Frustrating wingman

[Mr.Rob]

Do screw that you don't need a wingman.

If he's going to be a wuss don't worry about it. Let him tell his tall of going out and approaching girls, nod your head, and then go chat up the cute girl that's checking you out down on the bar .

Who knows maybe he'll get jealous and decide to sack up and go talk to a girl. Lol.

Don't worry about it you don't need a wingman, keep him around for social momentum but if you see a girl you find attractive then go express that to her.

-Rob

 

[Franco]

Sounds like a guy who doesn't go out to meet girls; in other words, he sounds like a bad wingman. I would go out alone or find a new one!

- Franco

 

[BarryS1]

He basically flip flops from claiming he doesn't want to focus on girls or that you should find them in social circle only to wanting to go out to nightclubs or claiming he did some cold approach on a train or somewhere.

It seems like you have a neutral wingman, doesn't help you approach, but isn't against the idea. I go out sometimes with a friend like that. They can be useful for providing social proof (if dressed well), but I agree with Mr. Rob - when the times comes, leave the conversation and approach the girl! For example, when spotting a girl looking at me, I stop talking to my friend and approach her. I actually do better with a neutral wingman than going out alone, almost like a source of conversation the entire night for social momentum.

Interested in hearing other's experiences.

 

[Estate]

Not every guy is into it. And really it'll break your heart trying to convince them otherwise.

I have a friend who I'm just not able to go to bars with anymore. Halfway through the 1st drink in a crowded bar he'll complain there are no women there and we should leave. He pouts until we do leave and if we go elsewhere he complains again that there's no women anywhere and he wants to leave to New York (in his words there is 5 women to every man in NY... wtf?)

If I do approach girls with him there he tries to blow me out and then says he saw them first and I cook blocked him. The guy is totally draining but I've tried my best and he's just very insecure around women and unwilling to change.

Drop him as a wingman
He won't do you any good.

 

[ocantu1987]

I lost my best friend because I was a bad wingman, i wouldn't approach and I was real negative about women in general haha he would be surprised if he would see what i can do now when it comes to talking to women.

 

[Wisop]

It's a shame when this happens, maybe it is best to cut ties in certain scenarios. I know my best friend is not conducive to talking to girls, we go out together every time but just end up chatting cynically like the muppets in the balcony.

 

[Estate]

I'm much the same as above.

The funny thing is that I have two friends who actually say they want to go meet women. Like, every weekend they will call me up looking to go out to meet women, but when we do the same things occur....

- I can't really talk to them, I try to get in a good mood by shooting the shit, and have a drink, then go meet some women. But they just zone out, you can't really converse with them, they just glare at every women around us until the women moves. I try my best to get them to join in some banter and rela but they won't. I find it creepy, god knows what the women around us must think.
- Last weekend I had to keep dragging them back into the crowd as they kept edging to the corner of the bar. I went out for a cigarette at one point and they had moved to standing right outside the ladies bathroom, I even asked the WTF! when I came back in. What was weirder is that the bathroom is in the restaurant part of the place so its just really weird to actually stand there, nobody else was. I had to tell them I wasn't standing there.
- To get them into the crowd, they only way they would was by me getting them seats at the bar. Otherwise they wouldn't go near the crowd.
- They are becoming draining. I literally just didn't enjoy my night out and I felt way off my game around them, I felt like I was their dad or I had to look after them somehow. It just drained me. I really don't want to put myself in that position again.
- I had no success with women as a result of it. I felt like I was babying them and the few times I managed to open some girls, they quickly moved in and said something weird or innappropriate.
- They've been asking for weeks to go to this really "upscale" place so we dressed our best and headed out there... Within an hour of being there, they declared that every woman there was "stuck up" and we had to leave to go somewhere else... 11pm on Saturday night, I was sitting in an old pizza shop listening to them moan... I should have stayed inside with the women.

Most of this was my own fault, I enabled it by actually trying to push them along but I'm kinda done with it. They aren't even fun to hang out with, they are not only bad at game themselves but without even realising, can blow me out of a set too. It's just not worth it with guys like this.

 

[Gentle_Phrases]

LOL "Where are all the good (wing)men?"

They are becoming draining. I literally just didn't enjoy my night out and I felt way off my game around them, I felt like I was their dad or I had to look after them somehow. It just drained me. I really don't want to put myself in that position again.

He basically flip flops from claiming he doesn't want to focus on girls or that you should find them in social circle only to wanting to go out to nightclubs

Funny how my wingman experience mirrors each of yours, LOL! Looking back, I can see how maybe I would have been this guy around 0-50 approaches. I had to use all my mental energy to manage my wing's emotions, overcome his objections and push this kid to approach TWO CHICKS. Then at the end he said "Wow, this is game stuff is mentally draining." ROFL!

Not every guy is into it. And really it'll break your heart trying to convince them otherwise.

True. There was this small Asian guy I knew only briefly that kept on telling me to talk to girls back when I was in a place where I could go to clubs. Although he never followed me in set (had a gf), he'd always say "hey faggot, why aren't you approaching girls? Are you gay or something? STOP BEING A PUSSY" LOL - he has no idea how much he helped me! Every time he called me out I would hesitate. Then when he wasn't looking, I would approach . Something small. A smile. A wave. But he never saw any of that.

After that first outing, I was approaching like a madman and even went out alone to practice! That guy changed my life man.


So Estate, MattRyan just know that at least you tried. Maybe it'll take effect years later. And please, in the future be open to a kid like me that just needs some (hard) ribbing. The ones who want to will change.

 

[robbies]

I have a friend like that. He complains incessantly about being alone, mainly because he's "married" to his job. He also bitches about how poisonous and spoiled American girls are. Yet, he's since changed his job to have more personal time and still complains about the long hours spent at work. I've brought up going to night clubs and speed dating events, only to be met with the sound of silence. Whenever I encourage him to approach a girl, he invariably gives some excuse on why the girls is all wrong, when all I want is for us to practice. The suggestions I made to go to a night club (we both dislike nightclubs) is for practice. The suggestion I made for speed dating is for practice.

I've concluded that his refusal to go and practice is tied to his inexperience with mingling with girls. He's a very good friend of mine, but his insistence on remaining the same (single, 37) and refusal to grow as a person has become the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. I will start cutting contact with him, because a) he's a emotional contagion and b) he is so stuck on his own ways that he refuses to grow as a man. I've long move on from where he is.

As for your wingman friend, I say screw him! By sticking to his side and wanting to stay his friend, you are only using him as an excuse to maintain the status quo, to remain stagnant as an individual. Go approach by yourself or reach out to someone, either through the Girls Chase or other PUA forums, for a wingman.