Friendly texting: Did i mess up for not rewarding her?

[Ryan]

I'm not going to write this for a field report, because it's just a friendly, direction-less texting conversation with a girl i met on holiday (I can't escalate, because i can't visit her now. But i plan to visit the country again soon).
But my goodness, she is incredibly beautiful, and i hope to sleep with her one day, and she likes/liked me a lot. She's about 5 years older than me.

I'm abysmal at phoning/texting girls, so i hope someone can critique what i did wrong and then i won't do the same in the future. I think i was too cold.

We were just having an innocent conversation, and it went like this:

Her: Hello, how are you? (responding to what i said earlier)
Me: You're up early
Her: its ten
Me: Still too early
Her: Why
Me: Don't know
Me: I'm just lazy
Her: You sleep late
Her: at night
Me: I guess i'm a night owl

(Normally i write loads in my texts. I learned my lesson and now i'm only writing 1-4 word replies, so she can chase me)

Her: What's your time
Me: 2:08am
Her: woo
Me: Good morning!
Her: yes
Me: Ok, i will go to sleep now..
Her: ok
Me: If you sing me to sleep
Me: Can you do that?
Her: i can't sing
Her:
Me: Yes you can
Her: ;(
Her: I'm not good at it
Me: :|
Me: Then i shall not go to bed
Her: [After a few minutes, she sent me a voice recording of her singing to me. Bless her]
Me: ...
Me: I'm not impressed
Me: Sing for me again tomorrow
Me:
Her ;(
Me: Okay, you can sing for me everyday, then you will improve!

Haven't heard back from her for quite a while.

What can i learn from this? Did I act too cold and not reward her? Did i not deep dive and ask her more about her singing? Am i meant to control the conversation or let her control the conversation and hence chase me? And what can i do to salvage this? Soo many questions!

Actually, i have no idea what the hell i'm meant to do.I have at least 4 girls from my holidays who regularly text me. When i met them, they were clearly into me, but i never knew how to escalate back then.
I can't escalate now, because i have nowhere to escalate to. It'll be at least half a year until i see them again.
I can't act too much like a friend, because then they'll lose all interest in me.
So, now i have to tread a thin line, between escalating, and not escalating. Being daring, but not being sexual.

I hate texting and emailing girls, i can never tell from their reactions if what i said was good or bad. I hope i didn't hurt her, she did sing well for me.

 

[Just_Dave]

Hey Ryan,

It was definitely the comments "I'm not impressed" that more than likely sent this into shambles.

My case: How I reached my conclusion
*She said she couldn't sing
*She sent a voice recording anyway
*She more than likely felt the rejection from you

When girls put themselves out there like that, even if you didn't mean it, they can still take offense

Just Dave

 

[Ryan]

Thanks Dave

During that conversation, I was too busy to appear smooth and not act impressed. I didn't want to say 'wow, you're so amazing!', as i would have done a few weeks ago. But i went to far on the other end of the spectrum today. Got to think about balance.

Always reward her, always reward her, always reward her, always reward her, always reward her, always reward her.....

 

[Just_Dave]

No worries Ryan,

If we're not making mistakes we're not learning, she seems cool enough I would say a little bit of time and she'll come back after awhile. Balance is the key indeed, I described balance in seduction as walking a tight rope with greasy shoes, but the forum is your safety net. You may fall a couple times , but we always have your back.

Dave

 

[Marty]

Ryan: quick tip, this is my own original opinion, I claim no support from other sources...

Always be "impressed", never be "amazed".

"Impressed" means she's working to please you. Great compliance frame and leadership implication.

"Amazed" means you're so unworldly, you've never seen the like before

Just my take on it!

-Marty

 

[Light]

I'll clear this up for you. This is what the conversation looked like to me:

Her: What do you think comes after A?
You: B
her: Yea, isn't it cool?! I mean the next one is C right? Do you think the next letter after that would be better?
You: Its D
her: you know, I think alphabets are pretty awesome. I love the letter E.
You: I prefer F

I've exaggerated a bit, but the picture is - you responded like a robot most of the time. There is no rapport building. She feels like shes talking to a robot.

What you need to keep in mind regarding texting is:
1) Either you don't try to talk to her, and leave the texting for scheduling dates only - then you can keep the rapport building face to face.
2) Or you actually do your best to build rapport over texts, and add sexual humour into the conversation. Make the effort, but do not invest more than her.

 

[Smurf]

Like Dave said, when she invested in you like that, you should've shown some appreciation. Also, find a way to sneak some chase frames in there. Some come naturally but usually I have to set a trap: send a text to get them to say something sexual.

Jake.