Reading through GC articles I found several references to Frame or Frame Control. I think I also read the article (on GC site) a while ago, and I got a good overview but never full understanding of what actually Frame Control is and how to set it up. My impression is that many guys want to look sexy, act sexy, have sexy frame – but once it comes down to have real sex many will back off. They simply are not ready for sex, and by learning seduction they only imitate the sexual behavior of successful seducers. There is actually a shortcut to seduction – if you become a guy who really wants sex, you can simply bypass many of the “seduction” techniques. I believe that real guy who wants real sex (meaning sex with woman and not watching porn) doesn’t actually need any seduction techniques, or just minimal.
So I am trying to formulate some ideas based on my current understanding of Frames, let me know what you think:
HER frame is simply to make you her Friend, somebody who has no sexual value to her because sexuality creates a lot of tension between guy and girl. So she goes out for date and tests you, she wants to see if you are compliant with her frame: If you are nice to her, do things for her, pay for her, put her on pedestal, make her feel comfortable and give her plenty of time to decide whether she likes you… Somebody who doesn’t bring up sex by words or physical contact, and if he does he’ll quickly makes fun of it. She wants to see if he gets emotionally involved with her and eventually fall for her. And if he does, his frame collapsed – and he is shifted to her Friend Zone. He collapsed to her Friend Frame.
If HE has a Nice Guy Frame, he does exactly all the above. She knows right away his Frame, she can simply derive it from his behavior and attitude. Once she knows he has a Nice Guy Frame she won’t even give him a chance, not even a date. The Frame of Nice Guy decreases all the sexual tension: He is compliant, he does what she tells him to do, he makes her feel comfortable; he is easy going, mirrors her emotions, follows her lead. He is not pushing her for sex. Maybe it is he who needs to feel comfortable instead of her? So there you go, Friend or Orbital Zone it is – and you are in it without even knowing why.
The Other Guy Frame. This one is tough to crack for her, she has to make up her mind quickly whether to have sex with him or reject him, there is no middle ground. His Frame doesn’t collapse under hers; he makes her feel nervous and quite uncomfortable by constantly pushing for sex. He doesn’t follow her suggestions, he doesn’t mirror her emotions, he doesn’t fall for her. He tells her to do things, and he ignores what she tells him to do. He doesn’t wait for her to start liking him and he doesn’t care if she likes him at all. He talks sex right away and he wants sex right away, without giving a damn what she thinks about it. He touches her right away and pushes for sex right away. There is no waiting, there is no hesitation, there is no second or third date unless there is sex first. She knows he won’t Orbit, she knows he is not interested in being a Friend. Her Frame has to either collapse under his or she needs to reject him, there are no other ways. This Other Guy’s Frame is a fucking battle for her, it is nightmare because she can never win over him with her Friendly Frame. He doesn’t give her any time to decide, she needs to make decision fast: either sex or never see him again. She hates to say NO to him because he is so different than the other guys, he is attractive and charming with his behavior and attitudes that many time – SHE SIMPLY CAN’T SAY NO to his Frame.
So Frame is basically set of certain behaviors and personal believes. Once you know your frame you need to stick to it, you need to go for it, and you can't change it because she will see it as a weakness. By knowing exactly what you want (e.g. sex and not friendship or great feelings for her) you can setup your Frame fairly easily. On the other hand, by not having clear what exactly you want you have to imitate frame of seducers, you have to learn a lot of things about seduction – just to find out that at the end of your long journey is still the same thing: Wanting Sex with her or not...
So I am trying to formulate some ideas based on my current understanding of Frames, let me know what you think:
HER frame is simply to make you her Friend, somebody who has no sexual value to her because sexuality creates a lot of tension between guy and girl. So she goes out for date and tests you, she wants to see if you are compliant with her frame: If you are nice to her, do things for her, pay for her, put her on pedestal, make her feel comfortable and give her plenty of time to decide whether she likes you… Somebody who doesn’t bring up sex by words or physical contact, and if he does he’ll quickly makes fun of it. She wants to see if he gets emotionally involved with her and eventually fall for her. And if he does, his frame collapsed – and he is shifted to her Friend Zone. He collapsed to her Friend Frame.
If HE has a Nice Guy Frame, he does exactly all the above. She knows right away his Frame, she can simply derive it from his behavior and attitude. Once she knows he has a Nice Guy Frame she won’t even give him a chance, not even a date. The Frame of Nice Guy decreases all the sexual tension: He is compliant, he does what she tells him to do, he makes her feel comfortable; he is easy going, mirrors her emotions, follows her lead. He is not pushing her for sex. Maybe it is he who needs to feel comfortable instead of her? So there you go, Friend or Orbital Zone it is – and you are in it without even knowing why.
The Other Guy Frame. This one is tough to crack for her, she has to make up her mind quickly whether to have sex with him or reject him, there is no middle ground. His Frame doesn’t collapse under hers; he makes her feel nervous and quite uncomfortable by constantly pushing for sex. He doesn’t follow her suggestions, he doesn’t mirror her emotions, he doesn’t fall for her. He tells her to do things, and he ignores what she tells him to do. He doesn’t wait for her to start liking him and he doesn’t care if she likes him at all. He talks sex right away and he wants sex right away, without giving a damn what she thinks about it. He touches her right away and pushes for sex right away. There is no waiting, there is no hesitation, there is no second or third date unless there is sex first. She knows he won’t Orbit, she knows he is not interested in being a Friend. Her Frame has to either collapse under his or she needs to reject him, there are no other ways. This Other Guy’s Frame is a fucking battle for her, it is nightmare because she can never win over him with her Friendly Frame. He doesn’t give her any time to decide, she needs to make decision fast: either sex or never see him again. She hates to say NO to him because he is so different than the other guys, he is attractive and charming with his behavior and attitudes that many time – SHE SIMPLY CAN’T SAY NO to his Frame.
So Frame is basically set of certain behaviors and personal believes. Once you know your frame you need to stick to it, you need to go for it, and you can't change it because she will see it as a weakness. By knowing exactly what you want (e.g. sex and not friendship or great feelings for her) you can setup your Frame fairly easily. On the other hand, by not having clear what exactly you want you have to imitate frame of seducers, you have to learn a lot of things about seduction – just to find out that at the end of your long journey is still the same thing: Wanting Sex with her or not...
