From lame ass to badass. My transformation

[kristian]

So I talked to 6 or 7 girls after the date. All with the same opener. I see that when I am 100 % confident and my voice and tonality, as well as my posture and gestures are on point, girls answer "yes". I believe this opener is a good way to gauge your own level of fundamentals.

I got some "no's", don't get me wrong, but I feel that I am at a stage where attraction is pretty much covered (when I am dressed up).

However, because of my lack of game and conversational skills, I still lose most of the girls. I get good reactions, but can't seem to keep them when I start talking. So I think I need to work more on the "game"-aspect.

I also believe that its time to have someone more experienced than me to look at my approaches and coach me. I still haven't found someone that can teach me, though, but I think I will buy a coaching session or two here.

Things I can do better:

Deep dive and getting past small talk.
Flirting and repartee after my opener.
More investment.

Things I do well (at least better)
Moving forward and being in "charge".
Sexual tension.
Logistics (considering today's instant date).

 

[kristian]

I was not intending to approach anyone but as I started to warm up socially and walking on the street I started to talk to some girls. There weren't too many girls to approach today and I skipped some I should have approached (I guess there's still anxiety there). I managed however to talk to six girls today. Not that many, but these where very educational.

Let me tell you what happened.

Cute bartender
So the first girl is someone I already knew. I have said hi to her in the past (she is a bartender) and I promised myself that if I saw her again, I just had to go and tell her that I like her. She appears and I shout her name.

Me: Emma. Is that you?
Her: (Smiling and a little surprised).
Me: I have seen you at Cafe Sør. I find you cute and I wanted to say hi.
Her: Oh, thank you (very glad at my remark).

I usually don't approach girls with friends, but I just felt that I had to talk to her. They were 10 feet from us, listening to the whole conversation and waiting for us a little impatiently. So I tried to move things forward a bit by asking her where she works now and what kind of place it was (I really do not remember the name). Then I said I wanted to take her out for a coffee. She declines. I say that's okay, wish her a good day and start walking away.

I just realized that asking for a coffee is to boyfriendy (and have been guilty of doing this for a while now). At least I did a good thing for talking to a girl I like.

The turkish girl
And then I see this girl from my extended social circle (she works with another girl I kind of dated a year ago). She was a little drunk already and when she saw me, she was already hugging me really tightly (like chest to chest, haha). I had a feeling that I might be having a chance here, so I instantly started asking for her plans later this evening.

Me: So what are you up to, Cecilie.
Her: I am out with my colleagues. We are having this drinking marathon tonight and we are going from place to place.
Me: Oh. So you are visiting every bar in this street?
Her: Yes, we are.
Me: I live here. Did you know that (Pointing at my building)
Her: That's awesome.
Me: Why don't you give me your number and we will figure out if we can meet.

She was happy that I asked her that and was more than willing to give it to me (her number, that is ). I noticed that she was wearing lenses and I commented that (we were already flirting by now). She smiled at me before I left her warmly and told her I was going to send her a message later in the evening (I just send her a message as we speak, so I will see if I can isolate her and get her somewhere else if she responds).

The one I was brutally honest with
And then I continued walking. I was already a little warmed up by now but skipped a couple of girls on my way up to my destination (a coffee-house one hour walk from my home). I was also looking for some spots to take pictures and then I see this brunette with freckles and a nice ass passing by. I read somewhere that its best not to look directly at their eyes before approaching, so I did what was best and tried to approach her when she was a couple of meters away. I pre-opened her, but she turned around even before I touch her. I did not care and touched her anyways before I looked at her.

Me: Are you single?
Her: Yes, I am.
Me:I saw you passing me by. I just had to come over and tell you I really find you attractive. Kristian is my name (reaching out my hand).
Her: Thank you. (Shaking my hand). My hands are cold (Smiling).
Me: My are warm. I have been walking for 45 minutes now.
Her: Wow that's awesome. I am also walking. I am looking for some food right now.

I could have just walked with her and maybe see if I could take an instant date. But I wanted to be by myself.

Me: So what do you do when you're not walking and looking for a place to eat?
Her: I work.
Me: What do you work with? I just have to get to know you. I find you cute. (These transitions are hard btw, from compliment to situation to rapport).
Her: I work with product design.
Me: Let me guess... You find out when and how you can sell a product?
Her: Not exactly. I make supplements. Like vitamins and that sort of thing.
Me: That's cool. I usually never take supplements, but I know I need some vitamin D. I need more sun than nordic people (I am brown btw )
Her: We all need sun.
Me: So have you been sunbathing abroad (pointing at her tan and nice freckles).
Her: No. I have only been in Norway this summer.
Me: I have been travelling. But not in a sunny country (referring to Iceland and trying to make her bait. She did not take it, though).
Her: That's sad...(Trying to test me, I guess).
Me: Lack of sun doesn't have to necessarily be sad.
Her: True that. (Smiling. I guess I passed it.)
Me: So. How old are you?
Her: I am 25 years old. How old are you?
Me: Take a guess. (*wink and flirty eye)
Her: Oh. I guess. 26- 27?
Me: I am 30 years old.
Her: Oh thats cool.

By now I wanted to see if she could comply some. So I ask her to come with me and buy something. She declines, saying she on her was somewhere else. So I ask her for her number so we could meet for a coffee (again too boyfriend material).

Her: I am kind of seeing someone. (I read somewhere that this is a gentle let down).
Me: Don't we all kind of date someone? (Flirty eyes). Don't we? (devilysh smile). (This is kind of a good comeback, btw).
Her: (Thinking....). I know. But this is kind of getting serious, I want to see what this could be before I meet someone else (again, my mistake was not being enough lover).

Then I thought the interaction was kind of ruined anyways. So I wanted to try out some new stuff.

Me: Ok. You are rejecting me kindly. You are letting me down easy. But who can blame a brotha for trying? (Smiling).
Her: haha (smiles).
Me: Tell your guy I tried to pick you up. Guys get crazy when they see their girls getting hit on by other guys.
Her: That's true. He needs to make things happen now.

And then I asked her about her dating past. This is an attractive girl but never has someone approached her on the street like me. She also tells me all of her previous dates/bfs are from her social circle. So this was something special. I still feel like trying out some new stuff so I say the following.

Me: You know what? Let me be his substitute (Ive always been dreaming of saying this). If this guy doesn't make things happen, or breaks your heart or you dump him you can always come to me. I can be his super-sub and come and save you when you feel lonely.
Her: That sounds like a good idea (Now I was being more of a lover type).

She was more than keen to give me her number. And told me we should message one day or if we meet and she's sexually available, we could hang out. (Maybe I should try and see of I can meet her sometime). I left her warmly and send her a message a couple of hours ago.

Me: Thank you for a spontaneous an honest conversation. Its lovely to meet a fellow traveller. -Kristian
Her: Hey. It was nice to meet you. Wish you an awesome evening.

Two girls at the coffee house:
And then I arrived at the coffee house I was intending to go. I talked to one of the waiters (a cute brunette that was checking me out). But it is difficult to make things happen when people are at work (especially waiters). Later a cute blonde girl that smiled to me passes by. I open her (situational) and she mentions her boyfriend. I tell her I find her cute and she started smiling. A lot.

Blonde at the tram-station
So on my way to the tram- station (I was tired and wanted to get home) I spot this cute blond girl waiting. I did not make any eye contact with her and just as we were about to enter the tram I give her I "Are you single?"-opener. She couldn't quite get what I said, so I say it again giving her my compliment and asking her to sit down with me (she complied and I knew I could get a solid number here). But when I asked her for her number, she was getting off, I get off, do some deep dive and screening and qualifying (I could have flirted a bit here. This girl was shy, but I could have made some chase frame moves.).

The thing with this; I somehow don't know how to leave women with grace. I sometimes give them a hug but it seems too stiff. Sometimes they're too nervous so when I hold their hand before leaving them. I need to find this out because a good last impression is as important as the best last impression.

Back to the turkish girl


Remember the girl I mentioned earlier today? The one that was drinking with her friends? We actually met an hour ago. I sent her the following message:

Me: Cecilie, are you still at torgata?
Her: We are outside Sosialen. Sosialen or Taxi Take away.
Her:?
Her: I will go whenever you want me to. (This is a very good sign, I thought to myself).
Me: We will get more beer for the money at Crow Bar. Meet me there?
Her: OK. I am going to Crow now. I am there in about 5 minutes.
Me: Awesome. See you there.

And then I go downstairs. And wait. And wait. I call her to see what's up. She tells me she's on her way. I still wait and just as I am about to leave I suddenly spot her lurching against me. With a guy holding her hand.

Her: Hi Kristian. Don't you want to come with me to Taxi Take Away? My friend is playing there.
Me: We should at least try to get in here and take a beer first. (And who is this 45yo, big guy she is walking with? Her colleague? Or somebody she is hooking up with?)
Her: Ok, we could do that?

We try to get in. But of course, they're too drunk to come in. He tries to move her away but she stands with me.

Me: Who is he?
Her: He is just someone I met an hour ago.
Me: Okay, you're obviously too drunk to get in anywhere. And I don't want to be the third wheel.
Her: No, you're not. My friend is playing over there, she is awesome.

Then the guy comes back. Starts kissing her hand and almost moving her away from me.

Me: Okay. I will come, just let me say hello to my friends that are inside. Okay? Ill let you know when I am on my way (As this guy is pulling her away and she feels a little guilty for the whole thing. I tried to make her save face, though).
Me: Just have fun. See ya later.

And then I went home to write the rest of this post.

Things I could do better:
I need to meet girls earlier in the eveing. Who knows which guys she could be with if I am too late.
I need to leave girls more warmly and with more finesse.
Still skipping girls. Often the hottest ones.
More sexual vibe will make me more of a lover.
I am sometimes too lazy to answer messages. I need to answer them while the girls are still receptive.

Things I did awesomely:

Approaching.
Trying out new stuff.
Getting down the "Are you single?"-approach.
Screening and qualifying.
Moving forward. Making girls comply.

So thats that. I might have a date upcoming tuesday though. And I am still trying out new stuff.

 

[kristian]

I wasn't intending to approach anybody today, but somehow I always end doing it anyways. It also seems like when I am not going out and looking for girls, girls just appear out of nowhere. The IOIs I get are also pretty strong, so today, like almost every day (except when I am on a date) I talked to two girls after meeting my friend Frank (who do not pick up at all btw).

On my way back, I spot this girl that just earlier gave me IOI. I look inside a convenient store and there she is. I play with my phone just outside, waiting for her. She goes out, I still wait to approach until I pre-open and look at her eyes.

Me: Are you single?
Her: Yes, I am. (Smiling)
Me: I just saw you a little moment ago and I just had to tell you I find you really cute. My name is Kristian
Her: Oh, thank you. My name is Lara.
Me: Lara that's a nice name. There aren't many with that name. Do you have any heritage from some other place?
Her: No I am as Norwegian as I can be. My father went to India many years ago and liked that name (smile).
Me: I guess he fell in love with it. My name is sooo boring. Almost everyones name is Kristian.
Her: No, I like that name (this is a big indication that she liked me).

I thought that I could try to deep dive some. So I ask her what she was doing for the day. She says she was buying some food for her whole family. I then realize she might be a little young but the question is, how young?

Me: So you like to make food, huh?
Her: Yes I do. Thats one of my favorite things to do.
Me: Thats awesome. Food is an art. Cool that you like it. (Now I was screening and qualifying a bit).
Me: So where are you going right now?
Her: I live nearby (she points at her house).
Me: I will be going the same way. I love to walk a lot. Lets go (a little compliance).
Her: Where do you live?

And then we start talking about where I live. And where I am from (suburbian place). When we just come to the entrance to her house I ask her for her number.

Her: But I have to tell you I am only 17.
Me: That's okay. No worries (smiling and putting my phone on her hand).

She gives me her number. And I instantly ask her what she does. She tell me she goes in high school and about her music (I am also a musician so we connect a lot through that). I wish her a good day and tell her I will send her a message. I will in an hour, asking her how the food went and set up a date.

And sending messages are not that difficult anymore. The key is making them invest and tell me about themselves. Instead of going for the date instanly, the best thing is to send them a situational message asking them how XYZ was? And taking it from there. After a couple of messages back and forth (and its good to answer them then and there (not like before where I used to be lazy and wait a couple of hours making her auto-reject). I like a little back and forth before going for the date (and making things happen pretty fast).

However, I am staying humble and always trying to remind myself that I have a loooooong way to go. That keeps me grounded and the ego out of the whole equation.

Things I could've done better

Sexual tension.
Not skipping girls.

Things I did good

Texting.
Deep dive.
Good transitions.
Moving forward.

 

[kristian]

Audur (the icelandic girl I am currently dating) is coming back from Iceland next week. I will have a lot of opportunities to learn even more relationship dynamics with her. She knows that I meet girls and she knows that I have some of them coming over. She also says she loves my honesty and that she is not looking for anything serious right now. That's exactly what I need, a girl I can be with in order to restore my reserves so I can continue on my journey learning how to meet new girls.

The girl I just had over
So I had one girl over right now. Met her on the streets when I was picking up some other girls nearby (there are not as many girls out this late, but the girls I meet seem to be more into me and ready for fast escalation, I need to experiment a little more to see if that's the fact).

I saw this girl walking past me and I stopped her (lingering touch is the best way to pre-open) looked at her eyes with a big smile (after she noticing me first) and waited a couple of seconds before giving the "Are you single?"-opener. I tried this to four girls today all everyone, except one that is getting into something serious, said yes. The way I am delivering the opener is so strong that I can more easily get girls invested (I make sure my voice, gestures and timing is as good as I can give it).

The girl I brought home (without alcohol), left just now and resisted my advances to kiss. I might know the reason; I did not build enough sexual tension (a skill I have not been workin on lately). I will do the folling tommorrow though: talking to 4 - 5 girls and see if I can put as much sexual tension as I can.

So back to the girl. After deep diving a bit I ask her what she is doing on a night like this. She says she is going to the farmacy to get some medicine. I instantly see this as an opportunity to make her invest a little more (I looked at her tattoos and touched them after my delivery btw, looking at their bodys and what they are wearing an asking is a very good way to make them invest) and aske her to go with me in the other direction since I am kind of walking the same way

We talk about whats she is doing and why she likes the things she studys. I make sure to screen and qualify a lot so she knows that I want to hang out with her because I like her. We go to the pharmacy and then she asks.

She: So where do you live exactly?

Which is an invitation. She also says I should get her number in order to "hang" out. I also refused to give her my FB, since I am "oldschool". Besides, I love getting girls the old way. With texting and everything.

Me: Not far away actually. Lets walk this way, I know a cool way to get to your adress through here.

So we walk and end up in my street. I ask her if she wants to come over to "drink a cup of tea", since she couldnt drink because of her medicine.

Her: Okay, but I cant stay too long.

So she comes over. I talk about my place and my cat (my cat is the best winggirl, haha). And after ten minutes I go for the kiss. She turns away and says it too soon. I smile and act like nothing. After a little while, I again try to kiss her. She resists so I just try to talk about my approach (since the interaction was kind of ruined) to get some new reference points. I did not get anything interesting there.

Another little thing: when it is increasingly difficult to get a girl to comply if she resists. Just another new reference point I got this evening.

The one that gave me credit for being honest


Before that I saw this girl passing me by. She was very entranced on her phone and in her own world. I usually dont approach women that are that occupied but I wanted some new reference points so I approached her.

Her: Oh! You scared me (looking at me in a state of shock).
Me: I did not mean to do that, but I have to ask you. Are you single?
Her: Yes, I am. Im sorry for acting this way, I am just talking to my boss here (smiling).

Again, a girl like this would have rejected me back in the days but because I am working relentlessly on my fundamentals she actually excused herself for being afraid, haha

We talked a little bit more. Girls usually dont offer their number, the one I got home did though. But she gave me mine and thanked me for being forward and honest (I guess this opener is so good I just will continue doing it.

The one that had a boyfriend


It was here that I learned about waiting for 2 seconds after the pre-opener and the eye contact. She actualle said "give me two seconds" so she could take off her headphones. Awesome.

But she did have a boyfriend though. But was happy that I approached.

The spiritual one

This was the first approach I had in my outing. I gave her my compliment and said why. "I just love how your jacket matches your eyes".
She was kind of entering a relationship and I have a feeling that she was using me for entertainment. But I asked her for her number anyways.

Me: So give me your number and we can arrange something.
Her: Okay, but I am not the kind of person who gives out my number.
Me: Oh, I see. (flirty eyes)
Her: I dont know people and...
Me: Youre afraid of stalkers, arent you. Maybe YOU are the stalker, haha!
Her: Haha.

So she gave it to me.

So that was that. I am getting pretty good at deep dive and making girls invest. I am also getting better at moving them around and moving fast and forward. Now I need to be better at the phisycal game and upping my sexual vibe a bit more. I will have a date tommorrow btw so I will have plenty of opportunity to make it happen tommorrow before (I will be approaching a lot, and during the date). Cant wait to see how it will end.

 

[kristian]

It is sometimes difficult to see but I know that I have made vast improvements on my game lately - especially after applying a lot of the fundamentals in this article https://www.girlschase.com/content/how-approach-girl-wherever-you-are-easily.

I used to almost drive myself crazy before then, almost on the verge of considering to give up the whole thing. I am glad I found that article, though because my skills have improved a lot in a couple of weeks.

[*]AA doesn't bother me anymore. I guess most of the fear I had before was that my confidence had to do with results. I tried to change that feeling with curiosity instead. The "Are you single?"approach was also a good way to find out that my sticking point had to do with attainability and this is an area I am working a lot with.

[*]As a result of that I had three dates in one week Two of were even instant dates, and that is proof that I am getting better at this. I also had both of the instant-dates in my room after meeting them on the streets. I am still not able to lay with these girls yet, but that's the only thing to overcome before getting the results I envisioned a year ago.

[*]My text game has become better. I get more responses and I am understanding the intricacies of going from investment (from her part) tom setting up the date. Part of the improvement has to do with better text game which includes being less agressive and instead having her tell me about something relevant before setting up the date.

[*]I am also getting better at moving forward. Stating my intentions and being dominant.

However, I still need to become more sexual (like I used to be before I became frustrated with my availability issues). I will start practicing this a lot more in a week or two. After getting the above aspects handled once and for all.

I am, simultaneously also entering an open relationship/fwb thing. The Icelandic girl is amazing, she knows what my goals in life is and she gives me an opportunity to work on my relationship skills as well as my pick-up skills.

All in all; I am making improvements in every area as an attractive man. Girls seem to respond well to me and like me a lot more. I get warmed receptions and women check me out a lot more. I must not forget where I was a year ago, I am worlds better now and I will just become better as time passes by.

Can't wait!

 

[kristian]

This game, this pickup thing and all the aspects of seducing women and making a woman's life is getting fun. My love for the spiritual part of the game is the main reason I do what I do. I am getting closer to the goal I envisioned a year ago; to be able to consistently pick up and seduce a woman if I go out and put enough work in.

I already mentioned the girls I brought home the last two weeks. We did not end in bed but it showed me what is possible to do if I start applying these mindsets.

So yesterday was the very first time I started applying what I've learned doing day game. And man, its is a lot of fun. I tried the "Are you single?" approach and got very good reactions. I was also very direct and flirty and the girls I talked to digged my directness, one even gave me her number while she was waiting for her boyfriend. I was however with my friend who wanted to go to a gay bar (she is lesbian and I am sort of teaching her how to game girls). We left the place to dance and let her try the openers at the gay bar. But I will give you some of the interaction I had prior to this.

The one with the white pants

First I spot this cute blonde girl waiting at the bar. White pants. Nice ass. I give her a lingering touch on her shoulder. She turns around and waits with excitement to what I have to say.

Me: Are you single?
Her: (Smiling). Yes, I am.
Me: I saw you standing here. And I had to come over and say I find you attractive. Kristian is my name.
Her: (Smiling even more). Thank you. My name is Melissa.
Me: So what are you up to on an evening like this, Melissa?

I found out that using their name here and there does help a lot, and it's also a kind reminder of their name as well since I forget women's names.

She tells me she is with a big gang and that they are sitting on a table outside. She was also holding her drink and someone else's. The clock was 22:30 and it looked like they just arrived. So I figured out I couldn't hold on her until later that evening. I left her warmly and instead went out with my lesbian friend to chat about gaming and other stuff.

The one that told me I was good with women
Half an hour later I approach another girl. The same way, but this time I was even more physical than ever. I even kissed her cheeks as she was telling me about her where she was from. She did not back away (and this makes night game a lot of fun, actually. The darkness, the music and the alcohol make it more "allowed" to be direct and touchy. As long as the fundamentals are on point, that is.)

Her: I love the fact that youre so forward, Kristian. I really like that. People don't approach the way you do.
Me: I just find you really attractive. I just want to hold you.
Her: I know. But my friends are waiting for me inside. You seem like you're really good with women (smiling and flirting).

I just realized that game has everything to do with fundamentals and how many approaches I do. The rest is about honing the skills and learning by doing. Another thing I realized, the more attracted I am in a woman, the better the interaction. Its like they feel that I like them and mirror it back.

The one with a boyfriend


On my way out I spot this girl taking off her sweater. She was wearing a top. I start walking toward her. I touch her and give her my opener. Again, good reactions and a lot of smiles.

Her: I am kind of entering a relationship. I am actually going to meet him.

I was touching and looking at her eyes and flirting a lot. I also tell her that I could be his substitute in case he "fucks up". She tells me she loves my vibe and gives me her number.

After this, I approached a girl at the gay club. She was talkative but wasn't into me. So I ejected. Her lesbian friend wanted me to join them when they later passed me by. They wanted me to buy them a drink. I said "yeah". But I do not "buy drinks". So I spent the rest of the time helping my lesbian friend to pick up girls

I also found out that approaching girls very directly after 02:00 is not the best idea. I need better data points, though.

Things to improve


Better logistics.

Things I did well

FUNDAMENTALS
Being direct and sexual vibe.
Intentions.
Moving forward.
Leading interactions.
Staying unfazed to "tests"
Having fun.

PS. The more I approach, the hornier I get making me exude sexual vibe like crazy. As I was writing this post, I spot an amazing looking girl passing me by out side Starbucks. I approach her and give her my opener. She hooks intantly (even after saying she wasnt single). It is all about intentions and being up front about them. And above all, fundamentals.

 

[foggy]

Great job man! Keep up the approaching.

 

[kristian]

So I haven't written for some weeks now. Too much work and a lot of hanging out with Audur (Icelandic girl) and a couple of my female friends. Ive been mostly seeing the value of having interactions with women in order to speed up my sexual tension (which has been good to train to not only become friendzoned). Both working on sexual tension in conjunction with deep dive is good later in the interaction. But I also need to be more playful and banter a lot more. And that's totally different from what I've been getting better at lately.

Being flirty, playfulness and banter are the next things I need to improve on. I also see that one in ten approaches gets good reaction, numbers and so on (mostly because I am approaching girls randomly, without getting invitations because they're mostly street approaches). I am good in a group setting and get IOIs from social circle game. I just need to do some more nightgame (Ive had some good interaction doing the "Are you single?"-approach at nighttime) since girls seem to love my directness.

So almost every day I've been approaching and I've come across these patterns:

[*]The more she likes me, the easier it gets.
[*]Girls that I am really attracted to seem to like me more.
[*]When I go to make a girls day instead of looking for results my results tend to get better. Oddly.
[*]How good my approaches are, depends on how I feel inside. I've been there a couple of times already. And I am becoming increasingly closer to that feeling.
[*]Its fun to play with sexual vibe. Now it's time to get some more approaches and start applying being playful.
[*]And lastly, its all about exuding the x-factor which has everything to do with how I feel inside.

 

[Grand Pooba]

Hey Kristian!

[*]My text game has become better. I get more responses and I am understanding the intricacies of going from investment (from her part) tom setting up the date. Part of the improvement has to do with better text game which includes being less agressive and instead having her tell me about something relevant before setting up the date.

I'd like to know more about this! Sounds really interesting, think you can break it down?

I am, simultaneously also entering an open relationship/fwb thing. The Icelandic girl is amazing, she knows what my goals in life is and she gives me an opportunity to work on my relationship skills as well as my pick-up skills.

This is really great to have. It's truly important to have both the pick up side as well as the relationship side figured out to high level. And they can sometimes be very different.

I ask her if she wants to come over to "drink a cup of tea", since she couldnt drink because of her medicine.

Her: Okay, but I cant stay too long.


So she comes over. I talk about my place and my cat (my cat is the best winggirl, haha). And after ten minutes I go for the kiss. She turns away and says it too soon. I smile and act like nothing. After a little while, I again try to kiss her. She resists so I just try to talk about my approach (since the interaction was kind of ruined) to get some new reference points. I did not get anything interesting there.

Good to get reference points at the end of a failed attempt. I've found that usually girls give true to form, honest feedback and it automatically boosts my confidence even if nothing happened.

One thing to note: there are times where it's good to kiss a girl really quickly when she enters your house, and there are times when it's better to wait. It kind of depends on where she's at - it's something you have to develop a sense and feel for - how relaxed she is with you, how comfortable she is with you, and how horny she is.

If she's not ready yet - nervous, or not relaxed, or a bit hesitant - don't kiss her immediately. She's already at your place so it's a matter of time sometimes, but you can hang back and build it up. In these situations I usually go for the kiss when she sinks into the couch and matches my body language, and there's a sudden pause where it feels like I should do something.

I saw this girl walking past me and I stopped her (lingering touch is the best way to pre-open) looked at her eyes with a big smile (after she noticing me first) and waited a couple of seconds before giving the "Are you single?"-opener.

I like this!

 

[PrettyDecent]

Hey Kristian,

Keep up the good work man

If you've become good at the rest, banter is a key ingredient to reach your next level in pickup. Switching between good banter/light connecting and deep diving is pretty much the root of mastery in a conversation.

I think you'll notice the improvement in that will lead to leaps and bounds in your game

Nick

 

[kristian]

I'd like to know more about this! Sounds really interesting, think you can break it down?

Of course I can: When I am talking to a girl I usually ask what their plans are for the day. This gives some info, and makes it easier to make an instant date happen (if I have some spare time). I've had three instant dates this way.

However, if the girl says she has plans, I ask her what they are. Often I can use this information when we are texting.

Me: A pleasure meeting a fellow traveler. How did the dance classes/visit to family/meeting at work go?

This makes them invest more in the interaction and makes me connect a bit more emotionally. After a couple of messages back and forth I go for setting up a meeting. I haven't been tracking the success rates yet, but I feel like the approach to conversion-rate goes up (maybe 15 % or something). This makes the interaction more natural as well, unlike before when my first message was about trying to set up a date (which works if the girl is the direct type).

PrettyDecentIf you've become good at the rest, banter is a key ingredient to reach your next level in pickup. Switching between good banter/light connecting and deep diving is pretty much the root of mastery in a conversation.

I wasn't aware of this until you pointed it out in an earlier post and after reading about mistakes guys make. I think I have been putting too much emphasis on getting results rather than reactions.

 

[kristian]

I have been going out and approaching girls lately, but only two or three at a time. I haven't had any results or numbers so far because my approaches are not targeted. I usually find the most interesting or sexy woman I see and approach directly.

I also had an interesting talk with my girl last Saturday. She only had two sex partners before me (her exes) and do not party or club at all. But when she met me she was a little unsure if she could trust me 100% before going to bed.

Her: There are many dangers being a woman in dating. Firstly, you don't know if the guy is trustworthy enough. You want to feel safe, knowing that he won't hurt you or anything in bed. But even if he won't, you are also afraid that he'll just leave you after sex. I wouldn't feel desired if someone just kicked me out right after sex. And even if he is trustworthy and take care of you, you're still afraid of pregnancy and std's. And lastly, we have our reputations to think about. For guys its just sex. For girls the consequence's can be severe.

That's why she felt weird after having sex with me on our second date, she says. On one hand, she wanted me then and there. But not matter how hard she screened, a little part of her wasn't unsure if I could give her a good time and take care of her emotions. I was the first guy she did not have a relationship with before sex, so she was quite surprised when it happened.

Her: That's why I don't see myself going to a club and bringing someone home. How do you get to know a guy enough in an hour? It might be that club-girls are good at finding the right men. But then you have the alcohol in your blood, and your judgement gets impaired.

I find this information quite interesting. Cos I feel this resonates a lot to what other girls have told me before. But I never had it explained that eloquently. I guess this is the reason we learn screening and qualifying, rapport and humor. Sexual tension is a good ingredient in seductions, but it's not enough by itself.

But having a girlfriend is also making me a little lazy on the approach side. So much so, that a little anxiety is creeping back. I was thinking about this yesterday and realized it has a lot to do with my thought at that moment. Beliefs like "I need to make this work" or "why bother? I won't get a date anyway" are always in my mind. I read a couple of articles last night and realized that I need to build some excitement in my approaches. Flirting, teasing, and chase frames are good ways of doing this, so I need to practice a lot more.

Another thing I am seeing is that I need to approach a lot more. So this week I made myself a promise to talk to ten girls every day. I'll see what happens and if that can change my attitude.

 

[kristian]

The thing about practicing banter, chase frame and humour is that I forget sexual tension. So I have to not forget that part as I am trying to make my interactions more humorous, not the easiest thing to do when a girl is unsure of me. The more she likes me, the easier it gets, but it has been a while since I met a girl that really digs me. I guess I have to continue meeting new women and upping my approaches.

I met my best friends ex-girlfriend today. We met at the streets and had a good conversation. I asked her if we could take a coffee and she countered it all by saying she wanted a beer. We drank and reminisced about old times (she is a friend from high-school). I figured out I could try some banter since we were talking about heavy stuff. But I can see that the heavier it gets, the more difficult it is to mix up some humor. The solution came when we decided to walk out and she started making fun about how she lives. It suddenly made the connection a lot stronger, as PrettyDecent pointed out when explaining to me why laughter and playfulness are important. I guess it also depends on the girl and how willing she is to leave the heaviness in the interaction. I can also see why having female friends are so vital. I can start to rehearse on all this a lot more hanging out with my female friends.

But I can't just stop approaching new women. AA has been a little present lately. I finally realized why: I am starting to attach my own identity so much to women that every approach seems like a matter of life and death. Not a healthy mindset to be in. Especially when girls can see my neediness. I approached a girl this way today and when she said yes to my initial approach, but gave me an objection ("I am not from here"). So instead of keeping the interaction going (like asking her where she is from and starting a conversation) I just ejected. I guess I don't feel that confidence I had a couple of weeks ago.

And then a new idea appeared (not new at all, but I always seem to forget it): What if I just walk over to the next girl and give her a compliment and leave it at that? I see this amazing looking girl in a red dress. Walk up to her and give her a genuine compliment. I see that I make her day. I feel a lot better.

So from now on I will just start to concentrate on two things:

*Overcoming approach anxiety (mostly by just giving compliments and warming up before I start approaching for real).
*Humor in my conversations as well as retaining my tension building-skills.

 

[kristian]

I was feeling quite good today. Only being in the moment. I love those days when everything just seems to click and whatever I say just seem to work.

I had an amazing date with my girl (Icelandic) it lasted three dates, we made a lot of love and had a great conversation about past relationships. I also spent some time reminding her what I am about and that I can't give her exclusivity at this stage in my life. She understands what I say and tells me she loves me for being honest (unlike the guys she dated before). But she made a little drama today after having one serious conversation. She actually left the building not wanting to listen to me when I told her to stay. So I had to hold a very strong frame texting her back.

Her: I feel so stupid. I wish I could take it back (for making drama).
Me: No worries. Come back.
Her: Your silence said a lot.
Me: What silence? (I kept my calm when she tried to make drama).
Her: Yours.
Me: I whas thinking. It did have nothing to do with you.
Her: I did not want to tell you my issue ( Because I forced her to tell me what was wrong).
Me: You did not need to hide. I am not angry or upset for telling me that (she told me she wasnt sure I could take care of her heart, which is a bullshit excuse for causing drama).
Her: It was just a stupid feeling that I still dont know what means. I wish I did not say it.
Me: You should not judge your feelings. I dont judge anyone. I am glad your told me the truth. So come back.
Her: I have a feeling you wanted to be alone.
Me: Come back.

And then she did not answer at all. I was planning to go out and pick up some girls anyways, but I wanted to sort this thing out.

Me: I need answer. Are you coming back or not?

Her: I am ringing the bell.

And then she came back. I know Chase wrote somewhere that you dont reward drama with sex. But, what the heck. I teased her a lot, and told her she woulndt get any if she kept making drama. She went crazy. And we made love.

Later I told her that I dont have any room for such behaviour in my life. That if she cant handle this, she is free to leave. She listened very hard. And agreed. I followed her to the buss. Happier than ever. A fun adventure.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After this I went out to talk to some girls. (Its a lot of fun).

I spotted this girl sitting on the table with a couple of my friends. I walk up to her.

Me: I think I know your mother (she dated my brother whos 13 years older than me).
Her: (With a bitchy tone). No, you dont know her.
Me: (Did not react to her bitchyness). She dated my brother Manuel 15 years ago. Her name is Ashka, arent you Teresa?
Her: Wow! How did you know my mother (very exited).

The fact that I did not reacted at her bitchyness and instead just continued talking to her made her open herself a lot more. She was actually chasing me. I did not find her that attractive (and she is kind of a relative), but saw how holding my frame made her attracted to me.

Later I went to another bar. I tried to just have good fundamentals and listen to the music (live band). I could see how girls where checking me out. It was a little crazy. I made some conversation but did not get anywhere (due to social pressure). I did however have a good night.

Things I could do better:

Approach more.
Be even more direct.

Things I did well
Did not react to shittests. I saw girls as silly and cute.
Very good body language and overall fundamentals.
Flirting.

 

[kristian]

I re-read the whole article series How to Pick Up Girls: The Success Factor by Ricardus Domino yesterday. It made an impact on me and as a result, I will just put most of my getting better with women-effort solely on getting and exuding the x-factor.

So today I woke up feeling great even considering that I only slept less than six hours. I cleaned up my room, bought some clothes and started re-thinking about the plans for the future. I really like the girl I am seeing ATM, she is nice, cook good food for me, is always down for sex (she is often the one that initiates it) and takes good care of me. We have had our discussions and some arguments, but all in all, I am very happy to be with her.

But as I read the article I also knew deep down that my main objective is learn to pick up skills. I have been a little lazy for almost a month or so (compared to august). I see that I need to start taking my approaches more seriously from now on. My main goal today was to put on the best clothes I had, be in the moment and just work on my fundamentals. Man, I got many approach invitations and girls were showing interest in me. This often happens so fast (like I pass a couple of girls by and they start smiling at me and looking down immediately) I start to think "wow, they like me", but when I realize this I already passed them by (I feel like these happens almost without warning), it feels a little awkward to approach them then. But I got 8 clear invitations and it had to do with the following:

1. I am making shure I have the best fundamentals.
2. I am noticing girls signs of interest.

So what I really need to do from now on is just approach women that show me these signs. Often they are the ones I find the most attractive, and that's fun.

I also had some approaches yesterday. I realized that talking to women at nighttime is more fun (at least because it is something I have not so much experience with). I do not remember every conversation 100%, but I saw the following patterns:

When I talk to women first and get good reactions a snowball effect starts other girls notice me. I got approached by some women I know at a local bar, making it easier for their friends to talk to me. I just started commenting a girls looks (Said her style reminded me of John Lennon) she took it well and we started talking about music. I send her a message todag, but she did not respond.

So I come to realize that I need to take my approach invitations a lot more seriously. I will start talking to girls that look at me and see what happens

Things I could do better:

*Approaching after invitations, no more girls I randomly stop. I need to find the ones that like me (which is getting easier now).
*Be more consistent on my fundamentals.
*Practice more being playful and humorous.
*Not forgetting sexual tension.

Thing I did well

*Fundamentals.
*Finding interested girls.

 

[kristian]

So I've been busy dating and talking to women lately. I am experiencing a greater flow in life than ever making interactions with women more natural. I am also better at targeting the ones that already show signs of interest (which happens a handful of times each day). I come to realize that talking to these girls and moving things forward has a lot to do with logistics, meaning that we need a little time to connect. IOI-girls so far has been either busy (with other people) or on their way to work. I need more experience taking those more open shots in order to see how I can move things forward.

However, the receptions I get from these girls (when I take the chances) are much warmer. Doing street cold approaches is a good way to rehearse my game, but I also know that its either hit or miss with these girls and it still affects my psyche when I get cold receptions or it doesn't go my way.

A good way of combating this is to give women compliments just for the sake of it. I am doing this a lot more and it puts me in a good mood. When I see a girl "I just have to get" I then have the confidence and social charisma to create good vibes.

My "weakness" is still being playful and toning a down tension with humor. I am working on this and I feel like this has been one of the missing parts I need to get down.

And now to the lay report. This came as a total surprise to me since I was not looking to flirt or meet anyone last Saturday. I was wearing comfortable clothes:

*Polyester hood sweater underneath my black jacket. I had a blue, wool sweater next to my skin (October evenings are cold in Norway).
*Blue jeans and my favorite Adidas leather boots (brown).

The girl:
*A black dress. Tight to her body, accentuating her slim figure.
*Brown hair, green eyes. Tall 180 cm and wearing boots with heels making her at least 5 cm taller.
*43-year-old divorcee.

I was invited to my friends 50-th birthday. Which consisted of dinner and a concert (a lot of the guests are musicians, some full time and other -like me - doing it on their spare time). People from almost all ages attended, but most of the guests were in their 40s. As I arrive the party, I realize that I came a little later than the other guests. I try to go to my table unnoticed and sit at the nearest free seat. I realize that the guest (43-yo) sitting next to me was a cutie. I try not to check her out as much and instead listen to all the speeches before the dinner. We start eating and she starts a conversation with me.

Me: I just sat over at this place. No one sits here, right?
Her: No. You're more than welcome. (Extends her hand). Gudrun is my name.
Me: That's an interesting name, they aren't many with that here.
Her: No, people never seem to get it, though. Whats your name?
Me: haha, mine is not that uncommon here. Kristian.

Starts flirting and likes my chase frame
At this time I wasn't sure if she was flirting with me or just being nice. I had a couple of older women before and love them for their intellect and for being more sexually adventurous. Many of them are however either married or have a lot of reservations when it comes to flirting with younger guys. But I was in this for the fun and to see what could happen (which I just realized is the best mindset to have anyways).

Her: So Kristian. What is your ethnicity?
Me: I am born here. But my parents immigrated from a small country in latin-America. So I guess it makes me latino. (Smiling and being mysterious).
Her: OH. I just love latin-America. Where are they from?
Me: Honduras.
Her: I like that. I had a trip to Guatemala many years ago. It was intense and a very educational experience.
Me: So you mean you met a Roberto, Juan or Carlos? (Playfully, I also notice her friend starts laughing at my remark).
Her: None of that. I was studying over there.
Me: What a shame. I heard souvenirs from those countries are the best. Some women even marry these guys.
Her: I guess you arent that different?
Me: Let us say I got the same genes (wink).

We start talking about her trips to different countries and some of the jobs she had through the years. She asks me a couple of questions about what I do and so on. I tell her, but still not too much. But it wasn't that easy since it turns out she is a very good conversationalist.

Me: Both you and I want to know a lot of each other? I like that you are interested in knowing me. It's refreshing in a world where everyone is waiting for their turn to talk.
Her: (Smiling). I used to work as an Au-par in the US in the 90s, you remind me of the kid I was taking care of. He was flirty, had the almost the same eyes as you but he was blonde.
Me: I guess he had a good taste from very early on (light touch).
Her: (laughs) you're such a flirt, Kristian!

Sexual tension can be too high
I move her out to take some fresh air. She does not follow at first so I go by myself and let her talk to her friend (she was still liking it, but also reserved when I tried to move forward). She eventually follows and I see this as an opportunity to escalate further. I build up tension and keep on building and then a still moment between us. I look at her eyes and even triangulate, only for her to break the tension.

Her: Let's get in (laughing nervously and walking to the door).

Another lesson about tension: it is better if you break it than her doing it. Now she was leading the dance a little more.

As we get inside another concert starts. And she ignores me when it ends (almost flipped out, but I was going for sprezzatura here). I started conversations with other people. Not trying to look her way. I even thought I lost her so I sat at a couch nearby minding my own business.

Her: There you are. You big flirt.
Me: Nice to see you again (acting surprised)
Her: So do you always flirt with girls this way?
Me: Only the ones I find cute.
Her: You know that I am 13 years older than you.
Me: And so? I really find you cute. Who cares about age? (lightly touching her hand).

She the squeezes my hand back. I could feel that we had a sexual connection. She starts mingling with the other guests again and wile I was eating, even more, food (buffet). I was very tired and a part of me was screaming to get home, but now that I was flirting heavy with this woman I just have to hang in there just "to find out" what could happen.

Logistics and last minute resistance
Then the host wants me on stage to sing a ballad I composed last year. I usually lose girls after singing. Don't know why, but it feels like I get too unattainable after performing (I've been singing for 22 years now). I usually don't make a big deal out of my singing, but people (especially girls) make it more than it is. So singing is something I don't show until the girl knows me very well. But this is another topic I want to explore further in another post.

After singing my song I get off. And this woman starts looking my way a lot. I try to ignore her and not look too eager. I send her a text.

Me:So would you like to walk after the party. We can go downtown together (sincer her train was in the city centre).
Her: Yes, we could do that

The bar starts to close and I move out, waiting for her to follow me. As I look through the windows from the outside I can see her slowly putting on her jackets. She comes outside and starts talking to a dude that had a conversation with me. I tried to end it gracefully and we started walking with her and her friend.

One little note about friends of girls that I am about to seduce. Chase pointed out in an article that when they see some connection they usually let us be alone. In this case, it was very clear from early on, even after getting interrupted a couple of times throughout the whole interaction.

Her: so where are we going?
Me: Let's just walk and see where we end. (but I knew we were going to my house)
Her: Just strolling down the streets, huh? I like that.

She starts playing with my height (170cm) and still giving me some heat (playfully) for my youth. I say "hey it's all about new adventures". She starts smiling and again squeezes my hand. We start going to my street and I ask her if she wants to see my cat (the best line ever).

Her: I guess I can.
Me: and some tea, of course.

I lead her to the bedroom and start kissing her. She gives me resistance. And then I remember reading a post in this forum about getting naked yourself before taking her clothes off. I do this, but instead of doing it myself I ask her to do it for me while touching my whole body at the same time. It worked and we made love the whole night. 6 times or so.

Final thoughts
The morning after I follow her to the train station. And spend some time asking about her impression of me. She tells me she was apprehensive about going to bed with me, but changed her mind when I said "who cares about age?". She tells me she hasn't had any (sex) for more than a year and saw this as an opportinity to "try something new" (a guy younger and smaller). She also loved my intellect and the fact that I was being so forward with her.

And another thing, noone saw us leaving the place (other than her friend). Keeping it down low is key.

I also saw other girls looking my way when I was at the concert. I mostly ignored these signs other than using them as proof of pre-selection (mingling a bit, but not moving them along). I have made some mistakes in this department. Flirting with women and enjoying the attention can make some girls auto-reject (I know I would do the same if a woman I was flirting with, suddenly starts doing the same with other guys).

Things I could do better:

Sometimes sexual tension gets too high. I need to try using humor from time to time.
Handling interruptions could be smoother.
Better control of my own emotions (this is not a big issue in cold approach pick-up), but moreso in the latter stages of seduction.

Things I am getting good at
Leading.
Being able to recognize when I am out of control (emotionally).
Discretion in seduction is key (an eye opener).
Handling objections.
Handling last minute resistance.
Taking care of her emotions.

 

[kristian]

The thing is, asking a girl out. And now I am talking about the ones I kind of like better than the cold approach-ones are the scariest to move things forward with. I should have known this a long time ago. It's just that I make things bigger than they are, especially if there's a girl I've known for a little longer (social circle).

Right now I am waiting for replies from two women from very extended circles and the nervousness it brings me is a lot bigger than expected. I guess this is a reason I need concentrate a lot more on cold approach.

And speaking of cold approach, if there's one thing I've been doing a lot lately it's this. It seems like I have some sprints in between longer periods of almost no approaches, I'll go mad for some weeks, leveling up my game before having some a week or two doing almost nothing. I have a girlfriend as well, and I spend a lot of my rest days with her. And this is very satisfying.

All the approaches are getting me to understand certain aspects;

*It is when I go for the kind of girls I like (blonde girls with a nice ass) that I have the best days. I also approach more and these girls are often the ones who gives me approach invitations.

*Warming up, by giving compliments puts me in the state a lot quicker.

*It's better to approach more than 4 girls. The first three are warmups, mostly and things don't get going until my fifth or sixth approach.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So with that in mind, let tell you about some of the girls I've been talking to the last week.

1. I spot a cute girl and deliver her a compliment: "You look unlikely beautiful". She smiles a lot and says thanks, I feel great.

2. Then I see a blonde girl with the right body type. I ask her if she is single only for her to ignore me completely. It's alright, the day is still young. I have a lot of new shots to take.

3. I spot this blonde woman in her mid-30s. Introduce myself and start using a situational topic as well as giving her a compliment. She smiles warmly but excuses herself telling me she is working and has to prepare for a lecture at a school. I should've just ended the conversation after the opener and then just ask for the number.

4. In my way out from the coffee shop with the lecture girl, I spot another 30 years old. I see her on her way out of the car and later spot her walking behind me. I turn around and just say "Hi". Instant attraction (smiles and start answering my questions).
She is on her way to a class and doesn't have time for more talk (Yoga teacher). I ask her for some info and I find her school online. I send her a message only to realize I did not build any intrigue or connection (since we only had 2-minutes conversation).

The cute spiritual one with boyfriend


5. And then I spot this really cute young girl (and this is one of the reasons the 4 other approaches were warmups). She was wearing thick glasses, had a spiritual look I liked a lot. I introduce myself:

Me: I just had to introduce myself. I saw you over there (pointing at the place) and think you're really cute. Kristian is my name. (extending my hand and holding her hand for 10 seconds, which is a new record).
Her: My name is Margrethe.
Me: So what happened to your hand? (I just love situational themes to get to the hook point).
Her: I was trying to make some food and cut myself (smiling).
Me: That's a shame. I have also some weird stuff happening with my hands (showing my extended fingers, I have very bendy hands).
Her: Wow.
Me: I guess I am not made right (smiling and being flirty).

And then we start talking about genes and hands. As we go inside the bus.

Note: Whenever I reach the hook point, I usually forget everyone else or what's happening between us. It's like we make our own bubble, which is amazing.

But then we got interrupted by an old friend of mine. These are kind of hard to deal with. I introduced them to each other and talked to her for a couple of minutes. My old friend gets off the bus.

Me: That was someone I haven't seen or many years. It's nice to see how she is able to combine life as a mother and career woman. (Kindly explaining that she is no one I am flirting with).

We continue talking a bit more. She tells me she is on her way to her boyfriend.

Me: That's a shame. Cuz I really find you beautiful and cute.
Her: I know. I just had to say it so you know it.
Me: That's okay. We can still meet and talk about genes and babies that come out wrong if he fucks up.
Her: (Laughing) That's a good idea.

And as we get off the bus (I was looking to see if I could flirt a bit more) I again get interrupted by a friend looking for his girlfriend (what's up with interruptions these days?). She continues walking and I lose her (he apologizes for cockblocking me later, though).

I then run some errands. And make myself ready for a book launch. And many new opportunities to meet new girls.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Night game approaches:
I always scan for girls as I am outside. (But try to do it in a discreet way).

1. I sit beside a blonde, very tall girl. Ask her is the seat is occupied, she says no and I reach the hook point instantly. However, I am not interested at all (not my type). But she tries to gain my interest I warmly leave the conversation and continue talking to my friends.

We later go to a Japanese restaurant/pub and realize that many girls are sending me approach invitations. I go to the bathroom and approach this "blonde bombshell".
Me: You look like a Geisha.
Her: Pardon me? I do not speak Norwegian.
Me: (Repeating what I said but in English).

We reach the hook point. She is smiling and interested in knowing me better. But then she has to go to the bathroom. (Damn, doing night game has a lot of moving parts).

3. I see a girl I talked to a bit at my local bookstore. I approach her and we talk a lot about her necklace and work. (I knew she had a boyfriend, but still, I wanted to warm up and have fun).

So that is one of the days when I approach a lot. 8 girls do not seem as much, but I feel like this is what I feel is comfortable enough any given day. My goal is to make it to 15 -20 consistently (in order to reach 80 -100 girls a week). 40 a week is not bad, though.

Things I could do better:

Reading for signs. Does she have time for a longer talk or do I just have to go for a 1-minute number close?
Handling interruptions better.

Things I did well:

Approaching, even after getting rejections or girls that aren't interested.
Leading conversations and being physical.
Mixing up playfulness and a little sexual tension (need to mix it up a bit more though).

Note: Seems like playfulness has been the missing part of my approaches. I just need to retain having my sexual vibe as well.

 

[kristian]

Again, I have been mixing night game in my pick up routine. I mostly do extended social circle-parties, events, and some occasional bar approaches. I had several night game approaches last night, and this is what I experienced.

1. The first one was pretty straight forward. I could see she was looking my way. I approach. Asking her if she is attending at the event (about polyamory). It turns out she is going somewhere else. She was being nice but this lead was not promising (looking at the logistics). I warmly excuse myself. The evening is still young.

The French-looking girl
And then I spot this cute girl wearing a sign with the words "crew". I approached her indirectly.

Me: Hi, where is the polyamorous event?
Her: its downstairs (I could listen she had an accent).
Me: Are you french? (I just love to assume things, it gets conversation flowing a lot better).
Her: No, I am half Greek and Turkish (smiling and being interested).
Me: You look french, though.
Her: Thank you, but no. I am not French (smiling).
Me: Turkish and Greek, huh? Don't they hate each other? (playfully).
Her: Supposedly they do, but my parents seemed to like each other.
Me: I guess hate is love and lust in disguise (sexual tension and light touch).
Her: Yes. I guess it is. So are you French? (Hook point).
Me: No. I am too brown for that. I am latino, though.

She starts asking and investing a lot in the conversation. But she is also a part of the crew, so I needed to have that in mind. We get interrupted and I warmly excuse myself before the event starts (hoping to talk to her again).

A couple of more girls
I sit down and spot this cutie. I give her a compliment. She hooks instantly and sits beside me making the conversation very easy. (Wow, these young girls seem really into me, especially when I am attending at events). I introduce her to my friend (after finding out she has a boyfriend and being monogamous) and spot Kjærsti, a girl I've been dying to see for a long time now.

We hug each other. Have our moments and flirt a lot. She tells me her relationship with her bf is open and that she can meet guys. I say that e should do something soon. She agrees and makes sure I still got her number.

Cool.

Note: There's something new happening here. Don't know how to explain it but there is some kind of energy I am sending out that girls seem to catch very easy (making them hook more consistently when I approach).

I am also getting good at spotting other men with that same "vibe". It is like we recognize each other, nod our heads and continue talking to girls. Not in a competing way, its more like "cool, another awesome guy".

But yeah, girls are attracted to me like never before. Its almost addictive to go out,

And the best is that if I do not approach or go out any given day, it's okay. It doesn't matter so much if I get a lot of attention or not.

Things I could do better:
Handling logistics.
More touch and banter.
Mixing sexual vibe

Things I did well:
Handling interruptions
Approaching.
Playfulness.
Flirting.
Looking for signs of interests and taking shots.

 

[kristian]

It's been a while since my last post. Life has just learned me a lot of lessons lately and the exhaustions from all the experiences and aha-moments makes me just want to relax as much as possible when I am finally by myself. I know I need to write down interactions and will be more diligent a doing so.

So what have I learned since last time?

In texting, my only goal is to set up dates then and there. I usually get replies a couple of hours or even a day after my initial text. So when I get these my response rates and date rates get a lot higher if I respond the moment they reply.

Approaching is all about how I feel on the inside when I open. I've tested and retested this a lot lately and feeling good makes girls hook like crazy. Then I can start setting up dates without getting objections.

And this makes me respond better to tests. I find them amusing. I see them as signs of interests.

Feeling good it's also good for my confidence, even when I get blown off. I am usually gladder when this happens because I do want to find the girls that are into me.

All these are directly tied to improved fundamentals. I get more signs of interest an approach invitations than I could ever imagine. I know it has a lot to do with clothing, improvement in voice etc but even on days I do not take fundamentals into consideration, girls still find me cute.

As a direct result of this, I now screen girls a lot harder, if she doesn't invest or make it easy to move things forward I just next. There so many women out there that losing one or two doesn't matter.

This makes it also easier to experiment with crazy stuff (like approaching on a mixed set or seeing how far I can push it when I hard push) its more about developing skill than any specific girl (I guess I am getting to an intermediate level).

I also feel so much better about myself.

But there are also some improvements I need to make:

Moving forward with girls that are interested then and there instead of setting up dates (which they more easily flake on once the emotions cool off).
Being less lazy, approaching more or looking for more approach invitations.
I am still letting some of the hottest women go.
I am still not getting the results I want (one new lay per month). I know it's closely tied to lack of night game and still presenting myself as a boyfriend.
And lastly I need to know how to balance sexuality, humor and deep dive.

 

[kristian]

I can clearly see some patterns in my interactions with women lately. Many aspects, such as chase dynamics are very related to how I feel at the moment I interact with women. The more present I am, the better I become at knowing what to say and how to say it. It is also much easier to find put which women are interested or not.

So these are the patterns Ive seen:

[*]Try always to move forward when youre feeling calm and assertive. The moment you lose focus is the moment you start acting from fear.

[*]Acting from fear is bad for your interactions. Girls can sense it, and start moving away. Try instead to calm yourself down (usually by breathing) before resuming with the conversation.

[*]The point here is that I still want the outcome to happen, but I am not dependent on it. This is a difficult balance to play with, but an interesting aspect to play more with.

Another pattern Ive been playing with is what I call emotional contagion. It is mostly about approaching women I really find attractive, or approaching the ones that send me invitations. I prefer the former than the latter, as I feel that attraction is something more mutual then.

I have also been playing a lot with sexual tension and can see that having female friends are good for that. I often only need to start touching and giving some innuendos here and there. Along with chase frames, sexual tension is perfect to be seen as a potential lover.

Me: So thats why you have those dark feature. Ive been told that French people are very passionate.
Her: I guess thats true.
Me: Id better be careful then (wink)
Her: Haha.
Me: But you also told me you come from a family of farmers. I guess those french ancestors went crazy when they saw those blonde women carrying all that ammount of lumber up and down the hills.
She starts looking at me and triangulating

Another girl. After flirting a lot and touching her clothes.

Me: You are flirting to heavy with me. I told myself I wouldnt drink to much tonight as I get easily seduced
Her: No you are flriting with me.
Me: You are the one touching me.
Her: Because you started touching me first. (pouring more wine in my glass)
I put her hand over my shoulders. Start touching her waist.
Me: I love your curves.
(she then starts touching my breasts)
Her: So whats up with the girl I met at your party last weekend? Are you together?
Me: So girls and guys cant be friends?
Her: You are such a player (smiling)

Nothing did happen, of course. The thing with social circle game is that other guys tend to get jelaous and cockblock. On another note; competition is not as fierce anymore.

Things I need to improve:

Leading.
Combining sexual tension and humor.
Dealing with interruptions.

Things I am improving on

Chase frame.
Deep conversations.

Note: i really need to start approaching a lot more. Specially the ones that send me IOIs.