Flirty Openers

[Adam101]

So, after a weekend of some particularly harsh rejections I did some re-reading on this site and I think I've zeroed in on one of my big flaws. I can't flirt worth a damn. At least I can't initiate that frame. I've been sticking largely to direct and occasionally situational openers, but I'm thinking if I could frame my openers flirtatiously it may change how women are responding.

Typically when I spot a girl I like I'll go up to her and give her a compliment of some sort (I have pretty much axed "beautiful" from my vocabulary) and follow that up with a "How's your night going?" or "What brings you out?" From there I try to do a lil deep diving to get the girl comfortable. Thing is conversations with women never seem to play out for me like the many examples laid out on this site. When I talk to girls they don't really invest / contribute to the conversation forcing me to claw for any info. I can to figure out just what kind of woman she is. What's frustrating here is girls often compliment me and are surprised by my choice of words when I open them. But then as we progress it feels like I got the door open just to have em slam it in my face.

So yeah, working on flirtatiousness I think will help a great deal. Unfortunately though when I'm out all the make-up and miniskirts blend together so it's difficult for me to off the bat pinpoint a unique thing about a particular woman to comment on. So yeah...probably could have kept this post a lot shorter by simply asking what kinds of flirty openers do you guys use? Thanks for sharing.

 

[Thedoctor]

Adam,

I don't think your openers are the problem if the girls are actually engaging you. Don't forget to move women early on in the interaction to gain some investment from them as well as to gauge their interest level. As the conversation goes on, you need to make sure you use some sexual vibe and gradually ramp it up.

Try searching for articles on increasing your sexual vibe and including sex as a topic into your conversations.

There is no magic opener that will instantaneously make a girl drop her panties for you.

-John

 

[Adam101]

Hey thanks for the reply but based on it I think some clarification is in order.

I know there's no "magic bullet" opener or line. If you put in X and always got Y then we'd all be happy sex bunnies. The other part, regarding moving women, is a lesson I have gradually been learning. There have been some interactions where it started well enough for me and then just died simply because I did not think / remember to move the girl somewhere.

So here's the problem: I get the engagement but not the investment. Recently I have tried to move women and they remain steadfast. This is why I'm going back to my openers. My openers are working to an extent...but it's the tone of the interaction that's messing me up I think. Most guys around here are rather boisterous so I've been trying to work out a cool yet aggressive low key style. But I think what that's doing is coding me as "not exciting or fun." Which is what girls want when they're out. If this guy isn't fun or exciting, why on Earth will I go sit with him or get a drink?

With that in mind I'm aiming for a flirtatious and fun vibe. I'm just not sure where to start with that. I think if I was given a few examples I could get the ball rolling. I can open fine, but I'm not getting the investment like you suggest and as best I can tell this is my current barrier.

BTW, when it comes to moving women....what do you do when a girl already has a drink in hand and is pretty steadfast about staying with her group since after all she's only talked to you for 30 sec.? I've been having some difficulty, under these circumstances, to give a girl a good reason to move. Or be convincing enough that it's worth the effort.

 

[Thedoctor]

Adam,

So here's the problem: I get the engagement but not the investment. Recently I have tried to move women and they remain steadfast. This is why I'm going back to my openers. My openers are working to an extent...but it's the tone of the interaction that's messing me up I think. Most guys around here are rather boisterous so I've been trying to work out a cool yet aggressive low key style. But I think what that's doing is coding me as "not exciting or fun." Which is what girls want when they're out. If this guy isn't fun or exciting, why on Earth will I go sit with him or get a drink?

Moving girls has two main reasons behind it:
It makes her invest in you
It allows you to determine if she is interested or just being polite.

So don't be discouraged if the ratio of successes vs failures in moving women is not where you want it to be. It will get better as you improve. However, if you're hovering around a very low or non-existent success rate, then you have a problem. The problem can be difficult to ascertain with the limited amount of info. Chances are if you think you're not giving off enough of a sexual vibe, then you are not. It could also be that your conversations are too platonic and are not leading where you want them to. You don`t have to be super fun or exciting (in fact, this can sometimes hinder you). Try to be a bit more intriguing.

The best advice I can give is for you to post more field reports and try to give more detail. That way, it's easier to figure out where you are going wrong.

BTW, when it comes to moving women....what do you do when a girl already has a drink in hand and is pretty steadfast about staying with her group since after all she's only talked to you for 30 sec.? I've been having some difficulty, under these circumstances, to give a girl a good reason to move. Or be convincing enough that it's worth the effort.

Groups of girls are a mixed bag and, if I have the choice, I usually try to avoid them (her friends cockblocking etc.). But a simple response if she is with a group would be: "Let's go sit over there cause it's quieter. You'll still be able to see your friends and you can rejoin them if you're not having fun, but I guarantee that won't happen ." Said with a sexy smirk.

Try it out and post your results in the field reports tab.
-John