From Big Deal Mentality to Feeling Like a Beginner Again

[Damien]

Hey guys,

I've started my journey here roughly four years ago, from being a virgin with very few hopes at the time and now having accumulated around 40 lays all with the help of this website. My success got a little to my head, especially when about two months several of my of friends started thinking of me as sth like a pick up god. This put me under pressure and made my interactions much more needy then they should be. Since then it started to spirale downwards, I had very little success the last 6 weeks and I got very self-conscious. I'm even having problems holding eye contact with close friends and had to check some techniques from a social anxiety therapy to not slide into depression.

I've read Chase's article on the succesfull identity, but it's really difficult getting started again. It's like I'm micro-monitoring the reactions of others and interpret everything as a rejection or disapproval. I know I'm able to do this because I HAVE DONE IT ALREADY. I also don't feel like a big deal anymore (because obviously I'm not), but instead I feel like an insecure novice again. The change to "cool guy who likes talking to girls" didn't happen in my head but instead pushed me down to beginner level. I managed to start approaching again but I feel weird and needy. I just want to feel normal again.

Any thoughts would be highly appreciated, especially from guys who've gone through this!

Thank you guys!

 

[lostnumber]

Get laid and you'll feel on top of the world again. I know exactly what has happened here; you've temporarily lost your abundance mentality.

I go through this all the time myself. Right now I'm dating two attractive girls and lining up a few dates on the side, and I feel like a god amongst men. If/when that numbers drops down to one I'll start to get a little antsy. If I get down to zero (like I did this spring) I'll start to question my worth as a human being

I'm sure its better to be fundamentally secure as a person and not rely on your success for women for happiness. I haven't figured out how to do that yet though, so in the meantime Dr. Lost recommends a prescription of sexual intercourse.

Go out there and get some. And worst case scenario, if you're really losing your mojo, take a break for a few weeks. Then go out and get some. Thats what I did this spring and being single for an extended period of time made me appreciate how much being single sucks and motivated me to get my game back on

 

[Damien]

Yeah I guess that's what happened here. Also I drank way too much alcohol the last weeks and I felt my brain slipping into a really weak and needy state. Thanks for cheering me up! Gotta get motivated again.

I noticed this time though I fell harder than I used to do. Because I had developed an ego around my identity it feels more severe than before. I used to go through dry spells before but the identity thing amplified it a lot. I'm actually not even on a dry spell, since I'm still having one fwb at the moment. One weekend I fucked two new girls and felt like the king. The next weekend I ONLY had rejections and since then I didn't have any luck because I was beating myself up all the time.

Anyway this micro-analyzing is really bad. I have to do the same technique that Chase references in "How to beat depression" + getting me even more distracted in order to not feel like shit. And it's kind of sad. All the new exchange students just arrived to my city and I can't appreciate it.

Sooo it's time to push push push.