Hey friends!
About a month back, I bumped into a South African girl, Anna whilst working on the job. Turned out she had a boyfriend, so we organised to meet up as friends instead. She said that her twin sister, Lucy wanted to meet me, so I was thinking that I could seduce her sister instead. Apparently Anna told Lucy that I was a cool dude, and Lucy wanted to meet me. Fast forward about a few weeks, we both went out and had an enjoyable time together. We headed over to 2 lounges, and then grabbed McDonald's and sat on a bench and just talked. Logistics were awful, so I didn't end up pulling. I could tell that Lucy was attracted to me - she was touching me... and at one point:
Fast forward to this morning - I was expecting to have a free house, but it turned out both of my parents were home that day. It's hard enough for me to get laid normally, and having to deal with my parents makes a difficult challenge even harder. That, compounded with a couple of other things that went wrong that morning, made me extremely frustrated. I was fuming just prior to meeting Lucy. We meet at a coffee shop about a 20 minute walk from my house. I live in the middle of nowhere, and this coffee place is the closest one to where I live. She arrives, and I give her a warm hug, and start to touch her right off the bat. We walk into the shop, and we order our coffees. I order first, and then the barista asks Lucy what she wants immediately afterwards. Lucy responds by saying that we would be paying separately. This felt slightly awkward. Whilst waiting for our coffee, we fluff talking about nothing. The vibe feels pretty awkward, and it feels like the ice hadn't yet been broken.
I spoke to a fellow seducer, Nick about this later, and he mentioned that during the date it's best to break the ice and awkward tension as soon as possible, by keeping the vibe light and playful, to immediately get rid of the awkward tension, but I didn't end up doing that.
We grab a seat at a table, and fluff talk, before heading over to the couch which had just become unoccupied. I sit down in the middle seat of the three seater couch, and she sits at the end. My mysteriousness and deep diving is quite sloppy as I'm out of practice. I feel like I'm heavily chasing her. At high points of the conversation, I'd touch her on the arm and thigh, but each time I did so, she'd recoil back a little bit. I also did not consider that she was sitting at the end of the couch, with not much breathing space to back away and move away from me. When I moved even closer to her, she seemed even more uncomfortable and averted eye contact even more. It felt like my touch was very forced and contrived, especially since I didn't really break the awkward barrier to begin with by keeping the mood light. There wasn't enough playfulness or laughter; I felt like I just went straight for the deep-dive. The atmosphere was weird... and seems to keep happening to me.
Nick mentioned that after breaking the ice, it would be a good idea to keep deep diving and banter a bit more, then progressing into more deep dive, before throwing in the first strong intense sexual frame. The sexual frame would usually be in the form of innuendo accompanied with piercing eye contact.
The interaction, remained safe and stale the whole way through - and we didn't really talk about anything of substance. The overall vibe was an air of incongruence, such that my actions were not matching my thoughts. I think she picked up on this. I was physically escalating her, but without having broken the ice. My approach was also devoid of sexual intent or sexual frames and so the atmosphere seemed very awkward and contrived. I felt it, and so did she.
Nick suggested that the ebb and flow of a good interaction revolves around banter, deep-dive and intense sexual frames. By the time you pull, there should be no doubt in her mind that you are a sexual being, and the idea of sex is on the table. I didn't put on a single sexual frame out there and there was very little bantering between us. The conversation was just far too "safe", and the awkward touch seemed jarring. I felt like an overly touchy creepy guy, and it sucked.
Eventually, the vibe of the place got stale. We'd probably been there for about 40 minutes. The conversation had a few good pointers, but in general, it was mediocre at best.
Throughout the walk back, I was just trying to keep the energy up. A few minutes in, she commented, "you said that you lived nearby!" Not good. I think I should've been upfront and honest about it, and said something along the lines of "yeah, it is a little bit of a hike back to my place, but it'll be worth it!" She seemed uncomfortable whilst walking back, despite my best efforts to keep the vibe light. I think I screwed up by not eliminating the awkward tension between us early on. This tension was worsened by the air of incongruence about my intentions and actions. I think she knew that I wanted to make a move on her, but the platonic vibe I was exuding seemed very discordant from my true intentions, which made the overall vibe very weird.
We arrived back to mine after a long walk. Just as we headed inside, my dad arrived home, so I had to deal with introductions and everything. He was in the weights room right outside my room and made a lot of noise. My mum was in the bathroom adjacent to my room and made a lot of noise also, which really threw me off. I felt extremely uncomfortable with escalating considering both of my parents were at home, and that they had no idea that I would be bringing back company.
I went downstairs to grab us some water and to give her time to become comfortable by her self. I came back upstairs and closed the door, and knew that I had to make a move ASAP, but I always sensed an urgent vibe from her to distance herself from me. When I got back upstairs, she was looking at her phone trying to figure out how to get back home. I knew that she was free for the whole afternoon, and probably was just not comfortable being around me and wanted to leave ASAP. She was sitting pretty far away from me on the bed, which made it really hard for me to kiss her, considering that the awkward tension between us had now increased exponentially. I knew that I should've made a move, but I didn't. I was too damn nervous considering the weird atmosphere and the fact that my parents were both at home. I then decided to show her the music video clip on my laptop, and beckoned her to sit next to me. I was thinking about making a move then, but I hesitated. She then stood up and walked over to the other side of the bed to distance herself from me. I then once again shuffled myself closer to her a few moments after, but I got a very strong sense that she didn't want to be here and just wanted to leave.
After 25 minutes of being at my place, she mentioned that she had to go, and so I walked her to the bus stop. I don't expect to see her again. To be fair, I think the goose was cooked before I even pulled her to my home, I don't feel that bad about not making a move.
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Finishing thoughts:
After 5 failed pull attempts in a row, I'm beginning to detect recurring errors in my seductions:
1. I'm not displaying enough sexual intent.
2. There is too awkward tension.
3. I'm not putting on any sexual frames. I'm coming off as a platonic friend, which misaligns with my ulterior sexual interest.
4. My physical escalation is sloppy, and most likely incongruent with my non-sexual vibe.
5. I'm contributing to an air of neediness and my vibe screams: I want to make a move on you, but I'm not comfortable enough to show clear sexual intent, so I'm meandering the vague land of half-measures where I'm trying to force rapport, and force awkward physical escalation
6. I am incongruent and my actions don't match my thoughts.
These are the same reasons why I also find night-game to be so insurmountably difficult.
7. I feel that the problem with my seductions is that I act too safe, and non-sexual throughout, until I isolate her to a seduction location, at which point I'd amp up the sexuality. This however feels extremely jarring, and feels like I'm almost tricking the girl into coming home with me.
After the date, I'd turned a girl from being initially attracted to me, to being uncomfortable and probably a little creeped out around me. Yep. Today, I was that guy. In a lot of ways, this seduction attempt was an abysmal failure, but also a fantastic (albeit frustrating) learning experience. Do you guys agree that the 7 errors above are the likely reasons for my failure? Is there anything else that I really should be working on?
Thanks for reading!
- Jeff
About a month back, I bumped into a South African girl, Anna whilst working on the job. Turned out she had a boyfriend, so we organised to meet up as friends instead. She said that her twin sister, Lucy wanted to meet me, so I was thinking that I could seduce her sister instead. Apparently Anna told Lucy that I was a cool dude, and Lucy wanted to meet me. Fast forward about a few weeks, we both went out and had an enjoyable time together. We headed over to 2 lounges, and then grabbed McDonald's and sat on a bench and just talked. Logistics were awful, so I didn't end up pulling. I could tell that Lucy was attracted to me - she was touching me... and at one point:
Nothing ended up happening that night, and I aimed to take her home at another time. My vibe seemed to be pretty good, and Lucy told me over Facebook the next day that she had a great time.
Fast forward to this morning - I was expecting to have a free house, but it turned out both of my parents were home that day. It's hard enough for me to get laid normally, and having to deal with my parents makes a difficult challenge even harder. That, compounded with a couple of other things that went wrong that morning, made me extremely frustrated. I was fuming just prior to meeting Lucy. We meet at a coffee shop about a 20 minute walk from my house. I live in the middle of nowhere, and this coffee place is the closest one to where I live. She arrives, and I give her a warm hug, and start to touch her right off the bat. We walk into the shop, and we order our coffees. I order first, and then the barista asks Lucy what she wants immediately afterwards. Lucy responds by saying that we would be paying separately. This felt slightly awkward. Whilst waiting for our coffee, we fluff talking about nothing. The vibe feels pretty awkward, and it feels like the ice hadn't yet been broken.
I spoke to a fellow seducer, Nick about this later, and he mentioned that during the date it's best to break the ice and awkward tension as soon as possible, by keeping the vibe light and playful, to immediately get rid of the awkward tension, but I didn't end up doing that.
We grab a seat at a table, and fluff talk, before heading over to the couch which had just become unoccupied. I sit down in the middle seat of the three seater couch, and she sits at the end. My mysteriousness and deep diving is quite sloppy as I'm out of practice. I feel like I'm heavily chasing her. At high points of the conversation, I'd touch her on the arm and thigh, but each time I did so, she'd recoil back a little bit. I also did not consider that she was sitting at the end of the couch, with not much breathing space to back away and move away from me. When I moved even closer to her, she seemed even more uncomfortable and averted eye contact even more. It felt like my touch was very forced and contrived, especially since I didn't really break the awkward barrier to begin with by keeping the mood light. There wasn't enough playfulness or laughter; I felt like I just went straight for the deep-dive. The atmosphere was weird... and seems to keep happening to me.
Nick mentioned that after breaking the ice, it would be a good idea to keep deep diving and banter a bit more, then progressing into more deep dive, before throwing in the first strong intense sexual frame. The sexual frame would usually be in the form of innuendo accompanied with piercing eye contact.
The interaction, remained safe and stale the whole way through - and we didn't really talk about anything of substance. The overall vibe was an air of incongruence, such that my actions were not matching my thoughts. I think she picked up on this. I was physically escalating her, but without having broken the ice. My approach was also devoid of sexual intent or sexual frames and so the atmosphere seemed very awkward and contrived. I felt it, and so did she.
Nick suggested that the ebb and flow of a good interaction revolves around banter, deep-dive and intense sexual frames. By the time you pull, there should be no doubt in her mind that you are a sexual being, and the idea of sex is on the table. I didn't put on a single sexual frame out there and there was very little bantering between us. The conversation was just far too "safe", and the awkward touch seemed jarring. I felt like an overly touchy creepy guy, and it sucked.
Eventually, the vibe of the place got stale. We'd probably been there for about 40 minutes. The conversation had a few good pointers, but in general, it was mediocre at best.
Throughout the walk back, I was just trying to keep the energy up. A few minutes in, she commented, "you said that you lived nearby!" Not good. I think I should've been upfront and honest about it, and said something along the lines of "yeah, it is a little bit of a hike back to my place, but it'll be worth it!" She seemed uncomfortable whilst walking back, despite my best efforts to keep the vibe light. I think I screwed up by not eliminating the awkward tension between us early on. This tension was worsened by the air of incongruence about my intentions and actions. I think she knew that I wanted to make a move on her, but the platonic vibe I was exuding seemed very discordant from my true intentions, which made the overall vibe very weird.
We arrived back to mine after a long walk. Just as we headed inside, my dad arrived home, so I had to deal with introductions and everything. He was in the weights room right outside my room and made a lot of noise. My mum was in the bathroom adjacent to my room and made a lot of noise also, which really threw me off. I felt extremely uncomfortable with escalating considering both of my parents were at home, and that they had no idea that I would be bringing back company.
I went downstairs to grab us some water and to give her time to become comfortable by her self. I came back upstairs and closed the door, and knew that I had to make a move ASAP, but I always sensed an urgent vibe from her to distance herself from me. When I got back upstairs, she was looking at her phone trying to figure out how to get back home. I knew that she was free for the whole afternoon, and probably was just not comfortable being around me and wanted to leave ASAP. She was sitting pretty far away from me on the bed, which made it really hard for me to kiss her, considering that the awkward tension between us had now increased exponentially. I knew that I should've made a move, but I didn't. I was too damn nervous considering the weird atmosphere and the fact that my parents were both at home. I then decided to show her the music video clip on my laptop, and beckoned her to sit next to me. I was thinking about making a move then, but I hesitated. She then stood up and walked over to the other side of the bed to distance herself from me. I then once again shuffled myself closer to her a few moments after, but I got a very strong sense that she didn't want to be here and just wanted to leave.
After 25 minutes of being at my place, she mentioned that she had to go, and so I walked her to the bus stop. I don't expect to see her again. To be fair, I think the goose was cooked before I even pulled her to my home, I don't feel that bad about not making a move.
------
Finishing thoughts:
After 5 failed pull attempts in a row, I'm beginning to detect recurring errors in my seductions:
1. I'm not displaying enough sexual intent.
2. There is too awkward tension.
3. I'm not putting on any sexual frames. I'm coming off as a platonic friend, which misaligns with my ulterior sexual interest.
4. My physical escalation is sloppy, and most likely incongruent with my non-sexual vibe.
5. I'm contributing to an air of neediness and my vibe screams: I want to make a move on you, but I'm not comfortable enough to show clear sexual intent, so I'm meandering the vague land of half-measures where I'm trying to force rapport, and force awkward physical escalation
6. I am incongruent and my actions don't match my thoughts.
These are the same reasons why I also find night-game to be so insurmountably difficult.
7. I feel that the problem with my seductions is that I act too safe, and non-sexual throughout, until I isolate her to a seduction location, at which point I'd amp up the sexuality. This however feels extremely jarring, and feels like I'm almost tricking the girl into coming home with me.
After the date, I'd turned a girl from being initially attracted to me, to being uncomfortable and probably a little creeped out around me. Yep. Today, I was that guy. In a lot of ways, this seduction attempt was an abysmal failure, but also a fantastic (albeit frustrating) learning experience. Do you guys agree that the 7 errors above are the likely reasons for my failure? Is there anything else that I really should be working on?
Thanks for reading!
- Jeff
