Friends - do you open yourself with them and how do you communicate?

[DArtagnan]

Hi folks,

In the past year, I've learnt a lot reading about seduction, and psychology in general. I've also made some progress in practice, having had a few interesting dates. I'm definitely still a beginner though.

Having said this, I find myself having more and more difficulties to talk with friends, mostly male but some female too, even some longtime friends of mine, about relationships and people in general, be it about some girl, a parent, or a boss. I feel that whenever I want to open up, to vent, to share some problems, it's hard to get people to connect with me.

It's getting really hard to describe the events without referring to seduction or social concepts such as investment, law-of-least effort, compliance, frames.

For example, I see the concept of "investment" in all the interactions I have nowadays, be it with women or with parents. When I want to tell a story about a girl, I have a hard time explaining that she was investing, but then I invested too much and she bailed out. Or when I talk about my toxic parents, saying that they are always implicitly asking me to invest in them, without giving me any investment on their part. Or when I say my old boss lost a lot of charisma points because he was always investing too much time in non-efficient process and meetings, looking weak. Nobody understands these things. People just give generic remarks such as "yeah bro, maybe you thought she were into you but she wasn't", or "man, you need to be gentle on your parents, they only have good intentions about you".

I am curious to see what's your take on this. Do you try to find "common" words to describe these? This is hard. Do you simply avoid talking about seducion / social-arts / psychology in general?

 

[Ratata]

IMHO don't even try. Muggles don't get what we get. Muggles unga bunga. No understand.

You you talk to unga bunga, dumb down speech for unga bunga. Unga bunga go "!" and make enthusiastic laughing face with tongue out. This is a great sign that unga bunga understands, but no guarantee.

You start talking about investment, frames, compliance… and their brains go full unga bunga missing-link mode. They literally don’t have the internal language for it.

So when you talk to muggles, you dumb it way down. Instead of “I over-invested,” you say “I chased too much and she pulled back.” Instead of “my parents demand investment,” you say “they drain my energy.” Same insight, simpler packaging.

Keep the technical stuff for the few people who actually get it. Unga bunga only understand unga bunga version. You dig?

 

[Absolutely_Human]

TBH I talk technical stuff w/friends that know about technical stuff, I talk superficially w/friends that don't know about the technical stuff.

Besides, I think there are other valuable aspects (at least for me) of talking about these topics such as bonding, moral support, or mere fun. You can focus more on your "emotional aspect" and story-telling format when talking about approaches and dates.

I believe that you can also advice and help other people without going full-aspie-pua–glossary. If you totally need to use a seduction concept in a chat, you can just use euphemisms, diffuse synonyms, rephrasing the ideas, etc... e.g.:

• 'She was complying' = 'She seemed interested and participative'
• 'I was trying the Law of Least Effort' = 'I was trying not to be a tryhard'
• 'She was shit-testing me' = 'She was trying my temperament'
• 'She was too invested and showed LRM' = 'I think she wants smth more than a hookup and doesn't want to ruin the opportunity, so she's taking it very slow and waiting for me to show the same type of interest'

idk, something along those lines... Maybe you can come up with better alternatives.

But I do get the feeling, it's bizarre to see how people analyze seduction after learning and practicing all of this. Quite mind bending, and funny.

BTW I do avoid in general talking about 'serious' topics (i.e. seduction, money, politics, religion...) with almost everyone, more often than not it shows to be unproductive, socially too.