From lame ass to badass. My transformation

[kristian]

Back at meeting girls and learning pick up. After having some bad interactions yesterday with a couple of polish girls (wow they are direct and sometimes rude when you're not 100 % in fundamentals, at least what I believe), I did not feel good trying to open new sets. Polish girls, I tried opening went this way:

Me: (In Norwegian) - I saw you walking across the street, and I had to tell you I find you very cute.
Her: I'm sorry I don't understand.
Me: (Wasnt expecting that so I lost the flow). - Do you speak English?
Her: Yes, a little bit.
Me: (In English) - I just saw you over there and I had to say I find you cute. Kristian is my name,
Her: (Slightly surprised): - Well, thank you. Carolina.
Me: So what are you doing on a day like this Carolina?
Her: I am meeting some friends.
Me: Where are you from?
Her: I am from poland. Excuse me, I have to go now. Starts turning up the pace.

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Shortly after this, I spotted another girl. Well dressed, nice ass, but I did not know how she looked like from the front.

Me: (In Norwegian): - Excuse me (I shouldnt excuse myself from now on). - I just saw you walking down the stairs. And I just had to come and tell you I like your style. Kristian is my name.
Her: - Im sorry I dont speak norwegian. I am from Poland.
Me: (Again? and a little shocked). -Well I just had to tell you I find you cute (my flow wasnt going on so well, and I was a little taken aback from the fact that she did not speak norwegian).
Her: - Oh, I am here looking for a job. I do not have any time for this. Leave me alone.
Me: - Well then, have a good day.

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So I did not do anything for a good wile. Just wondered around without doing anything. Felt like a wuss, went home and later met a couple of friends. But also discovered that wearing training clothes does not equal a lot of success. I have to wear better fitting fashion. Better fundamentals = more IOIs. I also need to become more confident when I introduce myself to girls. Eastern european women arent that forgiving like nordic girls.

...........

So today I started doing some mental inner work. I visualized, I put on some good fitting clothes - and I worked on my fundamentals. My talks with the girls I live with also went very well. I felt playful and good about myself. I did not want to stay at home, so I went out to one of the nearest coffee-shops to write some.

Then I met the cute barista. The one that has been acting cold towards me before. I felt goog anyways, and smiled for myself. So when it was my turn to make the order I gave her a slight smile and said.

-A single cappucino, please.
Her: Ok.
Me: (I noticed that my ex-gfs family met outside the coffeehouse. I was shocked, especially meeting her sister for the third time in two days, so I said out loud): -This is ridiculous!
Her: What?
Me: I am stumbling upon the same person for the third time in a couple of days. Its getting ridiculous. So I had to say it out loud.
Her: Smiling. A stalker then?
Me: (With a flirting voice): Yes, it is. I just have to say hi to them.

I went out to say hi to the folks. One of her sisters (the nerdy, cute one). Started to check me out. I warmly wxcused myself, and went back to grab the coffee.

Me: I guess sundays are good days here.
Her: Yes. They are quite and chill.
Me: I havent been here for a while. I do turns on what is my favorite place. But its cool to be back. What is your name?
Her: Julie. Whats yours? (Now investing more, I guess this is the turning point or whatever Chase calls it).
Me: Kristian. Are you from northern Norway?
Her: Yes.

And we started deep diving very slightly. She tells me about her birthplace. And that they have 5- bars over there. Then my ex-girlfriends family comes in (bummer).
I lose the flow and say something stupid.

Me: - That means that you people are social and stuff.

I completely lost er saying such a stupid thing. My flow was gone and I became nervous and started thinking again. I excused myself and left as fast as I could.

................................

The good thing, however, is that we vibed pretty well. And it was all based on my feelings from within. We eye flirted and had good talk. And it had nothing to do with what I said, but rather with where I was coming from. And cold approaching girls, even a barista means that I have to have that so-called X-factor to a tee. Not flinching or becoming nervous or anything. I will, however, start practicing this vibe-thing more and more from now on. Because it has nothing to do with what I say (what I say is already good enough). I just need to practice flow, vibing, x-factor and being sexual.

 

[kristian]

New epiphany:

So after my last post I wasn't feeling good, though. My confidence was low, and after going from the coffee house with Esters (my ex-girlfriends) family I was going out looking for someone to approach. I instantly saw a slim, young blonde walking towards me. I went for an approach, but all that came from my mouth was "hi", she said hi back and moved away from where I was standing. It wasn't a good approach at all, and the little confidence I had, just evaporated.

So I continued walking, I saw some other women walking in front of me, but my emotions were all over the place. I understood that I had to rest my mind. I found some stairs by the university, listened to delta-waves (binaural beats) and knew it was my encounter with my ex-girlfriends family that put me in a negative thought spiral. I went inside the feeling that triggered it all, understood that it had to do with some of the bad memories from my childhood. I worked through those memories, created some new memories with visualization and started visualizing myself approaching new women and all going well. After 15 minutes doing this, I straighten up my back, started walking like a model and put on the song "Magic", by Robin Thicke.

I started feeling good. And for every stride people started noticing me, moving out of their way and some girls giving me IOIs. I saw a stunning brunette with two of her friends. She was wearing a hat, her makeup accentuated her eyes and lips and her body was almost popping out of her yeans. Curvy and beautiful. I stopped her in front of her friends.

Me: Excuse me. I just had to say that you look amazing. Like a pop-star.
Her: Oh, thank you (big smile on her face). (Her girlfriends were almost laughting of happiness).
Me: Your hat, your outfit, everything about you seems right. (Me turning to her friends). You are her girlfriends, arent you?
They: Yes (smiling). We are just hanging out, chilling.
Me: Well then. (Turning back to the main girl) You look stunning, I wish you all an awesome day.
The whole group: Thank you. (Smiling and later turning to each other in awe).

I instantly saw this petite black girl in a group. She looked bit like Janelle Monae. I went to her.

Me: Excuse me. Do you speak norwegian?
Her: Yes I do.
Me: I saw from over there (turning toward were I was standing with the former pop-star looking girl). And I just had to come over and tell you that I find you extremelly cute. My name is Kristian.
Her: Thank you (smiling). My name is Nadine.
Me: So what are you guys doing on a day like this?

I found out that they were Jehovas Witnes. We talked about christianity and I told her (in front of her friends) that I wanted to meet up with her. She asked me for my number. I gave her mine and got her. And did not lose sight of her, even when her friends were talking to me, I still gave her my flrity eye. She flirted back, and after leaving the conversation I said that I was looking forward to seeing her (smiling at her and giving her the sexual vibe). She was giving it back and BAM! I was getting some good experience exuding the so-called x-factor.

So after this I saw a new girl. Now a tall blond one. Like many white girls here in norway, she was wearing her sunglasses on (I have to find an excuse to let them take them off). I opened her the same way as the other girls. (Do you speak norwegian and so on).
We had a nice talk, I couldnt feel that she was interested, though, but I continued talking to her. And because I insisted in a smooth way, she gave me her number. That felt good, and I continued walking some more.

Then I saw this small brunette with the perfect body walking in front of me. I did not know if this was a no-go or what, but I had to try. Even if she was walking really fast in front of me. I closed the proximity and gave her a direct opener.

Me: I just had to say, that I find you really cute.
She: Smiling. Thank you.
And she stopped walking. We start talking about her job, what she is doing that day. Again, I am more concerned about how I feel than what to say in this instance. She suddently asks me:

-So do you walk up to girls like this, uh? (Smiling).
Me: Nah, I am just a friendly and social kind of guy (flirting of course). You know, people here dont talk to strangers, but want to be their best friend when they drink. Isnt it weird?
She: Youre right. Thats so tipical norwegians.

That was a nice way of talking my way out of this actually. I think I will continue using this line. After some more minutes of talking, I was sure she wasnt interested in me. I got nervous and thought our talk wasnt all that, but she was still investing so something was right.

Me: So what do you do when youre not at work or meeting your friends?
She: I dont know. I just chill and work out. Nothing out of the ordinary, actually.
Me: We should meet one day soon.
Her: We should definitely do that.
Me: Okay, then give me your number and will connect soon.

She gave me her number and I felt great. Then I suddently see this blonde girl I was trying almost two years ago. I said her name, and she was scared, but when she saw me she got very exited. She hugged me well. And I started touching her and became horny. I guess she was horny as well. We talked some more, she is still with her french guy. But what the heck, I still invited her out. She said yes, and was exited. I left her and felt I had to go home and eat some, sleep some and make myself ready for some work.

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The cool thing is that I am rehearsing being sexual. I am trying to get that thing down and undertanding how it works. I will try to push myself even more in this department because this area in my game has been missing, actually. I now understand what women mean when they dont see me that way. This is key for undertanding seduction and it has been the missing key so far.

 

[kristian]

Not the best day since yesterday after the good interactions. All numbers did not lead to anything, but the good thing is that I consistently am starting to get numbers. I can approach a lot of women if I want to and get my state high enough to make the connection happen consistently. I am however starting out with the sexual vibing thing, and it all has to do with how warmed up I am, or if I am in a good state.

I have also been analyzing my mentors (like Marques) and he is almost always in a good mental state. I have to continue working with that because I have a good feel of the technical aspects of the game, my opening is strong, I know how to start conversation, and if the girl is not in a rush I now know how to make her invest. I still need to work on being sexual though, and my next thing in order to level up.

I approached a couple of girls since last time. The first one gave me IOIs, she was smiling at me and already stopping even before I gave her my compliment. This was a tall girl named Ena. She was in a hurry but loved my name (Kristian Fabrizio).
Her: That's quite an artistic name. And I liked how you approached me.
Me: So are you coming to the open mic night? I will be singing.
Her: I don't think I can make it, but I would love to go there next time.
Me: Too bad, though. Give me your number and lets see if we can connect.
Her: (Surprised and smiling): Wow, you're forward. Okay, ill give it to you, but my phone is a little fucked up, so I will have to give you my Facebook as well.

I am normally not open for FB-invites, but this girls excuse seemed very genuine.

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So today, on my way to work, I met another girl. A brunette wearing black jeans and a black leather jacket. I gave her a genuine compliment. She instantly smiled back at me. Happy for my compliment. She was in her way to work and had to go. I did feel she wasn't all that into me, but I asked for her number anyway, only to find out she has a boyfriend.

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And yesterday I again met my ex-girlfriend. She called me after a little texting argument we had the day prior. She was crying and cried on my shoulders. It broke me apart, and in a weak moment, I kissed her. She was kissing me with resistance, but at the same time I wasn't feeling anything romantic towards her. After a big talk it ended her saying that I was going to end up lonely and that I was going to lose my sister. My sister is against me right now and Esters family don't talk to me anymore......

I have to go now and I will write more pretty soon.

 

[kristian]

Ok, so the more in state I am, the better the results with women. I found out this has a lot to do with my mood and little to do with my game. I have already gone through the whole cold approach thing 400 times already, and my fundamentals are much better than it used to be. I am however getting the boyfriend excuse every single time lately and its a little discouraging to be honest.

However when I am already warmed up or in a mood just being in the moment, my approaches seems a lot better. It could be that my target selection becomes a lot more in tune with what I want, and it could also be that I am more aware of IOIs.

Another thing; when I am not going out "to daygame" my approaches seem more natural than going out to pick up girls. I believe some of these women can pick up on that, without being 100% sure. I think my attainability could be the number one reason why I keep losing girls that send me IOIs, and a little poor target selection could be the reason why I get rejection from women I randomly approach.

So what I should do more of is the following:
Be more gentle and attainable to women that already are into me.
Be more rested, in a better mood and more in state with women I randomly approach.

I can also start warming up like I did last week when I got four numbers in a row. That put me in a good state and I did not care if a woman was going to say yes or no to my approach long before I even started.

So after analysing my approaches since last time I wrote, I have come up with the following steps:

[*]I need to start being more in the moment in order to not care. One way could be by meditation, another way could be just walking around and being aware of my surroundings. In this stage I am only looking to become attuned with what's going up. No thoughts or worries here.

[*]I like the first warm-up thing only looking at women and smiling to them. If I could just start falling in love with them again like I did last week and the week before the approaches would be much easier. It has everything to do with how I feel towards them long before I approach, then they smile a lot back and the girls become more eager to meet.

[*]I should just be genuine and direct when I approach. The first two sets should be warm-ups. "I love your dress", "your smile is amazing" I will not have any thoughts of picking them up or getting any number at this point. These are warm ups and could get me in state.

So today I got the perfect example of this. I did not warm up though, but I felt good listening to music and being present. One of the cutest girls from my street works at a clothing store/plant store. I have seen her many times, but always to scared to approach. This time I felt good about myself so I thought it would be cool to just do it.

Me: Hey. I have seen you work here and walked past this store many time. I just had to say that I find you cute so I had to say hi.
Her (smiling and liking what I said): Well thank you.
Me: Is this a plant store of what?
Her: It is, but we also sell clothes. We have some skater style if you are interested (thinking back I was already in the hook point).
Me: Awesome. I do not look like a skater, though (pointing at my clothes).
Her: No, but we have some good fitting style here as well (still smiling and interested).
Me: Then I should come and buy some plants and some clothes one day.
Her: You should definetely do. We have good prices as well.
Me: So what is your name?
Her: Simone.
Me: (Smiling), you look french. Are from france.
Her: No, I have just brown eyes, but I am half persian. (Smiling.

This is not an excuse, but she was working and what I think could be her boss was going back and forth. So I did not have any opportunities to number close without it looking bad for her. (I tried this before and girls dont like to be picked up in front of their boss).

Me: Okay then Simone. My name is Kristian (extending my hand).
Her: Nice to meet you, Kristian (smiling).
Me: I will definitely see you again, Simone.

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Puh!

So after this. I was walking down the street. I see this not so attractive female and we smiled at each other. I wasn't all that into her, but what the heck. I could try to see what could happen here. But this did not go anywhere and I now know why.

• I did not go direct, so I lost the escalation window.

• I did also just talk about random things and held on to her, trying to find a way to force rapport. She talked, but our conversation did not hook.

• But the most important thing here, I was not into her. This was just my ego trying to get some. And this made it all seemed forced.

So being attracted to the girl I am talking to is key here. I should only approach women I already am into. And I should be warmed up already.

This can be done by being in the moment, smiling at girls and being aware of IOIs. Then I can start giving compliments and having a couple of warm ups before going direct for the girls that I really like.

 

[kristian]

So yesterday I approached one girl after the first round. She kind of gave me an invitation, but rejected me quickly.

Me: I just saw you pass me by, and I had to tell you I love your smile. I am Kristian.
Her: Well thank you. (Gave me her name).
Me: So what are you doing on a day like this.
Her: I am at work right now. I am just having a break (trying to walk away).
Me: (Becoming needy) Where do you work then.
Her: No, I just have to go. (Walking away).
Me: Okay then.

I was needy already from the start and forgot to pre-open. It all started well, but unlike Simone (from yesterday) I was already a little needy (not forgetting the fact that she was not as attractive either). At the same time, the girl was in a rush so I could just leave it at that if she wasn't willing to invest in me.

Another thing I am seeing is that, with the most beautiful women, the reactions are better. It is easier to get to the hook point and they seem a lot more interested in me. The less attractive ones act a little cold around me and come up with the boyfriend excuse. However, because I still don't believe that I can get them, I usually just approach them and walk away without trying to get their numbers. The few times I try to number close, however I get their numbers and they even meet up.

Why are the most beautiful women more interested in me than the average girls? I need to find that out.

 

[kristian]

Rejections. Flaky numbers. Needy vibes on my part. The last three weeks I've been approaching hard and meeting a lot of girls. It has been really good for getting rid of my approach anxiety, but because I haven't got any new girls since the Icelandic one I have started to date (and she is in Iceland right now) my confidence has gotten somehow down. I know I have to hang in there and trust my skills, but I am really exhausted. The last couple of days have been about work and about developing my writing skills. That has given me some of the confidence back.

I went out to make a couple of interviews for the content site I am working on lately, and saw it as an opportunity to day game as well (if the chance came up, of course). After talking to 12- 13 people I was warm enough to do some direct approach, I saw different girls on my way, but did not want to approach unless I got some clear signs. Just when I was about to walk back to the office, I instantly spotted this cute black girl. I we locked eyes and she looked down:

Me: (Approaching her and speaking English). -I just saw you walking past me, and I just have to say that I find you really attractive. I dont know if you prefer me to speak English or Norwegian. I just feel that I want to speak English to you.
Her: I dont speak Norwegian so I appreciate that you speak English.
Me: Cool. So where are you from? Let me guess, Eritrea?
Her: Etiopia, actually.
Me: I love your food. Its spicy and you have some awesome bread.
Her: Yes. We do. The food is fantastic.

Then I realized that this gave me an awesome opportunity to start screening and qualifying.

Me: So do you cook that etiopian food? (Realizing that this screen might be a little boyfriend-ish).
Her: Some, I am not an expert though.

And I should have spun a little forward with this, but I started talking more about her country (the little I know about it). It was really fun, but her feet were kind of pointing away from me (realizing I shouldve moved her a bit, but she was in a rush trying to meet a friend).

Me: I have to get going now. But I would love to grab a coffe with you soon. (A little scared she was going to decline this).
Her: That would be nice.

Then I gave her my number and she put it in there, making sure she had the right number before handing me back her phone. I sent her a message, but havent got any replies. I might get some, but Ill wait and see what happens.

So that was that. One approach, but one good one and with a girl that seemed interested in me as well. She was shy, not rejecting me and she was different from the women I usually approach (white). We will see what happens next.

 

[kristian]

So I went out again to sing at a jam. I wasn't feeling it, though and I am extremely tired at times, but I wanted to perform at one of the local open mic nights.
One girl suddenly just stands if front of me, doing nothing special and just looking down at her phone. I saw this as an invite to approach. I was too scared to just go for it so I waited, and waited and just as she was leaving the place I summoned the courage to comment on her necklace. She smiled at me and was almost laughing on her way back. I saw it as some kind of proof that my fundamentals are good enough, at least I am getting good reactions from girls.

After this, I started talking to another girl, lets call her Sabita. She is someone I have liked quite a bit and we have talked about meeting, and she was:

Her: -Do you really want to meet? Let's make it happen this time?
Me: -Of course we will make it happen. How's your schedule the next days? I might have free tomorrow.
Her: -Tommorrow I will be doing something else. What about this weekend? I might have time on Sunday (and she works a lot, but what the heck).
Me: (Thinking a bit)...
Her: Or maybe you don't have any time? (Looking at me.)
Me: Yes I do, I just have to know if I am free that day. I think I am.
Her: (Glad). Cool.
Me: Do I have your number?
Her: I think you have it.

So she was pushing a meeting. It turns out I didn't have her # because of my new phone. She was glad and we exchanged it. Sabita is however a bit dominant so I have to flirt a bit more next time. We ended our conversation on a high point (and she and her friend were talking about flirting with other guys, I just ignored those remarks and will see if she really likes me or is just flirting. I will just move forward and see what happens). Another thing, she was asking about my love life so it might be something positive?

After this I started talking to two lovely young ladies (17). We were flirting quite a bit and having fun (again, my fundamentals makes it easy to approach). I started talking to the one I found cute and asked her for her number (but she wasnt flirting with me the way I wanted to). She announces she has a boyfriend.

Me: Thats okay, we can still meet as friends, right? 
Her: Yeah, as friends?
Me: Of course as friends.
Her: I guess that migh work.

But we were having conversations under the radar. She knew I did not ment what I said, so I got some of the "under the radar" conversation I have been reading about. (The same with Sebita too).

I was tired and just wanted to get home. Then I spot this beautiful girl walking past me. We both locked eyes and she looked down, but I did not do anything about it. That was a shame cos I could clearly see that she was interested.

Then I came home and suddenly got called by one of my flatmates. I was too tired, but thought to myself; what the heck? We went to a bar, and I spotted a beautiful girl. I approached her and gave her a compliment about her walk. She said it was the best she heard in a long time.

Me: I think people can sense how you feel based on how someone's body language is.
Her: I haven't thought about it that way before. I think I will be more aware of it.

But I did not move forward. Later I kind of regret that. She was already interested (something that got confirmed by her stare when I passed her by on my way to the bathroom). However she was at work, and when I approached her she was on a break. I could just have talked to her and see how far I could take it, but I did not do anything about it.

However. Things are getting clearer to me now. Its not as foggy as it used to be

 

[kristian]

So I wasn't going to talk to anyone today. I have been a little tired of cold approach and my ego has been taking a lot of beating lately. I went for a walk with my friend Navid (we had an amazing conversation about interesting topics) and on my way back home I spot this cute girl wearing nice earrings. I go and talk to her right away.

Me: I just had to say (She is already walking her way, not noticing me)
Me: Are you listening? (smiling at her).
Her: Okay? (High pitch voices a sign that she feels above me according to one of the articles here.)
Me: I just saw you walk past me, and I love your look. You look the 80s like you come from one of Yngvar Ambjørnsens books (a famous writer in Norway).
Her: Well thank you. (Her feet pointing another way).

We talked a bit, but this girl wasn't investing so I just warmly left and went my way. A couple of minutes later (a lot of minutes to be honest). I walk to a store where people were drinking beer and eating strawberries. I go inside and ask a girl to move so I could reach the olives. I loved the way we transitioned from the olive thing to a more normal conversation.

Me: I am trying to find out where your dialect is from. I think it might be from the western part. Let me guess.... Stavanger.
Her: Pretty close, I am from a small part, not so far from Bryne.
Me: You have a good football team.
Her: Yes we have. I live in by a mountain, though. (She clearly hooked now and was investing quite in our conversation.)

But her eyes were not quite there, I just felt she was being nice without actually being interested. I tried anyways to go for the number and there came the awkwardness again. She was not interested at all. I tried to talk about some other stuff, but warmly left and looked for something else to do. I might have talked too much about my job, making myself too unattainable, but I don't think so, I tried to be humble and talk mostly about her.

So I continue walking down the street when I suddenly spot this cute brunette wearing harem pants. I was hesitating a lot before approaching and after hating myself for hesitating I just went for the approach. As always, the reaction was good, but I could also sense that she was not that into me. She did not invest in our conversation and when I asked for her number she said she did not give it away to people unless "they speak together for at last three minutes" I should have seen it coming then and there, but I did not know what to say. So I walked a bit more with her.

It turns out she broke up with her boyfriend and that she "wasn't looking for anything". I warmly left the conversation and I should have seen it coming. Then I just went home after that.

 

[kristian]

The cool thing about girls - and people in general - is that I am starting to see how they feel instead of second guessing it like I did before. Small things like eye contact, where they look, if they are nervous etc is much more easy to see. Its almost like I am starting to read peoples minds

So I went for a walk. Wasn't looking to approach anyone in particular, but that I just have a habit of cold approaching I suddenly spot this girl with hula hoop walking by my side. She was being polite, but very dismissive, so I excused myself and continued walking my way up the streets when I out of the blue spot this good looking blonde girl. I went up to her:

I just have to say, you are one of the prettiest girls I've seen in a long time
Her: (Slightly shocked) - Well thank you.... I guess....
Me: Is it weird of me coming to you like that?
Her: - It is. Not usual to experience it. (Looking at the other people on the bus stop)

Then I started asking her where she was going. I was smiling and making sure I wasn't joking or being a threat, but she wasn't being herself (acting nervous and a little skeptical). So I said that I will remember her, and I will see her again sooner or later.

So that was that. No gimmicks or anything. I understand that if I want results, I need to approach a lot more. 3 -4 girls aren't enough if I want women in my life. I am just getting used to approaching a lot of women before upping my numbers (5 - 6 a day). But I am learning and seeing the game and becoming a lot less needy.

PS. The date with Salita will not happen, btw. I also realized I made some mistakes before the date. First, I should not have sent her a message at 07:00 in the morning the next day, I think waiting until afternoon it's better. And when she flaked I should have just said OK and not tried to reschedule then and there. Salita is a very attractive girl, I should've just waited a bit, but the thing is I am lazy at answering girls sometimes so I just want to get it done instead of waiting (and forgetting them).

 

[kristian]

So Norwegian girls often get confused and shocked when I direct approach them on the streets. But when I go to a coffee house the game seems different. I go more indirectly, but because of my tension, it is easy to notice my high level of interest in them.

Today was one of those days. She entered the coffee house, a slender, blonde girl - wearing a red jacket and the most piercing eyes I've seen in a long time. I was instantly attracted but did not know how to approach. I gave up giving an excuse or finding it, so I went to the bathroom and asked her if she could take care of my computer.

Me: I have to go to the bathroom. Could you do me a favor and take care of my computer while I am away.
Her: Yes. Of course.

Her eyes said everything. This girl was indeed interested. I went back to and thanked her for taking care of it. And she was already reading a book, something I instantly commented.

Me: Thank you very much. Is that an interesting book btw?
Her: Idk. I am waiting for someone and I just found this book. It is about kabala.
Me: Ive heard kabala is Jewish mysticism.
Her: Is that so. (Her eyes were suddenly awake. I could see this was the hooking point)

So our conversation started evolving from here. I introduced myself. So did she, and she started qualifying herself at an instant (this was cool).
And I made it sure I kept talking a bit about myself, but letting her do most of the talking. (Amazing deep dive).

She also had one ot two sexual innuendos. But I did not play so much with it (realizing I could make my intensions even more clear). However, I was sending her a lot of love through my eyes, and she was reciprocating it (which was amazing btw). After this, and clearly listening to her stories I saidthe following.

Me: I really find you interesting (flirty eyes). I would really like to take you out on a coffe.
Her (clearly happy): Yes, we should.

So she gave me her number. I told her I was going to text her, before we started talking about some other topics. I said I had to go. And thanked her for an good talk.
She was a little shocked that I had to go (maybe I did a mistake here?). Had a conversation with my boys (who were sitting somewhere else at the coffe house) and meet her again on my way out. She says goodbye. I say goodbye and we both go our way.

(I see that theres something about my ending that was not that smooth (and you know how girls are unforgiving about mistakes, especially in cold approach). Now I will send her a message in an hour to smooth it out. And just ask her out this week.

Things I could do better:

Leave her even more warmly.
Put in some more sexual tension.

Things I did good:

Opening.
Eye flirting and good deep diving.
Knowing when to end things and when to close her.
Reading her signs.

The good thing is that ive been practicing being in state and sexual without saying a word. Women love it, and I will just keep on practicing it till I get it down. All in all a very good approach.

 

[kristian]

So I was minding my own business with my friend Kristoffer at the local coffee house. This cute, petite blonde girl appears, she sits by herself and starts typing on her computer on the table next to us. I and Kris start to talk about my sports skills (which are nonexistent) and I tell him that I am not the best player.

Me: I just spent my life singing instead of playing sports (I say half jokingly).

The blonde girl notices this, smiles at me and turns her head back to her computer (clear approach invitation in my eyes). Kris and I talk a bit more and when our conversation dies out I figure out how to start a conversation with this cute girl.

Me: Excuse me. Are you an artist or something? I just saw your FB-profile and couldn't help noticing that you were posting on a page.

Her: Not an artist. I am a singer, actually. I was managing my fan-page. (This is clearly a qualification from her part).
Me: That's awesome. What do you sing?
Her: Soul and blues with a hint of indie (smiling and we quickly reaching the hook point).

A small conversation ensues. Now we got it going on really good. Her name is Maria and she is from western Norway. She moved here around 5 years ago. She asks me questions, but I answer them before I move the topics on to her. We had good eye contact and we also forgot that I was a stranger that approached her on a coffee house.

Me: We should sing together sometimes.
Her: That would be nice (smiling).
Me: So what is your number then?

We exchange numbers, but like last time, I couldn't make the transition smooth from our conversation. (It was because I started thinking about Kris being witness to all of this, making her uncomfortable). But I told her I would send her a message before leaving. Kris was clearly impressed with my approach, but I felt that I could be better at being in the moment and transitioning from the number to the exit of the conversation. Its very clear to see what people over here has been saying before, girls on cold approach aren't that forgiving of mistakes - she hasn't responded to my message. But she might do it the following days.

After this, I met this cute brunette I know from cold approach (2014 in a club). She was clearly glad I approached her, so I asked her out. This girl, let's call her Monica, is a known musician in Norway and renown in the international Jazz scene (plays sax), so she tells me she has to make sure her schedule fits me in (which is awesome, considering how valuable her time is). I told her I would send her a message (which I also did after a couple of hours, she hasn't responded yet). But I was glad she wanted to meet me. Let's see what happens there.

And after this, I had a date. It was awesome because I am starting to build sexual tension on command. She had to go after an hour (she had an appointment). And she was really wanting to kiss me. However, I read somewhere here that when you're having date compression it is better to not kiss in order to not kill tension and instead wait for a next date. She was hinting for new dates at our meeting so I figured out I would meet her next week.

We said goodbye on the bus stop (her eyes really ready to eat me up).

Things I need to work on:

Being in the moment.
Making transitions from number close to normal conversations need to be smoother.
Better at sending texts.

Things I did awesome
Sexual tension.
Sending love to the girls.
Opening.
Going for close.
Physical escalation.

 

[kristian]

Another girl, another date today. This was also one from my extended social circles (a neighbor that kind of know my flatmates). A tall, blonde, Swedish 24 yo woman. She is around 186 cm 6 ft 1 inches, I am 170 5 5, but I have never been a guy who puts so much attention to my height.

Like the previous date this girl also wanted to meet me during daytime (I think it's common for girls I meet through social circles). Cold approach girls are more keen to meet me at nighttime with alcohol involved. But what the heck, if I have to kiss them passionately on the second date that's okay. It's not that I am super advanced either. At this stage of my game, I am more concerned about getting as many high-quality interactions with women as possible. Living with four girls and having a lot of pals that also day game (4 guys now) will push my skills to the next level. I am still far from my goal, but I feel everything will just click in mid august - September and I will continue my growing curve.

This blonde, tall girl, let's call her Veronica was very glad upon seeing me (I think I will try coming a little later from now on, girls waiting is the same as them investing). We talked a lot, I flirted and looked at her eyes a whole lot, but she did not want to kiss (unlike the one from yesterday). However, I made some cool moves, like making her invest, looking at her jewelry and steering the comversation where I wanted them to go.

She suddenly asks me if I want to go out with her again. (She is actually chasing, haha).

I went to the bathroom, and my instinct kept telling me to move the interaction forward. We were drinking tea, so I wanted to see if we could drink a glass or something. I proposed it, she declined and in a split second I froze. I kept my cool and changed the topic, trying to end the date on a high point. She said she did not have any plans for that day, but I don't have any reference points at seducing girls without alcohol. So I just ran it as an informational date in the hopes to see if she wanted to see me again (which she much wanted, btw).

So we walked together under her umbrella. I held her tightly and we talked about our height difference wich none of us seemed to mind at all. I ended the date on the highest point possible and told her I wanted to meet her again after my trip to Iceland. She became very curious about that trip, so I said I wanted to meet her again.

Things I could do better this time:
Inviting her home.
Acting even more cool to her decline for drinks.

Things I did well:
Moving forward.
Steering conversation.
Touch and sexual tension.
Sending love.
Ending it at a high point.

Since I mentioned Iceland I will send them a message with a picture of me on sunday. Nothing more, before taking contact again when I am back. Lets see what happens.

 

[kristian]

What a day. I had around 13 - 14 approaches with different girls in the ages 17 - 26 (I believe).
A lot of them were nice brushoffs (from their part). Some awesome conversations and I even got a couple of numbers.

I don't feel like writing all the interactions, but I can give you some of the most memorable I had.

The first one was simply a warm up. This was a slender brunette, and when I go out to approach her she got glad I gave her my compliment. Her name was Denise and I asked her if she had some foreign blood in her. She said her father is Portuguese, and when I started talking about my latin-American heritage, she smiled warmly and we got to the hook point. This girl was however in a civil union, but glad I stopped her and to talk. She knew that my intentions were romantic/sexual so she did not want to give me her number. At least I am not friend zoning myself anymore.

Then I stopped this stunning blonde girl. Nice ass. Big breasts. She wasn't feeling it, though, and kindly excused herself. No worries I was having a blast.

After this, I stopped this cute girl from Romania. Eve is her name. She had a boyfriend and said she could meet me "as friends", but was very flirty and let me touch her. So I got her FB. I will see if I can meet her.

Her: (After seeing my profile): Wow! Your timeline photo looks like you're spiritual.
Me: I am. What about you?
Her: Not much. (laughing a bit).

I continued talking to some other girls, no interest. Suddenly I spot this nerdy looking brunette. Nice ass. Blue eyes. She could not believe it when I approached her. I touched her hand, and she immediately pulled it back. I smiled and made a joke about it, she laughed and the hook point was already reached.

I find out her name is Sara, she recently moved to the city and worked at one of the cafeterias nearby where we were standing. She wanted to become a nurse and taught me how to pronounce some of the Swedish words that are hard to pronounce. I handed over my phone. She gave it to me and made sure I had the right digits. I gave her a warm smile and told her I was going to text her. She left the conversation giggling (nice to see how my presence make girls nervous).

Another important thing, I am not sending girls in auto-rejection as much anymore. Connections seem genuine, I am warmer than ever.

So then I got a clear IOI from a girl named Maryam. She is Turkish and glad I approached her (I guess my fundamentals made her hook instantly). I was talking about the area she grew up in Oslo and we talked a bit about the country her parents are from. Then I tell her I want to see again. She was very glad I asked her out.

Her: Its amazing that you just talk to people like this. (very excited).
Me: I know. I just saw you and acted instinctively (smiling).
Me: You look like fun btw, like Turkish delight.
Her: I am (now we are already sexual, haha).

So I had some other approaches. Some girls here in Norway seem a little weirded out when I tell them that I find them attractive. A lot of them like it thoug, but seem a little shocked now and then.

After this I went to meet Su and her friends (she is the flatmate that I really like, but wont go "there" with). We eye flirted insanely. She liked the way I looked at her. Because I really want her like crazy. I was mostly about trying to tell her (with my eyes) how much I want her. She reciprocated! (She also bought me a beer (she got it for free though)).

Me: When I hang out with you I feel like the guy from "The Perks Of Being a Wallflower". And Su is Emma Watsons character.
Everybody: Yes that's an awesome movie. (Su was smiling for herself):

I have told her I got a feeling we will meet again after she moves out. And that we will hang out even more. I think she likes that a lot.

And then walk for myself a bit more. I see a lot of cute girls. Then I suddenly see T A. A girl that sings. I tell her I know her and that I remember her very well. I also say I want to see her again.

Me: So T A. I want to meet you again.
Her: Well...
Me: Here is my phone. Put your number there and we will meet.
Her: Okay.

We talk a bit more.

Her: So what's your name again?
Me: I go by many names. But you can call me Kristian Fabrizio.

And then I see her going out again. Almost grasping for air after our encounter. I laugh at this. Game and flirting seems fun now, haha.
Later she send me a message telling me she appreciated me being that forwardm but that she aint looking for "that kind of encounter". Again, I am spiking the sexual tension amazingly high. I need to work this out a bit and calibrate, but I am having more fun than ever with this. So I will continue on this journey a bit more.

Things that I could do differently:
Not skipping the most beautiful girls.

Things I did amazingly:
Verbal game.
Closing.
Sexual tension

 

[kristian]

Today

She: I have a boyfriend so you can just be myself. Don't need to pretend.
Me: You could be single and I'll still be me. (I said with a smile in my face).

She couldn't answer to that and became a little attracted by my answer. Later she wanted me and my friend to stay with her and her girlfriends. However, I wanted to continue day gaming and meeting new women so I wasn't in the mood to hang around with them. Besides, I was hanging out with my pal and we had a lot to talk about.

Yesterday

She did not want to come to place. I asked her several times and each time I got a firm no. I wasn't intending to lose her this time. We were moving towards the end of our very last date end at the same time ending a 15 months old romance.

Her: I just see you as friends, Kristian. You never wanted to commit. Besides, I have some new options to seek for.
Me: Lets take a couple of drinks before you leave then. The bar is over there. (Me pointing at the bar).

I later told her the truth. That I wasn't a guy to seek for relationships and that I wanted to stay single. She tells me she always knew that. "We grew up from each other, Kristian. I see you as a brother", she says with a firm voice. I find a secluded place in the middle of the bar, but I am also registering other girls checking me out. But we have been hanging out for eight hours now, and she was already in the land of auto-rejection. I would kill myself if I let her go.

She: You know that I can kick your ass, don't ya? (Slightly teasing me and trying to tickle me).
Me: Let's find out (reaching for her body and tickling back).

We were back and forth for a while now. She was still telling me she won't sleep with me this time. We were flirting with other people in front of each other. But earlier that day, we sat on the beach and snuggled and held hands. "I can't trust her words", I said to myself. I will see if her actions speak louder. Besides, I read somewhere here that

A little moment before leaving the place to grab a meal, she started a conversation with somebody else. I have been in a couple of dates where I lost her. Almost panicked and reached for her back, she the ditches the guy she were talking to and I decide to take her out of the place before somebody else steals her away (and believe me, it has happened with this particular girl before).

Now let me tell you a bit about this girl. We used to go together at high school, me being one year her senior. This girl is very attractive and in my eyes one of the most beautiful women I have had the pleasure to sleep with so far. Tight body, athletic physique and a face to kill for. I picked her up at one of the local libraries after not seeing her for a while. We have had around 20 dates so far, ending with sex around 80 % every time.

Me: Since you bought me the last beer, let me buy you something to eat. There are some good falaffels you can take away that you can eat.
Her: I told you I am not going to spend time at your place.

She did not want falaffel and instead wanted me to buy her a børek. I did this and as we walked out of the store, I knew this was one of the desicive moments. "I have to walk to my place, as if its gonna happen", I said to myself.

She was starting to go the same direction as the bus stop. I was walking my way to her home. This was a battle of wills. And then it hit me, I did not really care if she does not follow me now, I said to myself. Suddenly she starts walking my way and following me. I knew I won this one.

At home she just sits at the couch. And starts to eat. I just go to my room to "relax", well knowing that she eventually has to follow me. Where else would she go? (Thank you Ricardus Domino).

She follows after around 10 minutes, only to be met by a lot of candle lights. She sits down at my couch and I start caressing her body. I play with her, put some oil on her and ask her to dance for me naked in bed while I was getting increasingly horny by her body. I just came from a trip from Iceland with my other lover and coming from a trip with a lot of sex gave me the confidence that I could give this girl in my bed, naked and oiled down a good time. I touch her vagina, soaking wet.

She tells me she is on her period. I bring my towel and start fucking her. She turns around and I hit it from her back.

She: Finger me while fucking me (almost in a comanding voice):

I do that and after 5 minutes she comes hard. Harder than ever before. I guess the anticipation made her this way. I could call her premature coming that fast.

Then she starts laughting. Pulls away and starts putting her clothes on.

She: Now I have to go. Thank you for making me come. And I am sorry I dont want you to finish, I guess this is my time to come and just pull out.

Have I just been used sexually? I guess I have....

The next day she sends me a message thanking me for an amazing night. And that she hopes I did not get hurt by last nights talk and actions.

I replied she never hurt me. And that being with her has been an adventure.

She then send me a heart. <3

--------

So back to today. I meet around 10 girls just as my last day game adventure. My day game pal, lets call me Morten gave me some valuable lessons. Firstly, success has everything to do with concistency. Going out and meeting girls is more important than results. Some days I will get numbers, dates, lays and everything. Other days and espesially now that I am still on my way to becoming advanced, I will be more than happy to just approach a bunch of women. So I did and of 10 approaches I got to the hook point with 4 girls.

Two of them I really hit it off with. One of them was a stunning blonde girl wearing tights and with an ass from another world. I approached her in front of her friends, gave her a genuine compliment and later asking her if she speaks Norwegian.

She: I dont.
Me: So where are you from then?
She: From Czech Republic (with a smile).
Me: I have been there. With my school a long time ago. I had an amazing trip in Prague.
She: Oh, thats cool. What were you doing over there? (Already reaching the hook point).
Me: And I know about a city named Brno too. I have a friend from there.
She: Thats awesome. (Already flirting with me):
Me: (Trying to find out her logistics) So are you travelling in Oslo?
She: Yes I am. But I am leaving tommorrow. And until then I will be spending some time with my friends. (Pointing at them and looking a little sad).
Me: I see. Have a nice stay then. You look stunning btw. (Smiling and leaving warmly).

I just realized that the more I like the girl, the easier it gets to reach the hook point. The girl I approached previous to the stunning Czech blonde was a brunette. However she was already boarding to the tram as we reached the hook point. I could have just made her wait some more, but I guess I wasnt there enough.

One more thing. The more I do this, the more women like me. Its like they can sense the amount of pre selection I am getting from this. I dont know if its real or something that I just imagine, but when my approach anxiety dissipates, I just get hotter.

So then me and my friend just starts talking to some girls that were trying to rent bicicles. I quickly reached the hook point. I take out my phone and tell her:

Me: Lets see if we can meet one day soon. Giving her my phone.
She: Okay, I guess that should work.
Me: Thats cool. Lets text and find out what happens.

When I came home, I went for a texting spree, sending messages to all my leads. The last girl I talked to answered me. I proposed a date. Lets see what happens.

So that was it. Talking to ten girls and reaching the hook point with three is awesome.

Things I could do better:
Being more flirtacious and sexual.
Making the girl invest.
Qualifying.

Things I did well:
Finding out which girls are interested and which arent.
Leading.
Closing.
Sexual tension with the girls I vibe with.

Another thing. The girl I had a romance with from Iceland is madly in love with me. Thats awesome, but I have to keep my eyes on the goal. My priority is getting good with girls first and foremost.

 

[kristian]

I haven't been writing here for a while now. I've just been busy working, reading about pickup and meditating instead of spending my leisure time approaching and analyzing my outings. I've been approaching a couple of girls daily and having some interactions, but a lack of proper sleep (I live at a party street with a lot of noise at night) has not been good for my mental state in order to be on top. I guess I have to learn how to approach even when I am tired, but I will come to that pretty soon.

It's easy to see which girls are interested in me from the get-go and which I just need to end my conversations with. I still have some AA, but very little - if I decide to talk to a girl I'll just do it.

So yesterday I approached four or five girls. The first two weren't that interested, but my fundamentals and technique are so good (when I am well rested, mind you) that girls tend to listen to me. Girls here often listen to music or send messages when I approach, but they usually stop what they are doing in order to listen to what I have to say. Often they take this very well and smile. At least I have the skills to even make the most uninterested girls day.

After this, I saw this amazing blonde woman. She had a tiny waist, round, but firm ass and was wearing a tight, brown dress. I just had to talk to her. I approached her, used my technique and told her that I saw her from across the street and just had to come over and present myself.

Me: You are stunning. I just had to tell you that. And I have to introduce myself. I am Kristian.
Her: Well thank you (her girlfriend were in awe watching the whole approach). My name is Margit. (She actually curtsied when she gave me her hand, I held it a little longer, surprised at her little gesture).
Me: You curtsied, actually (smiling). Allow me to bow. (Bowing)
Me: So what are you doing on a day like this, Margit?
Her: We are looking for a place to eat. So we are just looking for a nice place to go.

I just realized that I could start talking a little more with Margit at her friend. But I noticed that they were almost waiting to walk away. The tension was very high already.

Me: I see that you are on your way and I have things I need to do. Why don't you give me your number and we will see what happens?
Her: I guess we could do that. But I am not looking to date right now.
Me: Let's just see what happens. We don't need to conclude with anything. (smiling).
Her: I guess that could work out. (Giving me her number).
Me: My heart is pounding already.
Both girls start smiling and laughing a bit.
Me: I'll text you, Margit. it has been a pleasure talking to you. Goodbye.

I sent her a message, only for her to not respond. I guess I did not handle her objection about "not dating right now" well enough. But I think the critical part of it was not building enough emotional connection by deep dive and screening and qualifying.

I will try to do this, even more, when I find a girl that respond well to me. And I know that statistically, I'll get one or two good responses for every 10 approaches, which is a pretty good rate. I guess I have worked hard on my fundamentals lately.

Meeting girls is fun, and I have some leads here and there. I love this game and will continue growing my understanding of women the more time flies by.

Things I could do better:
Not avoiding the best-looking girls.
Finding a way of not being too tired or learning to approach with low energy.
Emotional connection.

Things I did great:

Being decisive.
Sexual vibing.
Closing and getting numbers.

So tommorrow I will have a "date". My goal here is to still usemy sexual vibing. I will also be brave and day game an hour before to see what happens. And if it goes all right with this girl, I will invite her home and take it from there.

 

[kristian]

After reading Chases articles about moving forward and escalation windows I realized the following things:

1. I should have moved forward with Linda when she wanted to be kissed.
2. I should have invited Vanja to my place.
3. I did the right thing with Audur deep diving and chase framing. And being humble.
4. Flirting with other girls, especially after Kristiane left that guy on the bus, someone she liked a lot to be with me felt like punishment for her. I should just have rewarded her for that act.

Lesson learned. But most importantly moving forward and rewarding women for them complying should be the thing.

 

[kristian]

I don't remember my three approaches today that well, but I can recall some interesting things about them.

The first one, a black girl from Dominican Republic, was cool. She was investing and interested, but her man was nearby.
The second one was I redhead I saw across the street. I bantered some and she was smiling and having a but fun, but I was taken by surprise when she suddenly starts walking another direction. So I bailed.
The third one was pretty random. She started investing a lot in the conversation. When I tried to go for the number, however, she said she had a boyfriend.

So that was that. I am getting quite good at building rapport now, but then I forget to be a little sexual and make them comply. I must also put in some banter after pre-opening. I should be pre-opening a lot more.

Things I can do better
Investment.
Not forgetting being sexual when I am deep diving.
Finding more about her hopes and dreams.
I had some approach invitations I did not take. I should have done that when I was out earlier today.

Things I did well
No approach anxiety.
Good fundamentals.
Better at deep diving.

 

[kristian]

I've been analyzing my game lately. A lot. And came to the conclusion that the main reasons why I am still at this level are investment from the girl and deep diving. So I started going out a bit just to practice these two things.

I had around five approaches today. All direct and all with the goal of getting these two aspects handled. I am also going out with a scrapbook and a pen, just to write down small details about the interactions when I go out.

On my way to work, I spotted this cute girl as she was entering a shop. I stopped her and gave her my compliment. She starts getting really nervous. My intro made her invest because she moved closer to me when I asked her to. So I figured out I wanted to deep dive some and have some emotional connection.

Me: So you said you want to move to New York. Are you trying to make it in the entertainment industry?
Her: No. (Turning her body away, slightly annoyed by my question).
Me: Ok, come closer so we can talk without blocking the way (as she was standing in front of the shop door).
Her: I am sorry. I have to go now.

A blowout, in other words, but I was feeling good for trying to get complies and investment. I went to work, figuring out I could approach a bit more on my way back home. I spot this cute brunette wearing a black dress. I give her my compliment, but she acts a little scared. Not the best intro there. Besides, her friend was just standing in front of me.

After that, I open a blonde girl. She did not understand anything. Starts walking without trying to invest.

Then, on my way out for a walk after a couple of hour of rest I tried to be a little more polarizing I see this muslim girl checking me out and asked her loudly if she was from Irak. Both her and her friend blows me out. Harsh rejection.

So I went for a longer walk. Still a little taken aback from the harsh blowout. I was looking for some girls to approach, but I did not find any, so I just sat by myself at the park meditating. When I start going to the street, I spot this tall brunette. I give her my compliment and she starts walking away (in other words, not investing). I wanted to excuse myself, but saw this as an opportunity to start deep diving. She just arrived to Oslo from a small town a couple of hours away. She was studying development studies. But the thing that made her really open herself was the question about what her dream job could be. But she had a boyfriend and I just realized that I need to make girls invest earlier on and start turning up my sexual vibe a notch or two.

So I was looking at some youtube videos lately from this guy goodlookinglooser he was talking about touching and holding a girls hand. I think I will start doing this a lot more and building up my sexual vibe even more.

And tomorrow I will as well go out, and really push my limits. I see that it is easier to go indirectly, but very flirty. And I can see that my best approaches are the ones after my 7th or 8th approach. So I will try to go for these goals.

1. Early investment and deep dive.
2. Physical escalation.
3. When I am really warm, I will try to see if I can have an instant date and see if I can go "all the way".

So that was that. I had a date last week, though. Out of nowhere, actually. And I managed to take her home (couldnt pass LMR, but it was fun).

Things I can do better


Be more polarizing.
Upping investment.
Fundamentals.

Things I deep well
Deep dive.

 

[kristian]

So this was the day I tried the "Are you single?" approach as described in this article https://www.girlschase.com/content/are-you-single-why-always-ask-girls. I wasn't very keen at trying it when I first went out after work, but when Ricardus was writing about the reactions you get: "It throws them off… they often stutter and don’t know what to say at first. It’s quite funny to watch actually." - I decided to give it a try anyways.

I spot this cute girl wearing training tights and pre-open her. She looks at me and I say it.

Me: Are you single? (With flirty eyes, of course).
Her: Why do you ask? (Looking back and smiling).
Me: I am just curious.
Her: I guess I am.
Me: I just saw you walking past me. And I had to say that In really find you cute, Kristian is my name.

We talked for a couple of minutes. I couldn't find any points to start deep diving with. So we talked about intermittent fasting and training. I ask her out, and she deflects by saying maybe. I guess I didn't build enough connection anyways. I thought I could try polarizing a little. I grabbed her hand and started talking about some random topics. She pulled it back. I excused myself and left.

After this I spot another cutie. Great ass. Blue eyes. I got the same, surprised reaction, but this girl had a boyfriend and they have been together the last five yeats.

But thank you for being so forward. I really appreciate it (with a big smile on her face).

I guess I made her day then.

Its not often I go out "just to approach women". Usually I run errands or meet a friend. This time it was Marius, a guy I meet twice a week to eat for free (we go to a restaurant that gives away their food before they close) and meet girls. He was running a little late so I start talking to this cute girl sitting by herself. I usually dont go directly at coffeehouses and restaurants so I tried to go indirectly, just to rehearse my deep diving skills.

Me: Hi, how are you?
Her: Hi, I am doing good. How are you.

She hooks. I talk as little about myself as possible. My friend Marius comes and I introduce her to him. I am usually not the best to remember names, but so I introduced her with the wrong name (forehead smack).

I ask her for her number and she says I remind her of her best friends ex-boyfriend. I can also see that she looks at me in between conversations. I was good at pregnant pauses and creating intrigue, but it was difficult to make her invest more than just talking.

And then, as she was talking a bit to her friend, I started a conversation with somebody else thinking she would stay a couple of more minutes.

Her: I have to go now. Goodbye

I was surprised. I guess she tought by then that I was a sociable guy (auto-rejection). She leaves and Marius says I need to hug girls or leave them warmly before saying goodbye. (Another forehead smack!).

It was getting late and it was rainy. We did not spot any girls. I tell Marius that we should go to the mall, only to be encountered by young girls (14 - 16yrs). I spot one cute 20 yo and give her my "Are you single?" question. She reacted surprised only to tell me she had a boyfriend.

Oh, thats nice. How long have you been together?
Her: Very long (continue to walk)

So that was it. All in all an ok day considering that it was late and girls where not on the street. I tell Marius that we should go to clubs and approach, he agrees. He tells me we should start daygaming a little earlier as well. We agree to meet this weekend and approach many girls.

Things I could do better
Remember names.
Leaving her warmly if we cannot date.
Getting past small talk on the street.
Flirting a bit more.
Polarize.

Things I did well
Deep dive.
Good eye contact and pregnant pauses.
Intrigue.
Pre-open.
Number close.

 

[kristian]

Another day of mass approaches (for me its more than 5-6). And a lot of aha-moments. As yesterday, today was about testing the "Are you single?" approach. And after talking to 10 girls I can easily conclude that this approach is far better than the compliment opener. By far.

I go out and as I walk to the local cafeteria to do some writing, I see this brunette checking me out from behind (I guess this is quite normal), she instantly looks away (but its too late now that she got caught staring at my ass ) I walk up to her and deliver it from a frame of authority, almost teasing her a bit.

Me: Are you single?
Her: (After giving it a thought). Yes, I am (looking at me with curiosity and smiling).
Me: I just passed you by and I really find you cute walking around with your brochure and everything (a little light humor here). I just had to come over and say hi. My name is Kristian.
Her: Thank you. My name is Ida.
Me: Nice to meet you Ida. So what are you looking at btw?
Her: This is a brochure with a lot of restaurants. I love food and I think I will visit a lot of them.
Me: Cool. So you are a kind of person who loves culinary adventures. Thats awesome.

And then she, out of nowhere, starts overthinking things. I was standing a little closer to her than usual, but my last comment put her off. Don't know why.

Her: I just have to say. I am travelling to India in 9 days. So I am not looking for anything serious right now. (Which is a clear sign that she is looking for a lover).
Me: Who said I was looking for something serious. Its not that we are getting married or anything.
Her: No, but I can't involve myself in anything right now.
Me: Lets just hang out and have fun then (now I am supplicating, not good).
Her: I have to go now.
Me: Okay then. You might not see me again. You know that.
Her: That's okay.
Me: (Still looking for a warm leave, but a little put off): Lets just forget this. Give me a hug and well leave it at that.
Her: No, I don't want to. I dont know you. (Then she starts walking away).

That was the weirdest blowout ever. It started so good and ended in a bizarre way. So after having a job meeting I go out again. This time just to buy a nail clipper and continue working. Then the cutest girl appears. I start running after her and just as I was to deliver my opener she acts very happy.

Her: Oh, its you. Mr Flavio. (And very happy).
Me: (How the hell does she knows my last name? Just act cool now). Yes, its me. (I was literally taken aback). May I ask. Where do I know you from?
Her: We had an amazing conversation at Cafe Sør a year ago or so (again, she might be one of the no-where-go-girls I often meet, but that I leave warmly. Now I am happy I do this often). How are you doing?

So we talked a bit. She tells me she have to go to the piercing studio. I join her and we have an amazing conversation as she is waiting her turn.

Then, because I am practicing moving the interaction forward, I take her to drink something. It turns out she has a boyfriend, but she is still flirty and letting me steer the whole thing. So I thought this would be an opportunity to practice some new things and see what could possibly happen.
And again after reading Chases post on being more polarizyng https://boards.girlschase.com/viewtopic.php?f=6&t=10206, I just grab her hand and start touching it. She let me and I am sending sexual vibes like crazy, something she clearly sees and reciprocate. "Game on I thought to myself" before I tell her to come home with me to drink a cup of tea.

But the more I turn up things, the more she mentions her boyfriend. I guess she really wanted my by now, so I had to see if I could close things out.

Her: You live really close (she says after I tell her my address. I guess its smart to live that close to the biggest bar street in town.)
Me: And I have the best tea ever. Its black, but it will wake us up (smiling).

At my place and after playing with my cat I touch her lower back, then her arms. I kiss her on her arms and she start smiling. I then go for the mouth and she resists.

Me: I really find you attractive. You smell soooo good.
Her: Wow. I love your honesty, I am just in a good relationship with my bf, thats why I cant go any further.

Then we talk a bit more. I try escalating again. Now she stop me.

Her: I am really sorry. I cant cheat on him (and the fact that he was calling a lot during our time together confirms that).
Me: (I guess it was okay to respect her wishes, besides, with no alcohol or mdma to make things easier I was far away).

So we get up. Go for a walk (holding each other as well). And have an amazing time together. I still tried to keep the sexual tension up though.
She says she really want to see me again (why? She knows I want her.) I say "Totally" so we will see what happens next.

Part 2 will come later....