Getting a Girl to Cheat on her Boyfriend?

[Valesti]

Here's a question for you mildly more experienced guys out there.

The Scenario
Let's say there's a girl who you know for a fact undoubtedly has a boyfriend.
Nevertheless, she keeps flirting with you.

I'll contextualize it in my case. The girl and I are both high school Seniors, and her boyfriend is actually a Sophomore... at my school. Yikes. Clear conflict of interest there.
To be more clear, she has sent me some pretty risque photos of herself. Once provoked (as a joke, I didn't think she would go for it), then another time, completely out of the blue. Other than that, her messages are often laden with double entendres, and is starting a conversation with me rather often (like multiple times per day).

The Dilemma
So, for my specific case, do you think it's prudent to go after this girl? Up to this point, I haven't really done anything to reciprocate interest, because I really wasn't sure how to handle this. I would have to deal with the boyfriend and that potential mess. At the same time... she's literally the hottest girl I've ever seen. Like I've gotten with models before, and this girl makes them look like Shrek.

More broadly, do you think it's wrong/right to seduce a girl to cheat on her boyfriend, even if she is laying the groundwork for it to happen?
Now, if you do choose to go after her, what's next? Like if you're hanging out and flirting with her, you and she both know that she has a boyfriend. In a way, it almost seems like she doesn't even want a boyfriend. Is there a way to maneuver this situation so that
1) you get with the girl
2) social backlash for you is minimized


Pretty sprawling topic, I know. Any insights on this would be super helpful. Thanks guys.

 

[NarrowJ]

Hey V,

This one is really quite simple, actually. If a girl is sending you racy photos, it means she wants you to flog her and ring her out like a wet mop

You need to do something before the girl loses interest/gives up on you making a move and goes into auto-rejection.

The boyfriend isn't much of an obstacle at all if you are discreet. Schedule some alone time with her (this can be to study, watch a film, listen to music, just enjoy one another's company). Then kiss her and escalate as far as possible, hopefully to penetrative sex.

Let us know what happens!

J.J.

 

[ray_zorse]

I agree with NJ.

But speaking generally this is an issue that interests me a lot cos I see a lot of married women on a regular basis. I would say the answer depends completely on the signals you get. Examples:

1) I went for coffee today and ended up spending the afternoon with a married student who has a son, her husband is in her home country working while she studies for a PhD here and lives the life of a single mum. I've only hung out with her 3 or 4 times but I value her friendship and do not really want to escalate to sex. I've always been pretty physical with her and make a lot of sexual remarks often resulting in her playfully punching me or otherwise being physical. But that's just because sexual flirting has become a part of who I am. My read on this girl is she's not really down for extramarital sex.

2) I bumped into and spent the afternoon and evening with a bar manager yesterday whose bar I used to frequent and who used to give me shitloads of free drinks and food and otherwise be totally physical with me, I'm 100% sure if she didn't have a bf she'd be down. Again I've only hung with her 3 or 4 times and never before in a person-to-person context, only in quiet times at her work. I think her relationship sounds boring and I hate her boyfriend frame because she gets it out at times that irritate me. I'm sure she loves her bf but my read is it's all a bit pedestrian and she should be living life. I've always been determined to escalate. I came within a hair of pulling her to her place and getting her drunk but sunk my ship at the last hurdle. FU can be read in my journal.

3) My regular gf is unhappily married to another guy and gets sex from him like 3 or 4 times a year. Also, she picked me. Nuff said.

cheers, Ray

 

[Valesti]

Interesting. From what you guys are saying, I guess it really isn't a matter of morality.

I guess more broadly, there are always times where we can indulge in the desires that we have, but we often choose not to for the sake of another person's feelings, social ramifications, etc.

In this scenario, I think I'll just go for it - I mean I'm really not good friends with the BF (though, as I said, he does go to my school). I doubt she would tell him if we actually did get together anyway, right?

 

[NarrowJ]

I doubt she would tell him if we actually did get together anyway, right?

Correct

She'll likely tell him something similar to the "I'm confused and not sure what I want. We should just be friends for a while and see how that works." variety of bullcrap lines that women tell guys to protect their egos and feelings. The only time a girl would spill the beans about another guy being in the picture is if she's being vindictive about something the BF did, and even then it is highly unlikely she is going to divulge the identity of the other guy (you, in this case).

I think you're good to go. It's not like they are happily married or something, so there's not really any morals at play here in my opinion.

Have fun

J.J.