Fucked up big time. Any help/advice would be sincerely appreciated.

[Dontfuckup]

Hey all, before I start my story, I'd like to say I recently made a huge mistake and it seems like this is an extremely rare and odd issue, which means guys in my situation are not well understood. In case any other guys have been in my situation, i sympathize with you deeply and I hope this post can potentially serve as a warning to prevent others from making the same mistake.
Anyways, I'm a young dude right now (18) and pretty inexperienced with girls. Recently, hoping to get some dating experience, I asked a friend if we could go out to meet girls, and he suggested going to a "kiss room" (where you can pay girls to pretend to be your gf for half an hour and kiss you, or something like that). I thought it was a bit stupid but since I only have a week left in this country, he said that dating was not an option, so it was either this, a prostitute, or a ons. I went with the kiss room option, thinking "well why not" (which I'm now starting to see was a ridiculous mindset). He took me to the red light district, and turns out I was getting a prostitute. I thought it would just be a hand job, which I thought was okay (again, only now realizing I should have avoided this at all costs). Not until I was inside and it was too late did I realize I was getting sex, when it was too late, but I just did it without hesitation, which I regret like crazy now). Long story short, I lost my virginity to a prostitute (although I didn't get off).
The next day I told two of my other buddies about it as we were hanging out. In a nutshell, they told me what I did was super wierd and I should never tell anyone, lest I permanently ruin my reputation. Even worse, they said that no girl will want me if she knows I lost my v card to a pro.
As you can see, this means I know have to permanently keep a huge secret for the rest of my life, or instantly lose value in people's eyes. In case it's not already clear, I have made an irreversible mistake and feel terrible, and at this point I'd advise readers who might potentially do the same thing to never do it. You will never be able to undo it.
Mtg main concerns are these: do many girlfriends want to know how you lost your virginity? Obviously I'd have to lie, or at least tell a half truth; do you guys think lying to a girl you love like that is unacceptable? Also, how should I handle the burden of keeping a secret? Do any of you guys keep secrets from your girlfriends or wives, and does it work out for you?
This does bring to mind some of the articles about how having a "sketchy past" and "being mysterious" can be attractive. However, this is definetly not in the same boat, right? I.e if you tell a girlfriend that you used to do drugs, that's the right kind of "byronic", but my situation will not increase, but completely erase my value in a girls eyes, yes?
Sorry about the long post, but if you've got this far, thank you so much. I needed to get this off my chest. Any advice from anyone, especially with relevant experience, would be highly appreciated. Please don't make the same mistake I did

 

[Hue]

Dontfuckup,

Sup man. I don't think that your situation is all that uncommon. It's not that crazy of a development with guys that "can't get laid". They really want sex and to see what it's like, but aren't getting any results from what they've been doing, so they pay for sex. Makes sense, actually.

The next day I told two of my other buddies about it as we were hanging out. In a nutshell, they told me what I did was super wierd and I should never tell anyone, lest I permanently ruin my reputation.

Sounds like your friends are judging you, and you're letting their worldview of what happened become your worldview.

Do you think that having a different perspective of what you did may be more healthy than one that paints you as a weirdo?

If you regret what you did, then don't do it again, and move on. However, it sounds like you're allowing one thing you did paint your entire self-image. That's not only an unhealthy mindset, that's just inaccurate bro.

Mtg main concerns are these: do many girlfriends want to know how you lost your virginity? Obviously I'd have to lie, or at least tell a half truth; do you guys think lying to a girl you love like that is unacceptable? Also, how should I handle the burden of keeping a secret? Do any of you guys keep secrets from your girlfriends or wives, and does it work out for you?

If the issue comes up (and it probably won't more times than not), you can just say something vague in a flirty, nonchalant way. Or you could blow it into something obviously unrealistic and get the attention off of it.


"How'd I lose my virginity? Wouldn't you like to know (; "

"Losing my virginity? Well, it was actually an orgy with two models, a hooker, me, Brad Pitt, and Kanye. Pretty fun time. Kanye was really into being bottom, believe it or not."


The only time I've ever been asked how I lost my virginity was during my fraternity hazing, and with 1 girl who I was fuck buddies with, and it was nothing more than a fun, open minded conversation. Maybe right now it seems like a HUGE deal, but to most people, it's not a big deal.

I bet you look back at this in a few years (and several women ;P ) later and laugh.

And dude, you're allowed to have secrets lol. Everyone's got em, everyone lives with em, and people are none the wiser as to what they are. Try not to overthink it.

Most virginity stories are lame anyways. From my friends that have fucked prostitutes when they studied abroad, they told me the women were total FREAKS in the sack. I bet you had way better sex for your first time than most of your buddies when they lost their virginities (despite not getting off). Most first-times are awkward and perhaps confusing. Sure, you paid for yours, but now with the next girl you fuck you'll have a better idea of what to do / what sex is like.

And if someone is admittedly asking you? They don't fuck off after you respond in one of the ways above? Well, that's none of their fucking business. Turn it back to them, "Well, that's not really your business lol. Why is it you're so interested?".
If that's too aggressive for your taste, just nonchalantly say "I don't kiss and tell" in a flirty way.

No worries bro, don't beat yourself up too bad. Fucking up is a necessary part of learning and growth.


Hueman

 

[Dontfuckup]

@hueman wow. You must have spent a whole typing that haha thanks for the thoughtful response.
I guess you're right that I'm fearing judgment a lot, probably since I'm still young and impressionable. I'm glad to hear that what others think about me might simply not be right, never thought of it that way. I wasn't desperate for sex or anything lmao it just happened while my bro and I were bouncing around bars and I got mildly buzzed from a few beers, although I certainly went into it without thinking enough.
Just wanted to say thanks for the honest response, reading it helped me feel better. Hope you have an awesome day man

 

[Hue]

What can I say, I like returning the favor of GC to new guys on here (;
One of my earliest post had me freaking the fuck out over something rather small haha, I know how it goes.

No problem bruddah, stay hustlin

Hueman