- Joined
- Feb 5, 2017
- Messages
- 896
So I met this girl a month ago and persisted over text so we had a date today. She’s from Russia but moved here 8 years ago.
We met at a landmark and hugged and then walked towards my usual bar. We were talking a little bit, and while it was a little stilted, it seemed like we were having fun. I asked about her studying finance and how she got into that, along with when she moved her from Russia.
We get to the bar and grab seats by the bar (not my favorite seats). The music is louder than I was expecting, and it was a little hard to hear. I'm touching her a decent amount, and she seems fine with it. I'm also cracking jokes to which she laughs. One issue is that I am dominating the conversation, so I try bringing it back around to her. We get to talking about dating, and I ask her what her type is, aside from tall, dark, and charming (to which she laughs). She tells me that that's basically it, but mentions that sometimes someone completely different can end up as a person's type. She then mentions a previous boyfriend who was very different from what she liked, but she ended up falling for him. She mentions that this city is hard to find relationships and that it's a negative. She continues by saying that all her friends have a hard time finding boyfriends in the city. I try to frame this as a positive by saying I enjoy being single, and it's an exciting adventure. I've also qualified her as being adventurous. I mention qualities I like are adventurous, spontaneous, sense of humor.
I seed the pull. We talk about some travels, and she asks if I've been to Arizona. I tell her I've been to Phoenix. She guesses I went there for, "something class, because you look like a classy guy", to which I laugh and say "sometimes I am". In retrospect I should have gone quiet and made it more sexual then said the line.
At one point, I'm making a point and I touch her between her shoulder and her chest, and she has a really funny look on her face, which I move past, but I think she was uncomfortable, so I step back touch a little bit. We talk about some classes we've taken, and I mention the ones I've taken, and am in a speech and voice class. I tell her to give me her hands and have her feel my chest as I describe the movement of my lungs and ribs.
At some point a live band starts playing and it becomes really loud. Throughout the date we're both asking the other to repeat things, and the live music makes it harder. One benefit of this is that we are leaning into each other a lot in order to hear, so there's a lot of incidental touch, with her initiating a lot of it.
I suggest we finish our drinks and head somewhere else, she agrees.
We walk out of the bar and talk some more about other classes we're interested in. She mentions she's done aerial gymnastics, pole dancing, among other things. I feel like we're on a high point, so I suggest midway that we should mix some drinks ourselves, to which she questions by asking where. I tell her my place, and she's just like, "no". I laugh it off, but there's an uncomfortable feeling in the air. We go to the original bar, and she says it's too hot there, so I say I know a place nearby where we can play some games. We walk over, and are talking, and reach the place. We go to order drinks, and I realize that I left my credit card at the other bar, and forgot to get it, so I ask her to pay for the drinks. The vibe completely falls away here, and she switches from being about to order wine to ordering shots. She takes the shot, then goes "I have to go" and says it was nice meeting me.
I think she thought I was using her for free drinks, or that I was cheap, when in reality I legitimately forgot my card.
Looking back, this seems like a girl who I should not have tried to pull on date 1. I had a feeling internally that she wasn't ready, so I should have gone to a second place and then ended with a good kiss.
I'm still going to focus on trying to pull after every date, but this was a girl who for best results I should not have. I think being more sexual, by speaking slower, louder, and with more sexual tonality would have helped.
We met at a landmark and hugged and then walked towards my usual bar. We were talking a little bit, and while it was a little stilted, it seemed like we were having fun. I asked about her studying finance and how she got into that, along with when she moved her from Russia.
We get to the bar and grab seats by the bar (not my favorite seats). The music is louder than I was expecting, and it was a little hard to hear. I'm touching her a decent amount, and she seems fine with it. I'm also cracking jokes to which she laughs. One issue is that I am dominating the conversation, so I try bringing it back around to her. We get to talking about dating, and I ask her what her type is, aside from tall, dark, and charming (to which she laughs). She tells me that that's basically it, but mentions that sometimes someone completely different can end up as a person's type. She then mentions a previous boyfriend who was very different from what she liked, but she ended up falling for him. She mentions that this city is hard to find relationships and that it's a negative. She continues by saying that all her friends have a hard time finding boyfriends in the city. I try to frame this as a positive by saying I enjoy being single, and it's an exciting adventure. I've also qualified her as being adventurous. I mention qualities I like are adventurous, spontaneous, sense of humor.
I seed the pull. We talk about some travels, and she asks if I've been to Arizona. I tell her I've been to Phoenix. She guesses I went there for, "something class, because you look like a classy guy", to which I laugh and say "sometimes I am". In retrospect I should have gone quiet and made it more sexual then said the line.
At one point, I'm making a point and I touch her between her shoulder and her chest, and she has a really funny look on her face, which I move past, but I think she was uncomfortable, so I step back touch a little bit. We talk about some classes we've taken, and I mention the ones I've taken, and am in a speech and voice class. I tell her to give me her hands and have her feel my chest as I describe the movement of my lungs and ribs.
At some point a live band starts playing and it becomes really loud. Throughout the date we're both asking the other to repeat things, and the live music makes it harder. One benefit of this is that we are leaning into each other a lot in order to hear, so there's a lot of incidental touch, with her initiating a lot of it.
I suggest we finish our drinks and head somewhere else, she agrees.
We walk out of the bar and talk some more about other classes we're interested in. She mentions she's done aerial gymnastics, pole dancing, among other things. I feel like we're on a high point, so I suggest midway that we should mix some drinks ourselves, to which she questions by asking where. I tell her my place, and she's just like, "no". I laugh it off, but there's an uncomfortable feeling in the air. We go to the original bar, and she says it's too hot there, so I say I know a place nearby where we can play some games. We walk over, and are talking, and reach the place. We go to order drinks, and I realize that I left my credit card at the other bar, and forgot to get it, so I ask her to pay for the drinks. The vibe completely falls away here, and she switches from being about to order wine to ordering shots. She takes the shot, then goes "I have to go" and says it was nice meeting me.
I think she thought I was using her for free drinks, or that I was cheap, when in reality I legitimately forgot my card.
Looking back, this seems like a girl who I should not have tried to pull on date 1. I had a feeling internally that she wasn't ready, so I should have gone to a second place and then ended with a good kiss.
I'm still going to focus on trying to pull after every date, but this was a girl who for best results I should not have. I think being more sexual, by speaking slower, louder, and with more sexual tonality would have helped.
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