FU  Gay Bar - Unnecessary Claims & Cockblocks


Sep 21, 2016

Last Sunday I had a very frustrating night because I overstated my value in an attempt to make her more attracted. It ended up pushing attainability into a darker zone in a branch of the concept that focuses on having other girls with you. This served as an obstacle for the rest of the attempted seduction, and then I had a total 180 by the girl's friends. It gave me some insight on how to succeed at gay bars, though.


I go out with my coworkers for a drink or two to watch the Grammy's. We go to a gay bar right next to the place we work and enjoy conversation. After half my coworkers leave, I begin to walk out but then both managers enter, so I decide to stay for one more. While I'm walking around, I bump into this hot latina with some pretty large knockers.

Hooking & Conversation

As I knock into her, I say "oh excuuuse me" with a smile. She smiles back and lets out a little yell, then explains she's trying to go the same way. I say "oh okay (; " and remain exactly where I am. She keeps in her direction and disappears into the crowd for about 5-10 seconds. She's with two other, unattractive girls.

Then she comes right back because their friends decide to / they couldn't get through. I see the opportunity to chase frame her and immediately banter to her, "oohh you're following me now!" and she laughs and comes up to me. I take her hand and we smile at eachother and she says, "yes, I am".

I ask her name and pull her slightly into me, and we exchange names. There was a big concert that just happened so I ask if that's where she was and she says she was, then introduces me to her friends. With a really good vibe I smile at her friends, get their names, and shake their hands. I turn back to her.
Her: hey, I'm just gonna get this out of the way, are you straight?
Me: yes, I am, are you?
Her: yes, I am (=
Me: cool, are you single?
Her: I am single (=
Me: well lucky you. or, lucky us I should say
That dialogue ^ , simple as it was, had a heavy impact on her arousal. I was looking into her with a sexy smile and very good eye contact, and you could feel her just totally drawing into my vibe. There was blood rushing to my dick, as well. So I broke the tension with the intent of bringing it back later.

Sometimes I think I just shouldn't break it though, and take her hand and lead to her to make out. However, in the gay bar, this happening immediately from the opener is all too common in my experience.

I switch to a quick thing of small talk to figure out my logistics, and to set myself for talking with her again in a moment. Her fat friend also came up to me and said that she was gonna let me talk with her in a second, but they're going to the patio, and I should meet them there. I tell my girl I will as her friend starts walking her away and give her a little push.

After this I return to my friends and tell them to take my stuff that I was carrying, because I'm gonna be talking to this girl. They're cool with it, so I grab a beer and head to the patio.

On the patio I see two short mexican gay dudes talking intensely with the latina. I don't want to overstep their conversation so I talk to her friends. One is normal, fat, and kinda boring. The other is weird and creepy. She told me probably 20X that I was so handsome, so hot, and so dreamy. It was flattering and helped preselection at first, but it was flat out annoying and weird by the 5th time.... and she just kept going. e

As soon as I can I get talking to my girl again I do. While I'm roping her away from her friends, they comment on how good looking I am and she agrees with them. I grab her and get to know her a little bit. I find out she's a bartender (similarity) and ask some other open ended questions about her. Then she flirts with me by saying "I shouldn't be single", and I fuck up.

I could have said something back and escalating like, "what are you gonna do about it?" and pulled her into me --> makeout.

Instead, I say, "well, I'm kinda single".


What this does, is push attainability and value into a questionable zone. As soon as I said this, things became much harder with her. Her body language, and the entire vibe changed.

"Kinda Single"

Things were nearing the sweet spot. I think if I had escalated or qualified her appropriately, I'd have hit the zone of "he is actually interested in ME, and he's clearly high value.

  • But from saying something that OBJECTED to the idea that I'm single, I basically give her a "I'm not actually single". This is NOT what she wants to hear. It says that I fooled her at first, but that image she had is wrong, I'm not necessarily accessible to her tonight.

  • In addition, it throws in the prospect that there's another girl, which means I'm that girl's, not her's.

While it did increase my value that preselection boosts it, it did two things that lowered it as well.

  • I was qualifying myself by telling her that. My motivation in saying it in the first place was to boost my value by humble bragging preselection. It was. If her intuition understood this, then this is close to me saying "I fuck girls".
    There are ways to plant seeds of "girls want to fuck me", and there are times to do it. She was already clearly interested and I had her isolated. So, using this technique was a bad move.

  • It says, "I might be cheating on my girlfriend". This one, I had no intention or idea that I was accomplishing this. Since we were at a gay bar (a very open minded environment) I assumed that open relationships are something that she would be at least somewhat familiar with and okay with. I was wrong, and she is from a small town where they don't really have these, so she said. She later told me that this was exactly the reason she was turned off all of a sudden.

Let the Cocks be Blocked

Despite being confused by her sudden disgust with what I just said, I remain cool. She hit me with a "huh? what do you mean?". I simply held my frame and then said "yea as in an open relationship" (which, is not TOTALLY TRUE, so I lied.. something I have adamantly been trying to not do in a way that isn't autistic - but I guess I'm not there yet). She kept pushing me on it in a "what the fuck do you mean" kinda of way and so I calmly explained what is was and then hit her with the bored look. This was genuine of me, because I was a little turned off that she wasn't open minded enough to know how relationships work on a spectrum.

After the bored look I change topics and incorporate touch and get her back up a little bit, but I can feel a teensy bit of dissonance still there with her. She says, "okay, you're cool (= " by the end, so I passed the shit test it seems.

They say they're down for another bar, and I tell them that yes, we'll be leaving. I want to tell my coworkers what I"m doing so I tell them to stay right there and then we'll leave, like a fucking idiot. They agree and I go.

When I come back the fucking mexican guys are all over my girl again. They did not stop partying with her for literally 2 hours straight. I had her in my hand, ready to leave to the next bar one second, and then totally focused on having fun with these random dudes the next. I had to STRIKE, and I didn't.

So I end up doing a couple of shots with them and talking with her friends. Eventually it's close to closing time and I can't get my girl away, so I ask her fat friend what's going on. She's cool with me taking her home, she says. She says that the latina is crazy and I need to be really aggressive. Say no more.

I go over to her and grab her arm and calmly talk to her. The gay guy starts feeling my abs and she joins. Next thing I know she's running her hands all over me, so I lift up my shirt to show her my work's logo (it was my uniform on inside-out since I was in public). The moment my shirt came up and her hands were on my abs, the fat friend did a TOTAL 180. She starts yelling, angry, at her friend that they're leaving.

She knew that it's her friend getting all the attention from me and the gay guys, and here's a fat girl not getting either of those things. Then she sees my abs and goes, "oh, and she get's THAT?" and the envy of her friend spiked. Everything I've read from Hector's book suggests this, and I trust his experience on the topic.

Recognizing that she just turned cunt, I know I have to act fast. I pull my girl to me and say that I've been trying to talk with her all night and that I want to keep hanging out with her. She starts bringing up the open relationship thing again, even though I thought I'd relinquished it. But clearly - that tiny little vibe that remained from earlier wasn't actually gone, and she might have thought about it again since then. I try to get her alone to explain again, but this is near impossible because those gay guys keep grabbing her.

I say to one of the gay guys when I get a second, in spanish, that I want to talk to her and to let me get some time. The one guy is totally on my side, and distracts his amor to let me do so. Then the fat girl is grabbing her friend to leave again, and they go to the bathroom. The fat one comes out first and I talk with her, and she puts on a facade to me of being nice again.

The moment the latina comes out I grab her and do a hard sell to sit down and talk. I pull her away and we sit down after she insists on getting herself a beer, because I have one and she doesn't. I get 20 seconds into talking to her, and the gay dude comes up again and grabs her, now talking in spanish about how I'm a bad person and kissing her, and how much he loves her, but to NOT do anything with me. Drunk fucking bitch. I tell him, calmly, but sternly, "hey amigo, necesito hablarse for a few minutos" and the latina bursts out, "hey! ssh!" to me, sternly.

So I'm sitting there in this booth while I listen to this fucker talk shit about me, and when I try to dominate the girl who I'm trying to talk with shushes me. I came soo close to just leaving. I stayed after I convinced myself that this is fucking ridiculous and managed to laugh. FINALLY, the guy leaves.

I turn to the girl and make a joke that she's the hardest person I've ever had to try and talk to and she laughs. I should have just made more good emotions and escalated, but me thinking like a man thinks I need to "pick up where we left off" and "resolve" the open relationship thing. I do, it brings the vibe down, and then just as she communicates she understands the fat friend rears her ugly mug around and aggressively starts pulling the latina away and yelling that "WE'RE GOING.".

I throw a hail mary for a drink at my house, fully aware it won't work. She sadly says, "it was nice meeting you", and they leave. I'm so frustrated at this point, mostly at myself, but also a lot at that gay guy. I wanted to punch him in the fucking face. Hence the angry journal post I most recently made.

Shortly after I just walk out and they're standing outside. I ignore them and go home.


So, I learned a few things. I made some technical mistakes that created obstacles for myself, and then I failed to jump through the very small windows that I had been presented. Gay bars are a really fun time for girls because they can let loose so much, which is why it's so easy to do fast escalations. It's just good vibes, good vibes, no judgement, fun. The gay guys want to party with their girlfriends, and sometimes they want to set you up with the girls. When they don't, they're an obstacle in their own right because they want your girls attention. It's different trying to dominate them than some other guy at a club, because they're not your competition. The solution is to use and build compliance - unfortunately I had very little of it in this situation.

  • If she's already sold on you, don't accidentally object to her idea of you as a sexual option in some implicit way
  • There comes a point where acknowledging preselection is simply qualifying yourself, which can be unattractive
  • Have a place to go IMMEDIATELY when you get the window of her being ready to move, be it a bar, restaurant, etc.
  • Recognize that if she gets away from you too long, she will likely get sucked up into having fun with her friends, and begin to forget about the good vibes your dick would bring her
  • Fatties get envious, and they selfishly will cock block their friends out of that (she kept being nice to me after, and only directed her cuntyness to the situation she witnessed)




Modern Human
Modern Human
Aug 12, 2014
This is a really good report. Many is the time we had all ducks in a row and then did slightly the wrong thing. It is harsh, however, it ensures we do not make that exact mistake again :) :) Points for persisting and trying to make something of it anyway.
cheers, Ray