Fuck buddy catching feelings?

[Dylweed]

I've been on and off hanging out and fucking a girl for 2.5 years. From the very beginning before we fucked I told her I didn't want a relationship and that I was sleeping with other girls.

I've always felt she wanted more than fwb so I always kept reassuring her what it was. She bought me an expensive sweatshirt for my bday and started inviting herself to hang out with my social circle, hanging out with my friends without me. I felt she was trying to get closer to me and become a part of my life. I always felt she was afraid to tell me she wanted more than fwb because she didn't want to scare me away.

Over this time I have probably had this conversation 8 times where I told her I didn't want a relationship and she always says she understands but when I recently got into an exclusive relationship with some one else I heard from everyone else that she was super mad at me. 20mins after I became Facebook official with my girlfriend she became Facebook official with her son's dad, in complete reaction to me. She told my friend I led her on and gave mixed signals. She texted her her female friend saying I was a "fuck bag". She also kept asking my guy friends to hang out, gave one of them a blow job.

Now my exclusive relationship had to end because she had to move and this girl showed up at my work, I bartend, and she totally wanted to hook up. I turned her down and told her id think about it because I told her I can't trust her, she lies all the time, once told me she didn't even have a kid when she really does. She lied about being mad at me when I got a girlfriend. She lied about my friend. So shows I can't trust her when she says that she understands we're just fwb. I think she still has hope and is in love with me and I don't know if I should fuck her again.

The sex is good and it's so tempting but I feel like I make her life worse by continuing to sleep with her because it doesn't give her a chance to move on and forget about me, like I need to help her move on. But then part of me feels like she needs to learn on her own and that if I make my intentions real clear then that's okay because then it's on her? Idk what do you guys think?

 

[Lover]

You cannot change her. She is who she is, she feels what she feels. Her feelings will not change no matter the number of times you tell her that you guys are only fwb. She has been going to these extremes to change your mind about seeing her as a gf candidate, and she feels like she has put in so much work, but you're giving her nothing back. She wants you to reciprocate those feelings.

BUT! It is ALREADY on her. You told her from the beginning that you were not seeking a relationship. But there's one catch.. you told her you didn't want a relationship, but you got into one with another girl?

I don't know about you, but I'd be bitter if I were her.. saying you don't want relationships in general vs. saying you do not want one with her are two different things. Of course she should understand those things, but still.. feelings are complex.

I had a similar experience with a girl: we started as fwb, but she got feelings for me. She worked hard to prove herself to me, but I could hardly see her as a gf no matter what she did. I stressed out that she should not do it because she would hurt herself, but she couldn't help it. I didn't end it because I was selfish. The sex was so good, why would I end it?

However, it ended very, very bad between us, and most of it was my fault.. If there is one thing I could change about the way I handled things back then, I would definitely have ended things sooner.

I'm not sure how she will react, but you are adding fuel to the fire by not endings now. Stop being selfish, you can find other fwb who won't get feelings for you