Really at a sticking point, crisis, or whatever right now and I want to push past this so I'm going to just make a journal and go from there.
Intro
First off, the name is BlackBolt. Name comes from me being a bit of a comic nerd and track runner in high school. I've been a reader of girlschase since late 2012 I believe. Guess I was pretty average in looks/attracting girls growing up, had typical childhood "girlfriends" or whatever, first kiss in fourth grade. Had first real girlfriend junior year in high school. Lost my virginity that year after about 8 months of dating her because I used to be very religious and wanted to wait until marriage to have sex (haha it's crazy how much I changed since then)! We dated up until graduation, broke up, but found out shortly after she was pregnant with twins. So I attend the state university and go home most weekends to see the kiddies.
College and Growth
Came into college thinking it would be like the wild movies, girls running nude in the hallways, easy no strings attached sex all the time. Started taking classes and moved into dorms on campus the summer of 2012. Great experiences with approaching as I'm a natural extrovert but most interactions ended up just being platonic. Only banged 1 girl that summer, probably due to the fact that I have yet to discover GC or the concept of moving fast. Also , since I wasn't running track anymoe, I took up lifting more and by the fall put on serious muscle. That fall after pulling a lot of numbers but having many flakes and girls not responding to texts. I found GC after in my frustration Googling, What to do when girls don't text back. Since then I found GC and used the principles learned to bang 27 women up to date. All in all, I was proud with my progress up until junior year.
Current Crisis/Sticking Point
I've been getting laid fairly consistently throughout college and thought I enjoyed the life of being single and having flings. That was until earlier this year when I met an amazing, girlfriend material girl. She blew every girl I'd ever been with out the water. She was beautiful, feminine, passionate, driven, intelligent, and was not a party goer or drinker. She was perfect. I actually managed to fuck her by the 2nd date and things would have went well but the 2nd time we fucked I was drunk, put the condom on backwards, and she found it inside of her when she was home the next morning. So I fucked that up and after a series of needy text messages with her not responding I finally gave up and moved on. I've banged a few girls since her but after that incident I realized that she was by far the highest quality girl I'd ever been with. Since her I'd been really desiring meeting a high quality girl and reach mastery (which to me will be when I have absolute abundance that I can meet, fuck, and hold onto girls just like her). Before I was a quantity > quality man but now I want more quality in my life. I'm tired of getting girls that don't even compete with her.
Current Discovery: My fears and what I need to work On
Another main reason I'm deciding to write this journal is today, when I made the effort that I definitely want to focus on quality of girls, is that I punked out of talking to 3 beautiful girls. 2 were in the crowded dining hall and 1 was in the computer lab which was also crowded. I made a discovery today, I still have approach anxiety in certain situations. I thought I overcame AA a long time ago but I was either in denial or just flat out wrong. Looking back at the girls I fucked in the past, most were average, to above average but only 2 were beautiful, the girl I fucked up with this year and a girl from freshmen year who I met at a party. The 2nd girl was a fluke in my opinion, we were at a party and I was shirtless, she just liked my body and there was NO SKILL INVOLVED. So my fear is twofold, approaching women who I deem knockouts and approaching them in places where if I get shot down a bunch of people will see me. Well I have to conquer these two things before I achieve Mastery. I'll also try and adhere to the technician diagnostic quiz booklet you get from GC . So I'll post my results , findings, and challenges here.
Intro
First off, the name is BlackBolt. Name comes from me being a bit of a comic nerd and track runner in high school. I've been a reader of girlschase since late 2012 I believe. Guess I was pretty average in looks/attracting girls growing up, had typical childhood "girlfriends" or whatever, first kiss in fourth grade. Had first real girlfriend junior year in high school. Lost my virginity that year after about 8 months of dating her because I used to be very religious and wanted to wait until marriage to have sex (haha it's crazy how much I changed since then)! We dated up until graduation, broke up, but found out shortly after she was pregnant with twins. So I attend the state university and go home most weekends to see the kiddies.
College and Growth
Came into college thinking it would be like the wild movies, girls running nude in the hallways, easy no strings attached sex all the time. Started taking classes and moved into dorms on campus the summer of 2012. Great experiences with approaching as I'm a natural extrovert but most interactions ended up just being platonic. Only banged 1 girl that summer, probably due to the fact that I have yet to discover GC or the concept of moving fast. Also , since I wasn't running track anymoe, I took up lifting more and by the fall put on serious muscle. That fall after pulling a lot of numbers but having many flakes and girls not responding to texts. I found GC after in my frustration Googling, What to do when girls don't text back. Since then I found GC and used the principles learned to bang 27 women up to date. All in all, I was proud with my progress up until junior year.
Current Crisis/Sticking Point
I've been getting laid fairly consistently throughout college and thought I enjoyed the life of being single and having flings. That was until earlier this year when I met an amazing, girlfriend material girl. She blew every girl I'd ever been with out the water. She was beautiful, feminine, passionate, driven, intelligent, and was not a party goer or drinker. She was perfect. I actually managed to fuck her by the 2nd date and things would have went well but the 2nd time we fucked I was drunk, put the condom on backwards, and she found it inside of her when she was home the next morning. So I fucked that up and after a series of needy text messages with her not responding I finally gave up and moved on. I've banged a few girls since her but after that incident I realized that she was by far the highest quality girl I'd ever been with. Since her I'd been really desiring meeting a high quality girl and reach mastery (which to me will be when I have absolute abundance that I can meet, fuck, and hold onto girls just like her). Before I was a quantity > quality man but now I want more quality in my life. I'm tired of getting girls that don't even compete with her.
Current Discovery: My fears and what I need to work On
Another main reason I'm deciding to write this journal is today, when I made the effort that I definitely want to focus on quality of girls, is that I punked out of talking to 3 beautiful girls. 2 were in the crowded dining hall and 1 was in the computer lab which was also crowded. I made a discovery today, I still have approach anxiety in certain situations. I thought I overcame AA a long time ago but I was either in denial or just flat out wrong. Looking back at the girls I fucked in the past, most were average, to above average but only 2 were beautiful, the girl I fucked up with this year and a girl from freshmen year who I met at a party. The 2nd girl was a fluke in my opinion, we were at a party and I was shirtless, she just liked my body and there was NO SKILL INVOLVED. So my fear is twofold, approaching women who I deem knockouts and approaching them in places where if I get shot down a bunch of people will see me. Well I have to conquer these two things before I achieve Mastery. I'll also try and adhere to the technician diagnostic quiz booklet you get from GC . So I'll post my results , findings, and challenges here.