Fucked Her and now she doesn't Respond to My Texts

[Theozil10]

So I met this girl on OKcupid and she seemed really interested in me. She was out of town when I asked her out, but as soon as she was back in town we got together and went for drinks. The date went really well, had fun with her, made her laugh, a lot of DHV moments with friends recognizing me at the restaurant and coming over to say hi. We hoped around to a couple different bars even though she wasn't drinking and I was.

Finally, towards the end of the night we're walking back to my car and I grab her to start making out. As we are making out she says she wants me so badly, so I bring her back to my place and we have sex. I went down on her for longer than I do for most girls, because she was the hottest girl i've been with in a long time. I drop her off at her car later and she texts me that night joking about not leaving the condoms on the couch incase my roommates see it.

I didn't text her back for two days because I was really busy and just forgot to text her back. When I did text her back, she didn't respond. A few days later I accidentally text her a message I meant to text another girl basically saying "Hey Sarah, we're meeting at x bar at 9pm."

A week later I text her to ask her if she wants to go out. She texts back saying "Why did you call me Sarah..." I text her back saying that I meant to text someone else and used the excuse that I'm not good at texting while driving. She doesn't respond.

4 days ago I text her "I'm taking your silence as meaning, Theozil10 you handsome devil I can't wait to see you." ... No response

I'm trying to figure out where I went wrong. Did I come across too needy? Is she upset I'm texting other girls? etc.

What should I do now? Our date went better than most of my dates do and I go on a lot of dates, so I'm not really that desperate, but she's a cool girl. I know she says she is an independent career women, if that makes any difference.

What should I do from here? Should I text her "Hey, lets go for a drink/dinner later this week, unless your still upset over that silly text"? Or should I pretend it never happened and try to make her laugh and then ask her out again? Should I just call and leave a message?

 

[luego]

Buyer's remorse, combined with your horrible text mistake.

Online girls may very well have no plan to ever see you again. She wanted sex, so did you, and you pass like 2 ships in the night. You're fucking that up by following up with her.

Or she feels like a slut - she acted out of character, was seduced by you, had a great date, etc.... and then you went completely cold on her for 2 days, even after she initiates the text. She's sitting there at home, wondering why you haven't even sent her a "Had a great night" followup. And then you compound that by mis-texting, so now she's sure she's just one in a harem.

 

[Franco]

Theozil10,

Ouch. The mistakes you made were actually not small at all here. It's unfortunate because they were both legitimate mistakes that any guy could make, but they were detrimental due to both the timing of the mistakes and the type of mistakes they were.

I didn't text her back for two days because I was really busy and just forgot to text her back.

No matter how busy you are, you can never allow yourself to be too busy to text a girl back the next day after the first night she sleeps with you. This is an absolutely critical time where she's extremely worried about how you view her (i.e. "did I sleep with him too fast? Does he think I'm a slut? Did he use me for sex?") So when and how you respond is absolutely vital to her opinion of you. Make sure that whenever you sleep with a girl that you text her sometime the next day (preferably in the morning) with something warm and lighthearted that puts her mind at ease. Something along the lines of, "Hey Janet, I had a great time with you last night. Hope you aren't too tired! "

A few days later I accidentally text her a message I meant to text another girl basically saying "Hey Sarah, we're meeting at x bar at 9pm."

Double ouch. The problem with this is that you already made a huge mistake literally right before this, and then you compounded it by making her think she really WAS just another lay (because you're obviously meeting up with another girl at a bar). To her, all you did was confirm her worries that she was just a quick, non-important lay, and you probably hurt her ego pretty badly.

"I'm taking your silence as meaning, Theozil10 you handsome devil I can't wait to see you."

This was not a good response because your warmth levels are already very low, and this comes across too much as a "seducing" attempt when you've already seduced her, and now your goal needs to be to build warmth.

This one could be pretty dead in the water, bud. Although, when you sleep with a girl on the first date, there's always a chance that she may ignore the bullshit that you've done and give you another chance, but it might be out of your control at this point.

Your best option might literally be to apologize to her and address her concern directly:

You: "Hey Janet, I'm really sorry I didn't get back to you after our date on Thursday. I had a really great time with you, and I wanted you to know that. I ended up being extremely busy the next couple of days, and that prevented me from texting you back in time. I hope you did not take that the wrong way because I sense that you might be feeling that way. If you'd like to get together again, I'd be happy to do that.

In this case, I'd say it's pretty obvious you messed up, so apologizing is probably in order here. The best thing you can do is try to avoid those mistakes next time so that you don't put yourself in the same position. =)

- Franco

 

[Theozil10]

Thanks luego and Franco

Your both right about the buyers remorse and not getting back to her in that vital moment. I guess I've been trying to hard to be the aloof bad boy that it blew up in my face. I've been going on a lot of dates and think that my game has been slacking, because I'm finding it easier now to get women.

I'll send her what you said Franco and hope that it goes well. If not, I've learned my lesson and i'll move on. I always seem to ruin things with the girls I like and never with the girls i'm not that interested in.

I guess I'm worrying too much about coming off desperate. I'm just finding it hard to find the line between desperate and persistent, especially when girls in my area are so flakey.

Thanks again I'll let you know how it goes!

 

[ILoveElla]

a lot of DHV moments

DHV?

I'm trying to figure out where I went wrong. Did I come across too needy?

Oh dear oh dear oh dear! Obviously when you called her Sarah, she thought there might have been a high chance you were playing mind games. It's not that she minds you seeing other women, it's just that women(her) can have self respect too!

Or maybe somebody just came on hear to stroke his own ego a bit!