Get a side hoe?

[theblackpanther]

To make a long story short. I was hanging out with my gf the other night till she went to bed. Things went well. Then her college dorm neighbor(literally just one step across the hallway) invited me to her room. Now I've been flirting with this girl for some time now, but she doesn't know I have a gf. Her roommate was asleep at the time and just so happens to be a heavy sleeper.

So one thing led to another and eventually I'm shirtless, she was in her very revealing tank top and pants. At this point, we have not kissed or touched anywhere toooo inappropriate. We're holding each other very close. Our faces are inches away, and she proceeds to tell me, "we can do whatever you want".

First of all shoutout to girls chase because up until this point I've been doing everything to this girl besides actually crossing the boundary of cheating. This includes: spanking, choking, picking up, cuddling, etc. But, we never kissed or went past that point, and this was that moment. So the sexual tension between us was through the fucking roof, and I successfully presented myself as a lover.

I took a deep sigh with my dick at half-mast and my mind in a fucking frenzy...looked her in the eyes and told her: "I would but... I'm dating *insert name here*".

Now I did this for 3 reasons:
1. be loyal
2. if I were to have a side hoe I would want her to know I have a gf first, so there would be no problems.
3. if she wasn't literally neighbors with my gf and didn't know her, i probably would've done it.



She took it pretty well. Told me "you should probably put back on your shirt", and that the girl I'm dating is very nice. I kissed her on her forehead. She said, "thank you". We said goodnight to each other and I left.

She texted me like 10 minutes later saying:

"I didn't know you and her were dating. I'm sorry to put you in that position. Thx for not letting things go anywhere"

I told her no worries and that we should talk more tmr. She replied "sounds good"

It is now tmr and I'm trying to figure out if she could be a potential side hoe or not. She actually respected me very much for telling her and really appreciated the fact I did. So, I do think I did the right thing at the moment. I'm just wondering what should I say to her later today in order to play my cards right . She and my gf are not friends, by the way, they just happen to see each other often because they live close. Acquaintances is a better term for them.

Suggestions pls? Preferably today lol.

 

[Gunwitch]

You already told on yourself, shouldn't have, but spilled milk.

Now you are gonna get token resistance when you meet again.

Project sexuality and eye contact strong, bedroom talk her, but don't initiate anything until yo can see it back STRONG. Keep the conversation casual and nonchalant, project the sexual, until she is giving it back again STRONG. At that point maybe a tickle fight or sliding next to her to show her a picture on phone then whisper in her ear that she hase a sexy face, or some such, then in for a kiss. Just asking her to sit or lay with you ship is sailed need to be sneakier being you dropped GF bomb already.

Then when making out YOU make the objection "we shouldn't be doing this we could end up having sex, but I guess just kissing, some more of this is ok, we can control ourselves", to take care of it preemptive for her, then excuse it as "we are just gonna makeout no fuck" with line above

At some point clothes can just start coming off. Best case scenario I figure to recover.


Gun

 

[theblackpanther]

You already told on yourself, shouldn't have, but spilled milk.

Now you are gonna get token resistance when you meet again.

Project sexuality and eye contact strong, bedroom talk her, but don't initiate anything until yo can see it back STRONG. Keep the conversation casual and nonchalant, project the sexual, until she is giving it back again STRONG.

Then when making out YOU make the objection "we shouldn't be doing this we could end up having sex, but I guess just kissing, some more of this is ok, we can control ourselves", to take care of it preemptive for her, then excuse it as "we are just gonna makeout no fuck" with line above

At some point clothes can just start coming off. Best case scenario I figure to recover.


Gun

I'm gonna sound like an ass-kisser but I'm glad to have gotten a response from the legend himself. Thank you.

But, do you think I should've told her I had a gf after I fucked her possibly? Curious about your thought process. Maybe I'm interpreting what you said wrong here?

You already told on yourself, shouldn't have, but spilled milk.

I will do exactly what you said to do, if it works out I will let you know. We've been texting today and the flirting is still very much there. We'll see how it goes in person.

Once again, thank you

 

[Gunwitch]

I'm gonna sound like an ass-kisser but I'm glad to have gotten a response from the legend himself. Thank you.

But, do you think I should've told her I had a gf after I fucked her possibly? Curious about your thought process. Maybe I'm interpreting what you said wrong here?

I will do exactly what you said to do, if it works out I will let you know. We've been texting today and the flirting is still very much there. We'll see how it goes in person.

Once again, thank you

Thanks for the kind words.

Nah I mean don't bother to tell her at all, odds of making a 3 way poly LTR and all is low, them being across hall from each other complicates just pure cheating on the main of course. But hey what the dick wants the dick wants.

Gun

 

[theblackpanther]

Update! Still heavy flirting between me and Mrs. neighbor. Didn't get too much touching due to others constantly being around. However, still choking, pulling her hair, and just being rough with her overall. Many sex jokes between us, also. If anything I would just say we're bring more discreet about it which makes it more fun and sexy.

Best part is I always see her late at night after having "fun" with my GF so I'm usually already in a sexual state which projects onto her.

Overall still in a good zone with her. Sexual tension is there. My girlfriend will be gone from campus this weekend as are many others since this is "fall break" so this should be a good opportunity to push things further with less risk. I expect LMR so I'll have to prepare and read on how to push past that.

We shall see..


Cheers. TheBlackPanther

 

[Skills]

I personally would pass which was your first instinct... to close to home and you may lose your gf.... i am all for side hoes but i have a hard no with neighboors of gf, her family members, her friends, people she knows....

 

[theblackpanther]

I personally would pass which was your first instinct... to close to home and you may lose your gf.... i am all for side hoes but i have a hard no with neighboors of gf, her family members, her friends, people she knows....

Yeah..this is where things get a bit confusing. Maybe I shouldn't actively pursue her and try to actually fuck so to say. I'll see her when I see her. Flirt here and there maybe have her as a potential backup instead of a side hoe. It is a bit risky. She is fun to flirt with but flirting without taking action will just not end well for either of us. Can't just flirt forever I feel like I have to make a decision on my course of action with her. What are your thoughts? Perhaps a backup is better? Or nothing of the sort?

Cheers. TheBlackPanther

 

[Skills]

Yeah..this is where things get a bit confusing. Maybe I shouldn't actively pursue her and try to actually fuck so to say. I'll see her when I see her. Flirt here and there maybe have her as a potential backup instead of a side hoe. It is a bit risky. She is fun to flirt with but flirting without taking action will just not end well for either of us. Can't just flirt forever I feel like I have to make a decision on my course of action with her. What are your thoughts? Perhaps a backup is better? Or nothing of the sort?

Cheers. TheBlackPanther

Let me tell u the dynamics... she is hot for u and u are hot for her something new and exiting a lot of sexual tension... you rejected he like a stark, so u are honorable and u kind of friendzone her, she wants what she can not have an her attraction will sky rocket due to this... in you head u even wondering what if she is my girl and no the one u have... but grass is never greener on other side just new... keep her as back up if u ever end with ur girl... or u can bang but know super high probability of drama, fights and even break up...

 

[Wick]

I think the bigger issue here is that OP is in a monogamous relationship but doesn’t want to be monogamous.

There are ways to date multiple girls without hurting them by cheating. Saying you’re monogamous but not actually meaning it I think is a pretty messy situation to be in.

It might be difficult to get your current girlfriend to be ok with it, but in the future with other relationships if you set the expectations right you can have more freedom.

I personally don’t like cheating. I’ve been cheated on and it’s very painful, even though I’d be ok with an open relationship. The difference being the expectations set.

 

[Beck Bass]

I personally don’t like cheating. I’ve been cheated on and it’s very painful, even though I’d be ok with an open relationship. The difference being the expectations set.

Yeah, totally, @theblackpanther gotta figure out where his morality is, if you really wanna cheat on your girl be prepared for the consequences, karma is real, and it's really hard to hide this type of stuff...

I would ask myself why am I even with my girl and if she wasn't ok with an open relationship, if I would still be with her. And if the answer is no, I would tell her straight away what I wanted (maybe it would have been better for you to set the record straight right away, but it's never too late for the truth, eventually it comes out, anyway, it's just up to you to decide how it comes out, while you can). Break ups suck but sometimes they are unavoidable, and stalling just makes it worse.

 

[Skills]

Cheating is no the problem, is that they know each other, same circles, extremely risky...

 

[TomInHo]

It's literally too close to home

You can keep her in friend zone as a backup option for later, but if you want a side hoe, find a girl that your girlfriend will not run into

 

[theblackpanther]

Thank you so much for all the words of help.

Here's an update: me and her neighbor just chilled and cuddled in my room while my roommate was gone. We watched a movie. Made a bunch of sexual jokes. I kissed her on the cheek but in a "friendly" manner and didn't make it too serious. She said "what the frick was that?" but didn't provide any actual resistance. But because of the way I did it she was just giggly about it. And there was a bunch of touching going on, just nothing too sexual. And I think I'm fine with that actually.

I realize I'm not ready to risk my relationship with my current girl. This is her first relationship. I took her first kiss, first date, and first time. I would be an asshole to do this to her and not the good/fun kind either. Hopefully, I didn't already ruin things, but as of right now she has no idea. I might chill with the side hoe thing for now.

It'll be nice to keep her as a backup. Simply to keep that abundance mentality but I won't pursue her so to say. She's been discreet about this whole thing recently since she now knows I have a gf, so I am glad I told her.

PS: Funny thing is, everyone, thinks this neighbor is "gay". She dresses like a boy and the room is full of pride flags and rainbow shit. I don't blame them for thinking this way. However, around me, she is very feminine which I think was my favorite part of this whole interaction. Seeing her change how she acts around me really made things enjoyable.

This weekend might be difficult since my GF will be gone but the neighbor won't..
Oh well. I'll just find a way to resist.

Cheers. TheBlackPanther