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GC: What would be the message you would sent to Eliot Rodger?

Indian Race Troll (IRT)

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To help him.

I know Chase did an article about this but I want to hear it from others.

I got scared when that tragedy happened because a lot of my good friends live in Isla Vista. We know the guy obviously had mental problems and even got therapy for it but I feel like all across the nation there are guys out there that are like him mentally. Our gut instincts will tell us to call the cops and report his stuff to the authorities but say you did not know he was going to go off that crazy and had to send him one message to maybe try to put him through to the right path. What would be the message you send?

Now keep in mind (and I got this impression of him) that this guy seems to had an overwhelming desire for attractive white girls in sororities so it seemed like he was going through a lot of rejections with them. I got the impression that this guy was going for one particular group of girls and given his entitlement he would not let up going after them but he kept rejected. It is almost like he was trying to get these sorority girls because he felt that they would help him to escape the outcast role he had been in his entire life. What's scary is that I see this problem with some members of this forum, friends I know in real life, and even guys on other forums I have lurked on.

Yet I have no idea how you can help a guy like that.
 

Franco

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Kenshin,

I won't go into too much detail here as I've already discussed this numerous times with other close friends, but I don't think there's a single message you could send to him that would suddenly sway him in your favor. It's likely that he's read it all before and won't believe any of it.

That being said, your best bet would probably be to OFFER to go out with him and guarantee him that you'll get him XYZ from a girl that night -- in this case, I would probably go with XYZ being a kiss. To summarize what the message would say, it would be something along the lines of, "dude, you might as well come with me tonight. I swear that if I don't get you at LEAST a kiss this weekend, assuming you follow my instructions to the T, then you'll never have to hear from me again."

In other words, I would probably appeal to his "well, fuck it, I'll give it a shot since the guy is at least willing to come out with me and help me seduce a girl. If it doesn't work, what do I have to lose?" attitude.

Elliot had such serious victim and entitlement mentality that any form of trying to convince him his mental model was wrong would probably fail. You would simply need to convince him to come out with you and show him a taste of success so that you would have a chance of breaking that mental model that he's stuck to.

- Franco
 

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@Franco

I read his manifesto (you should read it too), seems like this kid had been in situations where attractive girls smiled at him like when he was walking on the beach and talked about how this hot woman smiled when looking at him. What blew my mind was how he confessed to following a couple to the parking lot and splashing coffee on to them. Then he talked about how he was going to do the same to some dark skinned mexican guy who was with an attractive blonde that he wanted which also made me uncomfortable. The sexual frustration that kid was going through made him into a racist (on one part of his manifesto he talks about meeting his new room mates and then says "to my dismay they were hispanic").

Looking at it now, it seemed like he was highly sensitive to things due to not having a father figure around when he most needed one (parents divorced and his stepmother was abusive it seems). As a result of all that he became sensitive to everything that was being said to him.

I don't think getting laid would have done anything for him at all, this guy needed a transformation. What he really needed IMO is an outlet, something to where he can develop his confidence. He said he sucked at sports and stuff but IMO he quit too early. I would have taken him under my wing and let him play sports with me and my boys. When he quit I would tell him that he can't because the character that is build by accomplishing things is what helps men get women. It might have not worked either IMO because it seemed like he hated muscular athletic looking guys.
 

Franco

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Fuji

Looking at it now, it seemed like he was highly sensitive to things due to not having a father figure around when he most needed one (parents divorced and his stepmother was abusive it seems). As a result of all that he became sensitive to everything that was being said to him.

Yeah, I believe this probably played a big role in his sensitivity. I've (unfortunately) noticed a trend where a lot of the men raised solely (or primarily) by women tend to have very feminine attributes to their personality. It can be great for some things, but it's obviously terrible for others. In general, these guys tend to get more of an entitlement mentality because their mothers tell them things like "you deserve the best! A great girl is out there for you!" All of these things make the guy believe he just needs to keep doing what he's doing and that women will come to him; on the contrary, it can be pretty destructive advice.

I don't think getting laid would have done anything for him at all, this guy needed a transformation. What he really needed IMO is an outlet, something to where he can develop his confidence. He said he sucked at sports and stuff but IMO he quit too early. I would have taken him under my wing and let him play sports with me and my boys. When he quit I would tell him that he can't because the character that is build by accomplishing things is what helps men get women. It might have not worked either IMO because it seemed like he hated muscular athletic looking guys.

I still have to disagree here (and essentially agree with Chase) that he needed a bullet to crush through his current mental model. From personal experience, "outlets" aren't real solutions to a problem and rather just a way to alleviate some of the stress caused by not achieving what you truly desire. In this day and age, I would say porn and video games are the two best outlets for not having to deal with the issue of not having women in your life, but when I say "best," I don't mean "good." It's just a way of escaping the reality that you are living in a scarcity mentality.

As far as sports go, you kind of have to have a very competitive mentality to really enjoy it. If you don't really have any desire to compete and be better than other guys at the game, then there will be no desire to become better. Also, unless the athletes actually helped him approach women, then it wouldn't have done much for his scarcity mentality either. You can garner attraction through sports and physical athleticness, but if you don't know how to capitalize on it, you'll still be in the same position. But I do agree that having a father figure can help attribute to gaining a competitive mentality as fathers are usually seen as figures of authority and power who compete for more authority and power. They can make great role models for young boys if they have the right mentality.

Anyway, Elliot's only hope would have been having SOME success with the opposite sex (with the help and advice of another guy). He would have had to believe that maybe he had been going about things the wrong way. If you could have just planted a SEED of doubt in his flawed mental model, then it's very possible the whole tragedy would have never come into fruition.

- Franco
 
a good date brings a smile to your lips... and hers

flowerpower

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Were he a friend, this is what I'd tell him: stop taking yourself so seriously and thinking you're in a goddamn movie. Your fake laugh is ridiculous, so is what you've been saying for the past ten minutes. In other words, wake the fuck up. And I'd slap him so he remembers it.
 

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I too read his manifesto and whenever the guy saw the kind of women he desired (attractive blondes) with any kind of men he was enraged. IMO I know he would have thrown a drink at me or tried to fight me. His sense of entitlement was so large that he was bothered by the fact that these girls were dating guys they usually date. I meet frustrated guys too, but none so frustrated that they try to attack couples who make them jealous.

Eliot was a special case and that is an understatement, just getting this guy a kiss would have somewhat alleviated the issue but not solved it. What I didn't get is how he hated girls for liking a certain kind of guy and why he couldn't try his best to be that guy. Maybe I would have hooked him up with an attractive blonde from a more hipster crowd.
 
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