Game Alchemy: Girls, Cash, and Ballin’


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
Beginning this journal to track my journey from journeyman to master artisan.

Because right now I’m at a crossroads. I’ve been in game for years and feel like my results are pretty good, but not where I know I can be at. Enough with this intermediate purgatory. I want to level up. Ascend. With girls, cash, and ballin’. Alchemy.

Much much more to come. Stay tuned.

PS: A certain game re-released today. Back to the good old days. But there’s no going back. Instead I’m going to forge a new path forward. A path to make this life, of real flesh and blood, as fucking epic as I felt first stepping into that fantasy world over a decade ago.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
Ok, so more on WHY I’m creating this journal.

The #1 reason is that I’ve felt stuck in multiple areas of my life (Girls, Cash, and Ballin’) for over two years now. There have been many turning points in my life, breakthroughs, paradigm shifts, plateaus shattering, and big results that followed. I’ll get into the specifics of some of those later. For now, it’s enough to say that towards the end of 2012 I found out about game and self-development. At that point in time (almost 20 years old) I had only had sex 1 time in my life. Now I’m 26 and I’ve slept with almost 50 girls, most of them more than a single one night stand.

Despite my progress with girls, making money (Cash), and playing my sport (Ballin’) after learning about game/self-improvement, things have stalled out. I’m almost exactly where I was 2 years ago. That makes me think of Santiago in the Alchemist when he learns how far away the pyramids still are after working for a year in the glass shop. This is the longest plateau I’ve been on. I feel like Jesus in the fucking desert lol. Metaphorically, because there has definitely been a lot of good to happen in the past two years (maybe not being grateful enough for what I already have is part of what’s holding me back). However, on the whole, stuckness is the abiding feeling. Intermediate purgatory.

Perhaps I’m on the cusp of my greatest breakthrough. Or in the midst of it. Looking back on this 3, 6, or 12 months from now will tell a fuller story. That’s why I’m writing this journal, to be a potential catalyst in manifesting that breakthrough.

My top priority is Ballin’, then Cash, then Girls, but maybe it doesn’t make sense to order them because they are all synergistic. My main goal with Girls is to be chasing less, putting in less effort, yet get more consistent results; i.e. sleep with a higher % of the girls I open, all while sleeping with more attractive women, the women that my best self desires. If I can achieve those results then that frees up time and mental/physical bandwidth to focus on Cash & Ballin’.

In the 1st week of May 2020 I have a tryout for a team I want to play for in the United States. Ballin’. I have been aiming to play for them for almost 5 years. There are 248 sunsets between now and May 1st, 2020. It’s now or never.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
Walking up stairs to my apartment today, carrying groceries and other stuff from my car. Realized that I was carrying way too much shit. Literally, almost dropping a glass bottle, holding it in my mouth for a moment like some thot lol. And. Figuratively. Like I'm stretched to thin. Too distracted with screens, porn, and the trivial BS to really make the progress towards my goals that will make my dream life a reality. Procrastinating to the max. I must drop some things that are not serving me. Or maybe I could just get a bigger bag to put all the stuff in ;)

Jokes aside, this is a big sticking point for me in life. It's obvious I carry too much. I hold on to limiting beliefs from my youth. One big one is that I'm small and weak. I'm 6' 1", less than 10% body fat, and have been a beast in the weight room for years now, yet part of me still feels like that rail thin 13 year old who felt inferior to his buddies who hit puberty before him. You can also tell I carry too much based on the tension in my body and my inflexibility. Despite years of yoga, stretching, and tai chi, I still hold on to way too much. Deep in my fascia. I must let go if I want to be the player I know I can be, both on the field and with girls.

One win from yesterday was pushing through resistance to phone bank for a US democratic presidential candidate I like. It was only 30 minutes of phone banking, but I did have one solid conversation with a Tulsi Gabbard supporter, lamenting to him how it's a shame she didn't make it to the debate happening tomorrow evening. Comparing her to my candidate, answering his questions, getting him intrigued. He wanted to go check out my candidate's website by the end of the call! Good sign. Our #s grow :)

I have a date lined up for tomorrow night. Plan is to take a walk under the stars. May get it switched to tonight because a practice I coach got cancelled due to the weather. She messaged me earlier this afternoon asking about what time we'll meet tomorrow, suggesting 7pm. I reply with a text back saying my practice doesn't end until 8pm so the earliest I can meet is 8:30pm. Then I found out my practice today is cancelled so I sent her a WhatsApp voice message saying that and suggested we meet up today instead because I can meet earlier. Also suggested we watch a movie together because of the weather.

This will be our 2nd date, though the first date was 3 weeks ago because she went on a trip and our schedules didn't align last week. Nothing much happened physically during the first date, but that was more due to timing/logistics than chemistry I think. Hard to read because she's German with only decent English and my German is not so good. She seemed really rigid and matter of fact, for example multiple times she didn't realize I was joking around about things I said. Despite that, I'm going to try a homerun on this date. When she comes to pick me up from my apartment to go on our walk I'm going to yell down at her from my big windows and say 'come up here for a minute and check out this view'. We'll see what happens from there hahaha.

This past weekend was a wreck for me in regards to self-sabotage. I spent hours FAPing and watching porn. Spent hours on other screentime: YouTube, Social Media, Internet Surfing. Way way way too much time spent on things that aren't helping me achieve my dreams. I can be disciplined for a month and then it all crashes down for a few days. I posted to Instagram on Monday saying I wanted to do a 30 day screen cleanse, limiting social media and screen time. Since then I haven’t gone onto my Instagram app even though I checked the post via Internet to see likes/comments on it. Man my addiction to social media, internet surfing, porn, and FAPing is real. Haven't FAPed since Sunday night so that's a good start. 2 and a half streak going strong at the time of writing this.

All this talk about goals and cleanses and letting go has me wanting an accountability partner. Someone who I can be 100% real with and who is also trying to make positive changes in their life. We can push each other to stick to our commitments and stay on track towards our goals. I'll post something in the appropriate channel in the forums and see if anyone has interest.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
Watched this video by Liam @ The Naturals Lifestyle, this evening about porn and its effects on your sex life:

Left this comment on the video: Super insightful video. I’ve tried cutting porn completely out of my life, successfully at times for a couple months, but have had some setback with it the past few months. The challenge is real. That insatiable drive, never ending rabbit hole, goes on infinitely. I really appreciate the vulnerability in the video, true authenticity. @Liam - Are you familiar with Mantak Chia’s teachings, manipulating sexual energy, and achieving non-ejaculatory orgasm?

Now, reflecting on the video a bit, it has me thinking about my porn watching/masturbation habits. Like how I’m actually most turned on by girls teasing, stripping off their clothing, speaking into the camera about how I want them. I don’t actually care for P in V porn. I’m more turned on by curvy Instagram models posting bikini pics. Oh and measurement videos of curvy PAWGs gets me for some reason. I even had a girl I was sleeping with earlier this year send me a photo and video where she measured her booty and waist when we were sexting. 35” waist. 54” hips. Curvy goddess. Okay, enough validation seeking, enough woman pedastalizing.

All of this reminded me of how before I could even FAP, when I was like 11/12 years old, I was super excited to see we got a new Victoria Secret catalog in the mail. Or other woman’s clothing catalogs with a bathing suit section. I wasn’t FAPing at that point, but for some reason I was infatuated with seeing those women in lingerie or beach ware. I would steal the catalog for a few minutes before my mom knew it had arrived. That was the start of lusting over women in the 2D print/screen world. Well of course there were movies and TV before that too probably. The elevator scene in Liar Liar comes to mind.

Anyway, I know the more I lust over women on screens, the less I will get in real life (and even worse, the less fulfilling those real life experiences will actually be). Kind of like how eating lots of fast food/processed food changes your palate, your gut biome, and your bio-chemistry so you literally don’t feel as satisfied when you eat normal healthy food. I see parallels between that and porn.

I went 3 months without FAPing at the beginning of this year and I slept with 5 different girls in that time. Since then I’ve FAPd every 1 or 2 weeks and I’ve only slept with 2 new girls. Coincidence? I think not.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
Been a wild social past few days.

Still trying to set up a 3rd meet up with Golden Pony girl from this FR: The 2nd meet up was 9 days ago now. We’re writing and she wanted to meet last week, but our schedules really don’t overlap much.

Slept with a new girl last Sunday (8 days ago). Met her through OKCupid. Since then I have deleted all my online dating accounts. I want to meet girls in real life, one because it is better, and 2. because looking at girls’ profiles is lusting over girls on a screen which routinely leads me to watching porn, which I want to cut out of my life entirely, Over 48 hours clean as of now. We’ll see what happens. This time does feel different though with what happened Saturday night/yesterday.

I went to a birthday party Saturday night of a girl who is basically a groupie of my baseball club. She is the friend of the girlfriend of one of my teammates and she came to watch almost all of our games. Very strange thing for a girl to do in Germany lol, but she is decent friends (just friends) with two other guys on the team. She turned 20 and all the people at this party (~25 people) were 19 or 20. For some reason I decided to drink and it was my first time having more than a couple of drinks in a year. I brought mixings for sangria and also enjoyed some tequila and jaegermeister throughout the night. I probably drank a bit too much, though I didn’t have a bad hangover the next day, only a bit of stomach discomfort, tiredness, and a lot of mental discombobulation.

So before the party, I had only hung out with the birthday girl one time and that was in a group with three of my teammates and a teammate’s girlfriend. That was almost a month ago now and she and I (let’s call her bday girl or BDG) flirted quite a bit that night. Fast forward to this birthday, there’s two other girls I know there through my gym who I have very flirty relationships with too, one of whom recently broke up with a long term boyfriend. I was having incredible amounts of fun flirting with BDG and the other girls I knew, plus a couple more I met throughout the night. Being an American in this small German town and the star of my team gives me tons of social proof, even mini celebrity status, plus the 3 teammates of mine at the party view me as their leader. I suppose the only inconvenience about the whole situation was that this party was at her parents house and making something happen there with BDG at the end of the night would be challenging.

I went into it with the intention of having fun and laying groundwork to get her out with me 1 on 1 this week.

The way the party worked out. Everyone went home at like 1am and it was myself, a teammate of mine, BDG, and three of her friends (2 of which were the girls I knew from my gym) left hanging out. I’m immediately thinking how can we escalate this into an orgy hahaha. Party was outside at tables in the garden, but now we were all in the living room on a big sofa across from a TV. BDG gets an old PS2 karaoke game started up. In the moment I was too drunk to properly strategize, but looking back karaoke battles could have been a good strip type of game, loser takes off X articles of clothing.

I’ve been progressively doing more kino throughout the night. Injecting sexuality into conversation. Never have I ever had sex on a beach...then talking to one of the gym girls about her sex on a beach story. Completely open, without judgement. We then were jokingly picking out a 3rd person for a threesome. This was all before the final 2 guys 4 girls situation. Now that the ratio was great and I was with a teammate [he has no game :(], I started ramping up the kino. Running hands through hair, kisses on cheeks, even kissed my teammate on the cheek lol. I should have encouraged more girl on girl action.

Two obstacles came up. The older sister got sick upstairs and started throwing up, which distracted BDG and then the boyfriend of the older sister came down to hang with us after he put older sister in bed. Then, 3 random dudes showed up, I still don’t know who invited them or why they came. That pissed me off, though I still did my best to get the good vibes going, having fun even though the chances of an orgy were now realistically zero.

Night ends at 3 with all of us guys getting kicked out when the two gym girls leave as well. I should have pushed to get a ride home with them. Instead I walk home 15 minutes with my teammate, with a pit stop at a gorgeous place to look up at the stars (would have been awesome to have a girl there, though drunk bro talks do have their value too), and he crashes on my living room sofa.

At one point in the night at like 2 I was alone with BDG in the back garden, we danced slowly together a little bit, I went in for a kiss, but she pulled back, so I spun her and continued to dance like nothing happened. I’m glad we didn’t actually kiss. Hopefully it increased the tension for our meet up though. Since the party she has responded positively to my texts.

Okay so that brings me to yesterday. I met up with a girl from Tinder (matched a month ago but she has been away on trips) at 14h. I was so discombobulated. I seriously considered the possibility that I had gotten drugged by one of those 3 random dudes lol. Nah I just browned out a bit the night before and am not used to being hungover as it was my first one in a year.

The date went really well with the Tinder girl (let’s call her Bomb), but logistics dissuaded me from even going for a pull. I met her in the downtown of a city 20 minutes away from me, kind of halfway between us. I had plans to Skype my brother at 16h and a date with a different OKCupid girl at 18h. With Bomb we find a nice spot to sit in a plaza and just talk and talk and talk. I end the date without kissing her even though multiple times throughout I faked going in for a kiss and she really wanted it. She walks back to the train station. I walk to a cafe to Skype my bro.

After the Skype convo I open a girl who looked like a brown hair version of Regina George in mean girls who was sitting with a friend. We had made eye contact a couple of times, once after I spilled my latte macchiato (the whole day was a shit show with my ability to function properly lol) where she gave me such a pitying look. The waiter gave me another one for free which I was super grateful for after my spaz moment. I ask her and her friend if they speak English, they do, and then I say they’re both beautiful, but to the one I like I say something along the lines of ‘it’s beyond words, I just have to meet you’, we all exchange names and I shake hands with my target. Turns out both have boyfriends, but I still stay and chat for 10 minutes. Ask for her (let’s call her RG) Instagram and she says she’s deleted all of her social media 2 weeks ago which I’m very impressed by and then we talk about what led her to that and what the effects have been. A wonderfully positive interaction.

I had absolutely no shame today. I felt like I was barely able to function and I fully accepted it. Nothing made sense. I was questioning everything except my love for my art.

Met up with date #2 at some old castle ruins on a hill with gorgeous views. She’s not as attractive as I had hoped she’d be based on her photos and she takes 20 or so minutes to warm up. But I warm her up. At one point I’m sitting on a bench with her, giant monument to some kaiser to our left, view of the rolling green German hills to our right, and we’re talking about how she has overcome panic attacks, how I want to cut out porn from my life, how she hasn’t had sex in 2 months even though she was just in Bali for 3 weeks, and I proceed to give her shit about not having sex in Bali, because that is everybody’s dream right. Later on we meditate using one of my guided meditations, she’s not into it hahaha. We walk down a hill towards our cars, fake kiss again, she pulls me in wanting to make out, but I kiss her cheek and neck instead. Turning her on, without giving her what she wants. She asks when she can see me again. We part ways on a really high note.

As I was driving to the 2nd date, I noticed what looked like a parking ticket on my windshield. Date 1 and I parked after I picked her up from the train station and she told me we didn’t have to pay for the spot we found after she read what was on the parking meter. I took her for her word and was now a little ticked off that I got a parking ticket. When I parked for date 2, I take a look at the slip of paper and see it isn’t actually a parking ticket. Bomb left a note on her walk back to the train station saying how much she enjoyed our time together and how intense I am.

Driving to the 2nd date I saw this teenager in a wheel chair, having what looked like ALS, Stephen hawking type of syndrome. He was being rolled by his father, looking up with a derping look in his eyes. Goodness I have so much good in my life. Able bodied. Able mind. Born in America. Chasing a dream. A man in his prime.

Life is beautiful.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
Modeled from Hector’s original post -> Re: 2014 In The Mirror and The Future:

But this one is 2019 Q1-Q3 in the Mirror and ending the decade with FORWARD progress

Hey fellow heros,

This decade has been great, but the next one will be even better. Growth mindset. Always improving. Abundance. The GC way. Every time I see the GC acronym I think of one of my best friends from middle school and early high school. Very socially savvy. But later in high school people starting calling him GC because he talked about having genuine conversations with people, particularly girls he was interested in. He was seen as manipulative, which made the nickname funny. Anyway.... Looking at how far you’ve come can really motivate you. The past, present, and future blend together. Alchemy.

Lay Count

Lays: 8 (sitting at 49 total now) -> 6 cold approach, 1 Tinder, 1 OkCupid
Dates: 15 different girls
Days with Sex: 24 (Been wanting to have more consistent sex. Pre-2019 the most I ever had was sex on 18 different days in a year

Top 3 Accomplishments

1. Had my best season ever this summer with Ballin’/my art. Q1 was almost the worst I had ever played, but I persevered and made Q2/Q3 the best I’ve ever played. 2nd in my league in strikeouts. 3rd in ERA. Most innings pitched in the last calendar year than in any year of my life.

2. 100+ day game cold approaches in Buenos Aires in Q1. Really pushed my limits and approached more than I ever had before. Didn’t lower my standards. Made lots of progress with an abundance mindset with women during those 3 months.

3. Financially independent again after receiving support for rent/food expenses from my parents for 6 months towards the end of 2018 and into Q1/Q2 2019.

Top 3 Sticking Points

1A. Porn/Lusting over women on screens/FAPing to porn. It’s barely even porn too lol, mostly just curvy girls with or without clothing, not even penetration, it’s the voluptuousness that gets me. I know this seriously impedes my ability to channel my sexual energy in productive ways, like to my art, or towards sex with real girls, or with manifesting super voluptuous girls into my life like I did in Q1 2019 when I went 3 months without FAPing.

1B. Procrastinating via time spent on screens as a spectator instead of as a creator. Being a creator via screen is mostly good. Being a spectator via screen is mostly bad. Watching yet another YouTube video at the expense of creating my own. Watching a celebrity’s IG story instead of posting my own. Checking scores and highlights instead of playing the game myself. Following along with the presidential candidate I support instead of actually volunteering by phone banking, text banking, or making more money so I can donate more to the campaign (and getting family/friends on board too). Reading others’ LRs at the expense of going out and then writing my own. I am fully addicted to the dopamine loops of 21st century screen technology: Twitter, Reddit, surfing the web, Tinder, etc., and it is preventing me from balling how I want, making the cash that I want, and bedding the girls that I want.

2. Fascial/muscular tension. The tension I hold in my body is preventing me from pitching with the velocity I must pitch with in order to make the jump to minor league baseball in the United States. Tension in my waist/hips is also probably locking up my sexual energy instead of allowing it to flow freely throughout my being. It’s also probably preventing me from lasting as long as I’d like in bed.

3. Not quite reading situations with girls in a skillful way. Being too pushy when I should let the girl chase. Being too aloof, unattainable, and not leading a girl efficiently when the girl is really interested in me. I have to get better at knowing when to use the various skills I have. There is no one size fits all approach. You must be able to constantly adapt on the fly if you want to be advanced. This is what master PUAs do. This is what master ballers/painters/players do.

Top Lessons/Realizations

1. Maybe I don’t want to give up the procrastintion because I know what I have to do and the fact that I haven’t done it yet is creating guilt that makes me feel like I don’t deserve the success, even though success is right there for the taking, which creates a feedback loop.

2. Your brain can make an infinite amount of excuses. It can rationalize anything.

3. Uncertainty is your only certainty. I would play well for 90% of a game and then implode. I had a string of great performances and then came the worst game of my season. A week later I played the best game of my life. A week later I got hurt and missed two months. The game I make my comeback in I get hit in the head by a line drive beforehand. Somehow I am not concussed and I am able to play despite the blow to the head. Same thing with girls and game. You can feel like you’re on top of the world one date and then the next feel like nothing makes sense. This is the beauty of life. Roll with it. Accept the bad. Cherish the good. And keep making progress forward.

4. Environment can have 180 degree effects. I played like garbage earlier this year in Buenos Aires. Spent 4 nights in US. Then flew to Germany and 2 hours after stepping off a plane was on a ball field. Entirely new ball game. It isn’t so much the environment, but what the environment draws out of you. How the people/place/past experiences there effect your attitude, energy, stress levels, confidence, etc. In one week I was basically the same person, yet the change of place completely changed the game.

5. The only time to start is right now. Fuck your feelings. There is no magic moment. This moment has the magic. Now or never. And I never say never with Justin Bieber’s voice

6. Not a new one, but a reinforced one...there is some magic to all of this, beyond rationality, beyond logic. It could be determination that is so fucking complex and intertwined and synchronicitous, that to have the hubris to think we can understand it fully is complete bull shit. You can gain wisdom and align yourself with the forces that be, but you can never fully understand. We have divine power, but we are not God. “Awareness is curative” - Zan Perrion. Life is way too beautiful and way too serendipitous for it to be just some cold, mechanical, pointless, materialistic, hedonistic, cerebral slog.

Goals for Q4 2019

1. Complete TBR Velo Enhancement Throwing Program Phase 1 twice. Once in October. Once in November. Then in December pay for another video assessment with TBR and get access to Phase 2.

2. Film my story for Movement Monk - Tension Releasing Body course, get complementary access to the Embodied Flexibility Course, and spend 30 minutes a day on the course and its practices beginning in November.

3. Head down to Christchurch, NZ in November and earn more money than I spend while I’m there.

4. 6+ days of sex with HB8+ girls

5. No porn, no FAP, no excuses

6. Before opening any new internet tabs, jot down biggest takeaways from the internet tabs I already have open and then close them. Email inbox down to 0 too.

7. 1 hour/week of phone banking or text banking for my presidential candidate. #YangGang

8. Stay active in GC community and maintain correspondence with an accountability partner

9. Go through the Girlschase journeyman’s guide

Daily Habits for Q4 2019

1. 5 minutes gratitude practice + 5 minutes deep breathing / stretching combo + 1 round tai chi + my personal prayer after I wake up and before I use my phone/iPad/misc. screen

2. 15+ minutes standing meditation

3. When I notice urges/thoughts to look at porn, FAP, bite my nails, procrastinate, or be a spectator...STOP...accept the urge/thought, but instead of acting on it, grab your lucky ball, feel what it will be like to achieve the big 2020 goal and be grateful for it, and then take a couple minutes to stretch / breathe deeply

4. 5 minute deep breathing / stretch routine before going to sleep + I am a champion affirmation

Which will lead me to my...

Big 2020 Goal

Pitch 90mph and play for the Saint Paul Saints.

Closing Remarks

In 2009 I was in high school. My lay count was 0. I had my first taste of alcohol and my first taste of confidence around girls. I learned about the hero’s journey. I saw what was possible. Now, I am that hero. My vision is clear. My focus is fierce. My inner fire blazes. And I lift off.

May we all realize our grandest visions, courageously continue on our hero’s journey, become everyday alchemists, and create the better world in the coming decade.


p.s. come back to this post and see if I stuck to my word.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
Wrote this early Saturday morning @ 1am (October 5th):

Legit today was an amazing day. Always seems to happen the day after a hangover. I woke up at 8am after more than 10 hours of sleep. Cleaned my apartment because I was too incapacitated/lacking of willpower yesterday to do it. Not that bad of a mess after a 15 person pregame at my place. Organizing all the empty/half empty bottles and washing glasses/cups took the majority of the time. Still had time for a round of tai chi before heading off to a dentist appointment at 9:30am. Got to the dentist early and filled out the intake form. It's so funny doing this in another language and using educated guesses to know what information they're asking for, plus asking the cute registration desk girl lol. My teeth are in great shape.

Then I headed to the orthopedist. On Wednesday afternoon I was deadlifting at the gym (hex bar). Damn it was going so well. I had been banged up with some minor injuries in September, but had gotten back into the gym and deadlifted on Sunday. Three days later I was at it again. This time I accidentially put 5 extra kilos on the bar and my first set ended up being 3 reps @ 190kgs. It went up easy. My goal was to go 5 set of 3 reps with that weight, though after the first set was so easy I thought maybe I'd go up in the 5th set to set a benchmark for my next workout. Both set #2 and #3 go up easy (well nothing feels truly easy at 190kgs hahaha). You put down the weight after your third rep and all the blood starts rushing again. You stay bent down for a deep breath and internally make sure everything is good. You feel like a complete savage when you stand straight up again, breathing heavily after literally giving everything you have. Hands throbbing because your callouses aren't quite what they normally are after dialing your workouts back for a couple weeks. Total gorrila mode.

Then first rep of my 4th set. I get it up fine, and slowly begin to put it down. I feel a yank/twinge in my lower back. Fuck. I put down the weight and immediately stop. I rerack all the plates and go over to an area to do push ups and pull ups. My back hurt a bit doing these exercises, but not enough to make me consider completely stopping. Once you're all warmed up and have the adreneline going, your body is capable of extraordinary things. After I cooled down and was back home, the pain intensified so that I even felt it significantly while standing and sitting. I knew it wasn't good. Wednesday night was supposed to be a fun night with some teammates celebrating Reunification Day here in Germany. Now my injury put a damper on it.

A teammate came over to my place at 7pm to watch the National League wild card game (replay). I made some banging guacamole and a glass of sangria for myself. Another teammate came over at 8pm. More people filed in at 8:30pm. Eventually 15 in all were there pregaming for the dance party taking place a couple hundred yards up the street from my apartment. Convenient. I wasn't planning to drink a lot, but with the pain in my back I figured a bit of alcohol would probably make it feel a lot better. I wish I hadn't been right. Sangria turned into Jaegermeister, turned into Gin, turned into Beer, turned into Vodka Energy. Good lord. I barely remember anything after we left my place at 11:30pm. And I didn't return home until after 3am.

What a crazy night. Played beer pong with the peeps at my pregame. Germans are ridiculous when it comes to games. They want you to explain every single rule before it starts and if you add anything in the middle of the game they go beserk. I'm years out of college and play beer pong maybe once a year at this point, so I'm not even an expert on the rules. Still, they demand to know everything up front and I fight back with explaining rules as they come up during the games. Like calling island, like rebuttal, like guys fingering the balls out and girls blowing, like celebrity shots, like each partner on the team must shoot one ball per turn not 1 partner shooting both balls. That was extremely frustrating. More so because of how my mood was already impacted by my back injury.

Cool moment came when I was playing in the final game before we were going to leave for the dance party. My partner is a 38 year old Dad who I've never partied with before. He has never played beer pong either. For me, beer pong is the pinnacle of the party (depends on the party haha. At this pregame it turned out that everyone was hanging out in the same room, on sofas that all surrounded the pong table. In this case we were the center of attention). I remember college parties where you would wait an hour to get on the table and you better lock in and clutch up when it counts to make the most of your moments on the table. Pong combines focus, hand/eye coordination, and the clutch gene into a game that separates boys from men. Lol okay, it isn't actually that meaningful, quit being so dramatic.

Anyway, this 38 year old Dad (B) and I team up against one of my teammates and his girlfriend. We take a 2 cups left to 4 cups left lead. They come back and pull ahead, one cup to go while we still have 2 left on the table. My partner B was getting increasingly distracted and more erratic. There was a lot of feminine energy in the room (7 girls to 4 guys not including us) and B was letting all the chatter get to him. Air ball after air ball for like 4 or 5 rounds. Meanwhile, I wasn't quite clutch enough, close shots, some rims, but the ball wasn't finding the bottom. I was getting so pissed off at him that I took him out of the room into the adjacent hallway. I grabbed him by the shirt and shoved him up against a wall (gently). He was giggling like a schoolgirl. I lightly slapped him across the face, told him to get his act togehter, and went on for another 30 seconds about how everyone else in the room doesn't give a shit about this. How they want you to fail, chirping at you, laughing, and it is up to you to tune out all the distraction, eye on the bottom of the cup, breathing deeply, ultimately triumphant. He hits his next two shots and we win. I was in awe.

We leave for the party. I walk another teammate to his car. He wasn't drinking or staying out later because he was leaving early the next morning for a work trip. We had a heart to heart by his car for like 10 or 15 minutes. Out of all the guys on our team he is the most like a brother to me (little bro because he's 19 and I'm 26). Such a good dude, with so much potential on and off the field. I have just under 4 more weeks left here and I wanted to make it clear to him that I care about him and how it's the relationships with my teammates that I'll miss most about my time in Germany.

I roll up to the party at midnight. I remember a couple bits and pieces from the rest of the night. Thank God nothing horrible happened that I know of yet. Some of my friends there said they were super fucked up too and that they didn't think I was a complete disaster like I initially thought the next morning. I don't know how. I think two guys tried to fight me. I was hitting on their girlfriends and they came out of no where and shoved me. Both times they had friends quickly pull them away from me. I held my ground being like I don't have anything to prove. Getting in fights is a whole nother can of worms that I could explore (Aussie trying to choke me out after a game of beer pong in a hostel in Paris would be most relevant at the moment lol), though at this time I've already way too verbose.

He's where things get relevant to game/seduction. I went to a dance party at the same venue back in May and stayed sober that night. I met 17 girls over the course of that night. All but 3 of them had boyfriends (small town life). One of those 3 was 17. I got the number of one of the two of age, though it didn't turn into anything after she never replied to me. The other one I saw at another party and she turned into Golden Pony (link to field report). I was hoping that I would have at least one solid lead after this party and some how pulled it off. Was chatting with some girl who literally broke up with her boyfriend the day before (he also tried to fight me, also later in the night when he apologize to me he scolded me about how I should take all my flirtatiousness over to a bigger city where there aren't so many people with their significant others lol. True that to an extent. Or I could just not be so fucked up and be a lot more discreet. Pick your poison bro.). I don't remember how the girl and I parted ways. I barely remember our interaction at all. Let’s call her V though. All I know is that I found her on Facebook before going to bed at 5am and sent her a friend request.

The next morning she adds me back at 11am. I send her a message at 3pm. I can't believe how well she is responding. I have no idea what I did to generate this. And this girl is a stunner. I get her number after a couple of messages. Text her. Finalize plans this morning for tomorrow. We're grabbing coffee at a cafe about a 5 minute walk from my place. Dream scenario would be we spend ~30 minutes at the cafe, walk back to my place under the guise of her teaching me some German, P in V within ~30 minutes, learn some more German as an extra bonus. Would be a nice lay report. *Since joining in August I have slept with 3 new girls, but none of them I have been very excited about, all average looking. I want to only write up lay reports for the girls I'm proud of banging, or were interesting lays for one reason or another*

Wow that was a longwinded tangent hahahaha. I went to the orthopedist. Crowded as hell today with tons of old people. Man am I grateful for being young and sprite for the most part. They tell me to come back in an hour or so. I walk over to my gym and do 30 minutes of rehab/yoga exercises for my back. Solid use of that block of time. Walk back, wait 45 minutes to get seen, do some deep breathing, tai chi, and read some GirlsChase during this time. Get seen, doctor barely speaks English, does a couple chiropractic tests, I'm like 'where is the diagnosis bro?', he only asks if I want an injection for the pain or some pill to take. I'm like 'wtf?'. Western medicine at it's finest for you. Treat the symptoms, not the cause. Another sign that I must double down on my meditation/tai chi/movement monk/somatic movement path. That is the only way I will get true freedom in my body. Okay, enough doctor bashing, the real win was that he gave me the option to take next week off of work (I do landscaping/groudskeeping at an aquatic center part-time outside of baseball duties). Yes sir I will take the week off. Hallelujah. Every rose has a thorn. Every cloud, it's silver lining. Maybe I can think of a non-cliche to put in there too. Oh well it's late 1:53am and I want to get 8 hours of sleep before waking up at 10am tomorrow morning.

After the orthopedist I went home. Wifi out, damn. Can't watch playoff baseball now. Read Ambiance's journal instead on my phone. Standing meditation for 15 minutes. Called a girl I've slept with once from OkCupid up who texted me today and we organized plans for Sunday evening. Youth coach told me to stay home and take care of my back. I head to the pool to do some light exercise. I watched 30 minutes of baseball (Braves with the lefty kid Keuchel starting strong!!!) in the lobby mooching their wifi. Once in the pool the exercise turned into 25 meter freestyle sprints using only my arms. Am I too intense? Was in the pool for 20 minutes. Then went to the sauna. 15 minutes in super hot. 2 tai chi rounds out in the cold. Back in the medium hot sauna for 10 minutes. Cleansing the mind, body, and spirit. Got home at 9pm. Two hours of writing and scheduling logistics for events this weekend. Then cooking/eating. Now, writing this up.

Does anyone else feel like they message way too many different people. In the last 24 hours I have messaged...
⦁ 17 people via WhatsApp
⦁ 2 people via Instagram
⦁ 1 person via Facebook messenger
⦁ 2 replies on my FR+ on GC
⦁ 1 reply to Ambient's journal on GC

Of those 20 people via WA, IG, and FB...
⦁ 1 was a former meditation coaching client
⦁ 1 was a dude I met at the party
⦁ 8 were teammates
⦁ 1 was a youth coach at my club
⦁ 1 was my head coach
⦁ 1 was my aunt who messaged me some interesting US road trip to be at 70 degrees all throughout the year lol
⦁ 5 were girls I haven't slept with
⦁ 1 was the girl I made plans with for Sunday
⦁ 1 was a girl I was seeing in July/August before she left to study abroad

Gosh that feels like too much. I want to have a complete screentime cleanse. Maybe do a 10 day meditation retreat. Man that would be refreshing.

All that being said, today was a solid day. If I could string together a week of days like today, 2 weeks, 4 weeks, 8 weeks, 16 weeks, 32 weeks, 1 year, then I would achieve all of my dreams.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
Then wrote this up later on Saturday ~1pm...

To summarize where I'm at girl-wise right now:

-One good lead from the dance party (call her V), date set up for today, but she flaked for what I believe is a legit reason (fever/cold she had previously mentioned during our text exchange that she didn’t make sound like a big deal. Maybe I should’ve waited until I knew she was feeling better to set up a meet up. Difficult, go with momentum or go with waiting until a girl gets over her cold)

-Saw another girl at the dance party that I've hung out with twice with her friends (call her Cleo), probably lowered my chances of getting a meet up with her

-Drunk texted Golden Pony girl, probably lowered my chances of getting 4th meet up with her

-Chatted with OkCupid girl (call her Hulk) on Friday, who I've already slept with, and set up meet up for Sunday

-Options open with two other OkCupid girls, one of whom I've already slept with

-Girl I was seeing in July/August (call her Sun) is planning to meet up with me in Berlin next weekend

I only have 3.5 weeks left in Germany. Girl-wise I would feel 100% fufilled if I lay V and turn her into a fuck buddy that I see 1 or 2 times a week until I go. Cleo and Golden Pony girl are both beautiful, but personality-wise they don't excite me. I don't care if I never see either of them again. The three OkCupid girls are all meh. HB5 or 6s. Pretty faces, but not great bodies, which is what I care about more. I'd love to see Sun in Berlin. We had a really sweet thing going before she left to study abroad.

More important than girls though is getting my body healthy. Taking care of my back and putting present focus into my meditation and movement practices. It's all connected though. A great night of sex would definitely expedite the healing process. Sexual healing - Marvin Gaye - Kygo ft. V.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
And now an actually current update lol. Writing this right now, at 4:14pm Germany time on Wednesday, October 9th, 2019.

I saw Hulk on Sunday night. I drove 40 minutes in the rain each way to go to her place. Such an adventure. Almost flaked earlier in the day for a number of reasons, but I decided to hold true to my commitment. I want my word to be bond. Arrived at 8:30pm. She cooked for me, made a vegetable stir fry with rice. Actually was really tasty. We watched some playoff baseball together and I was explaining what was going on. She was really interested in it. Or she was really interested in me and was acting interested in learning more about baseball hahaha. She was really DTF, but my back was hurting, I had a full belly of food, and was just not feeling it. I left a little before midnight. This is why I want to be hanging out with HB8+s. Girls that bring out my masculinity now matter how beaten up I am.

Hulk sends me a voice message the next morning about how her university commitments on Tuesday and Wednesday have been cancelled and how she’s free to hangout those days and even offers to take the train to my town. I leave it up in the air until Tuesday evening and then tell her I’m just not feeling up for hanging out, maybe we can see each other when I’m back from Berlin. Ughhh, I am not feeling like my normal beast of a man because of my back, but I’ve already had sex with her and am not that attracted to her so I’m not very motivated to sleep with her again. As of now I haven’t had sex in 11 days. I haven’t FAPd or watched porn in 6 days. Maybe if those streaks creep higher my sexual drive will reach a point where I’ll hang out with her again. I feel a little bad that I don’t know how to communicate this to her and I feel like I’m stringing her along.

Okay so now V, the girl I’m incredibly drawn to for some reason. On Saturday after she flaked I sent V a nice voice message (she hadn’t heard my voice at all since we met at the party last Wednesday night) empathizing with her being ill, suggesting chicken noodle soup because that’s my go to sick food, and at the end I casually mention how I’m going to Berlin on Thursday (maybe a mistake looking back, but in the moment I was thinking this would seed a potential last minute planned meet up this week on Tuesday/Wednesday if she feels better because I would be leaving for 4 days beginning Thursday). Maybe sending the voice message was being too needy, going into chase mode/boyfriend mode trying to be a nice guy and empathize with her. The message was 36 seconds long. This was at 11:50am.

V replies with ‘soup’ plus the heart eyes emoji 2 minutes after I sent my message.

I saw the notification and didn’t even go into WhatsApp to read the message because I thought to myself, ‘I send you a nice, thoughtful, funny voice message and all you reply with is 1 word and an emoji?!’. I figured maybe she was genuinely feeling bad because she was sick and I decided to wait until the next day to message her back and hopefully catch her at a better time.

I don’t even read the message until the next day and reply at 6:45pm with a shorter, 9 second voice message asking how she’s doing and how the soup was. I also send text saying ‘Soup? plus smiling emoji’.

She plays the message 30 minutes later and doesn’t reply.

I don’t text her on Monday.

On Tuesday I send her a gif of Brad Pitt from Once Upon A Time in Hollywood removing his sunglasses because something he’s seen has caught his attention: This gif has gotten me a 3 for 3 reply rate so far. I also send text saying, ‘Hey V :)

She reads the message two minutes later and doesn’t reply. 3 for 4 now lol. Damn, I thought that would turn it around.

Now my plan is to message her from Berlin. Send her a picture of me at an iconic place and say ‘Greetings from Berlin V’

Luckily Sun is planning to come and spend the 2 nights with me in Berlin. I have an AirBnB that sleeps 4. I’m driving into Berlin with a teammate of mine. Sun and I plan to be his wingman/woman team for the weekend. Should be fun. Plus I’ll get to do some day game.

I’ve been meaning to do some day game this week while I’ve been off of work. There are a couple busy places near train stations in 200k people cities within 30 minutes of driving from my place. The weather has been absolute scheiße though, lots of rain. Tomorrow before I leave for Berlin I’ll do at least an hour of day game in a spot near my teammate’s home who I’m riding with to Berlin. Rain or shine.

I would post to the texting channel on this board about my situation with V, but I want to rely on my instincts here and get this lay myself.

I‘m in a good place. 6 days of noFAP/porn. Back is getting a bit better. Started a meditation journal on Monday and have a 3 day streak going of 15+ minutes of meditation. Had a meditation coaching call with a student yesterday, I still got my skills. I’ve taken notes on all of my Internet tabs and have closed them. Next task is chopping down the email inbox. Lots of playoff baseball to watch. Fun weekend trip planned. Making the most of my final 3 weeks in Germany.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
Going Through the Journeyman’s Guide Part 1

Why "Fun" is a Seduction Killer

Fun dates trigger:
-The Boyfriend Dilemma
-The Law or Least Effort
-Value Compensation

If you want to sleep with a woman quickly, keep things simple.

How to Get Girls: The Last Post You'll Ever Need

Damn it’s crazy how the Pete and Jerry story triggered me. I’ve been that guy sleeping with girls on the first date more than a handful of times now and I still get triggered. I’m triggered by the fact that a seemingly “better” guy can lose out only because of how expeditiously another guy moved. I’m probably triggered because I still identify more with the “better” guy and I probably value the wrong things when it comes to success with women. It also bothers me because I have worked fast and I’ve lost girls because I didn’t quite escalate during the right windows or I triggered buyer’s remorse. I have to work fast, but I also have to be calibrated and congruent.

And you must avoid the boyfriend designation (while still being a likeable enough guy).
This is a sticking point for me.

And not adhering to the law of least effort. I’m an athlete, I’ve grown up thinking that anything is possible if you work hard enough. Not with girls. Sometimes trying less nets more results. Same with releasing tension in the body and moving with freedom which is another one of my goals. Right effort, not try hard.

Moving Fast with Women

-Sparking conversations with statements of genuine interest
-Exchanging names right away
-Get to know her ASAP
-Move her ASAP (This one is huge. Think Ca seduction in BA, walked around block with her.)
-Get contact info fast
-Take her home within ~30mins or end the interaction within ~10mins
-Set up a date within days of meeting her
-Simplify your dates
-Invite her home
-Make a move and escalate physically (No girl is allowed to be alone with you at your place for more than 10mins without being kissed)

Avoiding the Nomination to Boyfriend Candidacy

-Be a sexy man
-Don’t be overly sympathetic
-Be humble and don’t try to be too impressive
-Actively disqualify yourself as a boyfriend
-Move fast

Gold from Secrets to Getting Girls: Natural Number Swapping:
let’s say you’ve met someone, and you’re having a great conversation. You’re learning cool new things, find this person intriguing, and you’re laughing. In the middle of all of this, your new friend says, “Hey, we’ve got to trade cells so we can keep in touch.”


The only thing that must be managed to an extent in this exchange is this: the moment after the number swap is a moment of uncertainty, that you must take charge of the moment to let women know that things are going to stay natural and OK in the conversation, and the phone number didn’t change anything. Make certain you manage it, and everything will go smoothly from there.
***Action step:***

Write down the names of the last 10 different girls you had dates with. Got ‘em? Now write down what you DID on those dates. We’re you fun? A real sweetheart? Or dripping with sensuality and that’s it?

Ro - Date 1 walk around city. Date 2 my place for the lay.
Ni - Date 1 walk in field. Date 2 baseball lesson and sunset. Date 3 my place language class and movie (broke the 10 minute rule). No lay.
Sh - Date 1 dinner and movie at my place for the lay.
Mi - Date 1 walk around lake and pizza restaurant dinner. Date 2 baseball lesson and then my place for the lay.
Sa - Date 1 walk around kaiser monument. No lay.
Al - Date 1 walk in park. Date 2 sunset and my place for the lay.
Li - Date 1 walk. 2, 3, 4 same-ish. Date 5 movie at her place. No lay, she’s a 29 year old hard core virgin.
Ce - Date 1 mate at my place for the lay
Cl - Date 1 movie at my place for the lay
Mic - Date 1 drinks at a bar and back to my place. No lay.

These dates have been from March until now. So dates with 10 new girls in 7 months.

Pretty good for moving fast. 3 first date lays and 3 second date lays. Ni is the only girl I wish I had moved faster with. Both on the 2nd and 3rd dates. Could have probably pulled on 2nd date instead of watching sunset. Could have escalated faster at my place on the 3rd date.

Those results are actually pretty solid, except that the quality of women is less than where I want it to be. Only 3 of those girls really excited me and could be considered HB7s or 8s. No 9s or 10s in the mix at all. Not yet at least ;)


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
I went to Berlin this past weekend and it was a super wild trip. I've been holed up in my small German town all summer focusing on my sport and hadn't made any weekend trips up until now. To me, exploring and partying in Berlin was a celebration of sorts and a bookend to a fantastic season in Germany.

This is an extremely long post. I wrote all of this up because it was a peak experience weekend for me. Staying out all night. Approaching tons of people and doing so naturally/seemlessly. To me the weekend was a social masterpiece. Highlighting how when you engage with people around you, exchanging positive energy, it can become an upward spiral that is a joyous journey for all parties involved. That's why I'm posting this to my journal here. It motivates me and maybe someone else reading it will be inspired to take more action approaching people with positive vibes.

On Thursday afternoon I drove over to my teammate's house (Br) and with the spare 20 minutes I had I drove a bit further and went into the town center by him to do at least one approach. I find a well located parking space on the street and walk over to the busier shopping streets. My sexual energy is popping. At this point I was at day #7 of noFAP/noPorn, which usually is when I really start noticing benefits. And it feels like I see more attractive girls when I'm out. Like they're drawn to my sexual energy/testosterone somehow. Magic. Or biology. Or magic.

It takes me only 1 block to see a cute girl walking towards me crossing the street. I'm undecided about the open, is she cute enough? I decide to go for it for the sake of time (had 10 minutes until I wanted to head back to Br's house). (1)

Me: Excuse me, do you speak English? (said in German)
Y: Yes a bit.
Me: Awesome, because you're beautiful and I just have to meet you.
Y: Thank you, but I'm really busy right now (Said with a conflicted look on her face, 50% enchanted by me, 50% she's in a rush)
Me: So we only have 30 seconds, or a minute, that's okay. What's you name?
Y: Y.
Me: Me. Tell her that's a pretty name and ask where it is from as I shake her hand
Y: She says it's Turkish, says she's mixed German/Turkish.
Me: So what are you actually up to right now?
Y: I'm buying something, then meeting up with a friend (my intuition told me it might be her BF)
Me: Her eyes were beautiful, light brown as the sun hit them. I say exactly that.
Y: She blushes and says she really is in a rush.
Me: I ask her if she has Instagram and say we should add each other.
Y: Pulls out phone and follows me.
Me: I tell her I play abseball and ask her what's one thing she likes to do.
Y: She says she really has to go.

We say goodbye, schon tag noch. I think she went into a cafe to buy something. Damn I should have just suggested I join her for a couple minutes from the start! CURRENT UPDATE. She accepted my follow request and replied to my initial message. She didn't reply to my reply so I've waited 3 days and sent her another message today.

After that interaction I keep walking in the direction I was going. Feeling good that I got one approach in. It had been over 3 weeks since I had done any day game.

I turned down a side street to get back to my car and saw a pretty woman smoking a cigarette (which I find extremely ugly) underneath a doorway. I go up and open with my standard English question (2). She says not much so I proceed in German. Ask her why she smokes, how long she has smoked, not really caring where the interaction goes and knowing I want to end it in a minute to go to my car. We exchange names (Gr), she's working (in uniform) and on a break. I ask her my classic, is this your dream job? I end the conversation by saying how she is beautiful, but I think smoking is ugly. I do this in half-jest though, not the beautiful part, I deliver that genuinely, but all the smoking comments are done faceitiously. Who am I to tell her to quit. She said she wanted to quit herself lol!

2 approaches in 10 minutes, both hooked. 1 IG close. Nice. Even though I messed up in the 1st one by not tagging along with Y for a couple minutes while she went to buy whatever she was planning to buy. I must push my interactions further.

I get to my car and drive back to Br's place. I park, put my bags for the weekend in his car and we head off. Our first stop is Hannover for the Kollegah concert. Bossrap. I find it hilarious that the ticket said the show started at 8pm and Kollegah literally began his set right at 8pm. That never happens in the USA, at least not for me when I've gone to rap concerts there. There is always an opening act or two that will eat up at least 2 hours of time before the main act takes the stage. It's also funny that people at this concert were not getting very into the music it seemed like. For half the songs I was jumping up and down, grooving to the beats and ghost rapping along with the lyrics. People next to me were standing motionless, with the occasional hand wave to the beat. Wtf is that? That kind of music gets me hyped and the only reason I go to a concert like that is to be even more hyped because it is live and I can feel the energy of the artist better. With so many phones out filing it, I felt like half the people there were only there to post to social media and pretend to feel cool. Lol.

After the concert almost everyone heads back to the entrance because apparently Kollegah will be there in a bit to sign autographs. Br and I linger by the stage a bit to avoid the mob. I open a cute girl with a big ass (kind of overweight so HB6 or 7) standing close by us who was holding a poster. Use my classic English line, sprechst du Englisch? (3) She does. I then notice a signature on the poster and say how she's waiting back here because she already got her poster sign. She replies yes with enthusiasm. She's with a friend too. I get both of their names and introduce myself. Br has hung back. The friend is really overweight and he wants no part of it lol. A guy friend of theirs comes back to them and I decide to eject and be a good friend to Br.

We walk towards the lobby and file in behind two blondes in the line to move from the main stage room into the lobby, which is packed with people. I can't remember what opener I exactly use (4), probably the Englisch one and begin to engage both of them. Ol and Ch. Both in mid 30s it looked like. Both HB7 at least despite their age. Br engages them as well, translating a bit for me and speaking to them in German. After 5 minutes, Olga mentions her husband. Oh now I remember, I opened them by asking if they knew of any good places to eat close to the concert venue. So that was the whole premise of the conversation. They didn't want to go eat anything, husband was picking them up I recall.

Br and I leave the venue. We walk past a couple dudes sitting on a bench, one of which I recognize because he was standing near us during the concert. He asks me if I have any amphetamines. I say, no all I got is tai chi energy :D lol.

We head to an intersection to cross the street. I see a guy holding three bottles of coca cola and I comment about how he'll be drinking lots of cuba libres tonight. He says nah, he'll be drinking Moscow Mules. Then he mentions he's heading over to a dinner to eat mussels, shellfish. Sounds delicious, I bid him a good night.

Br and I enter a doner shop. We look at the menu up on the wall. I'm a little overwhelmed by all the options, but I see two guys sitting down and one is biting into a burrito style doner. I go up to him and ask him which number that is on the menu. He says 13 and also says I have to ask them to add white cheese to it like he does. Figures out I'm from the United States and seems really interested in talking to me more. I'm hungry and want to order though, I'm all for his order recommendation. Br and I order and recieve our food. We sit at the table next to the guy who gave me the recommendation. Br tells me the guy invited us to a bar he owns that he was heading to afterwards and that we could have a couple free drinks there. The concert ended much earlier than I expected (shortly after 10pm at that point) so I was very keen on accepting the invitation.

Br drives the 4 of us (myself plus the two doner guys Ni and Ca) over to the bar. What a classy place. Looks like a restored library they put a bar into. They had some Indian looking guy from Singapore mixing drinks behind the bar. It's 9 of us in there including Br and I. Only one girl and she seemed to be with another guy. I didn't say a single word with her even though we gave each other some strong eye contact. I was only enjoying being in the space (grooving to the latin reggaeton they had blasting). It's quite cool to have met the owner of a bar and to get invited back to it. Apparently they had finished renovating the space only a few weeks prior and were now trying to get the word out about it to as many people as possible. I knew it wasn't my 'coolness' that got us invited! The guy was hoping we could tell people about it and post stories to Instagram lol. Was definitely a unique, hip, place. Leinery Lounge. Hit it up if you're ever in Hannover.

At about 11:30pm Br and I decide to bounce and begin our journey to Berlin. Hannover was about halfway so we still had 3 hours to drive. Fortunately at night in Germany many parts of the highways don't have a speed limit. Br went forth with great haste. He definitely hit over 120mph, maybe even 140mph. We arrive shortly after 2 and park on the street near to the AirBnb I booked for Friday and Saturday nights. This night we planned to pull an all nighter out at the clubs. Our destination was Sage Club, a punk/rock club only open on Thursday nights. I figured if it was only open on Thursdays then it must be one of the places to go on a Thursday.

After a cab ride we get to the club. The cab drops us off right before the intersection where the club is. We are caddy corner to the club so we have to cross two streets. We cross the one and on the other side are two pretty blonde girls. I open with the English line (5). One girl doesn't even reply back in German, she's speaking Polish or Russian. I think she understands what I'm saying to her in English so she's tooling me. Her friend is a few meters away tapping away writing on her phone. I go up to her while Br engages the Pole and I say how it looks like she's doing something really important. She says that's right and after a moment proceeds to take her and her friend accross the street and they try to enter the U-bahn station even though it is closed. I think they were leaving the club and heading somewhere else. Didn't really give me the time of day. I guess I could have been a bit more dominant and a bit less reactive when the girl tooled me by not speaking English or German.

At the other corner is the club entrance. Outside of it are a person begging for money and a couple groups. I go up to the group with the cutest girl in it (6)(like 6 people in the group) and ask them how the club is right now. We chat a bit about the club. Br is skeptical of it, not really his scene based on the dress of the people outside of it. I'm all for it, doesn't seem like a place I've ever been before so I want to check it out. Some eye contact with the cute girl in the group and maybe an indirect comment or two. Was pretty evident they were leaving and going to their respective homes, not up for something more and I wanted to check out the club so I ejected and wished them a restful rest of the night.

In the club, Br and I enter the 2nd main dancing area and I almost immediately make eye contact with a semi-cute girl. Was dancing in a closed circle with 4 or 5 other people and I wanted to get my bearings with Br before doing any approaches so I didn't approach her. First approach, if you can call it that, within the club was a girl giving me her friend's snapback hat. I put it on my head and then the girl whose hat it was comes up all flirty to me, dancing (7). She teases me for a few seconds and then quickly snatches the hat off my head. Well I walked right into that one. Goodness I should've been more of a challenge, teasing her with the hat. She was dancing with the same guy the entire night so it seemed her and her friend were there with their boyfriends who were stuck to their sides the entire time (3+ hours in the club).

This club was really cool. I highly recommend checking out Sage club if you're ever in Berlin. Particularly if you like rock music and pictures of Jesus orgies on the walls lol. In the big dance area there were probably 50 people when I first arrived at the club shortly after 3am. There was also another area with two rooms, couches to sit on, and at the end of it the coat check. On top of that there was a room with a swimming pool, but that was closed for the evening. Very unique layout and use of space in there. I liked it. The first 15-20 minutes Br and I spent our time around the dance area. My next approach of the night was going up to this mid-30s looking goth lady (8) who seemed to be somewhat enjoying the music all by herself. I offer her my hand while making strong eye contact, she shakes her head to decline it. This was funny because over the next 2.5+ hours, and after dancing with other girls, I came back to her three more time and offered her my hand. Both times no again, but each time a bigger smile on her face lol. It became an inside joke between us.

After checking our jackets at like 3:30am, Br and I are walking back to the dance area through the two room area and I feel a girl’s eyes on me from behind. I turn my head and lock eyes with a girl, give her a bit of a smile, and she completely lights up. I turn back and take another step, then realize I HAVE to approach this girl who gave me one of the strongest approach invitations of all time. I open her (Ce)(9) and her friend (An) standing next to her. Solid HB7 with some curves. Very exotic looking, pale skin, jet black hair, all black clothing. Later found out her eyes were bright blue, though I couldn't tell given the lighting in the club. Br stands off to the side a bit. He jumps into the set after a couple minutes and actually wings me really well. He is not aware of the PUA/seduction/success with women world, but is okay with women himself. Decent guy to have out with you at a club. He engages An even though she is not very pretty. Ce is giving me huge IOIs, touching me, telling me I'm the hottest guy she has ever seen lol. After 5 minutes I move her to a sofa across the room, just her and I, though we can still see Br and An across from us. Somewhat isolated her I guess?

Ce and I talk for what feels like 10 minutes. Trying to deep dive. I feel like we are in no way compatible relationship-wise. I think she feels this too. We're very attracted to each other though. I start going in for a kiss and she leans in, but I pull back because I remember her friend is right across from us and maybe we'll get judged for this (even though Berlin is a city of very little judgement!!!). She shit tests me saying I just like her because I'm horny. I don't think I did a good job with this, reacted with something like denying it and trying to find something meaningful I could tell her I like about her besides her looks. I think this hurt the frame of us being lovers who felt a burning passion to be with each other that night regardless of longer term compatibility. She hears some song in the dance area, immediately makes eye contact with An and jumps up and goes with her to the dance floor.

Br and I make eye contact and shrug our shoulders. We wait a few minutes and go into the dance area. I don't immediately go towards Ce and An, who are now with a guy (St, just a friend). When Br and I do make it to them, An immediately recieves Br and they dance together a bit, but Ce seems cold to me. A song passes and I'm just grooving to the music. A couple songs later something flips in Ce and she's in my arms again swooning. I guess maybe this was a bigger shit test because I failed one shortly before she suddenly headed to the dancefloor?

Now the 5 of us are a bit of a group. Doesn't look like I'll be able to isolate Ce again, though she does seem into me. We talk, we dance, they decide to leave at like 4:30am. She lives with her mom and I don't have a place to stay for the night. Doesn't look like there will be an after party anywhere lol. We exchange numbers.

At this point the club crowd has thinned. Still solid music playing, but not many girls there worth approaching and the few that are seemed to be deep in sets. I haven't been out at night very often over the past couple of years (1 time a month at max) and it shows in these settings. I can snipe lone girls or pairs decently enough, but I don't have the courage to barge into group mixed sets and steal the show. I was also completely sober in the club, which may have impacted my ballsyness too.

I was supposed to be the wingman for Br on this night, but he does not like the vibes of anyone really in the club. Kind of narrow minded guy. I wish he had wanted to approach people because we could have fed off each other. Instead it was me having to build up my own courage to approach once Ce, An, and St left. An opportunity appeared in the 2 room area when I saw a beautiful girl sitting by herself. Pounced. Turned out she was from New York (10), but was married and her husband came back from the bathroom a couple minutes later. Seemed like a cool guy and casually whisked her away from me and back to the dancefloor.

The dancefloor was thinning out, but two cute blonde girls were still grooving. They had a couple other guys around them, dunno if they were a group of 6 (3 guys, 3 girls) or who knew who. Kind of hard to do reconnosance like that on the dancefloor lol. The two blonde girls definitely seemed to be dancing more on their own though. I offer my hand to one of them as I'm dancing, intending to give her a spin. (That is my only dancefloor game hahaha, I am so out of touch with this side of game since graduating college in 2015). She shakes her head, declines, and I stay unreactive continuing to enjoy my own dance moves.

Br and I were going in and out of the dance area depending on if we liked the song that was playing. Bad song, back to a couch in the lounge area. Good song, back to dancing the night away. Now it is almost 6am and we're sitting on a couch, Br is actually in the bathroom. One of the blonde girls from the dancefloor, not the one who turned me down, heads over to the coat check. After a few minutes she walks back the way she came, now facing me as I'm laying down. We make eye contact and I get up and stop her in her tracks with my opener (11). It hooks and we chat for a couple minutes. Her friend who turned me down appears and wonders what is taking her so long with the coats. Doesn't seem too happy to see her with me lol. Maria who I opened and Martina who decline me on the dancefloor. Mar is staying over at Mart's house and is already sleeping on a sofa there. No extra beds for me :(. I think I tried to # or Instagram close, though I'm not sure. Can't quite remember how our farewell played out 100%, though I do remember she gave me a nice hug.

Br and I leave the club 10 minutes after they do. I guess I should have asked them if they'd be willing to wait for me to get my coat and we could head out of the club together, maybe grab some food. I don't. So much room for improvement with night game. I am impressed with how far I've come with sober game and how social I can be. I'll be sticking to day game for the forseeable future though. Br and I walk towards the city center and find a cafe where he can use the restroom. I order a coffee, knowing I plan to stay up until we check into our AirBnb at 2pm. While ordering I notice a woman next to me and say out loud how I wasn't hungry until I came in here and saw all the delicious food. She smiles at me. Older in her late 30s and not attractive so I didn't bother pushing it further.

The sun starts to rise and we make our way towards the Brandenburger Tor. Shortly after passing the Concert hall, I see a blonde girl walking towards us half a block away from back where we came. As she gets closer I notice she has a very curvy figure. I'm like, I don't care what her face looks like, I have to meet her. She turns at the intersection we just crossed so I end up walking/jogging to catch up with her. It takes me a block to do so and I think my approach may have triggered a little apprehension because she was walking fast and I couldn’t quite anticpate where she was going as she approached another intersection + trouble pacing her. I do catch up (12). Drop my English line. Then say how she's beautiful. Looks to be in early to mid 30s, pretty face, 10/10 body. HB9. I reached her right at the door of her work though :( She says she has to start her day. I'm not quick witted enough to ask if she has a lunch break or something and maybe we could meet up then and she could show me a cool cafe or take me to a nice plaza. Damn that could have worked!

We exchange names, she is Sa and I wish her a nice day, reemphasizing her beauty. I wish I could have some more genuine and unique compliments pop into my head on the spot. This was the kind of woman that people fight wars over (especially back when she was in her 20s) and cross oceans for and paint masterpieces for and develop themselves to their highest potential for. Writing this right now stirs up those feelings of longing. For the feminine essence to complement my masculine being. An aphrodite on the streets of Berlin. I'm here on this site to learn how to bed this kind of woman, to learn how to ravish this woman, and make her mine.

I part with Br at the Brandenburger Tor. I have a doctor's appointment (chest x-ray for my visa to New Zealand) I'm going to walk to and he is going to head back to his car to get some sleep. I walk down the Juni 17 street to the Siegessäule, which was a really beautiful walk at 9am in the morning. A police van was slowly driving on the shoulder right in line with me for a good chunk of the walk. I don't know whether they were checking up on me or with other groups of young adults that came out of the park periodically. Strange. At the Siegessäule circle (großer stern) I'm waiting for the light to change and notice a pretty girl on a bike on the other side of the street. She doesn't look curvy and I've never approached a girl on a bike before and I freeze up as she passed me despite us making eye contact and her giving me a smile. That was a missed opportunity for sure.

I continue on my way to the doctor's office. I pass a lot of police vans outside of a set of buildings with a lot of Nordic flags around (now I know this to be the Nordic countries' embassies lol). There was a protest going on about Norway's CO2 emissions and how they lie about it or something. I ask a guy who looked like an undercover cop about why there were so many cops. He mentions how this particular org has been known to get a bit violent in the past. We make small talk about how it'd be nice if protests could stay peaceful and then it'd be less work for police officers. He agreed. I asked if he knew where the Fridays for Future protest was going on that day in the city. He didn't know, thought there were multiple spots probably. I wish him the best and an uneventful day and keep walking to the doctor's office.

I cross a street and see a big Steinway & Sons sign atop a store. I know I have about 2 hours before my appointment so I think to myself, 'hell yes I want to play some piano!'. As I cross the street I notice a woman with a sky blue peacoat who exited the apartment building right next the store. She and I cross the street at the same time about 30 feet from each other, going opposite directions. I call out to her (13), getting her attention, walk closer and ask if she speaks English. She doesn't speak much and mentions how she isn't German either. Turns out she's Polish. She seems to be in a rush so I ask if I can walk with her for a couple minutes. She's heading to an appointment where she'll become a legal German resident. She reaches the intersection before all the police vehicles and I decide the interaction isn't going anywhere special so I eject and head back to the piano shop.

Wow you get such interesting windows into peoples' lives when you take the initiative to approach and start a conversation. Really this whole day since the first approach before leaving for Hannover has been one huge social experiment. More approaches than the past couple of months combined. Lots of fun shedding social inhibition and simply waving out an olive branch to connect with people

There are a couple people outside of the Steinway & Sons store (best pianos in the world maybe?) and I engage them to ask about playing one of the pianos for a few minutes. A man in his late 20s it looked like looks at me with a condescening look, like he's screening me, seeing if I'm someone they want to let into their store. I know at this point my eyes are kind of bloodshot from having contacts in for about 24 hours straight plus not sleeping. I look a little crazy probably lol. Doesn't help my approaches with women either. The guy tells me I can rent the practice room for 10 euros an hour, but that they don't open for another 30 minutes. I'm like cool, maybe I'll come back after my doctor's appointment.

I make it to the appointment and chat up the receptionists, lots of strong eye contact and playfulness with my words. She returns the flirty vibe. There's room for me to get seen early. In the waiting room for the x-ray there is an absolute beauty (thin body though) with a person who seems to be her Mom. She came in after me and there was an open seat next to her that I supposed I could have moved to for opening her, but I didn't force the opportunity. When you're in full on day game mode, it's mindblowing how many opportunities there are to open attractive women. Now, some of these opportunities are probably pretty small, without much margin for error, with lots of social pressure, and on the other end of the spectrum you have girls giving you massive approach invitations and you having to be a complete idiot to miss the opportunity. I believe this waiting room opportunity fell on the more challenging side of the spectrum.

I get my x-ray and all the post-visit forms filled out. When I'm ready to leave, the beauty is gone from the waiting room. A missed opportunity for eternity. I walk back to the Steinway store. I see multiple curvy girls on my way, but they are all with a guy or with older people who seem to be their parents. More opportunities on the challenging end of the spectrum and in the moment I'm not up to the challenge. I get to the piano shop and talk to the owner in the office. He says the practice room is totally booked for the day, but that I can play the pianos in the showroom a little bit. I thank him for this and start jamming out. Man, I am so kinestetic, my hands rememeber so much even after months without playing.

Earlier that morning I messaged Ce from the Sage club:

Me @ 8:06 - I can't stop thinking about this demon girl named Ce that I met. Help me!
Ce @ 11:11 - You're so cute! The cutest human I met so far. Rosey cheeked smile emoji
Me @ 11:16 - Picture of Steinway store + Meet me here and let's play a duet + Actual location
Ce @ 11:20 - Wow you can play the piano?! Puppy eyes emoji
Me @ 11:23 - Only one way for you to find out + Winking face emoji
Ce @ 14:10 - I would love t! But I need to do some stuff for work + Streams of tears emoji
Me @ 18:06 - Streams of tears emoji

I replied so quickly because I knew if I didn't see her before 2pm and my AirBnB check-in, I wasn't going to see her for the weekend with SUN arriving at 7pm. Anyway...

I take the U Bahn to Potsdamer Platz, wanting to explore a bit and make a few more approaches. There's an interesting sculpture of 3 large people seated in Tilla-Durieux Park. There's also a mall I head into because that should be a great place to meet beautiful women! Some pretty good looking women, but no stunners like Sa from earlier. Bummer. I do see a blonde walking towards me, she’s pretty, not very curvy though, smoking, I can playfully tease her about that. I turn around after she passes me (no eye contact) and catch up for the approach (14). She hooks. We exchange names. I ask for a recommendation for a cool site to see or restaurant to eat at. I think she gives some lame typical answer. Oh well. Ines was her name. I invite her to check out a sculpture a block away with me. She declines, she was heading back to work after her lunch break.

I found a store with some postcards and was checking them out. I see a somewhat pregnant lady with a sexy leopard dress on enter the store, looking around. I'm conflicted, I've never approached a pregant lady before though she looked like she was in her early 30s, quite fit with a beautiful face. She leaves as I'm asking the cashier to translate something for me. I could’ve gotten her to translate! Another missed opportunity. I leave the store after buying a couple cards and initially am looking for the leopard dress woman. I don't find her. I see other iffy approach opportunities. The way I look at it is that the more attractive a woman is, the more challenge I'm willing to accept in the approach opportunity. I'm not going to jump through hoops for an HB6. An HB9 or 10, I will do a manned mission to Mars for. Maybe this is part of my problem with game. I'm willing to give more effort for more beautiful women instead of treating them like a regular girl. Idk, if I can properly convey the inspiration I feel when I meet someone truly feminen and radiant maybe that is the best play. Depends on whether it is done from a place of neediness or abundance.

I go back to Potsdamer Platz and again see some opportunities. None of them really excite me. I do offer to take photos for these two girls who were taking each other's photos (15) and they take me up on the offer. They're not THAT cute though so I don't push the interaction further by asking where they're from or anything. I wanted to meet an American girl I could talk up Br for. Didn't happen. I go to this Chinese/Taoist looking hut I had passed earlier, Pavillon der Einheit, and complete a round of Tai Chi by it. Definitely had quite a few people look at me as they passed. I love it :) I don't make any more approaches and end up making my way to the AirBnB reservation.

I finally take off my contacts and sleep for 2 hours. It would have been more, but I was pissed at what I thought was a misleading listing on AirBnb. I thought there would be 2 sleeping rooms, that Sun and I would have a room to ourself. Instead, there ended up being only a common sleeping area with a single bed and a double bed. Looks like Sun and I would share a bed with Br right next to us. Gtfo. I was more angry than I had been in months lol. The last super angry moment I had like this was when for the 3rd or 4th time during a game I was pitching in I saw our asshole Italian import player on his phone, swiping on tinder. I was about to head out to start an inning, just gave him a death stare, and then proceeded to pitch one of the most ferocious innings of my life. The airbnb situation drummed up a similar level of angry, however, I'm sure my lack of sleep compounded to make matters worse than they really were hahaha.

That night we head out to meet a German ex-roomate (Ph) of mine when I was living in Buenos Aires. Now it's Sun, Br, Ph, and I. At some point in the first bar I engage with a couple sitting next to us. We head to get pizza. I ask one of the workers about the song on the speakers. We meet some of Ph's friends outside. 4 of them. We all head to another bar. Meet up with 6 other people. Such a social night. Sun tells me how she's so impressed at how I can just talk to people. I've come a long way from who I was at 18, 19, 20, 21 before game. Her giving me that compliment was so gratifying for me.

At the end of the night, Br leading us to a club that was closed because of construction and his intoxication leads me to take over the reins and guide us home. We get off the U Bahn and head to a bus stop that will take us to our AirBnb. What do you know? There is a beautiful blonde girl sitting at the stop, about to light up a cigarette (seems to be a sub-theme of this trip lol). I open her, English opener again, and inquire about the cigarette. Her name is Se (16). Br sits down 2 seats from her and he's very drunk, but I was hoping he would get his shit together to possibly go home with her at least for a little bit so Sun and I could be alone in the AirBnb together. After a couple minutes hooking her and leading her to engage Br more, Sun and I move outside of the glass busstop area and sit with each other to give Br and Se some time 1 on 1. Maybe this was a bad move? No, not if your buddy is on his game.

We get on the bus and Se sits by herself and Br doesn't even protest or suggest she sit in the open seat next to him. Smh, broooooo, come on I set that up for you on a tee lol. I re-engage Se and ask her what she's reading on her phone. Br is almost sleeping at this point. No chance.

Friday ends, or Saturday morning. We all wake up at about 12pm. Sun goes off to do her own thing. Br and I go grab coffee and head to a park where I can meditate/stretch/do tai chi a bit. Sights to see today include Checkpoint Charlie, Denkmal for the Book Burning, and Mauer Park. Br and I don't leave to see those sights until 4:30pm. This is where it got fun socially again.

I was taking a panaorama photo at Checkpoint Charlie and this dude intentionally gets in my way. Tells me Harper is cooler (apparently the Soviet and American solider photos watching the respective sides have names?). I'm like Bryce Harper? Dude is Lithuanian and is talking shit about Europe, saying how the USA is more fun. I'm like why are you even here talking to me then. He looked out of it, said how he needed to check-in to his hostel and rest up after probably noticing (took him much too long) that I was uninterested in the interaction.

I call a restaurant I looked up that might be playing the Washington Nationals playoff game later this evening. The guy I talk to says no, they won't show it, but maybe a place called Murphy's by Checkpoint Charlie will. Conveniently I am at Checkpoint Charlie! I'm literally right in the main intersection of the Checkpoint, focused on finding Murphy's and Br is telling me I'm a weird dude for not even caring I'm in Checkpoint Charlie, to which I tell him I'm on another mission. I see Murphy's and walk towards it. See a girl with a thin-ish waist and massive hips sitting down with a friend. Ohhhhhh that could have been an approach. Set up a reservation at Murphy's and they're going to put the baseball game on just for us.

At Checkpoint Charlie there are so many tourists and approachable people! Goodness it's a day game hot spot! Br doesn't want to open a woman I point out to him. Dude is just way too socially conditioned and scared of failure. Br and I continue walking towards Bebelsplatz and the Book Burning Denkmal (Rememberence Place). A group of women ride by on scooters and I play red light/green light with them because they seem hesistant to cross the street lol. A block later one of them is straggling, has to find another Lime scooter because her's broke. I chat her up a bit (17), she's not very pretty so I don't push the interaction.

I stop in a sourvenour store I see and check out the postcards. I make strong eye contact with a girl in the store as I walk to the checkout line. 15 seconds later she's behind me checking out. I ask her what she's getting. A pack of mints in a container with Nixon and some Communist making out. We talk for a few minutes, Br waiting outside. She comes outside with me and I tell her about the baseball game we're going to watch later (she's from the Netherlands where the baseball is quite good and very popular relative to the rest of Europe). Her name is Marl (18). She and I exchange IGs and she heads back into the store to get back to the people she was with.

Br and I keep walking. I see a gorgeous woman in her mid to late 30s walk out of her apartment with a black lab looking dog. I say somewhat loudly 'Nice dog' in German and she turns and smiles and the dog is super friendly towards me. We walk with her a minute until she enters the post office. She is from Seattle and her name is Mal (19). I comment how she has a big dog for city life. She mentions how she lives in a big apartment with her husband. Ohhh and we were in a super nice area. That apartment must have been lit! A fun short interaction. At this point Br must have been like, 'Dude! Quit talking to people!' lol.

We arrive in Bebelplatz and I actually pass the Denkmal without noticing it. Thinking back there was a crowd of 10 or 20 people around something in the middle of the plaza, but I thought there would be a sign to designate it or something. After a couple moments of confusion, I find the Denkmal and spend some time looking down into it, empty white shelves below ground. Focusing on my breath. Appreciating where I am and the moment. I notice a blonde and a brunette girl, barely 18 maybe, goofing around and giggling. I make eye contact with the blonde one and she smiles big at me. I return my gaze to the memorial of the book burning event.

The brunette girl is quite pretty and she and I make eye contact briefly 2 times. She seems more shy than the other one. They begin talking so I can hear it, in English. I laugh out loud at them. The blonde girl calls the other one a stupid girl in a strong Eastern european accent. I say something like, what have you done to deserve that to the brunette girl (20). The blonde is 15, the brunnette is 16 and named Na. Put them in the minors until they're ready to get called up to the show ;) The blonde girl asks if I have an IG account. I say I do. She realizes she doesn't have an internet connection so she pulls out a pen and paper and asks me to write my account handle on it. I oblige. A few hours later I notice both of them have followed me and the blonde girl has liked all 90 of my posts. I guess I created a mini fan club lol. During my interaction with them Br was waiting off like 100 feet away (maybe I'm a jerk for keeping him waiting like this always). The parents of the girls were 100 feet away on the other side of the plaza. I wonder if the parents knew what was going down.

After visiting Mauer park, Br and I head to a burrito restaurant, Berlin Burrito Company. I'm itching for some good Latin food. I have been craving it all summer long. At an intersection I notice I'm standing next to a pretty woman in her early 30s probably who is nodding along to some song with a smile on her face. I wave at her and get her attention, motioning to my ears for her to take out an earbud. I think I ask in German about what song she's listening to, she shows me and we proceed to have a conversation (21). Br actually joins in this time and actually talks more than I do. Her name was Nata and she must have been enjoying her interaction with us because she walked more than 100 meters past her flat to keep the conversation going with us before turning around and saying farewell.

Sun meets us at the Burrito place and the night continues. I won't get into the dynamics of Sun/I at the club we went to that night with Br there with us. That conversation is for another time. For now all I can say is that it really really surprised me at how bothered I was when Br or any guy touched Sun at all, even in a friendly way. Definitely worth unpacking in detail at some point. Whether I was being needy or whether a certain amount of lion like protection is a good thing, and what’s the difference between the two?

Final note. In a crowded U bahn station heading back to Checkpoint Charlie to watch Game 2 of the NLCS between the Nationals and the Cardinals, I pull out a burlap throwing sock with a baseball inside that I have that I can attach to my arm and throw into. I was throwing a little bit in this station and Br filmed me. I was totally in my own world, blissfully enjoying what I love to do, without any concern for whether other people were watching me or judging me. That is the the full freedom state that we all strive for in our lives. Living without inhibitions. Living in flow. Living in love.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
Re: Game Alchemy: Girls, Cash, and Ballin

I began a meditation journal on October 7th. Since then I’ve...
-practiced standing meditation for 10+ minutes 12 out of 15 days
-practiced standing meditation for 15+ minutes 10 out of 15 days

Also, 18 days and counting of noFAP/noPorn.

Still a lot of improvement with my screen usage, consuming rather than creating, being spoon fed English versus challenging myself with German content.

Lots of room for improvement with setting time aside for stretching and somatic movement practices.

Game has been on point. 10+ day game approaches in Berlin. 2 fun sexy nights with Sun. Since returning to my small town, 4 day game approaches. 1 number close that turned into a meet up this past Saturday (call her Bach because she was listening to Bach when I opened her lol). Meet up #2 planned for Thursday evening. Had a 2nd meet up with a girl from OkCupid (Sa from my Journeyman‘s Guide Part 1 post). Got the lay, #10 for the year. Totally meh though. She was okay looking and pretty interesting, but there were no sparks (despite listening to Spark‘s Fly by Taylor Swift at one point hahaha). That’s why I’m on this site. To bed better women who I actually feel something for. The excitement, the uncontrollable desire and dripping lust. Women I pop boners for while momentarily thinking about them.

Sa asked me how many girls I’ve slept with while we were pillow talking post-sex together. My first response was that they’ve all been women, all over 18 lol. Then I said more than 10 and less than 100. She replied it was really sad that I’ve never loved any of them, because she had asked me earlier whether I ever had sex with somebody I loved and my answer was no. I agree, that is pretty sad when I stop and think about it. Any other guys out there have lay counts over 50 without ever loving anybody?

I went out with two teammates and one of their girlfriends on Saturday evening. I was sober the entire night, intentionally. Wow it was such a social, outgoing night. Made 9 approaches of mostly mixed sets. All but one hooked and that was with a girl on the dance floor of a club (my night club game is probably the weakest part of my game). A couple sets were leaving for somewhere and one set was two 17 year olds so I didn’t bother asking for contact info. Still got 2 IGs and one # from all those approaches. Plus I met 2 women who ended up accompanying us to another bar where we played table fußball. Our two groups combined and it ended up being 10 of us together at the 2nd bar.

By the time our original group of 4 (Lo, Le and his gf La) made it to the club, M, we had gone out in the first place for (throwing an 80s party, walk like an Egyptian), my social momentum was at full throttle. I actually got out of state in the club. Not used to the setting plus my back was hurting from my injury deadlifting 2.5 weeks ago that I re-tweaked picking up Bach multiple times earlier in the day. I ended up taking two walks down the street like 500m to another club, KK, to see who I could find outside (and make some sniper approaches). None of that panned out, though the walking made my back feel a lot better and taking deep breaths of the fresh night air renewed my energy. Also, *embarassing*, I had seen on Facebook that V, who I met while blacked out at a dance party at the beginning of this month, had listed herself as interested for the 80s party at M. In the back of my mind I hoped that perhaps I would run into her miraculously on the streets because she was not at M. Like I said, *embarassing*.

Anyway, at the end of our night (a bit past 2:30am), our group of 4 gets hungry. We head to a döner place, but before we go, I open two women in their 30s, one of which Lo had his eye on earlier. He thought she was 24 (he is 19), but turns out she was 34, which I gave him shit for because it exemplified his 19 year old lack of life experience lol. Lo and I get caught up in conversation with them and Le/La head to grab food. After 5 minutes I decide Lo has no shot with the woman he’s interested in (I can improve a lot with turning down my game/value when helping out a buddy who isn’t as high value as me). We eject and head in the direction Le/La went to get food as well. When we get to the place Le/La found, it’s closed LOL.

I know of an intersection two blocks away with a McDonalds and a kiosk. Lo loves the idea of McDonalds. I tear him a new asshole because I loathe McDonalds. I tell him how he can put whatever garbage he wants into his body, it’s his body. However, the damage McDonald‘s does to the world/exploiting people is carnage that he is responsible for by financially supporting McDonalds. I then go off on a tangent saying how I am barely any better because I eat meat and the meat I buy is definitely not sustainable for the world. So I was aware of my hypocrisy and was berating him in a partially tongue and cheek manner.

Lo goes into the McDs to order. I go into a kiosk across the street to see what food they have there (kiosk game in Germany is disappointingly weak compared to 7/11s and CVSs in the US hahaha). They have nothing remotely healthy. The cashier is on the phone ordering döner though. I ask if he can order me something. He shakes his head, but after he hangs up he does tell me about a place further down the street that sells pizza brötchen. I only have 10 minutes to make it because it closes at 3am and now it is 2:50am. I call Lo to let him know where I’m going and pass the McDs on my way to the spot the kiosk cashier recommended. I see Lo through the window and also notice a promising blonde babe sitting by herself in there. Screw a phone conversation, Lo was drunk enough to warrant speaking to him in person anyway. The blonde made the decision to go inside the McDs easy. I see what’s up with Lo, who’s waiting for his food, and make eye contact with the blonde. She is gorgeous. Good lord. It looks like she’s waiting on somebody (turns out a girl friend of her‘s and me to make my approach ;). I’m scanning the place to see if there’s a boyfriend around. Just approach her man!

I ask if she speaks English. She‘s iffy. I then ask if she’s waiting on somebody. There’s definitely a bit of a language barrier between us. I’m doing my best to throw in German when it looks like she doesn’t understand. Somehow she hooks and I sit down next to her. We exchange names. Let’s call her Glimmer. There is light touch. She has a bandaid on one of her fingers. She is stunningly beautiful up close. Ironic that I’m meeting her in a greasy cess pool of the developed world. I ignore that. I basically just channel the inspiration I’m feeling from her beauty to charge her with my masculinity. It‘s working. Lo sits down after a couple minutes at an adjacent table where he is half way in the set. Glimmer’s friend sits down next to her (we’re in a horseshoe shaped booth) after another couple of minutes. I flirt with the friend, give her relevant compliments, and win her over. Glimmer and I follow each other on IG.

At a high point in the interaction Lo gets a call from Le who has been outside on the street closer to the club with La and is cold/angry because Lo and I have been taking so long. Glimmer asks me how much longer I’m staying in Germany (only 12 days) and I say long enough for her to break my heart. Lo and I say farewell to the two of them. I was with her for around 10 minutes, though it felt timeless. I blow Glimmer a kiss over my shoulder. Goodness I wish I had that interaction on camera. I feel like it was a glimpse of my best/sexiest self. Put that in a bottle and figure out how to duplicate it.

I sent Glimmer a DM on Sunday evening. After 3 messages back and forth I grab her #. Today we set up plans for Wednesday evening. Which brings me to one of my sticking points...

She gives me her # at 10:15pm. I message her on WhatsApp at 10:20pm. That was a bit quicker than our IG messages which were every 10/15 minutes. The thing was, I started a video chat with a friend right after I sent her the initial WhatsApp message. Literally a minute later I feel the vibrating buzz notification. I immensely dislike checking my phone or multitasking at all when I’m conversing with someone, both in real life and on video chat. 15 minutes into the video chat I let my friend know I want to send out a message and we pause the chat. I reply to Glimmer and because it’s now 10:40pm I turn off my phone plus I don’t want to be texting any more this late and I want Glimmer to be the last one to send a message on the night. The video chat was really good, got a lot of catching up in and got to preach to my friend about the #YangGang, which was received very well. So looking back, turning off the phone was definitely worth it.

That didn’t seem to be the case this morning. I turn on my phone an hour into work at 10am. I see Glimmer sent me some sweet messages 10 minutes after my reply to her last night. At 10:30am I reply. I see only 1 check mark show up. I literally check my phone every 10 minutes just to see if the message was delivered. Every time I don‘t see the 2nd check mark I begin to think more and more that she blocked me because of auto-rejection or some other crazy rationalization my spiraling brain comes up with. I don’t even know. This is ridiculous. I’m better than this. I am supposed to focus on the present moment, letting go of unhelpful thoughts. Tune into my breath. Tune into my body. Breathe deeply. Breathe more slowly. Everything is good bro. Okay, I’m making the whole situation out to be more dramatic than it actually was. But I was beginning to have those anxious thoughts about her blocking me, that I’d never hear from her again like V. I even gave my co-worker a brief summary of the situation and he says ‘she’s gone man‘ with seriousness. When I see that 2nd check mark at 1:15pm I am ecstatic on the inside. When she finally gets around to replying to me at 4:15pm, I briefly feel like I’m in utopia. What is wrong with me?

Dramatic takes aside, I do think I’m prone to anxious thinking/rumination and my consistent meditation practice (along with other things like exercise, spending time in nature, getting sun, keeping in touch with family/friends, sleeping enough, positive music, and practicing gratitude) is what keeps the anxiety at bay 99% of the time.

I do want to know: is it possible to be excited about a girl, without becoming needy/attached to the outcome?

I feel like I only know two options. The girls who I don’t care about and can bed with ease. The girls that leave me in awe and always seem to slip out of my grasp. There has to be a middle way.

Here’s to finding that middle way or allowIng the middle way to find you.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
An accountability partner I have made good on his goals over the weekend and it inspired me.

Here is a briefer update about life as is:

noFAP/noPorn: I’m at 25 days right now and am feeling like a champ about it. It’s been a particularly social month for me, a combination of not being able to do my normal baseball workouts because of my back injury and because of wanting to get my last taste of German culture/people before I leave on the 31st. Lots of farewells this week. I guess there has been a silver lining to my back injury after all.

I was struggling all throughout my 6 months in Germany on the girls side of things. Relied heavily on online dating to get a few lays. Met a girl on the street two Thursdays ago and we slept together this past weekend. It reminded me of how easy/smoothly things can go sometimes. Idk what it is exactly, some combination of noFAP/consistent meditation/social momentum/placebo effect/being on this forum/living in line with my mission seems to make my game 100x better.

I’ve also met two girls in the past month that are absolute 10/10s (also want to stop using the scale: in my book. Girls that people start wars over, cross oceans for, who inspire men to paint masterpieces. I had meet ups with both of these girls in the past week. It is truly tragic that I’m leaving within a week of meeting up with them. I guess it is one of the sacrifices you make when you have a journey you must continue on. Like Santiago at the oasis in the Alchemist.

I arrive in New Zealand on Saturday and will be living there for 5 months. I anticipate that it will be challenging to keep a consistent daily routine initially. I’m spending a couple of nights in a pair of cities visiting friends before finally making it down to the town where I’ll be living. Despite the fluidity of a travel schedule, I want to stay consistent with these habits/goals:

-Continue my noFAP/noPorn streak
-15+ minutes of standing meditation
-At least one slow round of tai chi (3+ minutes)
-Track how long I stretch for each day (mindful stretching without multi-tasking)
-Jump on opportunities to approach and meet people
————Talk to + exchange names with 1 stranger a day (on average), being outgoing with people at the airport, sitting next to me on the plane, etc. If that one person happens to be an attractive woman then all the better haha
-Get back on a throwing regimen now that my back is starting to feel better

Lots of changes. Leaving one life and family-like community behind. Stepping into a new life on the other side of the world.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
There's a lot to catch up on. Really cool that the transition over to the new forum interface has happened. A lot more modern lol.

Been on a tear lately, arrived in my home for the next 5 months in NZ last Wednesday. Since then I had a goal of meeting one new attractive girl each day.

I'm 4 for 5 so far with 2 numbers and an IG close. All 4 of those interactions hooked. Already have a lay with 1 of those girls.

40 day noFAP/noPORN streak going. CHAMPION.

Was quite social as I went to Auckland for 2 nights and Wellington for 2 nights right after leaving Germany. Met 2 girls, Lu & Li, at the gate in Hong Kong before my flight to Auckland. Exchanged IG with both of them.

Opened 2 beauties on the beach today. Pa and Sa.

Highlights were comparing Sa to a hip-Hop mermaid. Like Nicki Minaj in Super Bass. Learning about Pa having a German friend in Hamburg. Taught her to say fuck you sluts. Ended it by saying how they completed this scene for me. Blue skies, ocean, island in the distance, and two beauties lying there in the sun.

Auckland waterfront by the cloud met Fr

Walked to Albert Park

Met Sa, Persian Kurdish girl headed to her psychology exam at bus stop below Albert Park. Her eyes omg, like a green brown cyclone of beauty

Met Ka at Albert park sitting beneath a tree. From north Ireland. We chatted for like 30 minutes. IG exchanged.

Tanuki’s cave for some beef tongue

Met Fi and Ng on the bus to Mt. Eden. Two 50 year old ladies. Fiona was beautiful in the face. Helped me get off at the right stop.

Airport Auckland: Met Je at the gate, she was very self actualized it felt like. We exchanged instagrams. I passed her a note on the plane. Had the girl behind me wake her up lol. Thought I wouldn’t see her again. Then after getting my bags, while I’m figuring out how to get to the city, she sees me and calls out to me. I get a ride into Wellington with her and her friend.

Met So, Austrian girl right as I entered the Marion. IG closed


Met Ca, French girl with super cute bob cut. IG closed

Met Ab, walked up to the botanical garden with her. View at the cable car was bomb. Facebook closed.

Met Li, walking to Te Papa museum, blonde educational psychology and opera beauty. IG closed.

Opening red heads Ash and Na on the streets, both hooked. Ash I could have pushed for contact info if I had felt like it. Na was getting on a bus

How do I turn these fun, playful, interactions with light touch, into some more passionate with kissing or more without needing a private place/a bed? Hostel game, still a mystery to me. Put that on the bucket list. Have sex with one of the girls in the hostel I’m staying at, in the hostel.

Decent job with keeping up with meditation and tai chi. Not so good with stretching. Beginning an embodied flexibility course though, which will be great! Great job with noFAP/noPORN. Great job meeting people and being social. Pretty good job getting back into throwing.

I have an awesome part time job lead here. I may be a juicer lol.


Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
Some notes:

When Dates or Pickups Go Awry, the 3-Legged Chair Is Your Guide to Why
--->Pay attention to the 3 key areas:
  1. Social Frame
  2. Emotional Stimulation
  3. Sexual Arousal
Threesome How-To: Step-by-Step to Get Two Girls
--->Great lines for leading up to a 3some. I want to try this out. Plus I imagine a toy I bought a couple months ago could come in handy :cool:

From the Journeyman Guide Day 2:

Overproviding Good Feelings
--->Do just enough to get you to the next stage of the seduction. Beyond a certain point, providing good feelings prevents you from actually putting your P in her V. Good feelings are only a piece of the puzzle, not the whole puzzle by any stretch.

Reactions from Women or Results with Women
---> Reactions mean practically nothing. Focus on results. Or focus on a process that nets you actual results like:
  • A girl moving with you when you invite her to move with you.
  • A girl moving to sit somewhere alone with you.
  • A girl deflecting difficult social situations – like pushy friends or needy male suitors – specifically in order to spend more time with you.
  • A girl joining you one-on-one on a date (as opposed to hanging with you at a bar or a party or with friends).
  • A girl coming home with you.
  • A girl getting intimate with you.
Forge ahead. Take the shots. Unless a girl is obviously declining your advances, make the move.

The action step is: Write down all the times you can think of where a girl seemed to be super into you...but it turned into nothing. Next, write down how much time you spent on each girl, and how long you waited before trying to move forward.

Recently, 3 examples come to mind. Ni or Golden Pony Girl from late August/early September. Then Vi and Ja from October.

Ni I definitely waited too long during our movie meet up to make moves and I was dominant enough as I was making them. I'd say that was equal parts bad sexual chemistry between us and me putting too much weight onto her reactions/lack of obvious enthusiasm. German girls and people in general are very stifled in my experience when there is no alcohol in them.

Vi (V) I met while black out drunk at a party. Her ex tried to fight me. Life got in the way and she flaked our planned meet up a couple days afterwards. I send a hail mary text a few weeks later before I leave Germany and she responds well. We meet up. Coffee date at 1pm on a Sunday. We leave the cafe about 30 minutes after first sitting down together, going for a walk. It's going really well. She's touching me, having a good time. We pass my apartment on our walk and I say we should go up there to my whiteboard so she can properly teach me some German. She is not into this, doesn't want to go somewhere completely private with me. Later on in her car I notice she has pepper spray attached to her purse, which is pretty strange for small town Germany. I wish I had noticed that earlier and deep dove about if she has had any bad experiences with guys and has needed to use it. Anyway, we say farewell to each other at like 2:30pm. She was driving an hour and a half to another city to go to a house party. I was going to a farewell dinner at my coach's house, a tearjerking event. The only thing I feel like I could have done was some how deepen the moment, building the frame that this is a one and a million connection, and some how sold her the idea of being my guest for the evening for my dinner. I really don't see how I could have pulled her based on how uncomfortable she was being alone with me. I think that had more to do with her and less to do with me, though I'm certain I had room for improvement in how I went about things during the meet up.

I tried to set up a 2nd meet up. Her schedule during the week Monday-Wednesday was 6am - 10pm days. I flew out Thursday. The stars were not aligned.

The magic was during our meet up at that cafe on Sunday. There was a level of depth I did not get to. If I had, she would have been mine for the evening.

Ja (Glimmer)I know I did well because her friend told my buddy who was with me that Ja never lets guys talk to her like this. Ja and I meet up a few nights later. She was supposed to come to my town for the sunset, but she couldn't get off work early enough. I go over to her town and we meet up at 7:30pm. She takes me to a gorgeous view spot where we can look down on the town and up at the stars. She is guarded though. There were also two other couple there, not next to us, but in the general vicinity, so I felt like really going for a kiss would have activated her ASD. But then when we walked back to my car there was a window. I could have danced a bit with her, held her close, gone for a kiss. Gotten her sexually aroused more. Instead, nothing happens. I drive her back to her apartment, no parking spots readily available so my car is in the middle of the street. It's 9pm, she says she normally goes to bed at like 10pm to wake up at 7am for her job. Some how the conversation turns sexual and she says she hasn't had sex in 6 months. WTF. I'm like how the hell have you gone that long without sex. We then talk about orgasms a bit, but she is uncomfortable with it. Her English isn't great and my German isn't great. If I had found a parking spot I would have gotten out of the car with her. Maybe pulled a I have to use the bathroom let me come inside your place for a minute or seen if I could have spiked her emotions to where she wanted the night to keep going. I pulled the white flag though and let her go. I never saw her again. We had talked about her coming over to my town on the upcoming weekend during the meet up. She got a fever though (or so she said lol). Then the next week she was busy 7am to 10pm pretty much like the other girl. WHY THE FUCK DO GIRLS WORK AND STUDY AT THE SAME TIME? Like as a society we have it so these absolute beautiful angels are throwing their divine femininity down the drain all for what? Turning women into wannabe men and turning men into docile petting zoo animals.

Glimmer and V were both 10/10 for me in terms of looks and interesting personalities. Both of them were classic Germans, cold on the surface, not touchy/sensual like a lot of the women in Argentina. I would have loved to see what the two of them were like in bed. To see if they could turn on a a more sensual side and to see how their language of touch matched with my own. Goodness, they were inspiring. At least on the outside, they were the divine feminine manifested.

Faces I could have looked at forever. The different angles. The different facial expressions. Their eyes. Their smiles. Bodies that were curvy and feminine in all the best ways. In the bedroom I would have worshiped them and also would have made them worship me.

Girls like the two of them are why I'm in the game. To experience the divine feminine in the flesh. To dance with my masculine essence in the highest form possible.

Gosh maybe the Alabaster Girl has gotten to me.
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Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Aug 25, 2019
New Zealand
The good fight continues.

A former lay from Argentina earlier this year who I have sexted with a bit sent me this on Monday over IG. This kicked off massive feelings of temptation. She is the curviest girl I’ve ever slept with probably, based off waist/hip ratio. Her’s is .64. Urges to FAP and watch porn immediately arose. Exacerbated by me replying and her sending me photos of how she’s lost some weight, but has kept her curves. Some sexting ensues. While I wait for her messages/videos I check out some videos of curvy cam models and curvy porn comics. Hungry for the body of Venus manifest. I even spend some time photoshopping her photos to make them even curvier. I’m an addict.

I did not cave and FAP. I used my PHD (story for another day) to film some videos I sent to her. I went down the rabbit hole a bit again with the porn, then ended it on my own accord. In the moment I was disappointed. Now I am on a new streak. My hero’s journey is more powerful than my hedonistic urges. With gentleness, patience, and persistence, the spirit can overcome biology. Like water that takes thousands of years to cut grand canyons.

This whole battle against FAPing/watching porn is related to my journey with seduction because I’m a big believer in the ultimate importance of what we place our awareness/focus/attention on and how we invest our energy.

The more I watch porn, the more I’m tricked into thinking I already have what I want (sex with curvy women) without receiving any of the physiological, psychological, and spiritual benefits. This erodes self-esteem, assertiveness, and my ability to skillfully engage with women in real life. Drooling in lust via a screen is the seduction equivalent of going out and binging on McDonalds if you want a fitness model body.

My noFAP streak continues strongly. 48 days so far.

A new noPorn streak started last night. Nov. 19th, 2019 @ 11:32pm. Closing in and passing that 24hr mark as I post this :D

19 -> 20

Suffering. Love. Alchemy. Onward.