theme with a slight smirk: "Ya know... I bet you're the type of girl... who's super close with her parents... like I bet you talk with your mom everyday, and they're really protective over you, they've got these strong values and they're worried about their little girl traveling the world on her own... but at the same time they trust your judgement. And I dunno why... I just get the feeling you're the type who keeps her room all neat and wakes up with a little gratitude practice... (on and on)."

It's crazy how much the vibe of the interaction changes at this point!

Now she's fully facing me, smiling, saying "How do you know all of that stuff?!?!?"

From here, it's much smoother sailing. The hook's in. As we keep talking, I recognize the micro-expressions... she's immersed.

Amazing.

Cold reads can be so powerful.

We get in a cab. The vibe's still good, but she starts giving me shit about safety concerns. "How do I know you're not gonna murder me, like Jeffrey Dahmer or something?" Turns out this girl likes to watch a bunch of true crime series, so her head is full of this stuff To try to ease her mind a bit, I give her my phone and tell her to share our location with her friend, letting her choose how long to share it for. She keeps giving me some shit about safety concerns, but she doesn't seem too serious about it.

Yeah. You can also joke with the true crime girls about this stuff. "Holy crap, how much of this stuff have you watched? You probably know all the tricks to do stuff and not get caught by cops. Maybe I should be the one texting my friends."

Escalation at your place was well-handled. Not rushed, but not slow; handled her resistance comfortably; all smooth.

+ The thing that stands out to me most is just how much the dynamic of the interaction changed once I hit those cold reads. The good thing about them, too, is that they were very much about her, but they were still sorta playful. My cold reads during nightlife have sometimes come off too deep, so it's good to be delivering them in this lighter way. After I hit the reads, the girl was convinced that I studied psychology or something. She also clearly enjoyed the analysis throughout... she'd sometimes ask "Why do you keep giving me that judgy face?!"

Yes, if you can cold read girls on stuff that's a bit embarrassing for them (but not too much), it's a double-whammy of "How does he know that?" + "OMG, he found me out."

Talking about keeping her room all neat is one of those... a little private thing she does and it feels slightly embarrassing to be found out. The girly handwriting one you did later is another one.

Sounds like you recognized she was fairly image-conscious and was going for a girly image, and realized she probably did other girly stuff that girly image-conscious girls do. Nice reads.

+ Good changing of the positioning (from the concrete slab to somewhere where we were both standing up, and where she was more facing me).

Yes, that was also key. Delivering the cold reads on equal footing after she'd moved to be with you was key as well.

Had you cold read her while she was sitting down locked in and you were standing out in space, it would've been a very different dynamic -- much more like you trying to win her over. Getting her up over at the bar first was crucial for the cold reads having the impact they did.

+ I want to get better at knowing WHEN exactly to pull. Sometimes, I feel like the girl is ready for it before I make the move. But I'm not sure how to develop this awareness better (other than maybe going for pulls more quickly and then gradually calibrating from there?).

That's the most reliable way to learn it, yeah.

One indicator that's semi-reliable is seeing if you can construct a "ready to kiss" moment with her, where the two of you are close, you let the conversation die, and she just holds eye contact with you with those droopy eyelid "kiss me" eyes. If everything else in the seduction has been solid to that point (good similarity, good compliance, you've pre-empted potential objections, etc.), it can be a decent sign you can probably pull, or are close to being able to. You just get her ready to kiss, hold it for 4-5 seconds, then propose the two of you get out of there (rather than kiss).

It's not 100% though, because some girls are down to kiss before they're ready for the pull... and some girls are down to be pulled before they're down to kiss. But still generally useful.

Another is just stringing together a bunch of compliance tests in a row. If she'll let you rapidly escalate touch, from one move to the next to the next, and shows zero resistance + seems to be into it, plus lets you move her around all over the place, that's a sign you're in a real good place. Not as strong an indicator as the ready to kiss moment though... so usually better to do the touch escalation + moving around, then stop somewhere and see if you can create a ready-to-kiss moment, and pull after that if you can.

Anyway, great report, man!

I look forward to your continued development here (and more smooth mind-reads of chicks you've just met ).

Chase

 

[Bloom]

Yes, that was also key. Delivering the cold reads on equal footing after she'd moved to be with you was key as well.

Had you cold read her while she was sitting down locked in and you were standing out in space, it would've been a very different dynamic -- much more like you trying to win her over. Getting her up over at the bar first was crucial for the cold reads having the impact they did.

Interesting, yeah. One piece of advice from Teevster was the importance of "foot work" -- such a small thing to do but that can really change the dynamic of the conversations. E.g., subtly positioning yourself so that your back is against the wall, so that she feels like she's the one talking to you. Similar dynamic happened here.

Another is just stringing together a bunch of compliance tests in a row. If she'll let you rapidly escalate touch, from one move to the next to the next, and shows zero resistance + seems to be into it, plus lets you move her around all over the place, that's a sign you're in a real good place. Not as strong an indicator as the ready to kiss moment though... so usually better to do the touch escalation + moving around, then stop somewhere and see if you can create a ready-to-kiss moment, and pull after that if you can.

Good idea as well! I've generally done big compliances (like having a girl move with me for drinks, or hopping to one bar after another), but finding ways to sprinkle in smaller compliances to get a better feel for where the interaction is at... is a cool idea.

Thanks for the feedback!

 

[PaulieFlyn10]

Yeah, great idea. It'd be good to start compiling these as well as other peoples' cold read stacks.

Hey, did you get to create the cold read thread later on?